|Reviews for Team 8|
| Monkey Ninja Naf S'netog chapter 7 . 7/31/2006
Really great. The fight was also really great. Can't wait to read more...
| Xlthanga chapter 7 . 7/30/2006
This is the first Naruto fanfic I've read and its great! I like the changes u made in this story to some of the characters. I'm looking forward to your own take on the events to come. However I would like to make one comment about the Chidori it doesnt have to be "bound" to a sharp object as Sasuke demostrates over and over again in the anime. It is therefore understandable for people to get confused.
Looking forward to ur next update.
| Clark Cradic chapter 7 . 7/30/2006
Awesome way to have Naruto unleash Hell (and Kyuubi), once again you've made a great chapter. Like I've said before the one thing you could do to make it better is the amount of dialouge you give some of the characters. Sometimes the other guys just say too much and out of character and sometimes you make Naruto sound a little too smart. Other than that this story is perfect. I loved how you were able to include Konohamaru and Hanabi in the story, I liked how Naruto said "“Your name will be face-in-mud if you don’t shut up,” that was perfectly in his character. I'm also glad Iruka's okay, maybe when they get back to the hospital Naruto can use his Sexy Jutsu to make him feel better. Also I'm looking for an excuse for Naruto to see the Sexy no Jutsu. Please update as soon as you can! Update Soon!
| Fleetfoot chapter 7 . 7/30/2006
This fanfic has really progressed well!
I do hope to read some more of the good stuff soon..
| destroying tokyo chapter 7 . 7/30/2006
I really enjoyed this chapter. I love the Iwa-nins reaction to Naruto and hope you go into that more. Though, you seemed to hint that you will. Are you also one of the people who believe the yondaime is Naruto's father?
I liked the part about Iruka and the new nindo. I really enjoy your writing and hope you update soon.
| Akki no Tama chapter 7 . 7/30/2006
Heh, ok, I'll follow your advice.
Something I really like about this fic is that it's revolved around Naruto, though that's not surprising or hard to do. But wait, there's more. I like the character interaction with, around, and about Naruto. It's really interesting to read about things outside of the action. Before, when Kurenai was showing Naruto how to manage his money, buy clothes, and other such things, it really showed how Naruto was growing up and kind of sets a basis for his character. It wasn't like other fics where he suddenly changed personalities, which is ok...but it doesn't really show depth.
I like how you you think outside of the norm, too. You don't follow the original plot line, which is good but hard to do. But then again, the fact that Naruto went in a different team makes it into an alternate universe. I like the little everyday scenes you sometimes make, and I like the scenes that really show how Naruto grows up (like I already said), but the scene with the rock ninjas really intruiged me. It was interesting and new.
I also liked the scene where Gai suddenly poped out of no where (as he's prone to do) and to back Naruto up (in his own way...). I was interested in the reactions of other people when they found out the rock ninjas mistook Naruto for the Fourth (but from the fact Naruto heard them also say bastard makes me think that the rock ninjas are either calling him a bastard or calling Naruto his bastard child). I like scenes like these because I like it when other adults interact with Naruto.
But, all of that has to do with Naruto. There's more to your story than just Naruto's problems and I like that. You added in Hinata's problems, which involved Hanabi, Neji, and the Head Hyuuga. To tell you the truth, I didn't see much Shino interaction, but that's understanable since he's such a quiet guy. Adding his father into the search party made it interesting, with the whole second colony (it's nice to get details like that, with the second queen and cycles thingy) giving it a new look and giving the readers som insights into the lives outside of Naruto. Having Kurenai as his teacher really made Naruto different. She is such positive reinforcement for him, making him think and learn with and without her.
I like how really show a person's character and feelings with what is said. When one of the characters speaks, it really fits them in it's own way. Hinata's father really seems like a jerk by how he acts so high and mighty, looking as if he's above everyone else. And the way you added in how he ignored Hinata said a lot. Kiba's mother seems like a nice person and the reader can see how Kiba is like her in a few ways.
I thought this line was good: “More for us! I’m really starving, and Shino is eating for three now!”
-' Made it seem like Shino was pregnant with twins.
I can't tell if there's going to be a future coupling with Naruto and Hinata or not. To be honost, that couple is the most tiring for me. It's so common and overdone. But...I could be a little biased since I'm such a yaoi fangirl. ' I usually stop reading if there is romance between two people I don't like being together. Mostly because I can't stand reading it, partly because most authors (once they established the couple) focus way too much on it. However, since I like your fic so much, if you DO make it NarutoHinata, I'll still read it (as long as you don't concentrate on it).
Er...don't let your judgement be affect by my thoughts, though. Your fic, your plot. If you want to do something, do it, because writing a fic should be fun for the author. Just because one reader (me or anyone else) doesn't like a certain thing doesn't mean you shouldn't do it.
...There was more I wanted to say...hm...
Oh, now I sort of remember. How will Neji react with Naruto, now that the blond isn't so...well...I'm not sure how to describe it...rash? And now that Naruto is so different, how will Gaara react with him? I really seems to leave things open for how Naruto will now impact people. I hope he's still his charming old self. He's just so cute that way!
I really like how Naruto seems more aware and connected to people outside his own cell.
...I seem to have run out of things to say. Oh well, there's at least one or two more things.
Update soon! I love your fic! XD
~Akki no Tama
P.S. I was too lazy to log in.
| Dragonist chapter 7 . 7/30/2006
I love how you picture the Naruto characters in this fic. You make them different from cannon, but still have them retain enough basics so as not to make it unrealistic. Naruto, Hinata, and Shino are stronger and their tastes differ from the manga, but they still are able to make you beleive that they could be like this without major changes to the story line. Considering I've always though Kurenai cared more about all her students in general then Kakashi's "Sasuke only" program, their reactions and life styles give you a great review, showing your great writing abilities.
In non complicted words, it means you rule!
| NET chapter 7 . 7/30/2006
I don't think I have to say anything about the awesomeness of your fic. A lot of people said it already.
But there's one thing that nagged me since the first time I read this episode. It's about why you make Konohamaru and Hanabi get captured together? Because if you want to show how Hinata's home's life to naruto you could have just used only Hanabi to be captured but instead you add Konohamaru into the scene. If my suspicious wasn't wrong, I think you might want to make a pair out of them, right? Of course for children that age there wouldn't be any romance for them yet but I think you can make them a close friend for the start.
Anyway, that was just my thought. It was all up to you for the direction of this story. Just remember that this reader will follow you everywhere to the end.
| Turtle Kid the Woolgatherer chapter 7 . 7/30/2006
That was cute, in a psychotic way. I don't really like Hanabi, but I like your characterization of her. Actually, I only really like a few of the Hyuuga members. And the whole "Iruka dying" thing really made my day. I mean, at the time I wanted to kill you, but after I read the whole chapter it really brought it all together.
| King of the Poker Face chapter 7 . 7/30/2006
Great chapter, I loved it.
You excell at writing battle scenes, you are xtremily talented at it. Especially the part where Hinata shined, and where Naruto came in also. It's also cool how you parallel this battle with the battle of Kakashi and Zabuza in the original story and how it took the death of a someone close to Naruto to get him to go crazy. But I do think the introduction of the villains and such was a bit bland. With Kakashi and Zabuza we had an got to know who Zabuza was, what type of person he is and how he thinks. Your villains were one dimensional, it seemed as if they were put there to be killed. I suppose since they were the first villains it doesn't matter, but you may want to give more depth to their character and purpose next time.
The same can be said about the original characters actually. Hanabi, Hiashi, Kurenai, Naruto, etc they are all potrayed one way without too much complexity. Naruto is a lot more thoughtful,but the way you write the story makes him seem almost flawless. Even though he is more thoughtful parts of his old personality should still come up. You did mention that he's doing stupid stuff also, but you're telling, not showing. Kurenai also cannot be perfect, she has to have obvious character flaws such as Kakashi. Also, are you sure Tsume is the mother of Kiba, and not the sister?
One final part would be the jutsus. I don't know if you keep up with the manga, but it turns out not everybody can do any jutsus. Naruto is a wind-type person, and you might want to check that out, on wikipedia or something. They have detailed info on the Jutsus there. Anyways, keep up the near-perfect work, c ya!
| HecatonchiresLM chapter 7 . 7/30/2006
| aaran924 chapter 7 . 7/30/2006
nice story well written and very good use of an oc naruto shin and Hinata really like the bastard father of hers makes hinata much more belivalble keep it up i like this story update soon
| Martrex chapter 7 . 7/30/2006
Great stuff! Please, please, please get Hinata a spine! I know about her, but with Naruto's encouragement and the proof of her strength and skill she should really have more confidence. That could also open up a conflict later on if the Hyuga's try to put the seal on her... she could be the first member to leave the Hyuga WITH her skill/style fully intact. (Take THAT Hiashi!)
| hecate-19 chapter 7 . 7/30/2006
I've just finished reading this fic, and I wanted to let you know that I think it is one of the best Naruto-on-a-different-team-AU fics that I've ever read. Your fic was so good that by the time that I finished it, I was wondering why Kurenai wasn't Naruto's Jounin-sensei in the cannon. He hardly grew much under Kakashi's tutelage. But I understand that if he'd changed too much in the manga/anime, he just wouldn't be that loud and lovable ninja-in-training that we all like to watch and cheer for.
| KaOn KaI chapter 7 . 7/30/2006
rad chapter man, really action packed, you've done great on the fighting parts, keep up the good work man, can't wait for the next chapter!