|Reviews for White Wedding|
| Guest chapter 1 . 1/3/2012
Although the idea was nice, parts of this were so.. Inaccurate for FFX-2. Yevon would have been something no one would it utter in the sense that we say: "Jesus" or "Goddammit". New Yevon is just a political party-so Yevon is now a political regime. Most of Spira, much less Yuna (the person who helped Spira see how false Yevon was), wouldn't say Yevon.
You should have put that the characters would be really OOC. Because no one in this fanfic was behaving in character. Not even Rikku.
| yunabesaid chapter 1 . 12/22/2011
Yes, I know, my knickname reveals my obsession with Yuna.
First of all, you did well, I was almost in tears when Tidus disapeared again. I think you should have made Yuna pure, in that she didn't "jump" Tidus, because Yuna is a pure girl. Maybe she could have not sworn (saying "Yevon") it seemed a bit out of character, and maybe she could have coped with Tidus's disapearence with more of a "Smile when I'm sad" reaction. Other than that I liked it a lot!
| amayhun chapter 1 . 2/21/2008
i can't beleive that it was Yuna's dream! It was all so happy then he went! That part made me cry.
| CosyInTheRocket chapter 1 . 9/21/2007
I think I might cry...
It's GORGEOUS! seriously.
but reli RELI sad.
i reli think i mite cry...
| DaggerQuill chapter 1 . 7/14/2006
This was so sad! what a crazy idea, so many twists.
| Mental General chapter 1 . 2/18/2006
U EVIL MEANIE!
nice twist though
| Chicki-la-la chapter 1 . 2/18/2006
OMG ur evil! but i luv ur story so much!
| Warui-Usagi chapter 1 . 1/8/2006
Sorry it took me so long to review! I'm in Japan so I can't check my email often...SORRY! But I Loved it and can't wait for the next chapter! Update again soon!
| haka-girl Anne chapter 1 . 1/5/2006
Well done. The end was a big suprise to me. I had happy and beatiful images of the wedding in my head and then BANG - it all fell apart. Keep goin!
| Nikki of Spira chapter 1 . 1/1/2006
I think you need to have a much more in depth dilogue between characters and more detail in discriptions or mainly just slow the story down, don't rush writing ideas. Nurture a story like a child, make sure you pay attention to every detail. The wedding could have been longer and more discriptive. However, being a dream sequence I guess it didn't matter...lol. This was a pretty good first attempt at writing a fic...I'm sorry I'm known to be critical...but it's not bad.
If you want to create a story of their life afterwards, make sure you add suspense and a gipping plot for it to become successful. What fun would it be if they just lived happily ever after? If you want an idea of how to go about writing a great continuation fic on here of their life afterwards, I would recommend causing another threat to Spira or something that would open the possibilities of cliffhangers.
If you want I invite you to read some of my work with 'The Shadow of Evil' series in what people look for in successful fanfics. For some reason people like stuff like violence, mature theme, sexuality,suspense, humor, horror,romance, just about everything mixed into one...but leaving almost every chapter with a cliffhanger of sorts.
If you also want reference to a detailed wedding you can look at Saturn Stars' "Tidus and Yuna A Lifetime Together" chapter 51 or something like that or the first novel in my series..."The Shadow of Evil" the epilogue.
Anyway...if you continue to write I will read your work. Hope this helps you out in some way for improvement and ideas. I look forward in reading your future work.
Cheers! And Happy New Year!