|Reviews for Global Martial Arts vs Neo Shadowlaw|
| Vammy chapter 1 . 11/30/2005
OKay...I just read the first paragraph...and I'm forced to stop reading now and ask if English is your first language. The grammer is off to the point of not being able to get past it. No one can even attempt to enojy your story if they cannot understand it. Try reading things outloud after you write them and seeing if they sound right...if they don't...they are probably out of tense or just outright wrong.
Sorry to be focused on something like this but without it you cannot even begin to develop a story
| Supertoad chapter 1 . 11/30/2005
Neo Shadowlaw huh?
Yeah, this story need a lot of work. The plot isn't so bad but...seriously, this story isn't really believable.