|Reviews for Second Choices, Second Chances|
| Reklar chapter 28 . 5/13/2007
Mmhmm, the plot thickens most noticeably, though I cannot say I will be surprised with the outcome of the events now set in motion. It is nice to get a sense of Kelsey's character, particularly since I have not used his mod before, and I find I rather dislike the scoundrel on his own merits, and not just by his stated actions earlier in the story. I also find Pentram to be a likeable character who faithfully stays true to the alignment one would expect of a Helmite high priest (truth over all).
Before the story is over I would love to see Jaheira and Kelsey in a knock down, drag out, battle of sharp wits and even sharper tongues. I am certain Jaheira would win, but it would be entertaining nonetheless to see Kelsey put up a fight for awhile. :)
| Reklar chapter 27 . 5/13/2007
Way to go, Keldorn! I can see why everyone likes the old paladin if this is how he acts during the game. :D Oh yes, and the rest of the chapter is good too. :D
| Reklar chapter 26 . 5/13/2007
I never did spend much time with old Keldorn when I played the game, but he certainly has a devoted following and, by all appearances, is deserving of such devotion. Should I ever fire up the old game again I'll have to look into recruiting him to my party (darn that six party member limit). As for the rest, it is suitably mushy and gooey for the romance fans and I much approve of it. :D
| Reklar chapter 25 . 5/13/2007
Not much to say here except that I am surprised Anomen didn't laugh outright at the intense nervousness of Martel and Danis after they finally told him of the little deception. Cheers to him for not exactly condoning Martel's fibbing (not a trait you want to encourage in a squire, I'm sure), but not punishing him for it either. ;)
| Reklar chapter 24 . 5/13/2007
Hmm, I'm certain I read this chapter prior to my "disappearance" late last year, but apparently I never commented on it. Time to remedy that! :)
I loved the dialogue concerning Jaheira's appointment as Anomen's "second" because it shows a great deal of character depth for all involved, and the knowing way in which they discuss her behavior and how it affects the course of the discussion between Anomen and Merena is a nice way to segue into the following dialogue. Speaking of which, the level of discomfort between the two lovers is on the mark and resolved quite appropriately, proving once again that they are a good match by being able to talk through their problems.
On the editing side, I'm certain I found something somewhere, but since I didn't take note of it I can't very well point it out to you. I do have a comment on the following line, however:
Anomen snorted. “You’ll get no argument from me on that point, Merena!”
Depending upon the mood you are trying to convey, angry, bitter, or ironic, you might have chosen a period to end the sentence instead of an exclamation mark. A more brooding Anomen would probably not exclaim the line, so my conclusion is that he is approaching the comment with levity. Either way, it fits within the rest of the conversation.
| Elidi chapter 35 . 4/8/2007
I just started following this story and I’m very impressed. You’ve been very true to the original characters, it’s romantic without being sugary, and there’s enough conflict to keep the story interesting. I do have a minor criticism, however. Certain parts of your wording become repetitive after a while. Examples:
1. The word “dear”. It’s always, “dear Anomen,” or “This is what I think, dear.” There are plenty of terms of endearment out there and they could use some exercise.
2. Anomen is always “kind to Kylia.” As descriptors go, “kind” is rather weak considering the way he dotes on her. You can do better.
3. You use the phrase “called his/her name” a lot, and the situations don’t always seem appropriate. When you’re in the middle of kissing someone, murmuring or whispering their name seems more fitting to me than calling it.
As I said, minor things on the whole but at certain points they detract a little from the story.
On a completely different note, I don’t know if you take requests, but I’m putting them in anyway. Two thing I would LOVE to see: 1. for something REALLY bad to happen to Lady Swiftnell (as villains go, you created an awesome one!) and 2. for Kelsey so show up and find that Kylia calls Anomen “Daddy” now. I just think that as payback goes that would be beautiful!
Again, nice work! I'll be watching for updates!
| arabellaesque chapter 35 . 4/8/2007
It might have been a bridge chapter, but it was great stuff; and, as usual, excellently done :)
I'll join the queue of people who want that bedroom as their own while I try to barely contain my wondering at *who*, exactly, will appear next chapter - and I can't wait for Imoen's appearance :D
| Kendris chapter 35 . 4/7/2007
No patience needed, when given such a wonderful chapter. You manage to keep the romance firmly at the heart of the story without pouring on too much sappiness.
And once again, your supporting characters are just as vibrantly drawn as the leads. Gareth, Arthia and Lady Maria are perfect, and the master bedroom *drools with envy*.
Can't wait to see Imoen's surprise!
| Meganalira chapter 35 . 4/7/2007
Wow, when you promised fluff, you held your word! You know you really do a good job of piquing readers' interest in each other chapter or so... Now I can't help but wonder exactly *what* it is Imoen is planning...
I liked how you put Maria into the center of action here, and I'm impatient to see how Arthia will find it being the housekeeper of Delryn House...
Waiting for the next chapter :) I'm glad you're posting more regularly and frequently these days ;)
| Bhictoo chapter 35 . 4/6/2007
I do so like filler chapters; they stop you wondering about details, which is makes everything so lively and real! That teaser, is going to have me squirming. I think I might have an inkling about what or *whom* the surprise might be, but you're twisty enough that it could be something else completely, so I'll leave it at that. :D
In answer to your question about the mouse! yes it was a real one, a fat real one. I haven't been able to discover where it came in, but my husband said that it most likely walked in through either the front or back doors that have been left open day and night, due to the hot weather. Anyway, cleaning out my ex junk room set me on a clean out the house binge. I am even repainting, and haven't been on the computer much at all lately. I have such plans... and my husband is looking ever so fearful...*heads off cackling.*
| ArianaKir chapter 34 . 4/2/2007
I just found this lovely little gem and wanted to let you know how good your story writing is! It was entrancing and well written, and the story line flows well. Looking forward to more!
| Meganalira chapter 34 . 3/20/2007
That's true, this chapter really came more quickly than expected! It was nice, and I must be dumb because I never saw this coming... although I admit that I wondered what would happen to the Delryn estate now that Cor and Anomen were reconciled (is that even a word!)... but I never saw the hint. And I can't find the reference to your favourite author, but since I read only French, I guess at least I have a valid excuse! ;p
I'm looking forward to the next chapter :)
| Willow-41z chapter 34 . 3/17/2007
"But…but we have no *form* for such a thing!” :D And could this possibly be a homage to Lois McMaster Bujold, for Komarr?
I also liked the part where Anomen included being Merena's husband in the honors of his life along with being a knight and a Hand of Helm- very sweet.
This was a nice chapter and I liked the way it flowed. I can't help suspecting you have more difficulties for them up your sleeve, though?
| arabellaesque chapter 34 . 3/17/2007
That was as good as always - I had a feeling Anomen might continue to carry the title and get the home because... well, it seems right for such a chivalrous guy :) It does, however, feel like the end is truly approaching... but we still have a wedding to look forward to, I hope :)
| Kendris chapter 34 . 3/16/2007
She's back! She's back! *does a happy dance*
These chapters were worth waiting for, too. The reconciliation between Anomen and his father was nicely done; a sappy reunion would not have rung true.
I suspected that Anomen might wind up as Lord Delryn, simply because Cor was too drunk to handle the details, but it's very like Anomen that such a thought would never have occurred to him. Amusing how unthinkable it was to the two bureaucrats that he could even think of turning down his inheritance; what they view as privilege, Anomen more correctly sees as both a chance and a responsibility to use his increased influence to do good.