|Reviews for Well No One Was Watching|
| Guest chapter 6 . 8/17/2014
Um, you might want to have someone read over that chapter for grammatical errors. You said threw instead of through, the instead of that and for get instead of forget. Sorry. This not meant to flame such a good story.
| sneaky lunitic spy chapter 29 . 9/29/2013
I started this and I was all Meh... then I was all like OHMEGOSH THIS IS AMAZINGLY AWESOME! Ilove it
| Ashy chapter 8 . 8/18/2013
Okay, I am very very sorry to flame you. However, you are incorrectly using the word "threw". The word you want to use is "through". Threw is the past tense of throw, like to throw a ball to someone. Through is used for example when working through your grammar issues. I have also seen you drop letters and mix various words up. The threw thing is by far your most common mistake, that I have seen anyway. Sorry for the flame. It was getting on my nerves but since you have not updated in several years, I do not think you will fix these mistakes. You also listed yourself as a USA citizen.
| technoWriter15 chapter 29 . 9/8/2012
| technoWriter15 chapter 1 . 8/2/2012
| Joleigh13 chapter 29 . 5/29/2012
The ending was a bit abrupt...I guess I expected something bigger but the story was really good!
| LadyFreak chapter 29 . 5/17/2012
Amazing story. I loved the strong yet weak Harry. Very well done. In need of some grammar checking (you use 'are' in place of 'our' and threw out in place of throughout... just fyi) I noticed you did a sequel but it is yet unfinished. I really hope you come back and complete it. THanks for sharing!
| J. R. Quinnet chapter 29 . 5/16/2012
You need a beta.
| kandaz chapter 20 . 4/15/2012
A good story, but there are a lot of misspelled and incorrect words.
| Marie Serohs chapter 29 . 8/13/2011
I like your story. Though spelling mistakes and wrong words were a bit hard to stomach. Some examples not necessarily from this chapter:
'sward' instead of 'sword'
'ruff' instead of 'rough'
'are' instead of 'our' (this was common)
I'm pretty sure I saw 'choose' instead of 'chose'
and randomly 'a', especially like "I a want..."
I look forward to reading the sequel though.
| A dedicated severitus reader chapter 27 . 7/31/2011
I've really loved the story up to this point. Your voice is well developed in the third person point of view. Your plot is interesting as well. Aside from the small grammatical errors, it has been a joy reading this. There are a few things that a great beta could improve but the basic and critical plots are all there and developed.
One of the things I learned in school was to vary sentence structure. For example, don't start all sentences with "Once I". Doing this makes reading it very boring. Writing from a characters POV does not mean reporting actions either. In this chapter you could use this chance to get Draco and Harry's opinions. If this is how you use the first person, I would suggest not doing it.
| Lexi0521 chapter 29 . 5/20/2011
Absolutely FABULOUS! I loved how you took these characters through the journey and kept close to cannon but allowed them to see their choices and follow through!
Thank you for sharing your gifted talents!
| archival chapter 29 . 3/13/2011
Just thought I'd stop by to say that I've enjoyed reading this story. I like how you kept up a strong plot line along with the angst. Yes, the spelling and punctuation were distracting, but I'd still rather read a good story with those errors than a bad one without.
| naeo chapter 12 . 11/17/2010
sorry again, but 'threw' is used when something is thrown in past tense, 'through' is when something passes through or looks through something. am i helping at all with all this, or am i just being annoying?
| naeo chapter 11 . 11/17/2010
wonderful story, i love the plot line and all. very original and creative with the right balance of angst and hope with in. one thing I would like to point out though is your grammar. in many instances you are using words in both a correct and very incorrect fashion. normally i don't write a review to let the author know this, but seeing as you made these grammatical mistakes more than once, i would like to help correct you so that your writing can only improve. please understand that I am not trying to put you down by correcting these mistakes for you, normally i wouldn't take the time, but you show promise as a writer.
you continuously make the mistake of using "are" for "our." for example:
"Alright now for are final dual of the day..." the 'are' should be an 'our' instead.
"Be that as it may Tonks, there is nothing wrong about are students..." again, the 'are for 'our'
"We lost are innocents..." again the 'are' for 'our' and you used the wrong word for innocence.
something else i noticed you doing is that you spell then as than; example:
""Talk than" Harry responded..." the 'than' should be 'then'
"But than why is my father, my whole family serving him..." again, the 'than' for 'then'
one last thing that I would like to bring to your attention is how you spelt 'unless':
""Go ahead; innless you missed that step in your development." He said looking around the tower..." Im not sure if this was just a simple mistake as it only caught my eye once, but i still wanted to bring it to your attention.
i hope i helped in some way with this advice. please keep in mind though that these were only some of the mistakes I saw repeated in this chapter alone. its really not that big of a deal, but i thought that from one person who respects good writing to another that you would appreciate the help as i would (also try to keep in mind your punctuation, such as commas and the likes). anyway, i enjoyed the read, and I will continue reading and unless something proves to be really off in later chapters then I will leave you alone with my crazy nitpicking XD
thank you so much for the wonderful read! FAVED STORY!
(and sorry about my capitalization in this review, it seems almost hypocritical of me to be writing a review that corrects your grammar when mine is so off, but i just don't capitalize unless for a story or for something of importance; i'm just to lazy :P)