|Reviews for Not Yet Finished|
| Bonsoir chapter 17 . 7/23/2013
Pent and Louise are so cute ahh.
[Farina scowled to see him looking her over. "My eyes are up here," she snapped] YEAH HECTOR.
["It looks pretty, Della," Kent told her.] HEEHEE KENT.
["And it feels good! Now I can dance with anyone I'd like to, without always thinking of somebody else!"] He's secretly a dork.
["Silly Jaffar…were you afraid to tell me? Assassins aren't supposed to be afraid!"] WHY IS THIS SO CUTE.
OMG Wallace dancing with Florina. No. Don't make me write it. BUT IT WOULD BE SO CUTE AHHHHHHHH screams.
[If I had money…I wouldn't have anything to fear.] His realizations about Farina are actually pretty well-done here. He isn't getting super sappy but he's realizing that she's, well, HUMAN. And that he thinks she's cute and asks her to dance only to be told NO WHY WOULD I WANT THAT is just too funny. Poor Hector.
["He looks at her the same way you look at me."] That seems a bit fast even for Hector though! HAHA.
["It is."] SYKE.
Poor Fiora though.
Wow did I finish this thing again? It took forever. But I am done. And you are free of NYF reviews for another ten years HOW DOES THAT MAKE YOU FEEL?
| Bonsoir chapter 16 . 7/23/2013
[Wallace laughed. "Perhaps we could find a way to make you like your title?"] Aw yeah. We know this can work, huh? ;)
That said, I love how she reaches out to trip him so that he'll sleep next to her. So corny but I CAN'T HELP IT.
["Well, what did you expect me to do? Keep it a secret?"] SAIN IS SO GREAT.
I bet you're about ready to slap me. Fear not, one more chapter and then I'm done!
| Bonsoir chapter 15 . 7/23/2013
["So…are we…still friends?" Lyn asked hesitantly.] He totally let her off easily and she was too dramatic. Still, I don't think Hector can stay angry at his close friends for long, even though he'll probably be upset about it in private for a long time to come. Poor guy.
| Bonsoir chapter 14 . 7/23/2013
[This will all work out well."] Poor freaking Hector. He's gotta be so conflicted.
[ "I face the wrath of Lord Hector, Lord Uther, doubtless Lord Eliwood concerned for his friend, Marquess Caelin—"] I totally never noticed that Uther was mentioned in this story until the last chapter. The ghost of Lord Uther will get Kent since he's, well, dead.
["What, you mean besides nearly killing yourself a thousand times and being no use at all and constantly bothering me about your pay and arguing with the other soldiers and causing disruptions in camp?"] FINALLY. FARINA. I love her so much sob. Nooo Farina was useful she'll be so sad to hear she wasn't useful NOW SHE WILL HAVE TO PROVE HERSELF AGAIN HECTOR.
[Farina's eyes blazed with fury and she raised a hand to smack Hector, but he grabbed her wrist and prevented it.] HOT.
["Elimine's name…I hate that woman! A curse upon her and all her bumbling sisters!"] Haha I wouldn't call that hatred, Hector. ;)
Also I love how Matthew's like OH GOOD CAUSE THEY'RE HERE. GREAT TIMING.
| Bonsoir chapter 13 . 7/23/2013
[I'd rather die of boredom than make myself sick from overworking.] Farina's total opposite. LMAO.
["Have you forgotten that you are engaged to Lord Hector?" cried Kent.] At least Kent hasn't forgotten this very vital thing. It seems Lyn makes herself forget it because it sucks but Kent can't stop thinking about it.
Also I still think the "in the event" deal was PRETTY DARN CLEVER.
| Bonsoir chapter 12 . 7/23/2013
Mama's boy Eliwood. So. Perfect. Also Lyn should feel super bad for like, practically ruining Hector's life without even telling him. The poor guy. All this time he's known about Kent and it's got to be driving him mad but Lyn mostly just goofs off with Kent and gives no thought to anyone else.
Even though I sound like an idiot I'm kinda glad; it shows she's a little selfish and/or at least human. Still...
| Bonsoir chapter 11 . 7/23/2013
[Serra wants to marry me] POOR HECTOR.
[Hector shuddered. "Farina…if Florina is annoying, then there is no word to describe Farina."] HARSH. But at least Farina is finally mentioned. I mean, by Hector. If she was around more though, I have the feeling that Lyn would be pushing her at Hector in the hopes that he'd forget about her and go for Farina instead. This story is SO CONVOLUTED.
[treasuring a memory of you but never wanting more.] lies. HAHAHA. Pun.
I STILL FEEL BAD FOR HECTOR THOUGH. The guy like never catches a break. EVER.
| Bonsoir chapter 10 . 7/23/2013
[and then Kent would be all 'Milady, this is dishonorable'!" Sain pranced around in a circle, imitating Kent.] The best mental image to ever arrive in my mind. Seriously.
Anyway ah, I remember the fluffy cute scenes here. Such fun times, eh? I think so. This Lyn feels a little closer to the truth, though it's easy to imagine she'd really regret hurting Hector later. She ought to feel guilty sooner rather than later, though. Poor Hector.
I admit when I first read this I sort of shrugged at his pain but now I feel pretty bad for him.
| Bonsoir chapter 9 . 7/23/2013
["THREE DAYS, Kent!" she exclaimed, reminding him.] This still cracks me up. I can totally picture her saying that.
Also cute is which bed is nearest? Hah.
I like that Hector has a Feels Explosion in this chapter, too. Poor guy, he really struggles, thinks he's falling in love with Lyn and she might have to marry his BFF and ugh. Sucks to be Hector. At this point in the story I feel like Hector definitely has it the worst.
(But it's half his own fault for being so dumb that he forgot about Farina. And she's still around. She TOTALLY could have intercepted Vaida!)
| Bonsoir chapter 8 . 7/23/2013
["Touchy," Sain sniffed, turning his horse around to find someone in a friendlier mood to ride beside.] Okay this is stupid of me to say BUT I like this because I think it's pretty interesting that Sain would be like EFF U KENT and go hang out with someone who wasn't a sourpuss sometimes. I can just bet that Kent in a sour mood would be whoa-cray.
[When that Farina laughs, she is just as beautiful as Florina!] Sain cracks me up. I always imagine that Farina has this really loud obnoxious kind of laugh, but you know Sain; all ladies are lovely in their own way and any woman laughing is probably ESPECIALLY beautiful.
["I won't leave you. But…please…don't leave me."] Still a good line. Kind of romantic too, hm?
I like that Florina gets to help Lyn, too. GO FLORINA! She has such little role in the story, it's nice to see her get some kind of role. (Secret: I don't mind that she doesn't have a main role. But it's nice that she gets small parts I guess!)
| Bonsoir chapter 7 . 7/23/2013
["Please smile, milady. There are many people out there who cannot smile if you cannot."] This is seriously one of the most profound things Sain says this entire story.
I should probably have more to say about this story but I'm a loser. I think it's interesting you picked that the journey was about three weeks back to land, though. ;)
| Bonsoir chapter 6 . 7/23/2013
["Kent, you can cry. I won't make fun of you, either…well, I'll try my best not to."] This is still funny as heck.
[His face softened. "Although I suppose 'friend' isn't the term to use for you, anymore?"] Hector: secretly a romantic.
[Hector's face slowly fell. "So…I'm too late."] The thing that's funny about this is...Hector could just pay Farina to intercept those papers with an official letter from him. HAHAHAHA.
Speaking of Farina, she doesn't appear early enough in this story considering how important she is later; she totally should have shown up just to be an annoyance or something. Or to give Hector conflicting feelings; that's always fun. I mean...sorry Hector.
I thought the scene in the ship's room would be really silly but it wasn't as bad as I thought. I feel like the Lyn in this story, though, feels close enough to Kent to share her fears and that doesn't match up with a lot of things. Hmm.
| Bonsoir chapter 5 . 7/23/2013
["Dude, I'm…well, I'm the tactician!"] Truer words were NEVER spoken.
[But I shouldn't be so worked up, because I knew I never had a chance from the start.] Okay I know you will tell me that I am dumb but I want to say how good this line is, not because it's dramatically dorky but because it's interesting. Kent's getting jealous and worked up over other people liking Lyn/Lyn liking other people and he knows it's illogical but he still feels that way. Love it. This is kind of what drew me to this pairing to begin with, because you managed to make Kent into a person and not a robot.
[He wouldn't let her see him…but he had to be there, to make sure she was okay.] This now strikes me as almost creepy. Good thing he means well. But it's still sad.
["Bandit attack!" yelled Serra, running by.] I totally picture her waving a banner.
[With that he sank to the ground, miserably clutching his heart.] As dramatic as this line is? It's still sad as hell. Also Lyn just kissing Hector like that and him being like ?!WHAT EVEN?! is too funny. But also kind of sad. I liked his reaction to it-like he didn't expect it at all.
| Bonsoir chapter 4 . 7/23/2013
[ "She thought the world of you. She thought you were brave, and wise, and the most wonderful person."] I think the relationship between Lyn and Ninian is understated a lot but I do like that Lyn legitimately misses Ninian here.
It's so weird that Hector is trying to arrange a relationship for Eliwood but not for himself. I think I understand why (because he doesn't want Eliwood to have to date around because it'd just be miserable)(also Hector isn't as selfish as he seems) but still. Odd.
["Tell me why you're doing this to me."] This is so sad. But I still like this line.
[She hadn't wanted the truth.] This is a pretty novel concept-that Lyn would actually want lied to.
| Bonsoir chapter 3 . 7/23/2013
I think the thing I like about this story is mostly that like, you don't pretend everything ended with Nergal's defeat and now suddenly because Nergal is dead and the dragon is dead that everything is one-hundred percent hunky-dory and perfect.
Despite all the silly things in this story (like the attack names and stuff), that helps keep it grounded in a reality of some kind, which makes it easy to enjoy despite the things that mark its age (and yours) at the time of its writing.
I think I agree with you that if you were to rewrite this, it would need some work in regards to Lyn. When I first read it, I felt that a lot of the silly stuff in the story made it easier to believe that Lyn would do something dumb like try to get Hector to marry her, but after reading Still Ongoing, it makes it harder to believe.
I think the reason is mostly that she doesn't really have a reason to HAVE to marry anyone. In fact, even though you don't give a damn (and I probably don't either), it's hard to figure out how a redo of this might even WORK. I guess you could go with Marcus suggesting that Eliwood marry Lyn, and maybe even Oswin suggesting that Hector marry her; in the end both Eliwood and Hector will have to get married and I think at this point, because Hector's not deeply in love with anyone (in fact, iirc, Farina hardly shows up this entire story-but more about that later) it might be easy for him to be persuaded to WANT to marry Lyn. Even if he's not super in love with her, he does care about her, and he's Hector-he'd rather marry someone he knows than a stranger.
That's really the only way I can think to spin it. Then Lyn might think that it's a good idea, or at least be persuaded herself to think on it/consider marrying Hector. At the same time, I think she'd also have to be in the mindset that she wants to stay in Caelin for a while longer, yet, or maybe she's even considering taking it over at her grandfather's previous urging.
That could be cool too, because then marrying Hector means HE has to take care of it (huehuehue) and she'll have a lot fewer worries. That could segway into Still Ongoing fairly easily, too. But damn, that would be too much work, wouldn't it? Geesh. And putting Kent in the middle of that. As it is it's kind of conflicting regarding Kent; she loves him but can't be with him and she never really justifies why beyond "he's beneath me."
I really do like Sain in this story. He's always so funny. And dramatic. It's cool to see how he sort-of matures as time passes, though. (And that's a big "sort of.") Also Della, always a delight.