|Reviews for The Life of Visser 7|
| aizxana chapter 1 . 1/3/2006
Hehehe good job! Keep 'em coming!
| Kharina chapter 1 . 12/16/2005
OK, well I was going to say this when it was on the forum but didn't have the time.
There seems to be an awful lot of mistakes in this. You said something about Visser 7's mom telling him not to have more Taxxons, but Yeerks don't have mothers that are alive. You changed from councilor 4's funeral to councilor 8's funeral and then back... which one did you mean?
It also jumped from place to place and topic to topic without much flowing between and was generally quite confusing. It seemed to come across like you'd written it when you were hyper.
It could be good if you took more time checking over your chapter and spaced out the funny stuff with some more serious stuff. A humour fic isn't funny if it's just a bombarding of one random and ridiculous event after another. You need to be slightly more subtle than that. (not that I claim to be an expert on writing humour fics, I know I can't write them very well so I don't try, but I have read plenty.)
A good idea if you want to make this fic better and more funny is to read one of the books in the series narrated by Marco, and see how KAA makes it funny. Obviously marco books aren't parodies and this is, so it won't be exactly the same, but there are some ideas in there you can use.
Please don't take this the wrong way, like I said this could be good (or I wouldn't waste my time writing a long review like this :) ) but only if you take your time over it a bit more. The enthusiam's there, you just need to work on the style. It will come with practice.
I look forward to the next instalment!
| Mage Ronin chapter 1 . 12/5/2005
what happened to your other stories?
this is funny but not hilarious.
you keep making mistakes.
| TobiasHawk13 chapter 1 . 12/5/2005
i luv it! i especially like the idea of Visser 3 having a best friend! and i like the pranks! update soon, please, with Visser 3 on top?
| Sinister Shadow chapter 1 . 12/4/2005
Hey Tobyas! :D By the way, I don't know if it was a mistake in the author's note, but I'm a girl. (I'm talking about "he let me write this" in the A/N)
As you already know this is a great story. I'm really flattered you based it on my story. Just for you I'll add Visser 7 in the next chapter!
Please update soon,