|Reviews for Boxes|
| PoetWITHOUTaCause chapter 1 . 2/23/2013
That was so sad! Good but really, really sad!
| pia-lexandra chapter 1 . 9/18/2012
Wow, just... wow. Great job!
| brookegrace chapter 1 . 12/28/2011
It takes a lot for a story to make me hurt, but this one has been able to leave a numbing in my chest and prickle in my eye. That was beautiful. The ending truly made it. God, Hyde breaks my heart as if I were Jackie.
| That70schick09 chapter 1 . 5/28/2011
Wow. That's so sweet and incredibly well written. You can really get into the characters minds. I love your work.
| crazy.technicolor.mess chapter 1 . 11/22/2010
This was great. I specifically loved the ending, where he burned his half of the picture instead of hers.
| MistyMountainHop chapter 1 . 8/26/2010
1) Maybe if she lived somewhere else, a large city where she wouldn't be forced to see him nearly every day, it would be easier to forget. But she wouldn't be chased out of Point Place by an ex-boyfriend and a tramp who couldn't buy clothes that fit. She was still Jackie Burkhardt, after all. She was queen of all she looked upon—though she had to remind herself of that more often now, too. It was becoming too easy to forget.
You've really captured Jackie's character here, both her pride and her insecurity. You really are a master of writing conflicting emotions
2) "Donna's flannel-wrapped heart"
Terrific image. And totally something Jackie would think.
3)Jackie shifted the weight of the box and turned the corner toward the stairs. But, as if her thoughts had summoned him, her way was blocked by the sudden appearance of Hyde descending the staircase. They simply stood for a moment, staring at each other.
Hyde had his hands half in his pockets, his thumbs looped around his belt buckle. It was a stance she well-recognized. A Zen gesture completed by the inexpressive look on his face. He wasn't glaring at her, but he wasn't moving out of her way, either...
The impasse when Steven first goes up the stairs and blocks Jackie's way creates so much tension just in the set up.
4) "Oh really? What's in the box, Jackie?"
Jackie knew Hyde was testing her. He probably thought she had stuffed it full of unicorns or something. He had always underestimated her. "A broken heart recovery kit," she said defiantly.
Hyde was impressed and trying to hide it. Jackie could tell; she could always tell. "So what's in it? Tequila?"
Again, the conflict is so evident here - not just on the surface about Jackie getting Hyde's "permission" to see Donna, but Jackie's awareness of Hyde's (hidden) feelings, and Hyde's seeming lack of awareness of Jackie's depth.
5) What Jackie actually put in the box - incredibly detailed. So in-character. Deep while displaying Jackie's personality and her knowledge of (and friendship for) Donna.
6) Hyde nodded and slowly rose to his feet, leaving the box on the stair beside him. "Donna will like it."
That was as close as he would come to an apology, Jackie knew. But she had spent enough time getting not-quite-apologies from Hyde.
Hyde's "approval" of the box speaks volumes. Underneath, one can imagine what he's thinking and feeling. And how rightfully sad, resentful, and bitter does Jackie sound about his "not-quite apologies"? Such a well-put phrase.
7) The argument. So many of the wrongs season 8 perpetrated on J/H are expressed here. And it's satisfying watching J/H say what the fans themselves felt about how the characters were mistreated. You integrate the bad characterization really well, give it weight, give it actual consequence and weave it into Jackie and Hyde's true characterization so that it means something for their relationship.
8) "Considering that the consequences of this choice are that I'm married to a gorgeous blonde instead of a shallow bitch, I'm pretty much okay with them, thanks."
9) there was a scratch down the bridge of his nose—whether from her fingernails or his glasses she wasn't sure—and it was proof of how truly pathetic she was that her first impulse was to reach out and touch it, soothe the hurt she had inflicted. The urge was quickly checked, however, when she saw the icy look in his crystal blue eyes.
And this even more so. Painful. Jackie's pain is so evident - as is Steven's. You convey these emotions so well.
10) She needed a wallowing day as much as her friend did now.
The wounds are so fresh. (
11) Hyde's footsteps echoed hollowly as he descended the stone steps into the empty basement.
I love how you express his feelings through the description of his "hollow" footsteps.
12) To hell with that. He had never asked to be her hero, had never sought it, had freakin' told her he wasn't one. But that was Jackie. She never listened. She always had to see things with her deluded rose-colored glasses.
And this is exactly how Jackie's behavior in those last few S7 eps had made Hyde feel. Her regressive push for him to marry her probably made him question if she even knew him at all - if she'd paid attention during those three years they were together to what he was trying to tell/teach her about himself. This was one of the major character!failures of S7, and you address it nicely here.
13) Jackie, with her blue-green eyes that challenged him, and her tears that threatened him, and her stupid box that reminded him she wasn't the shallow bitch he told himself daily she was.
He needed her to be that one-dimensional caricature of herself. When he thought of her that way, it made the longing for her go away. Mostly.
I love this part of the narrative. You choose such powerful words, and we can really feel the anguished grief Hyde is feeling.
14) And then he had pictured her, crying her eyes out over old pictures of them and writing him nasty letters that were much more about heartbreak than anger. He had envisioned her watching Love Story in those old flannel pajamas he had pretended to hate but really found so cozy, especially when she curled up next to him and he could feel her heart beating steady and strong. He imagined her burning his picture as he had encouraged Donna to do with Eric's. As if he had been there himself, he could see her going through all her stages of grief and then deciding she was over him, that she had never really loved him in the first place.
Just like he had never loved her. Yeah. Right.
Heart-breaking and clever. Hyde thinks about how Jackie used that box to get over him, but it also causes him to remember how it was when they were together. Again, the conflict - depicting (at least) two emotions at once. This is particularly touching: "He had envisioned her watching Love Story in those old flannel pajamas he had pretended to hate but really found so cozy,especially when she curled up next to him and he could feel her heart beating steady and strong."
15) But there was a world of difference in that word "pretending." He wished he could pass over to the actual not caring now.
This is both funny and sad.
16) The photo: Jackie was looking up at him with delight and rapture and love... and then watched as half of the photo shriveled and blackened.
That he burns *his* half of the photo speaks volumes. "...[S]hriveled and blackened" - it's not her he hates but himself.
17) Then he gazed once more at Jackie's happy face, now staring adoringly at blank space. Someone else would come along and fill that emptiness soon enough, he was sure. Someone more worthy, ready to be the Prince Charming Jackie needed. And Hyde was okay with that. Mostly.
This ending is just a killer. So moving (as much of your T7S work is). The problem isn't that Hyde doesn't love Jackie ('cause he does, obviously), but the trust was broken between them. Such a great reflection of how our trust was broken by the show. This story works on many levels - including a metatextual one.
| anonymous jane chapter 1 . 6/12/2010
that was beautiful
| Syntyche chapter 1 . 1/25/2010
(sob). Stop writing stories that I read when I should be working! lol. Seriously, though, another excellent job, and it was especially poingnant when Hyde burned his half of the photo in the end. thanks for posting!
| Lauren chapter 1 . 2/14/2009
This is one of my favourite fanfics, it is so beautifully, beautifully written.
| Willofthewisp chapter 1 . 1/19/2009
Oh, how horrible...not your writing or your storytelling, just the general situation. I was cheering for Jackie, though, summoning up the strength to go and make a friend feel better when she herself was so miserable and then standing up to Hyde.
"Heaven forbid you actually be held accountable for something in your life, Steven Hyde. You always have an excuse, don't you? If it's not the government, then it's Michael's fault, or alcohol, or whatever. I'm sure your next argument is it's my fault you were drunk in the first place, and if that is it, you can spare me. I'm through with letting you slide; you make your own choices, you can deal with your own consequences."
That especially had me going and made me remember what the writers did to his characters. In the earlier episodes, he cared about people. He got that job at the Photo Hut just to help Red and Kitty in trying times. He took Jackie to prom, etc. Your writing has a beautiful tragedy to it that makes me long for better times, like what Jackie and Hyde are doing.
| Miss Lavender Sky chapter 1 . 8/28/2008
Ah, I loved it! I want Jackie and Hyde together!
| TheMusicLives chapter 1 . 1/4/2008
This must be the second time I've read this, but it still makes my eyes well up. I love it. This was a great bit of closure that our two characters so badly needed. Dumb writers couldn't even give them that.
Thanks for writing this... definitely favorites material.
| Starlight77 chapter 1 . 6/21/2007
Oh my gosh, I absolutely adore this. Your characterizations of the two were brilliant. I love your diction choices. And the repetitive "Mostly" really got to me as did Jackie's words of "You used to be my knight in shining armor."
Thanks so much for sharing!
| RegardstoBroadway chapter 1 . 4/14/2007
Oh, my gosh, that was amazing and heartbreaking, and just so what we wanted to have happen between them. The thing that was so wrong with season 8, other then the havoc caused by Sam, was that we never got to see this... The aftermath.
They never argued about Sam, they never even referred to their relationship before Sam showed up, and they definitely never had Jackie slap him the way he deserved.
| Golden Doodle chapter 1 . 1/3/2007
good job. i liked it.