great chapter

THIS FANFIC WAS AMAZING.

"'Speaking of that, do you know where your brother is right now?'

Harry's eyes widened, and he leaped to his feet. A laugh came through the window, though, and made him spin around in relief. 'There,' he said. 'He's outside, with Dad.'

'You should go and check on him,' said Lily. 'Always check on him first, Harry, and you'll be doing your duty. You don't know what condition he's in, wounded or fine. Or he might be dead, and one of the Death Eaters might be imitating his voice with a spell, and then you'll have failed.'

Panic flashed in Harry's eyes..."

I'm sorry, WHAT? "And then you'll have failed"? What if Death Eaters killed Connor, and Harry wasn't even there, and didn't KNOW that Connor was dead? Would he still have "failed"? If Harry isn't there to protect Connor, and even if he is, but there's no way to protect his brother, then he wouldn't have "failed." If he isn't able to do something to protect his brother, then it's NOT HIS FAULT if Connor is injured or killed.

Jesus, Lily, just let me punch you.

For some reason, I started laughing when I reached "Our Lady of Pain".

“Harry, what have I told you about conserving your strength?” she asked.

“That I should do it.” His younger self-looked up at his mother, and Harry was startled. He had not thought his face would look like that. Closed in concentration, he’d expected, but there was an underlying tension to the expression that made him look as if he might burst out in rebellious defiance. *Well, I hadn't been under the phoenix web for long then,* Harry reasoned. *I probably still had some thoughts of my own close to the surface.*

“Yes, and what else?” Lily prompted.

“That I should decide what’s necessary and what’s not," said the younger Harry. He looked at he huge book lying on the floor. “And find the best way to do things," he added, with a sudden weight of inspiration. “Always use what’s around me to my benefit.”

He held out a hand, and struggled for a moment. His magic was no longer as great as it had been when he was younger, Harry decided while he watched, because so much of it had gone tame under the web. But it was great enough to lift the book in the air, wobbling, and return it to its place on the shelf.

Lily smiled at him and stroked his hair. “Good," she whispered. “That’s good, Harry. When you levitate an object over an enemy’s head and then drop it, that will serve your brother. And you love your brother, don’t you?Harry winced as he watched his seven-year-old self take a tumble from a large rock next to the house in Godric’s Hollow. He’d watched several more scenes out of his past, with minor mistakes about himself and the world around him and times that he’d become impatient with Connor or James, but none with the devastating impact of the first image. He had known this one would probably be coming, though, as his mind came alive with memories or things Lily had actually said to him, lessons she’d stated outright.

Harry-the-younger didn't cry; by then, he’d already learned to cast mild hexes in himself and endure pain under a certain threshold, which this easily was. He just blinked and picked himself up, watching the large gash in his knee pool with blood. He didn't know a healing spell, though, and so he did go to find Lily, once he’d checked that Connor and James were flying a kite in the yard and wouldn't see him.

Lily saw him and came over at once, kneeling and extending her wand. A whispered,Integro,and the cut heeled. Harry watched her in wonder and silent delight. When his mother cured him like this, he imagined they had a bond, just as they did when she explained the vows he made to Connor to him, or when she impressed on him, again, the need for secrecy and for him to learn as much as he could, even when he was certain that he couldn't learn any more.

“Will I be able to perform healing spells someday?” he asked.

Lily sat back and looked up at him with large green eyes. “You will, Harry," she said gently. “Healing spells would aid the war effort. It's a great advantage to know how to cure yourself on the battlefield. But they're more powerful than the magic you're learning right now. It will take some time.”

Harry nodded. Them he thought about another thing. “Can I perform healing spells on my children someday?”

Lily's face changed so rapidly that Harry-the-elder winced right along with his younger self. He knew what was coming, and he suspected he knew why the Maze had wanted him to see it, and he was filled with and overwhelming, consuming sorrow, and he didn't know for certain whether it was for himself, or for the boy in the image, or for the woman who actually rose, and put her hand on his shoulder, and whispered what she did to him then.

“Harry, you’ll never have children.”

Harry-the-younger blinked at her. “Why not, Mum?” He rather thought he might want to have children, so that he could teach someone else all the things he was learning. Right now, he had no one to teach, because he had to keep his skill secret, and Lily already knew all his spells and tricks.

Lily gently smoothed his hair. “Because children take time,” she said. “They take almost all your time when they're little, and they would be little for several years. Do you remember being little for several years?”

“Some of it," said Harry.

Lily nodded. “And you would have to devote all your time to them, and to your spouse or partner.” She paused, waiting for him to reach the natural conclusion.

Harry could, of course. His vows sang in his head, and he gasped. “I wouldn't have any time for Connor!”

“Of course you wouldn't," Lily whispered. “And it wouldn't be fair to your spouse or partner, would it? Just like it wouldn't be fair to your father if I had someone to serve like you have Connor, and I spent all my time away from him.”

Harry nodded, soberly, understanding now. “Connor has to come first,” he said. “To be his brother and his friend and his guardian. To never let anyone else know that I’m so close to him.” It was permissible for him to only say parts of his vows sometimes, in order to make a point, since he knew them so well in their original form.

“Exactly," Lily whispered back. “So it wouldn't be fair to anyone. You couldn't spend time away from Connor, and your husband or wife would want to know why you were so close to him, and you'd have to break your vow to tell them.”

Harry nodded. “Besides," he said, wondering why he hadn't thought about this before, “I'll probably die protecting Connor, so there wouldn't be any time for children, because I'd be too young to have ...WHAT?

Lily is as bad as Umbridge, in my eyes. She’s throwing away her older son’s life in favor of her younger. That's just not RIGHT. She’s telling Harry that his life belongs to Connor, and that Harry has to spend all of his time sacrificing himself for Connor.

She didn't even bother trying to teach Connor the things he would need to know to defeat Voldemort. It could have been her to protect Connor, or James, or Remus, or Sirius, or Dumbledore. Not a young boy who deserves a childhood, a youth, filled with fun instead of sacrifices.

Who knows how long Harry’s been hearing those vows, and he was under the phoenix web from age four to thirteen. That’s NINE YEARS. Nine years during which all he can think about is Connor. Nine years during which he thinks that his own life is worthless. Nine years during which he thinks that Connor’s is the only life that actually matters, that actually has worth. Nine years during which he’s been told that he can never have a life of his own. Nine years during which he’s been told he can never spend even a second away from Connor because that would "go against his vows."

Even now, without the phoenix web, he still thinks that his life is worth less than others’. He doesn't care about his own free will, as long as he accepts others’.

This is Lily’s fault. Lily is evil. I REALLY want to punch her. Or worse.

That last review was meant for THIS chapter
Oops

The end of this chapter made me so happy

Wow, your story is... Magic. Thanks you!

I liked this so much . Honestly why have l not found it earlier. I actually spent 11 hours continuously reading this.
Your Harry is so engaging. I want to coddle him and slip him away from this world and at the same time shake him and tell him how wrong he is in matters of his blood family and Dumbeldore.
I fully support Snape's endeavor for justice even if Harry is not understanding this.
But my personal pleasure has been Draco in this story. He is so downright aborable and supporting and infruiting and irresistible etc etc etc. I could not stop grinning in the whole chapter where they agreed for a relationship.
And all of Harry's allies are so wonderful and l think Pansy is too dejected of her Father's death right now but she see the soon.

The only thing which sometime bother me in this story is lack of romance. I know that Harry has been trained to deny this type of comfort and pleasure but it really takes away intrest some time when there is no physical touches ( read it kisses) between them. Don't think l want fluff . Fluff makes me gag, l m more accustomed to angst but lack of this really bothered me.

Do you realise that your fanfics are the length of a novel? It’s wicked reading and I'm so excited reading this. I like how actions in earlier books ripple into later ones like the unicorns last chapter. It is really rare for a ‘hero’ to have a dedicated parental figure (Snape), I’m a little saddened by his copping measures have blinded him but it works so well within the story world. This is a creadit to you as a writer.
All praises to you because it took me till now to realise each ‘year’ was book length and I’ve been immersed for days. There is so much going on.

I really should have reviewed more often while reading this series, but I've simply been so caught up in getting to the next chapter that I never paused to. I regret that now, and I fully intend to go back and pick out my favorite chapters to review. Maybe not all at once- because I still want to keep reading- but it is certainly a goal of mine. However, I felt that I absolutely had to pause here and leave a review.

I am actually in tears right now. I've always been a pretty emotionally-involved person when it comes to the stories I read, or the shows/movies I watch, but I've recently grown to have better control over it and I find myself crying less often. This series is simply a masterpiece. It deserves to be higher up in favorites and reviews than it is. I find myself holding my breath each chapter; trying to piece together clues and foresee future events. I'm intensely invested in each decision a character makes, but I'm on no one's side as much as I am on Harry's.

The last few chapters have been physically painful to me, because they are just that amazing. The struggle Harry is in the midst in is astonishing. Especially since I can't just point a finger at someone and say "They're doing the right thing." Part of me wants justice for Harry just like the people around him, but a large part of me also understands the reasons behind Harry's decision of mercy. He can look beyond the things done to him and see that, perhaps, Dumbledore and Lily are victims of the world too. I'm stuck in this tug-of-war of wanting to see them pay for what they've done, but also recalling that the line between revenge and justice is very fine; especially when it's personal.

And I find myself as exhausted as Draco must feel. Harry never does get a break. Everyone around him treads on his wishes just a little bit. Oh, sure, Harry needs to heal and justice needs to be dealt, but he's right when he says Snape is too fixated on the past. I can see the moments when Harry needs to be a bit more selfish than he is being, but then that's not what he wants to do. Simply "leaving it alone" will only hurt him in the long run, but the people around him don't seem to see that he's moving past that, even little by little. When McGonagall and Connor went to Snape I understood their motives, but also felt so tired. Of course it's for Harry's sake, but they knew full well that he's in a delicate spot and they actively ignored the one thing they knew he DID NOT want messed with at the moment.

It's impossible to see the "best" course here; only the inevitable collision at the end.

This series aches to read, but I just can't put it down. I'm too invested in the world you've crafted. I want to see what happens next. No, even more than that, I want to follow Harry's footsteps as he overcomes each next trial and eventually- hopefully- finds that moment of rest he so desperately needs.

Perhaps the best way I can phrase it is as such: I have spent most of my time on this fandom searching for a fic that presents a darker HP story, with that touch of world-changing powerful Harry. I find so many that turn back time. I find many that turn Voldemort "Light" and Dumbledore "Dark". I find many that create a wrong-BWL and remove Harry from manipulating influences, but do so by shading him bitter and distant. I've read many that resolve things with two school years. For all that they are still wonderful stories, they do not craft their narrative with such careful detail as you do. Here I see a Harry that, yes, grew up far to fast, but still shows in the little things that he is still only fifteen. He dances in politics and faces down Dark Lords, but he struggles with intense emotions and clings to the times he is handed unconditional love. He has flaws not in the sense of a weakness of power, but those of emotion. For all that he has grown, for all that he understands there is no shame in screaming under the Cruciatus, he struggles to see there is no shame in tears. I think what draws me in the most is that, no matter his power and choices, he is, above all, relatable. Perhaps I cannot understand the weight of the tasks he chooses to foist upon himself- after all, I have never been asked if I would attempt to free an entire race from their bonds- but I can relate to the emotions he displays. The isolation he feels at times, wonder at unconditional love, fear in the face of appearing weak, the exhaustion that comes with distrust, and so on.

If anyone ever asks me what else I could think the Harry Potter series could have been, I will unhesitatingly direct then to Saving Connor. This series will always be among the most favored and cherished of any HP fanfictions I have ever and will ever read.

WHY DID YOU KILL MY FAVORITE OC EVER

FINNALY DRACO

Interesting chapter

oh my god YES