|Reviews for Wounded Bird|
| Farla chapter 3 . 3/22/2010
Eek. So while I maintain my stance that if he's awesome with a guitar I don't see why he doesn't get money that way, I certainly can see why he wouldn't want to join up with this group, because wow are those ever not good dynamics. Unfortunately it seems like that's what he's doing.
More insight into his head would really help here - you're mostly just using the narration just far enough to make sure the story's described through a blind man's eyes (and doing a surprisingly good job of it so far) but not really getting any deeper in. If he's not intimidated by leader-guy, than the fact leader-guy is so obviously a bad leader who's already pissed off at him might not matter. If he likes friendly girl, then he might be going with them over that. Or maybe he wants to travel in a group period for some reason. But right now he's just hanging out being a cipher.
| Farla chapter 2 . 3/22/2010
"Coins jangled on the cobblestone of the street as the person that had attempted to take them from Thrush's bowl jolted in shock."
"Blind Thrush began skimming the ground trying to recover as many coins as he could. "
"He was missing a little over one-fourth of what had been in the bowl before the thief's attempt. "
So...considering that his awesome anti-theft senses don't much help prevent his money from getting scattered and partially lost, why did he ever come up with the idea of keeping his money in a visible bowl next to him in the first place? I mean, is there any real advantage over just putting it directly in whatever bag he carries it in?
...and he's a super guitar player? I mean, it makes a lot of sense that he could pick out problems with music, but if he's an instant hit like this why's he fortune telling? You're not really clear about how much money he's getting beyond that it impresses the other players - obviously if he's getting more telling fortunes then the answer's obvious. The other option is that he doesn't like playing because of past trauma, but for one thing he probably also learned about fortune telling from his dead master and for another that didn't stop him from doing it just now.
The writing's okay, but plotwise pretty meh.
| Farla chapter 1 . 3/22/2010
:D This what a backstory should be.
| Ame Suisei chapter 2 . 4/3/2006
Interesting, though i must say from the first time you showed me the first chapter i thought Blind Thrush was a tad monied.. But this works just fine..
I like it. Can't wait for the next chapter.
-peace my friend!
| Kes Quest chapter 1 . 3/3/2006
I thought it was well writen. My first character didn't get anyplay either, hopeful I'll write a story about her someday.