|Reviews for To Fight The Coming Darkness|
| Spica75 chapter 9 . 1/31
Some really novel stuff here, especially liked Peter studying motivational thinking, lol. Flighty Narcissa was neat as well. Also nice to see a proper Potter will, one that does not retroactively know that Peter is a traitor despite trusting him at the time.
And letting Peter be the competent person his deeds show him to clearly be.
However, its extremely kliché with the "my old friends were never really friends and must now be automatically rejected". Even if you did it better than average, its still very thin on believability.
Ron is a shallow, jealous and often nasty git, and Harry still sticks with him like glue if given the chance, but hes about the only one to be believable to drop as a friend. And thats mostly because Ron is petty enough to let something get between them and stay there.
Ditching Hermione because of what happened so far? Not a chance. And likewise from her side even if Harry tried.
Ginny would mope, be pissed off like hell, possibly blow something up, for a while and then most likely get over it and start focusing on keeping Harry -alive-. After spending most of her life as a fangirl, theres no way she wouldnt, especially when it could let her at least stick around him.
| mab70 chapter 26 . 1/28
I know this is war and all but do you have to kill somebody important every chapter?
Also, I have been screaming at Harry and Dumbledore to redo the Fidelus charm ever since they knew Snape was a traitor. I mean, if you gave a key to your house to a friend and then found out that friend was out to hurt you , the first thing you would do is change the locks to your house.
| Confused chapter 6 . 1/25
Is there a reason that you misspell HermIOne's name every single time? The first couple of times I thought they were typos, but it seems to be a pattern after several chapters of it.
| Guest chapter 24 . 1/16
harry and ron both got the same grades, they where B student but so many people like to say harry could have been one of the best students in school. well why not ron if he did not get made fun of for year a wand that was made for him. he did well later in life so why not
| Daphne y yo chapter 31 . 12/7/2014
Wow, that Voldywart interview is perfect. Very interesting seeing both sides.
| rakfnan45 chapter 41 . 11/19/2014
This is quite possibly the best story that I've seen written on this site. It is truly beautiful the way you made it detailed, yet not mind-numbing, and quick moving, without lacking a sense of realism. Easily the most entertaining and interesting version of Riddle that I've ever seen. I just wish all the most interesting plots that I've come across could be written so brilliantly. Thank you for writing this.
| CPO Backstreet chapter 41 . 11/16/2014
Hmm. Well, I made it to the end. You pulled back from what I feared but didn't quite manage to avoid making it seem like a bit of a disappointment. I sighed at seeing the "Ginny's an attempted rapist" cliché present and correct, at least you pulled back and made her sympathetic before killing her for no good reason, along with quite a few other characters (Luna killed as practically an afterthought, Dumbledore dying like an idiot). Maybe I'm missing the point but it seemed like there were a bit too many cases where the genuine 24-carat scumbags come out on top. Neville's killing rampage fails to off Pansy, who not only gets away with effectively murdering Ginny but actually profits from it. Hannah gets several levels of punishment but Chelsea Abbott, who seems well on the way to being the next Bellatrix Lestrange with her utter lack of remorse for harming Ginny, basically gets told not to do it again, then carries on being a bully. (And yeah, even if the magical oath is fanon, it makes no sense. How does having information ripped from your mind against your will qualify as telling them?) Oh yes, and Voldemort and Scrimgeour are still plotting to conquer the world, but I guess that's part of the temporary victory thing you've got on. But for a story that supposedly doesn't suit a sequel, it seems to be crying out for one.
Harry and Susan...well, she came across as a generic love interest at times but that kind of suits her status as an ordinary girl in the right place at the wrong time, who Harry bonds with through circumstances. I liked the way you wrote his relationships with just about everyone. The double bluff of Narcissa's betrayal didn't quite ring true when her thoughts had been written as if she was for real. Some great final battle scenes though.
| Guest chapter 13 . 11/8/2014
I like that your Voldemort plots respectably-in canon he seems to take advice directly from the evil overlord list.
| daithi4377 chapter 3 . 11/9/2014
In this chapter I can with some squinting see Dumbledore side of things but I still go with Harry. The comment or recipe he gave after the going Dark bit was insightful. Dumbledore by the looks of it is his usual I'm right and my way of looking at things is the only way it will be. Hopefully Harry wakes up and uses his brain.
| daithi4377 chapter 2 . 11/9/2014
Dawlish is hit and miss I've read where he is a marked or unmarked death eater and then where he is one if the good guys but a tad stupid. Haven't really seen enough here to see which way he goes but I'm learning towards the light, good ambition but a bit gryffendorish in speaking before thinking.
| daithi4377 chapter 1 . 11/9/2014
I wish you hadn't killed Amelia of all the adults in canon and most fanfiction Amelia is in the top five favourites.
| Kevin chapter 41 . 11/6/2014
I loved the "gritty realism" and "believable Voldemort" and the unique elements of this story. All together it has been one of my favorite stories.
I have been conditioned to a Voldemort invulnerable to everyone other than Harry and Dumbledore that seeing him get injured was a shock. I enjoyed your gritty realism here and at the rarely mentioned fact that schoolchildren with no training shouldn't be able to fight experienced warriors. There are only so many stories you can read before a couple of school kids defeating trained aurors using "teamwork" wears thin. Kudos for having the guts to kill characters off left and right, "it's a war" for everyone but the main characters that I really like.
You gave Neville extraordinary and unique character; you have a bunch of Slytherns proud of the fact that their parents are murdering the families of their classmates and nobody gets violent despite having lethal weapons since age 11. Neville going on a killing spree is honestly understandable; parents tortured into insanity, family murdered before you, daily taunts from their killers. You almost want to cheer him on because every single one of those kids is going to be torturing others next summer. Sympathy and disgust, understandable but unacceptable.
The unicorn vest ideas was brilliant as was Hagrid's last stand with Fluffy and Aragog.
Adapting Peter from a mindless idiotic sycophant into a powerful follower was masterfully done; the adapted Marauder's map is a great idea (suspiciously advanced for a few schoolchildren in an unplottable castle... anyway).
All in all your story is incredible; it is the best, most realistic, normal-powered Harry Potter war story I have read.
| DylanL chapter 41 . 10/23/2014
A very interesting story. I did want to stop reading sometimes when u did things to characters I liked such as Tonk's rape, but I persevered and I'm glad I did because while I liked 'lie if lived' better, this is still a great story. I look forward to other ones from u including the conclusion of voldy for good in this universe. At least this one only leaves it open to a possible sequel instead of having a sequel needed for the story to be finished.
| CPO Backstreet chapter 15 . 10/16/2014
Okay, that semi-negates one of my complaints although it still makes the emphasis in the earlier chapter a bit over the top. I can't quite decide if this fiction is trying to be even-handed or not, and whether we're meant to side with Harry and Susan when they dismiss Dumbledore making valid points or just see it as two strong personalities clashing.
| CPO Backstreet chapter 14 . 10/15/2014
Sorry that my last review was a bit harsh, I wrote it at a bad moment. The problem is that this story is so well-written and plotted that flaws that would be acceptable in a lesser fiction are so glaring. I did like the portrayal of Dumbledore here, we've only really seen him from Harry's point of view up to now which has resulted in him being demonised a bit. The occasional use of Americanisms rankles (Scrimgeour would more likely reference the Territorials than the National Guard and you don't really get fixed term posts or interim ministers in the UK, they elect "permanent" replacements instead) but it's a problem I'm very familiar with and I know how hard it is to put yourself in the mindset of someone else's culture.