|Reviews for Trespass|
| Rikka-tan chapter 3 . 2/19/2014
This is so interesting. It had me captivated the entire time I read this. I really love all of their budding relationship, all their interaction XD
I sincerely hope you will still continuing this *bow*
| valentina14 chapter 3 . 1/31/2014
ohmygod i LOVE this story. I really love the way this story changed my perspective about 'meh another high school story' but to mix it up with canon verse and i just love it
i know it has been very long since you last updated but... idk im just waiting for a miracle? loll its a great story :-)
| Nom de Plume chapter 3 . 11/19/2013
I would have NEVER guessed you came from the DBZ fandom AND that this was your first Naruto story if you hadn't specified that in the beginning.
The idea... the presentation... and the characterization (even in an AU environment)... I could just cry from the fact alone that this might never be updated. Ever.
To take on a feminist point of view was a very interesting route you took and something that I haven't thought about in the actual Naruto series but that may be because Kishimoto doesn't give much reason for the audience to think the females are oppressed, especially with a line-up of kick-arse kunoichi. Although I will concede that there are only a few competent females in the series compared to the male ratio so your 'exaggeration' of their situation could have been quite realistic if Kishimoto had decided to take on a more gritty social issue.
I love how you combined a normal high-school setting with the actual "canon-ish"-verse world of shinobi without making it seem distasteful and unoriginal. In fact, you meshed the seams so nicely that I would think the setting is absolutely normal if I did not bother to think how weird it is to have modern technology (and clothes like jeans...) in a Naruto-world setting. The only thing I wish you had explained more was why Sakura was placed in a normal school setting. Perhaps you had explained this in the beginning but I merely missed it so I am thinking the reason may be somewhere on the lines in keeping Sakura on the low radar due to the assassination attempts on her life? If people knew that any close association with Tsunade could have resulted in violence against the individual, I would think that Tsunade would not have risked in taking on an apprentice. Shizune is also still there with her, instead of going on to hiding but I will just justify that with the fact that it comes with being the leader's right-hand 'man' and she is more capable than Sakura in protecting herself. Don't get me wrong, all of what I just said doesn't detract from the story but I am just curious.
You had mentioned that you were a bit worried that the characterization would be off in an AU-setting but I think you pulled it off splendidly. You did both Sakura AND Sasuke's POV justice. The way you kept Sakura's girlish naivety and compassionate heart, while giving her more competence (at least mentally) than in the series and how you used these characteristics to draw Sasuke's attention without making it seem contrived. Although the kitchen scene where she had first alluded to Sasuke's family... I would think Sasuke would have immediately closed up and for the atmosphere to drop stone-cold (instead of for the atmosphere to remain quiet and relaxed), which would have been more realistic, but... ehh, nevermind, past is past. I also like how you played on Sasuke's darker attributes, how his mind is slightly poisoned with notions of power still and added to that, the Cursed Seal's voice... which is a new one but I'd like to speculate that the voice is actually Sasuke's- just amplified by his darker feelings and thoughts.
However, I will have to point out some things... for instance, Sakura's "normal" interaction with her mother at home. I love how they speak in code sometimes, but as for their normal, civilian conversations, it feels extremely... stilted. I know that it's mostly a facade but even for a 'fake' conversation, Sakura's lines seem very unnatural at (some) points. For instance, the 'But eww, I'm not looking forward to it.' If that was a part of Sakura's civilian (or kunoichi) persona then I would believe she would say something like this but she seems pretty level-headed, both as a fake civilian or kunoichi, so in my head as I was reading this, I couldn't imagine her saying that. And other times (like at the end of this chapter here) her actions and lines make her seem unstable (even for a teenager girl): first she's about to punch Sasuke's head in with a 'killer-fist' but in the next second, she's already smiling and thanking him for dropping her off at home. Be careful with that, I know you're trying to balance her "disguised" actions and her real actions but there are times like these where it slips up and makes it seem like she has schizophrenia.
Another thing was the bum-bum-bum, the kiss. Now, how you did it was very realistic. I think that's how their first "intimate" encounter would have gone except the build-up to that... I did not believe the feelings that led to it. In the beginning (what was it.. 2 or 3 days ago?), you had specified how she had never had true interaction with a male Konoha shinobi (at least not involving weapons) AND she's crazy wary of him (and still is, to a lesser extent sure, but still wary) so for her to just get in the moment like that? I would think she'd get nervous and jittery - however, you had managed to weave your words in a way that in their special 'world' in the window, time does, in fact, seem to get suspended and I can sort of believe that these are moments where people can forget who they are and get drawn up by their heightened feelings. But I will say that their reaction to it afterwards was very true to form. How they seemed to ignore it ever happened and then an awkward, heavy atmosphere seems to bloom - that was plausible.
ANYWAYS. Even after having said all that, this story still remains to be a gem. Your writing style and handling of this world and characters are no joke. Therefore, it is quite a shame that you might never return to this site to continue this.
| girl-in-glasses chapter 3 . 3/24/2013
This is nice! I hope you continue writing this one. I like how it's a Romeo-Juliet-ish fic, I just wish they don't die in the end. hahaha! More SasuSaku-ness! :D
| Higanbana.4 chapter 3 . 7/22/2012
Ever going to be continued?
| HxR chapter 1 . 5/8/2012
oh god i love this story. you needa update your other ones too, like predator and prey. i swear thats my favorite dbz fanfic, wicked good. i hope you're not dead or anything! haha
| fullmoonglow chapter 1 . 4/27/2012
i check your story every 2 days
by the way your story is very good you sound like a pro at writing books
it is one of my favourite fanfictions
please... keep up the good work
| wonthousand chapter 2 . 12/3/2011
I love this fic so much. /heartheartheart
It makes me sad to think I'll never know how it ends. D':
| Parpallee chapter 3 . 6/21/2010
i love your story. its well written and the plot is great! please update soon. pretty pleaseeeeeee! 3
| MidnightCherryBlossomCat chapter 3 . 5/2/2010
WOW THIS IS GREAT!
Can't wait to read what happens next!
| livinglifeasitis chapter 3 . 12/31/2009
OMG. 0_0 This is the best frigging Naruto story I have ever read...I think I may have died from the awesomeness...Um, I've read your profile and I'm not quite sure as to when it, your profile messages, was written...but is there a chance you'll be continuing this because OMG... I'm speechless. Please continue. Happy New Year. I hope to see updates sometime in 2010...
| smos chapter 3 . 11/28/2009
I love the idea of this forbidden love! And the characterizations especially Sasuke is awesome! The plot is BRILLIANT and the way the story is constructed is so vivid and colorful! This was a wonderful read! You are a wonderful, brilliant author! Certainly one of the best Canon AU fics out there! I do hope you will continue. I'd be really awesome to read happens next. The sexual tension between our beloved heroes is unbearable! More power to you, and my your pen write swift! KUDOS to you, dude!
| Kane Shi Megami chapter 3 . 8/30/2009
When reading the AU high school setting I was hesitant to click on this. But now I'm so happy I did! What a marvelous jewel you have here. I see its been a long time since an update but I hope you make your way back to this one some day. Thanks for writing such a great story.
| Akinriah Tram chapter 3 . 6/21/2009
This is probably one of the good recent stories I've read. Especially when you incorporated both hs life w/ the ninja life. Not only that, the idea's original and everything *fangirls* hehe. omgg. there are so many twists. I think something should happen... like Naomi happened to turn out and be a ninja no one knows. Or... Ino might die because she discovered something about Sasuke. P
Or some romance between Jiraiya and Tsunade although its centers on SakuSasu. Meh,whatever. Continue writing, cheers.
| Wika chapter 3 . 5/14/2009
OMG! WTF? I only read this to kill time, I never thought it would be so good! Srly, I've read stories with 20 reviews worse than this. You really need to update, you're scaring every one off. I totally thought this was a discontinued fic. the 10 people skimming over stuff probably thinks so, too.