|Reviews for Killing Me Softly|
| KnotofRibbon chapter 2 . 10/20/2009
I've really enjoyed this so far. It's very cool seeing their inner thoughts and I love the way you've interpreted them. You've given some depth to their characters, made real points about the goings of life, and did so in a creative way. So, thank you!
I'll look forward to the next chapter. : )
| Nautica Dawn chapter 2 . 7/6/2007
Interesting concept. I hope you continue.
| Twilight Memories chapter 2 . 7/5/2006
Uwa! I am bad... I am bad... I didn't realize that there was a second chapter... Late review! ;_;
Erm... anyway... As said before, truly beautiful and truly deep! I'm still in love with this story.
| Boko the Chocobo chapter 2 . 6/16/2006
. . . . .. . . would it kill you to make a normal story?
| Boko the Chocobo chapter 1 . 6/16/2006
. . . . . that was too deep it made me very confused
| Mandaa chapter 2 . 12/22/2005
wow! good job there! Very descriptive! I love it! Hey, will you read mine too?
| Javer chapter 1 . 12/21/2005
Okay. As Twilight Memories commented, well-written and packed with emotion. But! There's a major problem here that could potentially foul up the whole thing. That problem is with your formatting.
You need to separate things more clearly. First off, I need to be able to tell instantly where the A/N ends and the actual story begins. Maybe put an extra couple of blank lines as a border between the two, or better yet, a row of periods or dashes or something. Your pick, just make it easier to see. But that's the lesser half. Mainly, you need to *break up your paragraphs*. For two reasons.
One. Nobody likes having to squint to read a Great Wall of Text. Eventually you just keep reading the same line over and over because you can't find the next one, if that makes any sense, which it doesn't. Nonetheless! The rule of thumb for avoiding this is simple: no more than four lines per paragraph. (That's on mind, not Word or Appleworks or whatever you wrote this on.)
Two. Drama and romance fics just don't work without a lot of emotion compressed into small, meaningful lines. Breaking up your paragraphs will allow you to draw more attention to the most important lines, like so:
See, I could go into a big major rant here about how the sky is blue on occasion and the grass is green on occasion and I never quite understood that flick Minority Report or why they bothered casting Weena Mercatur as the Hopping Woman in that show Freakazoid when no hopping person, woman or otherwise, ever appeared, but none of it would attract as much attention
as these lonely seven words here. Capiesce?
So, that's your major issue here. There are a few others into which I won't go into detail - like, considering the possibility that some people won't know who the hell Eeyore is or what Rai Don is or what SP stands for - so PM me if you want me to continue whining.
I hope this problem and others clear up before the next chapter. I was in a perfectly good mood when I clicked this link, and now I'm all bummed out. It's easy to forget how emo BlackRose can be.
| Twilight Memories chapter 1 . 12/21/2005
Wow.. that went in deep. Made me think that one of those AIs could be pondering all of this - going into the detail this is in. o.o Yeesh this was an awesomely written fic. BlackRose doesn't seem OOC. She just seems to be.. put into a more.. harsh situation, i suppose. Most Kite/BlackRose fics that i've read are more... fluffy. But i like this style you have written in. Don't come across these very often.