|Reviews for Team 8|
| RasenganFin chapter 8 . 1/26/2007
Nice job with having Shino and Hinata figure out that the Kyubbi is in Naruto. I would have waited a few more chapters for that, at least until Orochimaru showed up.
| the grey mage chapter 10 . 1/26/2007
hey...this is good.
any way how you gonna handle the situation of gaara? you gonna have naru kill him? i mean you didn't have naru meet with haku but still had him learn of his nindo in an inventive and believable way.
ah keep it up and good luck with continuing it. whoo!
| Gosu chapter 10 . 1/26/2007
2 days...100k words...1 review...
I wont lie man, I was screaming YOSH! SHINO YOU ARE MY HERO when he blazed the council and their stupidity, probably the BEST FANFICTION MOMENT EVER. and I really like the build. Although I have read it before this one brings new...flare which is enjoyable
| warpedbadboy chapter 10 . 1/26/2007
its been pretty good so far, i hope you keep updating
| RasenganFin chapter 4 . 1/25/2007
That mental image of Naruto being another Gai replica was the funniest thing i have read on this website EVER!
AND the fact that Kurenai was fooled by a simple henge was the cherry on top.
| RasenganFin chapter 2 . 1/25/2007
Have Naruto and Hinata pair up soon they are so cute together.
| RasenganFin chapter 1 . 1/25/2007
Only a genius could write this good and would have THAT name
This is RasenganFin if you check out my profile you'll
know why i called you a genius. _lol
| courageouscoward chapter 1 . 1/24/2007
nice...never really paid attention to kurenai before but she seems cool by the way you characterize her and stuff. good job. yay. \m/
| Zsych chapter 10 . 1/24/2007
Its over already? And before the chuunin exam even started.
(Betrayed by a story with more than a 100k words!)
Your story is quite enjoyable, although a little too long. I kept expecting you to move forward but you didn't.
Anyway, hope you update soon.
| Guest chapter 9 . 1/23/2007
As usual, I'm slow (and writing this review for the SECOND time, since the window closed on me). It took me two days to read and now two days later I'm reviewing, so I hope I'm not leaving anything out, although it will be slightly shorter than the original because my attention span is waivering.
First off, I like the premise. I like the fact that you switched Kiba and Naruto quite a bit. I know Kurenai and Shino are "mystery" characters, so to speak, and that makes it a bit more difficult to keep everyone IC. However, you do a wonderful job at it. Somehow you've managed to give all the characters depth and weave a nice web of relationship between them. Also, Shino's dry, droll sense of humor amuses me quite a bit, and I think you portrayed him in a very logical, positive way (considering the affinity for "creepy-crawlies"). I also enjoy the way you present Hinata because (at least to me) she seems somewhat contridictory in nature. But that is also a flaw that can be laid at the feet of her Clan/father.
All in all, this is a quality fic that I'm enjoying very much. You have a nice style and flow to your writing, and your vocabulary is quite extensive. There were a few words you really seem to like using, and it's not enough to bug me, but I don't remember them at the moment. I may pick them out next review. The long blocks of description and introspective are very welcome. The pace does seem a little slow but not overly so, and it is certainly not boring. I'm curious as to how the exams are going to go!
The prank Naruto pulled by pretending to wear the green spandex (of eternal fashion doom) was absolutely priceless! Then again, this is the boy running around in orange (thanks so much for getting him out of THAT headache-inducing outfit). And I think Kurenai's reaction was completely and utterly justified; I would want to slit Gai's spinal cord as well or simply snap every single vertebrae with a satisfying snap.
PS. Brownie points for not killing Haku!
| menolly1019 chapter 10 . 1/22/2007
First of all, I never thought I would enjoy a story that partnered Naruto with anyone other than Sasuke and Sakura, but I'm beginning to learn that no matter what the plot if a good author is guiding it the outcome will be awesome. The way that Shino and the rest of the Aburame clan think and talk is a little extreme, but can be hilarious at times. If Shino stays with Naruto for long he might just become a little less formal. Hinata's interactions bother me a little. I can partially see the reason why she would think that everyone thought that she was worthless, but I also think her belief in Naruto should factor in to his translation of him. She would never believe that Naruto would ever say anything that would hurt anyone even slightly. I'm very interested to see what happens with the council theory and also how Sasuke will turn out with Kiba bugging him rather than Naruto. The description of the wave country mission made me wonder what exactly Sasuke and Kiba did during the first Zabuza encounter. It took Naruto and his Kage bunshins to free Kakashi the first time, so what really happened with Kiba factored in? Great work on the background details, especially the ones about Naruto in the academy. I never really believed he was quite as inept and brain-dead as some of the other fanfics make him out to be. I do think that there should have been more of a talk or reaction between Lee and Naruto when Naruto tells him about Kyuubi. Gai doesn't even tell Lee that it is forbidden to tell anyone about it. Finally, I completely respect this is a matter of your own style, but you might consider jumping into some other people's perspectives even once. Knowing Team 8's views are enlightening, but it might round out some of the other characters' attitudes towards them with a little outside view. Use it or not, I'm too lazy to be offended.(Did you see that cloud go by? coughShikamarucough). Do as well as you can with the updates. I await your continuation to the plot of your original account of a previously explored japanese comic with disrupted breath. (Translate that!)
| inecatus chapter 10 . 1/22/2007
First thing I want to say is your story is excellent and is probably the best of all the naruhina fics on the entire site. Second since I know authors prefer constructive critism to "I love ur story update plz" I wanted to note a few problems with your fic. My first and foremost issue is how you depict chakra control. You depict it Naruto as putting too much chakra in his jutsus thus he always screws up. That couldn't be true for a number of reasons. One the name itself say you are controlling the flow of chakra not just determining the amount to put in the jutsu. A good example of this is Naruto's second signature move the Rasengan. He could get the right amount of chakra every time he does the move yet he could always screws it up and he had the right amount of time before the time skip yet he needed a clone to help him control the chakra. A better theory would be to say the larger amount of chakra the harder it is to control if you started off not knowing chakra control also becuase ninja learn chakra control and eventually get bigger you could say their ability to 'grasp' the right amount of chakra gets better the more they practice. On a related topic the kyuubi wasn't screwwing up his water walking it was his overly large amount of chakra and poor chakra control. In canon he already mastered as well as he could tree climbing so he had a relativly good chakra control. The only reason he had kept failing was the Five Element Seal Orochimaru gave him note when Jiraiya removed the seal which according to the theory that the Kyuubi was screwing up his chakra should have still made him fail water walking yet he could do it pretty well.
| EasterOfFlesh chapter 10 . 1/22/2007
I love your story! It's really well-thought out and logical (sadly something RARELY sees). Is there going to be more Shino? He's such a social cripple, he's funny read about.
| Neccor chapter 10 . 1/21/2007
Great story so far. You did Shino perfectly. Having him logical, like an insect hive, is perfect characterization for him, and the clan. I hope you update soon so I can read he next chapter. Good luck
| Stepping Stone chapter 10 . 1/21/2007
Short Version: I love this story
Long Version: There are a few things that, to me, make this story stand out amoung others in the NaruHina category. First of all, I really like that you placed Naruto in Team 8 instead of moving Hinata to Team 7. I think that a lot of authors probably move Hinata because it is easier to write using Kakashi because of how often he has appeared in the manga as apposed to the other jonin sensei. The problem with this is that by doing so, they are disregarding how that would affect Team 8 since they are, as you point out, a reconnaissance team, and losing the byakugan would hurt the team. This choice also allowed you to develop Kurenai and Shino more, both of which you did well. The background story for Kurenai is interesting by itself and how it affects her actions in the main story, and keeps me from losing focus. The way you write for Shino is the way he sounds and acts in my head, not completely silent but not overly social. I like your diction, both for the characters as well as descriptions. In all stories that start from the beginning, I find myself fearing the chapter(s) that deal with the chuunin exam, but you've kept the story interesting so far, so I am not as concerned as I normally would be. The chapter length and quality are excellent. I think that it is definitely worth the wait for updates if the quality stays at this level. I just hope that Hinata gets a little more hapiness soon.