Reviews for KotOR: Marisu Saves The Day!
Partsu chapter 1 . 4/29/2015
I can't continue, please go without me! ow my stomach is bleeding from laughing too much...
Gray Shadow chapter 1 . 3/14/2013
I can't hear Carth's voice at all...I'm hearing some sort of deep baritone instead! Ha! I can't even recognize the guy! GJ!
machievelli chapter 1 . 7/3/2012
Supposed to have been posted 15 October 2011, at and the Coruscant Entertainment Center in my The Critic's Two Cents. but I had problems with my computer, and flaked on attaching these reviews to the original story threads for the last year. Everyone say; 'Mach is a flake, Mach is a yo-yo'. Better yet (Waves hand) 'Mach is trying, but he's still a flake'.

Some of the work I read is what I consider professional class. These are marked as Picks of the Week. Go to to find the best of the week.

KOTOR on Endar Spire: The beginning with a twist.

For those who don't know the term Mary Sue is literal slang for a character in a series that outperforms all of the established characters and always knows more than they do. If you have read my Dxun memories, I was accused of creating one when my Exile lectures Revan (Who I had decided was a naval genius) on ground tactics. I didn't know what I expected with this title, and I would have been wrong to just say a 'Mary Sue'.

The character fits the name and characterization, coming across as a mixture of Lara Croft and a Valley girl. Upset because Trask is too busy gaping at her rather than moving the story along; killing a number of Sith with only one shot, and saving the female Jedi is only the start. I didn't have time to read the other segments but with this as a start, you have some fun time ahead! I especially enjoyed Bastila becoming Bitchila.

Pick of the Week
I redact chapter 1 . 11/29/2009
I redact my prior statement. Upon further reading and analyzing I've come to the conclusion that this is a decently written parody. But as far as "fan-fic" parodies go, it could use a bit of work. The way that it's written makes it seem like it's just terrible fan-fic. If you were able to differentiate yourself from the bottom of the worst, it would hold much better. The tone is that of a junior high star wars nerd, tone is everything. If you elevate the tone and retain the audacious name scheme and awkward descriptions, then the parody may ring much truer.
just horrible chapter 1 . 11/29/2009
there's no redeemable quality to this. I might suggest playing the game, learning to spell, learning the mythos and learning basic writing skills.
LostThyme chapter 1 . 7/1/2009
You seriously need to write more of this. This is one of the few fanfictions I've gone back to read more than once.
GeekGirl2 chapter 3 . 6/29/2009
Y'know, this story is *ahem* 'good' enough that it got honored on in their Parody Sue category. ;) I was laughing my head off the whole way. :)

Why are you not continuing it? ;) If the comedy can be kept up (if you haven't, get the Bastila on Korriban mod, there's a TON of more funny stuff right in game with that), it'd be great! :D
Illyria's Acolyte chapter 3 . 3/9/2009
My hat goes off to your wonderfully executed Parody Sue. Many Lulz were had during the reading of this story. I would love to see this get updated if you have the time/energy to expand it into the entire KOTOR.
a firebug chapter 3 . 8/5/2008
This is a brilliant parody - I haven't laughed so hard for a long time. Especially at the "" paragraph breaks.
Somewhat Less Ultimate Aries chapter 1 . 8/1/2008
I understand that this is a parody, but 4'6"? These little girls actually think that's *natural* for an adult? To quote an author for Livejournal, sweet zombie Christ on a pogo stick, it's worse than I thought!
Star Platinum chapter 1 . 7/29/2008
LOL, great parody of the female Revan Sue fics.

But you better not bastardize HK-47, even if it is for parody's sake
The Lark chapter 3 . 7/28/2008
"A/N: It's AU,all right? AU!"

"Oh no, Revan was great. Apart from the whole Dark Side thing."

And all the characters hating on "Bitchila". This was great! Rock on!
Chasing Liquor chapter 2 . 6/7/2008
Some of this is spot-on and hilarious, though I don't think the Mary-Su writers despise Bastila THAT much. Very comical, though. Your scene break made me laugh aloud:


Entertaining stuff.
Nexus Prime chapter 3 . 5/2/2008

the random force-smash into the nearest wall was hilarious

and when she broke the light barrier, lol

of course, it does get a bit nauseating, but since it's the entire point of the story, it makes it funny. well done!
Nexus Prime chapter 1 . 5/2/2008

this is great

I like the part where the Sith commit elaborate ritual suicide instead of fighting the character. that was witty and awesome.

going to read the next chapter now.
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