I like your writing style.I dislike bakura too,BUT I hardly feel sorry for him.
Good work any way.

I always knew yami bakura was a bit of a whacko. -_-

brittney

This story was amazing. It was lulling, rhythmic, like a poem or a lullaby. But what a terrifying subject...

I respect a lot of this piece. The research into Egyptian religious beliefs that you put into it; the repetition in the lines; the ongoing theme of the ring, used in different contexts (like how you described the screams ringing, and how you used the asp as a metaphor for the Ring as well as for the man's hatred); the subtle way you hinted at who the narrator is exactly when you began the story; how you portray the man's extremely sociopathic worldview through his treatment and thoughts of other people (like Bakura, whom he regards as no better than an animal, predictable and weak-minded but trainable); and the foreshadowing, like in the lines: "...I bond my Ring to him. This way, no matter what distance, no matter what his will might be, my Ring will always find the way back to him. My Ring will always allow me to control Bakura." (That last line I love especially, haha! A bit of a layered meaning...)

The only thing I found the least bit implausible was how the man planned for this whole grand scheme with his descendants; but then again, the narrator is obviously not completely sane. He quite seriously dreams of blotting out the sun, for goodness sakes! Then again, he nearly achieved that, didn't he?... ;)

Oh, and of course I love how you began and ended the story the exact same way, again like a poem.

Most excellent fic! Thank you for writing!

that was really sad. I can understand why he'd be angry. What a horrible way to die.

Suddenly the fact that the ring kept coming back to Ryou makes sense! XD

lol

Your AU is WONDERFUL!

It's a GREAT idea, but would that make his dads spirit Zork?

Well that's certainly an interesting take on Yami Bakura. I hadn't ever thought of that before. This was cool.

That was very interesting. I have never really thought about the will of the Millennium Ring. It was an awesome story! Awesome job!

-Wt

That was very good. Beautifully put together and wonderfully sussinct, the writing style was perfect and vaugly unsettling. The concept fanastic and all to possible.

Fantastic! A real pleasure to read!

I met you at AnimeExpo this year and I just got done reading this story and I am not sure if I can find words to write to cover how wonderful this was. Bakura is one of my favorite characters and I'm always thinking up theories on what made him so down-right crazy evil and I think you hit the nail on the head here. I almost feel ashamed that I gave you a link to my crappy fics, there's no way I can top this. Well, I'm rambling now, awesome work and I go now to read more.

This gives me the creeps, and I love it. The voice of the narrator is compelling - I've never had a story about a 'mad' person sound quite this crazy. The structure works wonderfully. From your notes, it seems that we have pretty similar views on the Bakurae, but even so you've put an original spin on things.

Brilliant! I am a firm believer in the theory that we have never known the real Bakura and I like how you portrayed that. Kura's not evil...just misunderstood. Go you!

Many kittens and purple clouds

Luthien Eowyn

Very good story, in a creepy, creepy kind of way. You know what I mean: the disjointed, halucinatory narrative perfectly fits the POV character's insanity, almost dragging the reader kicking and screaming into his twisted vison of the world. Hence teh creepiness. Brr. Good work. As an aside, I love the use of "coils" for each segment of the narrative. Another perfect fit.

This was really good. I like the idea that Bakura is not the evil one it is his father. Please update soo.