|Reviews for Picture Perfect: ReEdited Version|
| Chaseha-Wing chapter 1 . 6/26/2009
lol, how silly... I wonder what Kyo's picture looked like
| Anomi chapter 1 . 2/16/2006
evil...i didn't see differents
| unheard screams chapter 1 . 12/6/2005
Nice scenario! Lub...it...! Are you going to continue? Please PM me back so i can put you on authors alert.
wind...kyo really is like the wind, isnt he?
| Kagome-reincarnation chapter 1 . 12/6/2005
Seeing as you requested a reviewer from FFWAP that was not available at the time, I have been asked to step in. If you find my review unsatisfactory, you have more than enough in rights to tell FFWAP that you believe that I am inadequate. In your email, you stated that you felt your detailing and dialogue was a bit off, and you stated that you were worried about the length.
First of all, the length is fine. There are many fanfictions that are even shorter than this, but just as adequate.
Your dialogue is just fine. There are some things that you might want to look at, like when Uotani-san cuts yuki off. You put three periods. Some people prefer dashes, so I thought you might want to know.
I think you could put some more discerning details into the plat, but everything comes across rather clearly, so it's fine.
Personally, I think you left you characters a little out of character. For one thing, Yuki's not one to gloat. He's more of a 'whatever, let's just get this done' kind of guy. You also added in at the end that he thought that Kyou had fainted. I seriously doubt that Yuki would think that, seeing as the reasons he listed are highly un-Yuki like. For instance, Yuki isn't that prideful. While he does mention in the series that he is filled with pride, he is a rather modest person. In your fanfiction, Yuki was also quite a smart-alec. He talked back to the teacher and was sharing a private joke with Kyo. That is definitely not normal. I would think that Yuki, as a perfectionist, would actually draw a cat, or something of the like. It was Kyo he had to represent.
Also, Mayuko-sensei was definitely out of character. While I can understand the loudness part, I don't understand where you're getting all of the "SILENCE"s and all. She's more of the type of person that would simply say, 'Shut up.' Then, she'd yell it out. At that point, the class would normally be quite, allowing her to continue with whatever she is doing.
You have some punctuation errors in here; such as incomplete sentences, (which I understand are for the effect,)and past tense issue. For instance, "Sohma Yuki, are you done with your picture already? The rest of the class had barely started!” Instead of 'had barely started', one would put 'has barely started.'
Well, that's my review and I hope you found it satisfactory. Any questions and comment can be directed to FFWAP, or the FanFiction Writer's Assistance Program, or me. You can reach the FFWAP at
or me at
Thank you, and your fanfiction was great!
| urbanprincess54 chapter 1 . 12/4/2005
A-ha-ha-ha-ha! That was funny. I thought it was going to be like the other story titled Picture Perfect. You really used the title well.
| christiankikyo chapter 1 . 12/3/2005
i liked that! twas good, and i know how yuki feels... kyo is hard to draw!
| potatopeeler chapter 1 . 12/3/2005
I didn't grasp the whole 'wind' concept and I thought Mayuko was sort OOC, but otherwise very good. _
| Klove0511 chapter 1 . 12/3/2005