|Reviews for Urusei Yatsura The Senior Year|
| jrarulez chapter 35 . 6/5
| ryuulover chapter 9 . 11/30/2006
I usually don’t do this, reviewing a story that’s been finished for more than five years and has long since been (probably) forgotten. I realize my critiques of the plot are useless at this point and those for style are moot (as you have probably long since perfected/improved your writing skills). However, your story—like Urusei Yatsura itself—seems to be underappreciated and ignored by the majority of the fanfic/anime community. As such, I am willing to put my feelings of awkwardness aside to promote both your fic and the series, and probably boost your ego—as an (inexperienced) author and (hopefully, I would like to think) semi-decent writer myself, I know what it’s like to pour your heart and soul into a story with the hopes of many reviews, only to fall short (forgive me if I’m imposing feelings onto you).
Before I begin the review, let me just say that I am new to the series. After trying to find it online for a couple years, I finally gave up and downloaded the manga (I finished it a week ago). My only exposure to the animated series has been the description of the differences on wikipeadia, and the few glimmering glimpses I get off of amv’s. In short, please excuse me if a series-continuity (personality-wise) critique I make is blatantly wrong.
Right off the bat, I was a little iffy about the quality of the story. The way that Ataru’s feelings were portrayed made it seem like his character had regressed to the first few volumes of the manga (actively trying to get rid of Lum, instead of feigning annoyance and non-caring towards her but still desiring her to be close to him and stay in his life). That, coupled with the sudden and sharp shift from comedy (ala the series) to drama (ala your first story), and your use of character interaction with the writer and audience (which I, personally, tend to relate to more amateur writers…no offence) made me doubt whether or not I would enjoy the story. However, your plot was interesting and enticing, compelling me to continue reading in spite of the few ticks that were bothering me (I should explain that I started reading looking for something like a sequel to the series that would stay true to the feel and atmosphere of the manga and anime, so it took me a few chapters to get over the disappointment that you were taking creative license to the extreme with your makeover of the series).
In the second chapter, I was pleased to see more comedy and less drama, but still had concerns about your writing abilities; in the first few stories where you introduced Nassur, he seemed to be overpowered and appeared to be stealing the spot-light in your story (which—I have found—is a common problem with OC’s). With the seemingly Gary Stu character and Ataru’s random spurts of OOC-ness, and I had a few moments where I was wondering if I would like the story enough to see it through to the end. But, as an analytical reader, I found enough positive counters to convince me to see it through. First of all, I was very impressed at the professionalism with which you handled your story: the layout of your “heading” (for lack of better term) was very impressive, as was the way you handled your writer’s notes. I found the summaries at the beginning of each part to be a bit excessive, but I assume the reason for this is that it was published in a weekly magazine (or something to that affect, provided something like that exists. That conclusion also explained (to me) why you explained each important plot point about the UY universe as if the reader had never seen/read the series). I was also impressed with how well you were able to write in present-tense—it tends to be much harder to write well, and I think you pulled it off very nicely. Also, my fears the Nassur would be a Gary Stu turned out to be false, and—with 20/20 hindsight—I realize that most every character in Urusei Yatsura has a Story or two dedicated to glorifying themselves when they are first introduced. So you, inadvertently or not, were matching the style of the series perfectly. Kudos.
Starting at the end of Story 5, and clear through Story 8, I began to actually despise the way you were portraying Ataru. While I can appreciate a good dark-spell, I felt that you took it too far with Ataru, namely when he started going ballistic on the girls, and especially whenever he snapped at Lum. Now, as I said, I’m an analytical reader. While the fan-boy inside me was screaming “foul play” for “ruining Ataru’s character,” the author in me was picking up on the little tidbits and clues that you had been dropping since Story 2 (something I love to do with my stories…dropping small clues here and there while slowly making changes that will eventually lead up to something big), hoping and trusting that you were doing this both as a plot-device, and a means to make the story more realistic (vs. simply being a bad author and inadvertently ruining a good series). And, after I finished ‘Sakura’s Class Reunion’ (which was the one my inner fan-boy detested the most) and began reading stories seven and eight, my hypothesis and hope that you were changing Ataru on purpose and knew what you were doing became more and more apparently true. I congratulate you on how well and smoothly you made Ataru’s transition from goofy/idiotic “good guy” to serious/intelligent/analytical “bad guy” to serious/intelligent/analytical “good guy.” By Story 8, while still despising the way Ataru was acting, it was finally Ataru that my inner fan-boy was despising instead of you. At this point I had complete faith that you were an excellent author and knew what you were doing.
And in Story 9, I finally began to enjoy reading the story (the previous six chapters, while remarkably well done, were very difficult for me to read. I personally don’t like confrontations, deception, being mean and cruel to friends, etc; and as such it is painful for me to read, since I have a tendency to put myself in the roll of the main character when I read). As an author myself and through reading other works, I know that one of the hardest things to do is accurately and realistically villanize a character who is normally viewed as a good guy, and to de-villanize a “bad guy.” And I’d like you to know that I think you did an excellent job at it. With Mendou and Lum’s storm troopers it was relatively easy, since they were usually portrayed that way anyways. However, Shinobu was very tricky since she was usually a supporting “good-guy” and I commend you for succeeding in villanizing her in my eyes. I still feel Ryuunoskue and Sakura are being treated unfairly, but…well…I guess I’ll see. I’m also in aw of the fact that at the same time you were realistically changing several of the “good-guy” “bad-guy” roles, you were able to show how each side was justified in their thinking, which a lot of authors forget to do. I cannot thank you enough for including that in your story; it (seeing both sides of an argument) is something that I tend to preach, and it’s refreshing to see someone who naturally (or unnaturally…whatever) shows it. Something that came with the sorting out of who’s “good” and who’s “bad” was that it lifted a lot of the drama, allowing a lot more of the entertaining comedic value to shine through (YAY! It’s turning happy again).
Overall I’d say that I am very impressed with your story. Even though I felt it got off to a shaky start, all the stories are interesting and captivating. A few ticks to mention: half the time, whenever you mention a characters name, I have no clue who you’re talking about, unless they’ve been physically present in the story (i.e. not just mentioned in passing or something similar). It’s good that you have a lot of OC’s, but all the characters talking about people who’s names I don’t recognize gets a little tiresome. It also seems in a few places that you’re heavily basing the space portions of you story on Star Trek. This isn’t so much a tick as it is a humorous observation, but I think it does take away from the creativity of the story. Also, a lot of the characters seem to just suddenly know things about alien affairs that they—in all honesty—shouldn’t know. The only person that comes to mind at the moment is Ataru and his vast knowledge of alien worlds, races, etc. which, while not taking away from the story, doesn’t help when half the time none of what he’s talking about has ever been mentioned before (or enough for me to have remembered it). Your notes at the beginning do help to soften this a lot, but half the time, by the time I reach the part of the story that the note refers to I’ve forgotten what it said already. Which brings me to the only actual “problem” that I’ve had with your story, and that is the length of your chapters. Now, I love long chapters, but when you group the entire story into one chapter, it makes it very hard to find stopping points for me. I don’t know if this is just me, or if other people have the same trouble, but it’s the one thing I would suggest you take into serious consideration. Well…maybe not that serious…but at least think about it (i.e. separating the chapters up so that each part of the stories have their own chapter). Other than that, this story is awesome. Again, the little ticks aren’t something that take away from the overall quality of the story, just the things that years of critical reading in school has made me raise an eyebrow to. You are an awesome author and I am truly in aw of your skill. You are compelling, creative, and you took the difficult—seemingly impossible—task of turning a very cartoonish series into something realistic. That is a feat that should not go unnoticed and I applaud your ability to pull it off. I look forward to seeing where this story goes, and sorry for the length of this review.
C’ya in a few chapters.
| Shinigami chapter 70 . 8/16/2004
*evil smirk* I've never seen snyone clear a space so fast! The 'auction' gave me a great idea for a practical joke! Plus the joke should get rid of several unwanted guests! Oi, Malik! I need your help with something! *Malik wanders over, Shini whispers to Malik, the latter nods then leave, only to return with Duo Maxwell*
Shini: Want to help me with something? It involves a joke, designed to get rid of the unwated guests! *points to Relena Peacecraft, Ron Weasley and several of Shini's most hated characters from various fandom*
Shini: Shinobu, thanks for the idea! Malik, get Seto in here! I need to borrow his clone machine...*a few minutes later, Ryou is playing announcer,
Ryou: Duo has promised for the highest bidder, TWENTY BILLION CLONES OF HIMSELF! Nabiki is collecting bets on when/if the unwanted guests would either stick it out or bolt. Ukyo, Malik, Natsume, Quatre, and a few of the muses are representatives of Relena and the others. Screams of horror went up from Relena and the 'guests' along with those not aware of Shini's plot.
Severus: NO! WHO'LL PROTECT OUR SANITY? Harry and Draco are falling over theirselves into mirth. *Yugi turns to the camera*
Yugi: The whole 'auction' will take too long, so this concludes the review! Shini loved the auction idea! Now back to reading the fic!
| Lulu chapter 1 . 6/14/2003
Very good chapter. I haven't been watching this for awhile and I thought this was really funny
| Hunter Sopko chapter 1 . 3/18/2003
This is possibly the longest thing I have ever read... 1.5 million words, I estimate that at like, 3 to 4 thousand pages in MS Word.
The series had its ups and downs. The lesbian fixation was a little strange... I mean, I'm not a prude, but you kinda went a little overboard You introduce some characters that I REALLY wish were in the show... like Nassur, Koosei and Nagaiwakai. You also showed me a side of Shinobu that I'd never seen before, and really made me appreciate her character more. (Thank you to Philip Gavigan for the Shinobu saga. The Ranma crossover was very well done)
Some parts angered me (Most notably who finished the Mikado...), but it was a GOOD type of anger, because it was due to me being so involved in the story, and not because they were bad. (Though the saga did have its rough spots). This took me an entire summer to read, beginning to end.
I definately have to thank all of the authors. Urusei Yatsura is a very underappreciated anime IMHO, and it is awesome to see skilled writers like yourselves take the time to write something as epic as this. It's also possibly the longest fic on as far as I've seen.
I've said as much as I can say without going in-depth to every Chapter... Keep up the good work.
| Derald Snyder chapter 48 . 2/13/2003
Without a doubt one of the best fanfic-sagas I have ever read. Good job, all of you.
| Adyen chapter 77 . 9/1/2002
I'll admit now that I haven't read all the side stories yet, but I *have* read all the main ones from another site I found, and I have to say that this is one piece of art that goes hand in hand with other great works like Eyrie's UF universe... hmmm... Actually, I can't think of anything else that can match it.
Anyways, this is great, and I think I'll spend a few days reading all your other works as well!
| Tsukino Kage Spectre chapter 1 . 3/22/2002
At first, i didn't like it much. Certainly it was funny, but not as entertaining as Lonely Souls was. Then came chapter 6 and I said wow! What came before sucked in comparison to it, but from then since, I was hooked.
| Midnight Lady chapter 1 . 9/30/2001
WOW! URUSEI YATSURA is the best anime out there, i'm just sad that there aren't a lot of fans. i would absolutely love to review every chapter in this huge story, but i can't. i'm sorry. you're all terrific writers though and you need to keep writing. :)
| Chmia chapter 35 . 7/1/2001
I love this fic.
It is just so long.
| kim chapter 1 . 5/9/2001
this is a good fic. the ending was the best part, this is one of the best ones of all the ones written.