|Reviews for Bulgarian Mascara|
| Nhaz chapter 1 . 10/14/2015
I found the story entertaining. Now, since I'm Bulgarian, I'd like to offer some constructive criticism about the Bulgarian bits you've included, even of this story is 10 years old already.
Most of the phrases are either in very broken Bulgarian or in other languages altogether. I presume you just didn't know better, but for the sole purpose of improving this story, I will now point out the mistakes and how you can fix them to make the expressions more authentic. Please do not accept this as a rant.
"Kak, Vie sapruga Viktor, da?" - Literally, that would be translated as "How, you Viktor wife, yes?". In addition, it has Russian syntax - there is no verb "to be" (which in this case would be "ste" - "you[, Miss,] are" and the "... yes?" at the end is not something Bulgarians have - the closest equivalent would be "... nali?" ["... right?"]. The proper Bulgarian phrase would be "Taka li ["what?" or "is that so?"], Vie li ste saprugata na Viktor?". That would be an expression of surprise. If you wanted to write the question as some vague guess or something meant to be a joke, it could also be "Vie da ne ste saprugata na Viktor?". Even better, "sapruga" sounds too formal and can be replaced with "zhena" [woman, but also colloquial speech for wife]: "Vie da ne ste zhenata na Viktor?". I'm leaving aside the fact that they are both teenagers and one would wonder whether Hermione is Viktor's girlfriend, not his wife.
"Viktor! Ti priyatel ist hier!" - Okay, that one made me laugh, no offence. It would literally be translated from two languages as "You [male] friend is here". Since Hermione is a girl and nouns in Bulgarian are gendered, especially when referring to people, the proper expression for "your [female] friend" would be "tvoyata priyatelka" (although that sounds more like "that lady friend of yours" and in this case another form is more suitable - "priyatelkata ti"). Then, "ist hier" does mean "is here"... in German. The whole sentence would be "priyatelkata ti e tuk" (literal translation) or "priyatelkata ti e doshla" ["Your lady friend has come"], which sounds more natural. Also, Bulgarian has a vocative case, which dictates that whe addressing someone, their name gets a suffix. In the case of male names, it's -e, resulting in "Viktore! Priyatelkata ti e doshla!"
"Viktor! Kade e ti?" :D This one would mean "Viktor! Where is you?". The verb "to be" in second person singular would be "si" - "Kade si ti?" [more like "where art thou"]. Now, since both the verb and the pronoun denote clearly the person and number, one of them gets redundant and thus Bulgarians omit the pronoun - it becomes "Viktore! Kade si?" ["Viktor? Where art [thou]?"]. The pronoun would only be included if stressed upon ("I'm here, where are you?").
"Kon da ti go natrese" - This one makes me think that you might be a trolling Bulgarian after all, because it's the one sentence in absolutely proper Bulgarian. For those curious, its literal translation is "May a horse slam it into you". I trust there is no need to clarify what "it" is referring to.
"Ti viydesh za menya" is the proper question for proposing marriage... in Russian. In Bulgarian it would be "Shte se omuzhish li za men" ["Will you take me as your man"]. This is specifically the expression as said by a man. A marriage proposal at that age is pretty weird though - the age of consent in Bulgaria may be 14, but hardly any teenagers think about marriage. That's the Muggles, though, and you could always say it's different for wizards.
Also, that's some fancy recipe for airyan. I've got to try it. All my life I've been thinking it's just yoghurt diluted with water. It's not bad though, especially for the summer.
| anon chapter 1 . 8/25/2015
i loved the POVs of both main characters and how you made them 3D.
The only thing i was worried about that she's only 14...maybe it would have been best to have had a time skip for that part?
still really liked your one shot :)
| LightningFuryStrike13 chapter 1 . 7/2/2015
Ya know I'm been thinking of this pairing recently and remembering when I read this story before and the age difference isn't quite as bad as it might have seemed at first.
Hermione's older than Harry by almost a year. She was 15 years old by September 19th of their 4th year and so in this story would have been 15 and half. Viktor on the other hand has his birthday in the summertime at the the Quidditch World Cup would have just turned 18. There's only 3 years between them not 4. There's every likelihood that Hermione is at the stage of development physically and mentally that she is in this story though. You've written it very well.
| Jinx craft chapter 1 . 5/10/2015
| Stalker Witch chapter 1 . 1/20/2015
I just love it so much. How you made him so loving and adoring of Hermione. How she is still her so logical self. You did a great writing of them , I think, very in character and it's just awesome! 5/5
| 0Shadow Panther0 chapter 1 . 9/9/2014
"A horse would fit in you"
Hueh hueh I swear a lot in pbscure foreign languages (Finnish mostly) at school so no one ever knows what I'm talking about but now I have a new curse heh
| coraluna chapter 1 . 12/23/2013
oh my goodness the smut was so awkward but the whole thing was so cute
| Dada Martinovic chapter 1 . 11/16/2013
Yej! I understood all of the Bulgarian senteces because I'm from Serbia, and they have nearly the same words as we! :DD
But, ur story is good! I love it 3
| xxKhaleesixx chapter 1 . 7/27/2013
Beautiful. Absolutely beautiful. As soon as I read the translation for "Ti viy desh za me nya?" I just melted.
| 555 chapter 1 . 11/29/2012
Love this! Wish you would write more!
| Annika the Merciful chapter 1 . 10/7/2012
I think this is really well done. For her being 14 and him 18 I think you did a brilliant job on everything. I really liked how Hermione was afraid, I know some girls that are so excited to be with a certain guy that they don't care. But I can imagine Hermione being nervous. I think you did really well having Viktor go slow with her and trying to please her. It was very well done.
| Dude Lika Ninja chapter 1 . 7/5/2012
I love Viktor and Hermione together. You captured them perfectly in this story. Great job, this was amazing!
| Ranawe217 chapter 1 . 4/29/2012
This story is well written and I like your perspective of Hermione and Krum's relationship.
| hochexplosiv chapter 1 . 11/4/2011
I like your style. Such a sweet and beautifull story. Shame it stops here.
| harnicem chapter 1 . 9/5/2011
I quite enjoyed this. I must admit though I am a bit puzzled over the title