|Reviews for A Divided Heart|
| Bad Player chapter 6 . 4/26/2006
Good chapter! And yay chaos deck!
Oh, one little type with ur card:
Gift From Hell and Heaven
Image of the paradise of Heaven and the fires of Hell. This card can only be activated when your FIELD IS EMPTY, and you have no cards in your graveyard, add one fairy and one fiend to your hand.
U can't activate it 'cause it'll be on the field (it should say "This card can only be activated when your field is empty (excluding this card), and you have no cards in your graveyard, add one fairy and one fiend to your hand.")
Keep it up!
| Bad Player chapter 5 . 4/17/2006
Good chapter! And horray for good camulla! Although u had 2 typos:
-After using magic cylinder, camulla should have 300 lp, not 500
-U said sword of damacles increased her attack by 10 and decreased her attack by 10.
Good chapter anyway, keep it up!
| Aurora Wings chapter 5 . 4/16/2006
i found a mistake in your story. it says that blade of damacles raises saint joan's attack but lowers it's attack. that makes no sense. i think you tried to say it raises attack but lowers defense. i think. anyways, good story
d:) don't tip your hat
| Bad Player chapter 4 . 4/15/2006
Finally, u updated again! Good chapter! yay!
And is Camilla the 2nd Shadow Rider Camilla?
| to lazy to login chapter 4 . 4/13/2006
i don't hink you can use quick attack on your first turn. it is used when a trap or spell card is used and it says you have to wait a turn to attack.
| to lazy to login chapter 2 . 4/13/2006
good story. just wanted to note somthing. it's spelled P-R-O-P-H-E-C-Y. it's spelled with out the s.
| Phantom 1 chapter 3 . 3/1/2006
This is one of those hidden treasure stories, a story that you think is bad but is actually better than you expected. The using of card names as chapter titles was a nice touch. I'll be paying attention to this to see where it goes.
| Lux-Nero chapter 3 . 3/1/2006
This is a good story line. However, I would suggest taht you would use past tense verbs. Your writing semi-clashes with itself. Other than that the duels are quite interesting.
| rs chapter 2 . 2/20/2006
not bad but u havent updated in a while try 2 update soon
| Neon Genesis chapter 2 . 2/12/2006
sounds really cool! update soon! what are your other stories?
| Supertoad chapter 1 . 11/28/2005
It's Bandit Keith, you stupid idiot. Howard is is last name, NOT Keith. Anyone with a BRAIN would have been able to figure that out, because Keith is a FIRST name. NOT a LAST name, but a FIRST name. And yes, I agree with your last reviewer. THis is a horrid SUE. Why she's a sue? Because of 1) her name, 2) she sounds like she's such an awesome duelist already.
Please create a character that's REALISTIC, not pathetically cheezy and Mary sueish. Oh, and Summers isn't even a name you would use in Japan anyway.
| Cymoril Avalon chapter 1 . 11/28/2005
Just to let you know, Bandit Keith's last name is Howard.
And...your character smacks of Mary Sue.
I can't really say much since I haven't seen GX (as far as I am concerned, the series ended with the Memory Arc), but you can really turn this into a great story if you make sure you keep your OFC realistic. Don't make her Deck too powerful, don't make her too pretty or smart or special or strong or anything. Try to make her an ordinary, everyday girl that we might meet on the bus, or in the mall, or in our classes. Make her someone we can relate to, and you will have everyone hooked.