|Reviews for Team 8|
| Annesper chapter 1 . 12/28/2016
Hi! Im not sure if your even going 2 get this review, it being 10 years late. I like this story. This is the 5th time im reading it n thought, maybe ul find this:-D
| Guest chapter 1 . 12/20/2016
Good to hear you're out of the hospital and recovering with family hope it all goes well. Yes I know that update was in August but I wander in and out of the things I like and I just checked on your status. Also merry christmas.
| The Mod God chapter 1 . 11/26/2016
For the love of God keep writing this story! This story is TOO GOOD to just be abandoned like this! It has almost been 2 years since the last update!
| ShaiGar chapter 1 . 10/25/2016
Surprised you didn't have Kakashi speak up about wanting him on his team, as Kakashi was trained by Narutos father.
| Guest chapter 1 . 10/20/2016
love this story read mine?
| 4everfictional chapter 1 . 10/7/2016
He's already pretty OOC compared to canon, but I'm loving your portrayal of all these characters especially your version of Naruto! XD As long as you stay true to the characters you create I'll have no complaints about them being OOC.
| Guest chapter 1 . 9/28/2016
| ultralykan chapter 1 . 9/26/2016
trade marked nice
| Cassy chapter 1 . 9/21/2016
Por favor continúa la historia está genial
| JimmyHall24 chapter 1 . 9/3/2016
If Naruto was more realistic then Naruto wouldnt loyal to konoha at all and would hate the fourth hokage. If being Hokage means I sacrifice my child for a bunch of ungrateful motherfuckers then Kurama can smash the fucking village for all I care.
Why Naruto wants to be the leader of a village full of jackasses is beyond me.
| Destiny's Bond chapter 1 . 8/14/2016
Wow... Okay, you have the biggest Naruto story in the whole Naruto fanfiction...
| minimalistic-with-a-twist chapter 1 . 7/31/2016
Wow. I saw this while looking for good fanfic and I have got to say that so far I am impressed. Even though this is only the first chapter I liked the way you set up the story and introduced the main characters. Hopefully this fic lives up to its reputation with the amount of favs and follows it's received.
| Omniscient chapter 1 . 7/18/2016
Like it bro
| ranoshi chapter 1 . 7/2/2016
Thank you for writing this, I've always wanted better for Naruto, Kurenai seems like a great role model the way you are writing her and I like your inclusion of Hints and her affection for him, I look forward to her being more confident.
| Masterx01 chapter 1 . 6/27/2016
Kurenai-Sama? What the!? Who are you and what have you done to Naruto!?
well, that line feels awful OCC, younger Naruto even for his dear life cant show apropiate respect for the olders, important figures or the elders, that he used the 'Sama' honorific doesnt feel like Naruto.
Kurenai-sensei is good, kurenai-sama... that feels wrong.
| Nightshadegirl chapter 1 . 6/22/2016
looking forward to seeing naruto become the shinobi he is meant to be with kurenai as his sensei.
| Guest chapter 1 . 6/16/2016
After reading this story through about a few months ago, Kurenai's death didn't affect me that dearly. But now just reading the first chapter knowing that Kurenai was going to die just broke my heart. I still love your story though.
| Sanity Demolisher chapter 1 . 6/12/2016
Just did a reread of this story and remembered why I loved it so much. I hope life is treating you well and that you'll have some time to return to this story in the near future. Best!
| TimothyLin chapter 1 . 5/25/2016
Thank you for the chapter.
| Concerned chapter 1 . 5/25/2016
Has this story been dropped? The last update was a year ago. I reallylike this story and hope the author hasn't forgotten about this.
| UdayJhunjhunwala chapter 1 . 5/5/2016
I really loved your story. One of my favorite Naruto fan fictions ever.
| Wolf Guard Miestwin chapter 1 . 4/25/2016
It seems good so far, and will continue reading, but seriously, did you have to throw in unnecessary Japanese words in there? All those "kun" "chan" "san" I can stomach, because there are no too many other ways to substitute them, but seriously, was it so hard to write "brat" instead of "gaki", and "father" instead of "otoosan"?
It feels as stupid as Japanese pop stars randomly throwing in english words in their songs, for no reason at all.
| GodSlayerTiffany chapter 1 . 4/12/2016
Why did you stop :0 it was so fine so far :( anw , if you don't want to continue I respect your choice even thought when I start something , I finish it :) . Although if anyone would like to read my story I would be happy and grateful
| Ywena chapter 1 . 3/11/2016
Hello ! I just read you fanfiction and i LOVED IT. It's perfect, from the begining to the end, and you Naruto is probably far more happy than canon!Naruto D Anyway, i'm going to read your others stories now that im' addicted to your writing. I hope that you update this fanfiction one day, even if it has been more than a year since the last chapter...
| firecu6e chapter 1 . 2/27/2016
is this story finished?
| Demi496 chapter 1 . 2/27/2016
| Guest chapter 1 . 2/24/2016
they is more about sasuke thane meet the eye
| Counting Sinful Stars chapter 1 . 2/16/2016
This looks so good!
| animecutylover chapter 1 . 2/13/2016
Kurenai is on my top favorite characters list now!
She's cool, and she's being nice to Naruto!
| The Great Wordsmith chapter 1 . 2/9/2016
This is a very intriguing start for this story. The introspection that established a precedent for Kurenai's behaviour was well-defined and offered a good sense of realism to this story, unlike most others. True, Kurenai's past was pretty much a blank slate at the point when this story commenced, and I hope to see just how you intend to progress with establishing and defining her character.
The character interactions were well done too. I personally like how you portrayed Shino, as this calm, utterly pragmatic persona with more than a touch of condescension. Hinata's insecurities and other idiosyncrasies were awesomely presented too. Good work on Naruto as well, very insightful if I do say so myself.
I was rather surprised to see that this story has well over 15000 favourites and follows, but based on this first chapter alone, it deserves every last one of them. I really hope that you continue with this excellent standard of writing, and if the rest of the story is this good, then you have yourself one more loyal fan here.
| tattoedangel chapter 1 . 1/23/2016
Just binge read this story, best one I've read by far. Hope to see more updates! NaruHina4ever!
| logron chapter 1 . 12/25/2015
I rarely like naruto fanfiction
And yours is the first i really like
The reasoning behind team 8 is make sense, naruto childhood is too damn painful. He need some mother/sister figure sooner, and kurenai is the mother/sister he need
| ADY71 chapter 1 . 12/21/2015
SALUT,ACEST FANFIC MAI ESTE CONTINUAT?
| Guest chapter 1 . 12/16/2015
Respect. This is nice, and I don't usually say this about people,you should be happy.
| Guest chapter 1 . 11/26/2015
Goddamn, I've already read this through but still. Coming to the beginning and hearing your logic for the teams is so convincing, and that alone makes me think "Whoa, I'm reading a fic where naruto Sakura and Sasuke are not team 7 under kakashi, and hinata kiba and Shino are not team 8 under kurenai. Those are such universal facts of the Naruto universe, so absolute that to see them changed is earth-shattering and almost scary for someone who loves naruto so much
| ADY71 chapter 1 . 11/23/2015
SALUT,ACEST FANFIC MAI VA FI ACTUALIZAT?
| Guest chapter 1 . 11/19/2015
| ady71 chapter 1 . 11/9/2015
SALUT, ACEST FANFIC MAI ESTE ACTUALIZAT?
| Scanndalus chapter 1 . 11/7/2015
It normally takes more than a single chapter for a fanfic to punch me square in the feels. I really like your writing style and I think I'm going to REALLY enjoy this story.
| KumaNoKami chapter 1 . 9/30/2015
Your story is great, I like your character developement. I'm curious to learn about Mattai's relation to the Hyûga. Your plot flows really well, I'm looking forward to your update, please continue this awesome story.
| Guest chapter 1 . 9/24/2015
SALUT,ACEST FANFIC MAI ESTE ACTUALIZAT?
| Story.Writer.2015 chapter 1 . 9/13/2015
Great story. I love it. Please update soon
| jcampbellohten chapter 1 . 9/8/2015
You justified the change from canon very well, especially compared to some other stories I've read that give half-assed excuses and flimsy logic. Kurenai gave great arguments for her decision (though I was expecting it to be mentioned that the shadow clone jutsu is primarily meant for reconnaissance, so Naruto is arguably an even better fit than Kiba; then again, from looking at the publish date this probably came out before that aspect of it was revealed), countered good counter-arguments, and on top of all of that managed to condemn the villagers' treatment of Naruto AND their passing it on to their kids from a logical and practical standpoint instead of just saying it's wrong. I do wish you wouldn't insert gratuitous Japanese words, though (e.g., hai/ohayo/yamete/gaki/nani/kuso/yatta"). I'm looking forward to reading the rest of this.
| WritingWolf14 chapter 1 . 8/2/2015
Aw! I really love this story it is so sad and cute! You are a fantastic writer!
| Apprentice-kun chapter 1 . 7/30/2015
| librarat chapter 1 . 7/28/2015
I already love this story! Am I right in assuming that this'll be a Naru/Hina pairing? They're so damn cute despite me not reading very much of the pairing! And I love how you've made Kurenai Naru's sensei and that she see's the potential he has, so much potential yet it's wasted on that bastard village! Sorry, I tend to ramble, again though, love where the story's going!
| Guest chapter 1 . 7/18/2015
please please pretty please with sugar on top continue this story it's REAAALLLYYY good I couldn't stop reading!
| Guest chapter 1 . 7/8/2015
Almost 10 years and going strong, amazing!
| Austin jones chapter 1 . 7/8/2015
This fucking sucks you dumb cunt
| IansInsane chapter 1 . 7/5/2015
I like this!
Now that he isn't under some lazy perv he might actually get better, faster!
| saltkettle chapter 1 . 6/21/2015
To be fair to Naruto, he manages to be pretty darn sneaky in that orange jumpsuit, though that is probably a fair bit of refuge in audacity, because no one expects sneakiness from someone who wears a target on their back.
| Regreme chapter 1 . 6/19/2015
Just thought I'd mention that it seems your fanfiction profile is no longer linking to things like the blog or the like. Don't know why, but figured I'd inform ya of that.
| Greensword101 chapter 1 . 6/12/2015
One chapter in and I'm already hooked. Kind of reminds me of another Naruto fanfic called Contracted, except Contracted's Naruto is a girl and Shikamaru is on team 7 instead of Sakura. I can't wait to read more if this story, I actually felt like crying at some points. Thanks so much!
| MutsyTiger chapter 1 . 6/1/2015
I'm fine with an OOC Naruto. I really liked this chapter! Especially since it was long since long chapters are my favorite!
| Nitmi chapter 1 . 5/26/2015
Gods! I love this! Is the first Naruto fanfic that ive read in years, but i love the premise so much!
Thanks for sharing it with the world!
| WillItWork chapter 1 . 5/15/2015
I wanted to write in at Chapter 1 to say that this is the fourth time reading this through. I really like where you took the story, and the possibilities explored.
Even though it stands incomplete, this is one of my favorite stories on .
| randall neal chapter 1 . 5/1/2015
Great start...and what a wonderful idea. Soooo well written.
| chibi-Clar chapter 1 . 4/23/2015
This is really interesting!
I like this twist! Perhaps hinata will become more confidant earlier.
I like the mystery of the characters too
| LilliesCry chapter 1 . 4/17/2015
Like so many others I have re-read the story and I'm always in love with this Team and time you put in to make the hints and messages flow through your chapters. Great job, no complaints! I'm wondering if Team 8 will get to go on a mission together before the next Exam and what they'll say the first time they all meet up again? Or what they'll maybe do to bond again or tell each other, like something cute like 5 truths and a lie! I can't wait to see how the other teams improve but probably not as much as Team 8. Good luck with all this!
| Guest chapter 1 . 4/13/2015
Why dont u end your damn story?
| Guest chapter 1 . 4/12/2015
Check it out s/11179110/1/Will-of-the-Fallen-Uchiha
| PredatorPuck chapter 1 . 4/7/2015
Hey! Wassap? Good fic! But you made a mistakes, such as there were many kids graduated from academy and only 9 passes genin team and there was a another one but I can't seems to remember
| SeabeeGR chapter 1 . 4/5/2015
A friend recommended me this story. Wow, very old story but glad by reviewers it hasn't be abandon. Looking forward to read on. :-)
| YOU'RE BACK chapter 1 . 3/20/2015
Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh oh my gosh oh my gosh!
| chetan098nain chapter 1 . 3/16/2015
It was a good start, i hope it goes well in future chapters (as i m reading right now) and i really hope to see bad ass naruto.
| Planetary Maelstrom chapter 1 . 3/9/2015
These are somethings I forgot to mention and ask in my review of chapter 23: #1. I don't know whether it was intentional or not but I think you were meaning to write Wind Release or Fuuton. #2. Are you slowly turning this story into a crossover with TMNT? I am a bit confused from the dual signals I'm getting. As for turtle magic, I really hope it's just a hidden application of chakra only turtles can perform and not actual magic. I'm sorry if I sound opinionated and judging but I would be really upset if this becomes a crossover. This story is really, really great just the way it is i.e. staying firmly in the Naruto universe. Thank you for your time.
| kylekatarn77 chapter 1 . 3/7/2015
Sorry to ask here, but where is your patreon? Can't find it.
| Parks98 chapter 1 . 3/7/2015
Saw that this was popular and that u finally update, good story
| freedomwings26 chapter 1 . 2/25/2015
I've read all the way to the end. I am shocked at many parts, but all in all, it's a very well done story. I'm glad you didn't leave me hanging with Kurenai's past story
| Reaper4991 chapter 1 . 2/17/2015
First, I like this idea and what I have read so far. Second thank you for having Kurenai make the point about the parents in the meeting. No one seems to bring that up in other fics.
Any pairings decided yet?
| Guest chapter 1 . 2/11/2015
Why is there always hate on orange I hardly see any shinobi on naruto wear anything camouflage most do obvious clothes especially konoha
LOVE THE ORANGE
| Guest chapter 1 . 2/9/2015
Plz come and write more of this, this is one of the best fanfic s I've ever read plz come back and carry it on I'll giv u a cookie if u dp
| jamuraa chapter 1 . 2/1/2015
this is my favorite fanfiction bar none,I have read it half a dozen times its really exelllent hope you continue
| Lovehates833 chapter 1 . 1/7/2015
Thanks for the awesome story, at least now that I've seen the website on your profile I'm decently sure your not dead.
| Guest chapter 1 . 12/28/2014
I like the tm on the sasuke fan club nice touch
| Foxy-Floof chapter 1 . 12/25/2014
I like Kurenai-sensei. She's warm, and a good deal more attentive than most of the jounin. Sure, she's the relative rookie among her fellow jounin, but she's not as callous or eccentric as most. Like Kakashi... pervy sonuvabitch.
| bakagaijin chapter 1 . 12/8/2014
I don't know if you're finished with your story or not, but I am hoping not. I really want you to continue. You've written something really great here. I do wonder if your six-month break for the main characters is your version of the time skip? I look forward to reading more, and find out what happens with Team 8!
| Black' Victor Cachat chapter 1 . 11/29/2014
Good point on how Kurenai has almost no back story to work with so you can make your own. Not sure if this came out when they did the flashback to the 9 Tails Attack, but if this came before you still nailed it.
Appreciated how you did Naruto's childhood abuse given how I had just finished reading Hektols' list on how fic authors tend to make it more physically abusive than in cannon, here you focus more on how Naruto's emotional, physical, and ninja skills suffered more from being alone than outright attacks.
Part about the outfits was good too, that outfit of Kurenai's does not make sense outside of the village, but she was never shown fighting outside of it
| Hiruka chapter 1 . 11/18/2014
I love your fic!So please update soon!
I beg you!
| Lovina chapter 1 . 11/10/2014
i loooooove your story and im happy you still haven't droped it (a common occurrence after long terms updates) Team 8 is one of the best fanfics around here :) centered aron my favorite characters. I hope you keep finding time between rl bussines and share with us your imagination's results ;))
My best wishes for you!
| Abnormal Dreams chapter 1 . 10/2/2014
Dude, I'm not sure if you know this (I'm sure you hear it a lot), but I still reread everything you've written. I started both nofp and t8 freaking *years* ago, but whenever I feel upset or tired I always go back to your stories and I always find something new to love. It might seem a little weird, but whenever I'm stressed out, you make me feel better. I guess I'm just leaving this so you kind of know that even if you never finished these, you've helped my life in a weird, indefinable way and I really appreciate it. I hope your life is going well because whenever I'm sad you make mine better.
Sorry if this is weird, but I thought you might like to know.
| TheKaiSenpai chapter 1 . 8/28/2014
Please write more. I will give you ramen.
| abstractwhiz chapter 1 . 8/26/2014
This story is absolute genius. I'm only a quarter of the way through, and I already love it. :)
I'm rarely impressed by characters - I typically read fiction for the ideas rather than the people. But I'm rather impressed by the way Kurenai is written, as well as Shino to a lesser extent. Concrete examples of people working through sensible lines of reasoning and actually 'looking underneath the underneath' are hard to come by. It takes skill to do something like this. I especially like how the story is set up in such a way that Kurenai can brilliantly take advantage of all those little 'teaching moments' without it seeming even slightly unnatural.
| I.C.2014 chapter 1 . 8/25/2014
When are you going to update? You're not giving up on this story are you? The story is so good.
| ExecutionerKain chapter 1 . 7/29/2014
Wow... This has got to be one of the greatest stories ever! It's as good or even greater than canon. I've read the whole thing in one go today and it's 4:30 AM and I'm finally finished.
Chapter 20 shocked me, and 21 and 22 brought me to tears, which rarely ever happens.
You wrote every single character really well and I loved your Kurenai, which was why it was all the more shocking.
I plan on reviewing the other chapter when I have time and checking out your blog/forum too.
Thank you for writing! I'm definitely going to reread this!
| noone chapter 1 . 7/25/2014
... you are a freaking bloody genius ...
| eliasdarklight chapter 1 . 7/24/2014
This is an incredible piece of work for a first chapter. So be proud of that. ( I have made it a personal mission to read ALL of the Naruto stories on this site... needless to say I have a LONG way to go) This story appears to be well thought out and at least spell checked so 2 stars for those, the story (Naruto on a different team) is one that isn't used often and you have done this particular team justice. That said there are two points I feel should be pointed out. First off, traditional Japanese ramen, like what would be served at Ichiraku's, is actually one of the single healthiest foods on the planet. All the ingredients are made from scratch, typically that day. Each dish has plenty of vegetables, proteins, and carbohydrates. To put it simply they are nothing like their store bought counterparts. The second thing is that Naruto has demonstrated an apparently average ability, for a ninja, to hide. WHILE wearing his orange jumpsuit. It would not be that far of a stretch to imagine that he must be near impossible to find if he actually TRIES to be stealthy and gets rid of the thing. Furthermore it is orange because of his parents.
| ErzaScarletMeow203 chapter 1 . 7/10/2014
Thanks for calling my fan fiction crap.
| Guest chapter 1 . 7/9/2014
Right "updates have slowed". Seriously dude? you write an awesome fanfic, don't update for a year, and say your updates have slowed? if you've abandoned it, please just write that in the summary. Okay? This is my second time reading it. I never give this type of fic a second chance. That's how awesome it is. Please update.
| Guest chapter 1 . 6/29/2014
No, no! you have to call them plot Bunnies! cuz it's so much more adorable, plus, the ideas do act like bunnies, with the ideas multiplying the more you think of them and such.
| Guest chapter 1 . 6/29/2014
LUV IT! literally squealing right now from the awesomeness of it all!
| Guest chapter 1 . 6/29/2014
wait, that's how little brothers are supposed to act? mine just tries to get me in to trouble and to grope me. :(
well, loving this fanfic!
| Hina Hime Chan chapter 1 . 6/17/2014
I'm so hooked to this story. Please update soon!
| Guest chapter 1 . 6/15/2014
THIS IS GOOD. THIS IS GOOD GOOD GOOD. I LIKE IT. ITS OKAY FOR NARUTO TO BECOME OOC BECAUSE YOU ARE CHANGING THE STORY LINE THUS HIS PERSONALITY IS CHANGING. IT ONLY MAKES SENSE FOR HIM TO STRAY AWAY FROM HIS PERSONALITY IN TE MANGA AND ANIME TO BECOME SOMETHING DIFFERENT IN YOUR STORY. SORRY BOUT THE CAP LOCKS. IM NOT WILLING TO GO BACK AND CHANGE IT
| dragoon109 chapter 1 . 6/1/2014
there is alot of reasons people do not like naruto.
first there is no proof in canon is training was sabotage.
he lived in a decent apartment. messy because of his own stupidity.
while he did train he hardly seeked out to make him self better when he realised it wasnt working.
he was loud and obnoxious. many people hated him because of the favoritism he recived from the hokage from not being punished for his pranks that did harm people's buisness if not ruin there things.
not every one knew of the fact he was a conatiner. it is also fact that containers are known to fail so people keep there family away from those because they could explode at any time.
basically it was around 80% naruto's fault that he wasnt liked. you cant force people to like you which is what naruto tried to do.
| percy zoe and artemis fan chapter 1 . 5/27/2014
| Princ30fTim3 chapter 1 . 5/22/2014
This fic is amazing, will it ever update again?
| kimchi759 chapter 1 . 5/9/2014
I was miffed at first that he's not apart of Team 7, even for a short period of time i fonly to meet Kakashi, but your writing won me over. I do still hope he gets to meet his father's student, though, along with Jiraiya.
| Braisin Goose chapter 1 . 4/30/2014
Woo! How exciting! Your writing is very good, and I am looking forward to reading more of this story! I love this different idea you have :)
| Lydia-Hood chapter 1 . 4/15/2014
Well a few things I find not great about how things are set up, first this is the typical everybody and their mother hates Naruto except a handful few... I think its too much really... another thing is the fact that Naruto is being pointed as having poor skills required for a Recon Team, yet he got some pretty badass stealth, the fact he was able to paint the monument without being spotted is very indicative of that, plus he is one of the few able to make everybody up to ANBU have a hard time catching him. The second thing is Shadow Clones, Shadow Clones would be logically great for Recon, when they dispel they send all their memories back to their maker, this mean those would be great for Recon, combine that and stealth and you are gold, if anything that should have been the justification for him being on Kurenai's Recon Team, rather than wanting to avoid some cheap claim at wanting to avoid overspecializing.
| Soanevalcke chapter 1 . 4/14/2014
Maybe you should put Shino in the tag ?
| Kywin chapter 1 . 4/12/2014
Thank you very much for such a wonderful story )
| SageModeSasuke chapter 1 . 4/10/2014
Great story so far. Also- I tried to look for the PM mark so I could let you know about something you mentioned on your profile. About wanting to publish your work. I know of a well known site that will help you to publish for free. Just hit me up via PM, and I will pass that information on to you if interested. As for this chapter. I have never been a huge fan of Kurenai. I don't dislike her, but she is seen so little it makes for good reasoning not to gravitate towards her. Anyway, Keep up the good work. If you have a moment, maybe check out my Teen Titan story, and my Naruto story. Ja ne' ! :)
| EagleJarl chapter 1 . 4/1/2014
I like your premise. Seeing Naruto actually get some support, encouragement, and clear training (unlike Kakashi's "training") is quite a divergence and emotionally satisfying.
The way you're handling Kurenai is good - she has some emotional depth, and she's clearly responsible. I don't know how good you will make her as a shinobi, but she doesn't need to be amazing to be able to make the team improve.
Finally, I'm glad you chose Shino and Hinata. Their bloodlines are fascinating, and have lots of potential, and their personalities work well for a "let's finally give Naruto an even break" story.
| AlAlva chapter 1 . 3/28/2014
| dragonfighter11 chapter 1 . 3/20/2014
Will you please update this again soon! I love this story and would love to see it completed sometime soon!
| dragoncreators chapter 1 . 3/19/2014
This looks really awesome :D This is pretty much exactly what I think of Naruto. And the way he was trained so half-A** by Kakashi, and then only trained to use the Fox's chakra (That hurts him!) by Jiraya... The only okay teacher he has had, was the toads.
Looking great so far! Onward
| RaspberryCaramelDream chapter 1 . 3/16/2014
Stop SOPA. SOPA stands for Stop Online Piracy Acts. In this case, all fanart will be deleted, all fan-pages, fanfics, fan made videos, etc. Please help stop SOPA.
pleasepleasepleaseplease help, sign the petition!
| Stop SOPA chapter 1 . 3/16/2014
SOPA 2014 will remove all fanfiction, fanart online anime/movies from the internet. If you want to keep alive, the sign the stop SOPA 2014 petition here: .gov/petition/stop-sopa-2014/q0Vkk0Zr
Please keep Fan fiction alive and running!
| Gladiolis chapter 1 . 3/16/2014
As much as the story is different from the original, it was still great to read. Thanks for a wonderful read..
| KhazintheDark chapter 1 . 3/15/2014
I've never red one of your FFs and I have no reason to ask this of you, SOPA 2014 is trying it again, you have 12k followers on team 8, please post a chapter linking to this petition, the deadline is the 19th March so please work quickly.
petitions. whitehouse. gov/ petition/stop-sopa-2014/q0Vkk0Zr
| LilBlueBear chapter 1 . 3/11/2014
Holy moly, this fanfic is awesome! I LOVE kurenai in this! Shows the sweet side in her, though i was hoping it WOULD be a 4 cell team cause i just love shinoxhinataxkiba triple. :3
| Sorasdream chapter 1 . 3/6/2014
Sounds great so far!
I like that Kurenai is shown in a positive light in this fic, not that mind when she finds Naruto annoying and unskilled but it makes more sense to think of her like this.
In the canon Kakashi was team seven's sensei he seemed to favor Sasuke and didn't make as much time for Naruto. Either he was a lazy ass or he didn't think Naruto had any skills, I think it was a combination of these facts but either way it worked out horrible for Naruto. I honestly think that Naruto would have done better on any team other than 7 with Sakura the retarded fangirl and Sasuke the emo.
| Guest chapter 1 . 3/2/2014
Спасибо автору, очень неплохо, хотя уверен что без перевода было бы намного лучше, к сожалению английским владею слабо.
| Kristen snook chapter 1 . 2/16/2014
Could you make a story that begins right after Naruto gets back from his training so that we can see his story unfold and all the changes you could end it at naruto and hinata having a kid. then if you wanted make a story about their kids. but could you at least go to the kids that way we know how the rest of the story unfolds. you are an amazing writer so i know you can.
| Dogoneshame chapter 1 . 2/15/2014
Take this as a review for the series.
Keep posting. Please. I would literally send you money to continue posting.
I want to know what happens next and I'm getting antsy.
| Mementox chapter 1 . 2/10/2014
I just read it nonstop. Great work! Truly a work of art!
| melamariannie chapter 1 . 2/3/2014
You surprised me! I loved this chapter, I had fun reading, you're great thanks so much!1
| Jose19 chapter 1 . 1/31/2014
I am really surprised in how good this story is, and I thought that "Sealed Kunai" was excellent but this story might rival this story because it puts Naruto in a more realistic situation that in most normal fics show. I also want to see how Kurenai can help Naruto because Kurenai is a specialist in Genjutsu, and Naruto biggest weak spot is lack of chakra control.
| infernofield108 chapter 1 . 1/21/2014
wow this is very well thought out for a story i like it you have elements from the original story and you adapt them to match your story very accurately if all goes well with the second chapter,which i have little objections it will, i will be adding this story to my favorites also i love the long chapters good job
| Silverlight10243 chapter 1 . 1/19/2014
Okay, I've been putting off reading this story mainly because it's a NaruHina (not a fan of the couple sorry :( ) But i must say HOW WRONG I WAS! My expectations were completely off, will continue reading this story.
| Naming is hard chapter 1 . 1/17/2014
I just started reading this because I always see it in everyones favorites, so I said "why not? Its probably OK". Let me tell you that my expectations were WAY OFF. I'm only on the first chapter and all I can say is WOW...
You have proven to me that actually great writers exist on this site. This story is marvelous! It seems like its the actual canon material, except 10x better. I will continue reading this to see whats in store for Naruto, all I can say is; job well done mate! ;)
| Me chapter 1 . 1/15/2014
This looks awesome. Truly. In fact I have but one fault, which would be Kurenai taking a dig at the classic Orange threads. I mean he had been successfully avoiding freaking ANBU in that thing, so it obviously isn't impeding him much. But whatever, I suppose it doesn't make a massive amount of sense. Still, a promising story from here. It's a nice twist.
Favourite line: "His live-and-let-live attitude ended where is ramen began." Seriously golden, I may have spluttered. May have, I admit nothing.
Favourite moment: The clone behind Shino. Cause yeah, he would totally do that and it was awesome.
| Laughing Lollie chapter 1 . 1/12/2014
| Thank you chapter 1 . 1/10/2014
This is my 3rd time re-reading this story; it is just way too good. PLEASE UPDATE, IM BEGGING YOU. PLEASE.
| Johnny chapter 1 . 1/4/2014
Cool. Nah, just fuckin' epic man. FUCKING EPIC. Period.
| mexican123 chapter 1 . 12/29/2013
Dam right we need a mexican in office . whites,Blacks,chinnese They aint shit fucking pigs
| rico papi chapter 1 . 12/29/2013
I knew it was only time until tjis shit happened its obamas fault.
| the man of war chapter 1 . 12/29/2013
Sadly this is true fanfic writtets what will we do now
| narutoxxx chapter 1 . 12/29/2013
What the hell is this true
| nevan lopez chapter 1 . 12/29/2013
Its because of people like stupid brody "fuck the manga" why would you say that dumbass.
| nobody chapter 1 . 12/29/2013
#fanfictionisdead join the revolution
| Guest chapter 1 . 12/29/2013
#fanfictionisdead ITS FUCKING OVER HAHAHAHA YOU LOWLIFES SCUM WE HAD ENOUGH OF YOUR STEALING START YOUR OWN FUCKING ANIME,MOVIES,BOOKS ETC. it was a good run but it was only time before we got you thiefs. we work hard an you just want to steal our work NOT ANYMORE
| charlesudo chapter 1 . 12/28/2013
Loved the first chapter. The characters are just right... as in the manga...and the plot is just ripe with possibilities. I look forward to the story:)
| yuyuyre chapter 1 . 12/26/2013
What would happen if while channelling chakra, Naruto saw a weird design on his stomach and drawled on it? Of course this would be before he became a genin. (please forgive my misspellings).
| Harshwords chapter 1 . 12/23/2013
It's like I'm watching an episode, or reading the actual manga. I kept seeing this in everybody's favorites so I decided to check it out. I don't regret my action. Not at all. In fact I'm more than happy that I came across this wonderful fanfic; can't wait to read more :3
| shikamaru lover4ever chapter 1 . 12/17/2013
Wow great start, the anime was literally playing in my head. I can't wait to read more
| mynameisteddy chapter 1 . 11/20/2013
u may not read this but i am a huge naruto fan an one of my biggest intutions was what if naruto was paired with hinata instead of sauske an sakura. now ao far this story to tell the truth. i am fucking hooked. i will not comment again until i have read all 22 current chapters or at least caught up. i will give resourceful insight and to be true i see another version being made exactly like FMA beotherhood. Can't wait to read the rest. Also I'm glad at how long it is. And how descriptive it is. This may not work but would u please also do a story on promethus. Thanks and keep up the good work...u are now an author to me...
| elementofchaos73 chapter 1 . 11/18/2013
Man, this is a legendary story isn't it?
| Minerva Scarlet chapter 1 . 11/12/2013
This was a good chapter. I actually very much like this story. I'll keep reading on.
| Juliet'lovestory chapter 1 . 11/11/2013
Its so well written that Its impossible to stop! Thats such a good thing to find in here! Im loving the idea so far. I cant. Wait.
| AriceComet chapter 1 . 11/9/2013
I love what you're doing with the story, adding the necessary spice and maintaining a good grasp of the characters' different personalities!
Keep it up!
| Sean Renaud chapter 1 . 10/28/2013
For the record orange is a lot more stealthy than most people give it credit for. At night it's one of the first colors of the light specturm to vanish right after red and during the day it's certainly no worse than black or gray.
| Kerreh chapter 1 . 10/24/2013
I hope you continue to update this! _
| Duncan0Idaho chapter 1 . 10/21/2013
I agree with your assessment if Jiraiya had taken Naruto or Tsunade or even the Hokage under their wing Naruto would've been a lot better with a role model, but instead he was left to defend for himself, Sarutobi made a grave mistake with that notion. Solitude can build character however isolating the kid could have turned him onto a monster worse than Orochimaru. For a matter of fact The True Monster by Lord of the Land and Fire shows just how much one event can turn Naruto from the village (basically angry mobtorcheswood house kid burning alive Ninja's not giving a crap about him a Naruto with a very nasty grudge)
| you chapter 1 . 10/17/2013
| anifan chapter 1 . 10/9/2013
Im loving this fic. Are you ever going to continue Nightmares if futures past?
| Taku94 chapter 1 . 10/8/2013
I was dubious of fanfics when my friend told me to read some. This story actually made me join the site!
The way you capture every intricate detail from the atmosphere to facial expressions truly blew me away! What truly impressed me was that even though the parts around the canon were cleverly done and fit in nicely, your original parts -the c rank- shone! I was numbed by the loss towards the end, an emotion I couldn't believe that I got from a fanfic. I applaud you, a masterfully written piece. I may have to wrote now to see if I can produce anything half of this standard!
| Tea.Cup.Tempest chapter 1 . 10/5/2013
Thank you so muchhhhh!
I had hope that this story will not be abandoned like so many other truly incredible ones, and you realized that hope of mine!
Amazing work as usual. And Of with Hiashi-Teme's head!
Please update soon.
| 10000 Fists chapter 1 . 9/30/2013
How far we have come
| Sparkysbro chapter 1 . 9/28/2013
Holy crap, this is amazing! The writing is detailed and full of imagery, the characters already seem to have dimensions, and I absolutely cannot wait to read the next chapter. So I'm not going to :)
| Uberlemming chapter 1 . 9/24/2013
A wonderful opening to a story, it is well written and although there is little in the way of action to grab our attention that is a very good thing as it allowed your characters to steal the show. My biggest problem comes with your intermixing of Japanese words with English, something that you shouldn't be doing. Words like 'nani', 'kuso' and 'ohayo' are not just superfluous, they confuse many readers whilst adding nothing to your piece. Conversely, honorifics (when used consistently and correctly) can be very useful as the Naruto world has a pseudo-Japanese culture and there are no true equivalents in English, but even these are not really necessary. Technique names can be in either but I suggest you stick to one, just like sticking to either 'jutsu' or preferably 'technique' and 'art' instead where appropriate is a good idea. Mixing the two, especially in the same sentence seems very odd.
Another one, though less important than your mixing of languages, is pluralisation of Japanese words. For instance the plural of words like 'genin' and 'jutsu' are 'genin' and 'jutsu', not 'genins' and 'jutsus', just try saying them and you will know what I mean. Japanese doesn't do it the same way English does and applying the same rules almost always sounds awkward and stilted (though since words like ninja and shuriken have seeped into our culture a long time ago you can get away with pluralising them with an added s).
Despite my gripes with the presentation and the jarring disconnecttion I get from your story when I read a particularly bad Japanification that forces me to take notice of it, I really like this and will continue to read. Thanks for writing!
| Serendipity chapter 1 . 9/10/2013
Thank you S'Tarkan! I knew you hadn't forsaken us!
| Slytherin Potter chapter 1 . 9/8/2013
Im glad your back!
| SakuraKoi chapter 1 . 9/8/2013
| tim lee1 chapter 1 . 9/7/2013
Great chapter and concept here! I love the chapter and the writing style. It will be interesting to follow Naruto as you have put him into very different circumstances.
| roboguy45 chapter 1 . 9/6/2013
Kurenai could make Naruto a awesome ninja because she seems to make her team train, while her team has a clan full of jounin and chunin and their own jutsu Naruto has none and can be taught stuff she can come up with.
| dTalkingMeowthJ-Cat chapter 1 . 8/31/2013
Nice story, I've read first 16 chapters in one go! :))
| Guest chapter 1 . 8/31/2013
| Aynessa chapter 1 . 8/11/2013
I'm also a Naruto fan as well as a Potter fan, so thought I'd check out this story. Definitely liking it so far! It's nice to see Kurenai treating Naruto the way he really ought to have. Kakashi spent far too much time concentrating on Sasuke, and as a result Naruto's neglect became even more pronounced. I'm loving this idea of Kurenai focusing on him primarily, in order to cultivate his massive potential.
Also, I cracked up at the comment on the bottom. "The Plot That Will Not Die"...bahaha!
| Ultimate Rasengan chapter 1 . 8/10/2013
This story is what really gave me my motivation to make my own, I had always wanted to make a fanfic, but this really was the story that made me wanna do it. So I thank your for that, and this wonderful story.
I hope one day you'll find the motivation and time to come back to this story and update it. It really is great, and probably the best Naruto fic I've read.
| Guest chapter 1 . 8/9/2013
This is awesome! it's a NarutoxHinata right? Plz plz plz be!
| Fan Fan 92555 chapter 1 . 8/8/2013
tis is shti red mr grimjaw
| Alvin Nobody chapter 1 . 8/5/2013
good first chapter
| wesleycharles chapter 1 . 8/1/2013
Wow...this fic was written 7 years ago! I am just finding it now eventhough I have followed Naruto from the beginning. I will comment...but in reality I realize chances are nobody reads these anymore...especially with the volume of comments the story has recieved. The first chapter was amazing with the change in teams and teachers for Naruto. I guess that this was one of the original fanfics to attempt this? I like it.
| Tekinur chapter 1 . 7/28/2013
Nice Idea, good written. the characters are caught pretty good.
Im looking forward to read more!
| thebestsongwasntthesingle chapter 1 . 7/26/2013
Hey! Follow me and read my stories ! . thanks! *.*
| Biblio388 chapter 1 . 7/21/2013
Cool change of pace. I am really looking forward to seeing where the changes will take everyone.
| ristina.hinata chapter 1 . 7/16/2013
I really really like what i just did awesome story, your Naruto is a luckier kid,then the one in the original manga/anime.I feel- you have given the whole story ''another dimension?'' Thank you for doing this, please keep up the good work! I'm looking forward to , want to and will read more :-)
| CrystalBud chapter 1 . 7/4/2013
i love it :D
| gummibearderek chapter 1 . 7/2/2013
that is all.
thanks for your time and stuff.
| Dracoessa chapter 1 . 6/26/2013
Konoha! Heads up, mother hen's coming for your chicken nuggets.
| onlytoask chapter 1 . 6/24/2013
It seems good so far. And it doesn't matter much, but I'd go insane if I didn't say some thing so I'm going to. The japanese words you use like genin, chunin, jounin, shinobi, hokage, kunoichi, etc. don't have plural forms. The plural of genin is genin, not genins.
| BlitzTE chapter 1 . 6/18/2013
This is one of the best and most entertaining stories i've read on the site.
So this is a thank you from me to you.
| Vice Fandonna chapter 1 . 6/16/2013
Hello, basically I live at this boarding school with stupid protection system. For some reason chapter 6 has been blocked. Do not feel bad, it once blocked a site on desserts because ONE of the recipes contained alcohol (I had to research desserts for food tech). Anyway I'm asking if you could email chapter 6 as you chapters are long and contain a lot of information and i don't want to miss anything out.
I begging you, I don't like missing things out and I really want to read a complete version of this story. It would be brilliant if you could do that.
My email address (the spelling is correct, the name is African)
seyi _ owoso btinternet. com
Remember now spaces and it's and underscore not a dash
It would be very much appreciated.
| Guest chapter 1 . 6/5/2013
Tayyip İstifa! Defol!
| J.C Jackals chapter 1 . 6/4/2013
This is phenomenal, seriously. Beautiful, and I'm loving the details here.
| corpsedollie chapter 1 . 6/1/2013
Oh my word. This was the first chapter and it literally just blew my mind. I noticed that it says that the fanfiction is not complete but has been update 2011 last. I hope really that it's not Hiatus. This surely is one of the better fanfictions that I have read
| Shredjeep777 chapter 1 . 5/25/2013
Simply...wow. This is, by far, my favorite story on the sight, and of Naruto in general. Several have come close, but this one really captures the feel of the actually store and elaborates on everything that is brought up. I can barely wait for the next update. Keep up the tremendous work.
| RomWriter chapter 1 . 5/25/2013
so far so good
| Mohammad.Alzo chapter 1 . 4/19/2013
Is this story complete? Nothing more do I hate then awesome stories like this but incomplete.
| bigcutepanda chapter 1 . 4/9/2013
Definitely one of the best stories I have ever read. I love your plotline, the amount of description, and your writing style.
I hope you get back to updating soon as I am burning to find out what happens from here on out.
It's a bit disappointing that Kurenai had to die but if it is essential to the plotline of the story, I won't complain. Kurenai really grew on me while reading this story and i'm just sad to see her go.
Keep up the amazing work and hope to see a new chapter in the near future.
| hodges2 chapter 1 . 3/28/2013
luv it 3
| KagYasha4ever chapter 1 . 3/26/2013
This is an exceptional piece of writing. I stumbled across your work last night and stayed up reading. I was absolutely riveted. There are not many stories on this site as well-written and captivating as yours. I really do commend you. You have grappled with and mastered the characters and emotions of the genins so well it's amazing. You strike an excellent balance between emotion, comedy, and credibility that makes it seem as if your story could be substituted for the original. Seriously, you have done excellent excellent work. If you are planning to continue this story, I will certainly be glad to read it. I would love to know how it ends especially with Kurenai-sensei's sudden demise. BRAVO!
| SongofEmerald chapter 1 . 3/24/2013
Hey I love your story concept! Are you updating soon? Thanks for all the hard work!
| random-k chapter 1 . 3/23/2013
| ImmaneuelKanter chapter 1 . 3/17/2013
This story was a part of my childhood, more lasting in its influence than the actual series itself.
Applying for an English graduate level degree, hopefully to be followed up by an MFA in fiction.
Thank you for your work. Hope you find success as well. Very happy that you were published.
| inuyashalvrtoo chapter 1 . 3/10/2013
Love it. I love hoe in depth you portray the characters, its very nice. I will definetly keep reading.
| VivatRex chapter 1 . 3/9/2013
Well, I'm diving back into my first fandom after being absent for roughly five years. I missed the Naruto-verse. This is fantastic. You've really drawn attention to the neglect Naruto's been through. This appears to be heading in the NaruHina direction, which is fine by me. Your writing style is easy to read and flows well, and I'm looking forward to the rest of this.
| Nuttogreen chapter 1 . 3/3/2013
Wow! That was really, really good! I didn't expect to like it very much with Naruto's Jonin sensei being Kurenai, but I'm finding I almost like it better! Great job!
| helenburnsorgtfo chapter 1 . 2/26/2013
| InflatedChimp chapter 1 . 2/11/2013
So far, I like :)
I've often thought of writing this story myself but with Kiba staying with Hinata and Naruto rather than Shino. Problem is I'm not only a slow writer/typer I get blocks easily and am not very good any way :P
So I'm hoping this will live up to my expectations :D Though judging from word count and time since publish you're as slow as me :D
| FollieOfMadness chapter 1 . 2/4/2013
XD I remember the feeling, Kurenai. Two minutes of Naruto's life for me made me want to start, KILLING PEOPLE. YOU KNOW!? AND THEN YOU GET REALLY FUCKING PISSED OFF AND SHIT. WHY AM I SHOUTING? I DON'T KNOW BUT I DON'T FUCKING CARE!
This was really good. Not going to lie; this was in fact, a pretty damn well done first chapter. I can only hope that this gets better with age, as Wine does. :P It's already intoxicating.
| BellaBlatevi chapter 1 . 1/26/2013
This is so awesome! After reading this, I wish that the actual storyline went this way! I love your fanfiction!
| Dead account no longer here chapter 1 . 1/24/2013
U got over 11 thousand reviews?! Damn man, I knew u were talented by reading this but god damn! This is the most I've seen for any story. I would give u something but atlas, I'm busy. My review will just have to do.
| ukmitten44 chapter 1 . 1/24/2013
this an amazing story
| Alexa Sears Nemurenai chapter 1 . 1/17/2013
Kurenai is an even more awesome sensei than I had originally given her credit for! I knew she'd get along with Naruto, because in Naruto Ultimate Ninja 3 (I do believe that's considered canon), Kurenai interacted similarly with him as is demonstrated in this chapter.
Seeing this perspective, I really am starting to get the impression that being assigned to Team 7 might've been Naruto drawing the short stick, YET AGAIN. I mean, his entire squad neglected him! Sakura ignored him, scorned him. Sasuke was a rival, but not exactly a positive influence. Kakashi just wanted to get rid of Naruto, because he was obsessed with Suck-suke. Even Jiraiya, with all his similarities and connections to Naruto, as Naruto's best tutor, was sorely lacking as a authority figure. Poor Naruto. Makes his story even sadder. :(
| I'm Naruto Dude chapter 1 . 1/1/2013
| Thatonechick chapter 1 . 12/31/2012
Some of your info in the first chapter is wrong. And I hate it when people have wrong info so I had to stop reading sorry please fix it
| Lazurman chapter 1 . 12/31/2012
Woot! From HP to Naruto!
| landofrayne chapter 1 . 12/24/2012
Omg this nearly made me cry and I'm only on the first chapter.
It is SO nice to see Naruto treated with this much love.
Kurenai and Hinata must be two of the sweetest females on planet earth.
Shino is utterly adorable here, you just put him on a team with adorable softies man.
I cannot wait to see the changes in the Naruto world that you've created here.
I haven't really ever considered this point of view before. It has usually just been like an unspoken
rule that Naruto belonged on team seven. And if not, that then team Kakashi.
So now hes on a different team, this is promising to be very interesting.
Not only that but these chapters are extremely long. This is going to be great.
Damn I want more, this just makes me so happy.
| iddi chapter 1 . 12/19/2012
| Amer Leon chapter 1 . 12/15/2012
big change from the original and a very interesting one. this would make big differences right away in naruto's and hinata's outlook and personality.i like the writing, well done:)
| Guest chapter 1 . 12/13/2012
Y U NO UPDATE TEAM 8?
i know you've been updating your Harry Potter story recently and i just wanted to see this fic continuing as well...
you really left it at a mean cliffhanger and i am dying of anticipation to see what happens next. i admit i started this fic with much doubt but your writing blew me away. i cannot express my love for this story. truly well-written and would be even better if you continued :)
| goldspears chapter 1 . 12/6/2012
The progress of your story is really slow.
| Hanae-Kasumi-Kohana chapter 1 . 12/6/2012
omg, i love this story, its so cute!
| chocopaste chapter 1 . 12/3/2012
me likey so far :3
| anime lover 239 chapter 1 . 11/27/2012
| Professor-Inkblot95 chapter 1 . 11/18/2012
I love this story, I think that the plot twists are original and that the way you handle the stress and loss of the characters can not be called anything but realistic.
| don't worry about my name chapter 1 . 11/12/2012
11,000 reviews and only 21 chapters? That's pretty amazing, not to mention unheard of. To be quite honest with you I'm impressed. Your writing style is elegant, hardly any errors, but your storyline is suckish. I mean you put it together quite well but your idea isn't very good... at all. You can do better. I know you can, so please do. Make another story about a naruto/ino paring please. Your a very good author and I want to see how you would be able to handle a request such as this. I'm sure your story would be very interesting as well. But anyways back to commenting on your story. There's nothing really left to say. Its alright to be honest, but I think some things could've been changed a tweeked with a little. Well anyways
, please accept my request and don't take offensive to my comment. Now its time for me to doze off and catch me some of that, what you call, beauty sleep. Seyonara Senorita or Senora or... yeah bye!
| Sessha chapter 1 . 11/11/2012
This really is a beautiful story, so well thought out. The effort you must have put in it... wouldn't it be a waste if this goes to the grave of unfinished fanfics? I really do hope you can consider continuing this.
Good luck in all your future writings, God knows you have the talent.
| Snare646 chapter 1 . 11/11/2012
Any chance you're going to complete this story? I've read it before and added it to my favorites and all, now after a while I'd like to read it again, but I don't know if I will bring myself to do it knowing it is still incomplete. It's a great story, and it would be a shame for it not to have an ending. It's kind of like a child of yours that you just gave up on and left it to flounder on its own. Anyway, can you let me know what your plans are please? Thanks!
| random ness chapter 1 . 11/11/2012
1) say your name 10 times
2) say your moms name 5 times
3) say your crushes name 3 times
4) PASTE THIS TO FOUR OTHER COMMENTS. IF YOU DO THIS. YOUR CRUSH WILL KISS YOU ON THE NEAREST... FRIDAY. BUT IF YOU READ THIS AND Don't PASTE IT YOU WILL HAVE BAD. LUCK. SEND THIS TO FIVE COMMENTS IN 143 MINUTES. WHEN YOU'RE DONE PRESS F6. AND YOUR CRUSH'S NAME WILL APPEAR IN BIG LETTERS
| Danyelle chapter 1 . 10/30/2012
This is an amazing story and I hope you can finish it sometime. If naruto ever had a different plot it would have been this story. In fact I bet some people would have liked it even more.
| Theralion chapter 1 . 10/26/2012
The fic gets off to a good start, and nicely establishes the concept- that Naruto is now on Kurenai's team in Kiba's place and that various events in the past have been altered.
The gratuitous Japanese sometimes gets annoying. I would only use it if the term doesn't quite translate well into English, or for certain terms(ninjas could use "jutsus" or "techniques"). The honorifics, however, are appropriate, since the choice (or lack) of one when referring to someone says a great deal about a person's politeness and regard for the addressee. However, I've noticed characters often go back and forth between calling others by their first or last names, and choosing different honorifics.
I liked Kurenai’s speech to Naruto about having to lead and protect even the people who hated him. It’s quite prophetic of the issues he faces when confronting Dark Naruto, when he wonders why the villagers who hated him treat him like a hero. I also liked the indication that the children of the village distrust Naruto largely because they see their parents acting this way toward him; the Third Hokage cannot completely counteract human nature, especially when it's implied that every living adult at the time of the nine-tailed fox attack knows who has the fox sealed inside him.
I do have to wonder what Naruto did for himself, or the village did for him in the 12 years between when he was born and when he graduated from the academy in the first episode. It would have been nice to see a bit of exposition on it in canon, and I like that you're willing to look at filling in this gap.
The part about the jumpsuit doesn't seem completely necessary, since hardly any of the ninja use terrain-appropriate camouflage. I've always been irked when people harp on this point when criticizing the series, but you're hardly the only one that's mentioned this.
So far, I see quite a bit of attention to detail and thought, making it a well-constructed AU and a good story.
| Guest chapter 1 . 10/23/2012
I hear sequel
| shootie shootie powpow desu ka chapter 1 . 10/21/2012
Wow, I really loved this from chapter one alone. I ope you can update soon!
| Anon chapter 1 . 10/12/2012
Briliiant, brilliant. I was just mortified to see how long this has been left, not updated. The chapter one alone made me want to marry you! OMG! Please be a good writer and update soon, please,please!
| LoveMadness chapter 1 . 10/9/2012
Wow! That's a lot of reviews... Let's see...
| Lord Morozco chapter 1 . 10/6/2012
I just had to see for myself the "most viewed and reviewed naruto fic of all time" with my own eyes. A simple but effective idea. I am curious to where you will take it.
| silentkillerofcookies chapter 1 . 10/6/2012
I love your story.
| Guest chapter 1 . 9/26/2012
that trademark symbol that came after the sasuke fan club made me snort out applejuice from my nose...im so ashamed Dx
| greendragonking002 chapter 1 . 9/15/2012
good story bro
| yome- san chapter 1 . 9/4/2012
i just realized i read this before O.o
| immortal chord chapter 1 . 8/20/2012
i love your manga so far! i hope naruto acknowledge's hinatas feelings and become a couple in the future!
| Otaku4now chapter 1 . 8/15/2012
Sword art online Role Play
| BlackestMorning chapter 1 . 7/29/2012
DAMMMM THIS IS MY FIRST TIME EVER SEEING SOMEBODY GET OVER 7k reviWes I AM VERY IMPRESSED. KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK.
| shashank chapter 1 . 7/23/2012
this so awsome
| Shark8 chapter 1 . 7/15/2012
Nice intro into a fascinating alternate universe. It's very solidly written and, might I say, quite engaging.
My favorite part was the line: "If he was able to break into the Hokage's office and make off with a heavily guarded scroll… it makes me wonder how hard that test is," - humorous and makes a good point.
There was a little disconnect near the end when Naruto started talking about the fox; as I understand it he doesn't know about the fox at this point in time. (Though it has been a few years since I watched season 1 of Naruto, so I could very well be wrong.)
Overall though, excellent work; looking forward to reading ch 2.
| Kyuubi16 chapter 1 . 7/14/2012
Hey, we at Yourfanfiction would love it if you started posting your works there as well. It has an MA-rating, meaning unrated works can be posted there and we hope you coming there would increase the exposure.
| Guest chapter 1 . 7/11/2012
FYI, just started this, really liking it and I like his orange! It grew on me
| farce909 chapter 1 . 7/11/2012
Simply phenomenal. I love it and can't find fault with it in any way. I wait with bated breath for another update.
| ddreamer9159 chapter 1 . 6/14/2012
hmmmm interesting i will make sure to reaad this
| Guest chapter 1 . 6/8/2012
| Gyromice89 chapter 1 . 6/5/2012
I really like you're story so please don't let all you're hard work diappear. Save you're chapters in some file on you're computer!
•Please note we would like to clarify the content policy we have in place since 2002. follows the Fiction Rating system ranging from Fiction K to Fiction M. Although Fiction Ratings goes up to Fiction MA, since 2002 has not allowed Fiction MA rated content which can contain adult/explicit content on the site. only accepts content in the Fiction K through Fiction M range. Fiction M can contain adult language, themes and suggestions. Detailed descriptions of physical interaction of sexual or violent nature is considered Fiction MA and has not been allowed on the site since 2002.
| Veronyka18 chapter 1 . 5/30/2012
Wow this looks really interesting!
| DivineDeity chapter 1 . 5/23/2012
I find it interesting that you chose to spare Sarutobi, and in his place kill off Kurenai. I say that because, this entire story is based off of a single turning point. That being the death of Kurenai's team and sensei, which has yet to be resolved. My question, is how exactly do you plan on wrapping up that portion of the story? As far as we know, Kurenai, Ibiki, and Sarutobi are the only ones who know anything about that incident. The incident couldn't even be resolved without evidence, which Kurenai had yet to find. I just think (if you decided to finish the story) it'll be harder in the long run to adequately bring that plot to a close with her dead.
SMALL SPOILER BELOW:
I also have a feeling you killed her off with the intentions of bringing her back via the resurrection jutsu that Kabuto uses in the manga/anime. I could be wrong, but even I think that would make for a pretty interesting fight.
| NoneAvailable chapter 1 . 5/20/2012
I just finished re-reading this story for my third time. It's so sad to see what to me has been the best Naruto fanfic so far (And that's extremely hard to say). I know you faced a lot of heat for what happened at the end, but is there any way you'll continue this?)
| blklover chapter 1 . 5/13/2012
| Alpenwolf chapter 1 . 5/6/2012
well said asuma well said ... and well said kurenai well said
| AuraLucario chapter 1 . 4/26/2012
Well, this certainly looks interesting. Shino's initial response, though somewhat expected, was still rather disconcerting. By Kami, Hiashi is a cruel man. I really liked Kurenai's use of 'evil eyes' to exact some petty vengeance on those blasted shopkeepers. Very well written first chapter, and I am going to start reading the next.
| Guardian Soul chapter 1 . 4/10/2012
I'm impressed so far and judging by the amount of reviews for your story, I can guess I'm in for a treat.
(seriously, 10,000 reviews? Holy shit!)
| kattycha01 chapter 1 . 4/2/2012
Look's promising, I hope Haku will go with naruto.
Well, time to find out.
| zeonista13 chapter 1 . 3/21/2012
This story was one of the first Naruto fanfigs I read when I returned to the field after some years' absence. It immediately became a favorite. So this review, like much of my correspondence, is somewhat belated. I may comment on some more chapters, as well, later.
For this one, I was intrigued by the hook of having Naruto in Hinata's team. (I have the outline of a story that is the reverse, we may be able to compare and contrast later. _) AQlthough I was never a Kakashi-basher and desirous to see naruto in a different team, the idea of having Kurenai as the jonin-sensei instead of kakashi made things...interesting. I did like the established characteristic of Kurenai having something to prove, both as a new jonin and a sensei. It gave her a goal and motive that made her a fuller character. (I don't blame Kishsimoto for thin backgrounds, the man has to have 16 illustrated pages ready on a biweekly basis.) It was also fun watching her decide to look after Naruto as well as Hinata, even if it was mainly for Hinata's benefit.
Regarding the revised team 8 dynamic, switching Naruto for Kiba was a good choice, since it swapped one dynamic natural-leader character for another. Pity poor Hinata and Kurenai on a team with both the hyper-competitive Kiba and Naruto on it. _ I liked Shino's initial neutral-negative reaction to Naruto, which would have been the case as per anime episode 2-3. As for Hinata, you instantly found favor with me by not having them immediately drawn together, or having Naruto suddenly realize Hinata was girlfriend material. True love is the work of time, not a glance across the storied crowded room. _
The skills test was fun, with predictable results after Naruto went for broke on the Kage Bunshin again. Good rationale on naruto's sloppy combat technique; Kishimoto seems to have taken the typical Japanese school to task for preferential treatment, both good and bad. Good fanfic writers know it, and use it as a springboard for the training Naruto needs to become the hero we all know he will be. Of course you hated on the orange jumpsuit, which I find a curious dislike among many writers. Nothing else said "look at me" like that refugee from a bad rap video, and combined with his whisker-marks they were a clue as to his status as jinchuuriki. (The other jinchuuriki also tended to wear colors like their bijuu, although that was a recent discovery for me.) And despite the bright color, he never had problems with being stealthy...at least when he wanted to be.
I've actually eaten real ramen (as per Ichiraku) before, not just the instant kind. Depending on the menu choices, it is possible to get a good meal, or at least the high-carb, high-protein, high-energy load a growing genin could use to get himself through the day. Although if Kurenai made him eat an apple or banana on the side, it wouldn't hurt!
| Lyne chapter 1 . 3/7/2012
Please continue this story, because you are an excelent author, and your writing is a delight to read. many thanks for the utterly excelent story.
| Rokudaime Raikage chapter 1 . 2/29/2012
Awesome chapter and story, I just don't really understand why you would have Shino in team 8. It's not that I don't like him, but I think it would've been better if you added Kiba or Shikamaru in the team.
But anyway I will continue to read this story because it's very interesting, and it looks great, hopefully you will update soon, because I think I will be at the last chapter in notime.
(Sry for bad English btw)
| StormyRebel chapter 1 . 2/18/2012
Love your story so far, I just have a little thing.
When talking about the villages, its either "the leaf", "the hidden leaf", "the village hidden in the leaves" or "the hidden leaf village"
It's not something big, but I like when names are straight :)
Keep up the good work
| Tomoe Mami chapter 1 . 2/7/2012
Hi, you can call me Katie. I chanced upon your fic “Team 8” when I expressed my desire to write a Naruto fic with team changes and one of my friends provided me with the link to it.
I have a couple of questions for you and I’m hoping you’re able to answer them.
(1) Are you going to continue it? I ask because it’s a damn fine story you’ve written and I love it to bits, not to mention I want to see how the rest of the story pans out.
(2) Are you going to plan any other pairings, like the NarutoxHinata coupling you’ve already done? I would suggest ShikamaruxTemari, ShinoxIno or KankuroxSakura, but that’s just my thoughts.
All in all, it’s a very well written fanfiction, but I’d like to say with my version, Shino and Hinata are going to be very different than their canon idealizations.
| Savvy chapter 1 . 1/30/2012
I can easily say that this is one of the best fanfictions i have ever read and definetly the best AU one i have ever read.
I prefer this version of Naruto to the real one actually...wwwaayyyyy more.
If you original stories are this good, then the people at book publishing companies are real idiots. I love the emotional depth and changes the characters undergo and how these changes in the naruto reality have made (from my opinion) them all that much stronger.
I have been entranced, reading this fic nearly non stop. I hope you can update soon.
| Ciel chapter 1 . 1/30/2012
I have to say, it really is a novel concept and the writting is exellent.
| Guest chapter 1 . 1/24/2012
Right, you obviously are still a writer, so WHY THE HELL DID YOU ABANDON YOUR AMAZING HARRY POTTER STORY? if you gave up, at least tell us.
| flower.kat chapter 1 . 1/18/2012
just started this fic and hoping that you'll continue on with it as it caught my attention.
it really does suck when good fics aren't finished
| ranbo neal chapter 1 . 1/12/2012
Excellent plot and super well written story! It all makes sense even to a dedicated naruto (and hinata) manga and anime follower. I love your style and creativity.
| Thrythlind chapter 1 . 1/5/2012
Team 8...Naruto as it should be
| Leilsel97 chapter 1 . 12/28/2011
I like your ideas and how you've picked Yuuhi-chan to be Naruto's sensei and care giver :) I also liked this chapters length, detail, and quality.
| BullC6 chapter 1 . 12/28/2011
| Kubla Khun chapter 1 . 12/17/2011
I just finished reading your whole story. It has been quiet a journey up til now. I remember being very into your main harry potter story a while back but as it was still unfinished I just assumed you were leaving it. Then I go to find you have this wonderful gem written here. I am a convert. You one of the best fan fiction writers I have read. *Applauds* Even if you dont write more you leave so much to dream and muse about with your storys and I would normally never say this but even if they remain unfinished I am overjoyed to have read them. That being said, your last chapter made me cry. I keep waiting for them to kill Iruka sensei in the anime because of shock factor. I adore how cool you have made Shino. Normally the least gone on about character in the series as far as students go but you made him such a bad ass. I didnt read a single part of the story that I had issues with. ITS A REIMAGINING! Nothing has to go a certain way...haha no bridge named after Naruto...:) So good job. I hope your health is well and that you are good. I know its weird to think about some random person reading and writing what you have writen and never getting to speak with them. I hope people like my storys so I just wanted to pass on the good Karma and say if I were able to I would make you cookies or cupcakes and tell you what a good job you are doing. *A stack of rejection letters should be worn with pride, you are doing better then most at least you are trying! So GOOD FOR YOU!
| TheAnimeSister chapter 1 . 12/10/2011
Awesome story! But i have one thing to say...WHY AREN'T YOU UPDATING! T.T
| sheerionator chapter 1 . 11/27/2011
Wow this is really good i love it great story line its amazing ahhh i just love it
| Amberkisses chapter 1 . 11/19/2011
Just found this story and I have to say, it's one of my favorites. Looking forward to the next chapter and thanks for writing.
| BoutsofInsanity42 chapter 1 . 11/13/2011
adding to favorites
| Chibi Raikiri chapter 1 . 10/15/2011
Awesome story. Just awesome!
| anonymous chapter 1 . 10/8/2011
i read this story a loooong time ago and i don't feel like reading it again
but it was great.
| Neon Majestic chapter 1 . 10/4/2011
Hello, good afternoon. I first saw a page for this story on the TV Tropes website, so I decided to come check it out here on this site. And so far, it seems to be of good quality, and a welcome break from the Naruto canon (which, so far, is largely depressing as of late, especially with the newest manga chapters).
I very much enjoy Kurenai's interactions with Naruto so far. Even if I've spoiled the eventual outcome of the story for myself via the TV Tropes info already, I'm still looking forward to see the progress of the story in person.
One question, though: wasn't Naruto NOT aware of the fox being inside him before meeting Jiraiya, in the canon? That he knows about it here seems a little odd, to me.
| Angels will bleed from pain chapter 1 . 10/4/2011
Nice nice..I'm interested now..
| YumiDoesTheMacarena chapter 1 . 10/1/2011
Wow! This is amazing. It's well-written and interesting; the characters are their typically idly hilarious selves (an achievement in and of itself!) so it is a lot of fun to read. There are a few details that don't quite match up with the events at the beginning of the series (in addition to the obvious changes required for the storyline) but this is AU, so it's not really a problem. :) I'm very glad that I stumbled across this. Just one chapter and I'm already hooked!
| Sarcasm Dragon chapter 1 . 9/22/2011
Well, this is obviously a quality story. I can tell from the first chapter. Great way to set things up and I am looking forward to a great story. I'm a little leery of the author's note saying Naruto's personality will start to change, but if your characterization in chapter 1 is an indication, you'll do it right.
Thanks for writing and making this available to read. I'll drop a few comments on some chapters as I go through. :)
| nicoleb chapter 1 . 9/2/2011
| magykalheart chapter 1 . 8/24/2011
nice story so far
| SnowKissed chapter 1 . 8/18/2011
I really need the next one! I read all the chpaters in like an hour and am freaked out cause they last update was seven months ago! This is fab! I really need the next one!
| mizuraikage chapter 1 . 8/14/2011
| iitrnr chapter 1 . 8/13/2011
| Guest chapter 1 . 8/13/2011
I Dont really like OOC Naruto but i guess ill have to deal with it *Sigh* Love The Chapter
| Reinamy chapter 1 . 8/4/2011
Ooh, this was just spectacular! By far one of the best (if not THE best) Naruto fanfics I've ever read. And I rarely read Het (Slash and Gen only) so that's saying something.
Please update soon, S'TarKan. I truly cannot wait for the next chapter.
Oh, and JSYK, I started reading this story this morning (have been reading pretty much non-stop). Needless to say, I was riveted.
| Draco Oblivion chapter 1 . 7/28/2011
I forgot about how hilarious the first few episodes were... I love this story though, for one it's a great idea plus it has a great mix of humour and emotion. I think the idea of Kurenai taking Naruto under her wing is great too and I think it'll be interesting to see more of her and to see how Naruto will develop. Anyways, I'm looking forward to reading more :D
| bella-chan16 chapter 1 . 7/24/2011
i love u ur the 1st person to mention naruto's outfit i mean i know its an anime but really the thing is fucking orange and hes a fucking ninja he really should be dead by now god i love u and NaruHina all the way
| Moon Witch '96 chapter 1 . 7/19/2011
Dear Mr. Matthew,
I have to say that you are by far one, if not the best writer I have come across in my short time of reading Fan Fiction. I have read both HP&NFP, and all of Team 8. And I was never disapointed. You write in your own way, but never stary away from what I guess to be the origanal tone of the story you're writting. Granted sometimes you seem to write kids a little too old, but given the way they were raised/trained it's ok. I love the way you put a story and I say KUDOS to you. I know you heard this a lot, but please update, or at least message me to tell me if your not going to countine either of the stories...(It might make me cry if you do.) ANYWAY, I love how you make the character's emotions, and how you show more than one point of view. Thank you for writing these wonderful stories.
| Haseo chapter 1 . 7/18/2011
can not beat this work
| Isangtao chapter 1 . 7/16/2011
I read your story, and I was impressed. Very impressed.
For me this is an Outstanding work.
The idea that Naruto would be placed in Team 8 is not new, but you took it to a whole new level by being this faithful to completing you story.
It even inspired a spin-off by DarkSwordMage, with Hinata being the Jinchuriki.
The plot follows the canon storyline somewhat, but it's difference in the manga is both obvious and subtle. Obvious in that you yourself stated it's an AU, yet the difference is sometimes barely felt.
I saw no spelling mistakes and the characters are true their canon personalities.
I am saddened by you killing off Kurenai, are you going to bring her back by some jutsu in the near future?
| Tamaki chapter 1 . 7/14/2011
I am aware that the fact that you are older may shield you from the effects of more negatively driven "constructive critism" (along with the fact you have not visibly shown any self-esteem issues, unless you are the same author that mentions that reviews will help you update faster, but then again that was said in more of a positive manner, so it is something I will have to think about more thoroughly... XXDDDDD), I do not appreciate one review sent to you.
I will not list the name because I have no desire to start a fight, and I believe should give constructive critism, as well as being allowed to voicing their own opinion.
Just when that opinion discounts the view of others, feelings of others, and disregards anothers work, making a masterpiece look more like smears of paint is... unacceptable.
There are of course things that any authoress or author can improve on, and I am happy people are willing to point out to you things that people question or wish to have improved on (like if Hinata will train with Tsunade instead of Sakura now).
Well, my duty is pretty much to boast about your masterpiece. I loved the character development, and the subtle ways they change. For example, Naruto didn't really think as much and was a bit more... reactive in the canon. However, after him thinking a lot on,"Thinking underneath the underneath," you see this mantra slowly becoming ingrained in his being, where he no longer has to rely on that phrase to help him think. This development was beautiful and truly showed when Naruto faced Tsunade, and mentioned how she used more than one finger to defeat him instead of the initial "deal" of one.
I'm also looking forward to seeing Tsunade realize the characters of Team 8. Her interpretation of Hinata at first glance is hilarious. Although it makes sense for Tsunade to first assume Hinata would be haughty and that Jiraiya (pardon the spelling) would owe Hinata favours, it's still amusing since she is nothing like that... especially after the proposition made. I am curious to see how Tsunade will view them (especially with the information given now) and I like your explanation as to why Naruto's godfather has not been present in his life (it is possible you got this from the Shippuden series, but... eh. I will admit I was one of those crazy people who only watched the anime -feared getting viruses- and endured the two years and one hundred episodes of fillers... _O I still cringe in memory of that. It kind of killed the anime for me...)
But anyway, yeah! I do hope this does not put too much pressure on you since you need to take time with your life as well, just an update in the future is a nice gift if possible.
Anyway, see ya! I hoped you enjoyed this other voice in the crowd. XD
| the man who is no man chapter 1 . 7/11/2011
your idea is well thought out good job
| ramenflowers chapter 1 . 7/2/2011
I like this.
| another wannabe author chapter 1 . 6/25/2011
Woow... I know you gets loads of reviews and you probably aren't going to read this one, but wow.
| cruailsama chapter 1 . 6/20/2011
id be shocked if you ever finish this fic
| MisquotedWarrior chapter 1 . 6/18/2011
Un. Be. Leivable. This fic is astounding. . and I am only on the first chapter! I need to stop allowing the anxeity to eat me up and read on .
| Amaxo chapter 1 . 6/10/2011
woohoo go Naruto
| kail420 chapter 1 . 6/5/2011
| ssldjdaf chapter 1 . 6/3/2011
How can you not update this wonderful story that has over 10k reviews? Goodness! Please, it would be a delight to all of us to have you review this. :) Great read.
| Hydro Dexter chapter 1 . 5/13/2011
EPIC! I'm not a huge fan of Naruto, but this is awesome! I've been having trouble writing fanfics, but this has given me some light in writing! Also, I've always wondered how Naruto would be with a different mentor!
| rangednogood chapter 1 . 5/3/2011
| Hyp3rB14d3 chapter 1 . 4/27/2011
With most fanfics, the first few chapters are crap, and one has to wait until several chapters in before they can make a decision on whether or not they're going to like the fix. This is not one of those fics. I can tell that this is going to be incredible.
| justin the constant reviewer chapter 1 . 4/26/2011
i likie it
| TiramisuSam chapter 1 . 4/14/2011
Gah this was just amazing wow fabulous. I cant even form sentences it was so awesometastic. I love this idea and it is just extremely well written, which is always appreciated when your on the internet. I really like this :D
| xGlass chapter 1 . 4/14/2011
Brilliant! I saw on your profile you like Eddings? Love them. The Belgariad is my favorite book series of all time.
This story idea is fantastic. Kurenai is exactly what Naruto needs, and I have often wondered if Kakashi's team was the right place for Naruto. I'm so excited there's so much more of this story to read.
| MinoAcid chapter 1 . 4/13/2011
"now she'll get a chance to see how it's like to be ignored and despised"
Uwa. Just this line was enough to get me hooked. Alright, to reading then!
Kurenai stands up for Naruto. (*v*)
| FullMentalPanic chapter 1 . 4/2/2011
Not that it seems you need more reviews, but you always say that it encourages you. Plus I have a personal policy that I can't favorite something unless I've reviewed it. I have read as much as you've posted so far, but if I really like something I like to give some feedback on each chapter. Also, just so you know, my Naruto knowledge is virtually all drawn from fanfiction and parodies, so I'm not 100% stable on canon. That's just to say that I may attribute original story elements to your own personal creativity!
This whole chapter is just rife with character development, rendered in both a humorous and serious style. Kakashi's laziness, Asuma's smoking, Kurenai's analysis, you do a great job of making sure all the jonins are just as well rounded and human as the genins. "It seemed to her that the more skilled the ninja, the more eccentric their personal habits became. It also made her wonder if her own ambitions to improve her skills would become ultimately self-destructive." Great illustration of Kakashi and of Kurenai's thought processes. What you've done with Kurenai's back story is intriguing. You dole out enough information for us to have a good idea of what's going on, but the reader still knows that there's a lot more to be told. The hints that Kurenai and Kakashi have shared experiences of pain was good, what was even better was how Kurenai still doesn't let it excuse his behavior. I like Iruka quite a bit in this, as well as the logic he employs for convincing the higher ups that Naruto shouldn't be faulted for listening to a sensei. It's very appreciated to hear Kurenai's concern over placing Naruto in a team that will treat him with respect and compassion. It heightens your respect for her as both a jonin and a character. "For such a one to be attracted to a ruffian like the one who bore the kyuubi was an ineradicable smear on her family's honor. Good for her." Good bit that, and I like how it cheers up Kurenai.
At this point your story flows from one character's perspective to another without any marker of the said changing perspective. Although the reader can figure out pretty easily that there's been a time jump, or that Hinata is the one speaking instead of Kurenai, putting a page break or something equivalent would clean it up.
You do a great job writing from Hinata's perspective, how everything is colored by her perception of her own inadequacies and how she receives very little affirmation from those who should be closest to her. On top of that, you don't overuse her stuttering. She is shy, but having to read copious amounts of, "A-a-a-ano, I-I th-think, m-m-ma-maybe," can get very annoying for the reader. You use her shyness to just the right effect, nicely done. "He tried so hard that it broke her heart to see him fail." Hinata is also a very effective character for getting poignant moments across, she takes things in and her empathy communicates to the audience. Again, you don't overuse her tragic elements. If she was mopey and bemoaning her uselessness the whole time, you'd lose patience with her. However, she really tries and strives to succeed, so the audience is on her side. The way she keeps bringing extra food so that maybe she can share with Naruto was a sweet detail. Good use of the dialogue between Shino and Hinata for plot development. The part where Hinata asserts that Naruto is going to Hokage someday, very nice character building. She will speak out, but not on her own behalf.
"Out of my way!" Sakura snarled as she elbowed him to the floor so she could sit next to Uchiha Sasuke." This is a great line. Sakura's can really be so nasty and self-centered, but at the same time it's quite funny. Naruto's assessment and low opinion of the famed Sasuke was amusing as well. Sasuke's arrogance, and disinclination to report on anything that would show he was inadequate was nicely portrayed. In the midst of that, you have an excellent scene between Naruto and Sakura. Naruto's esteem for Sakura's physical beauty, and the contrast in her personality that led to the whole, "Naruto didn't trust his voice at that moment as he felt his heart shrivel up and blow away." It was a great depiction of a young kid meeting with this type of heartache for the first time. Plus, it's nice to see him wise up to her nastiness.
"I dislike loud drunks and people who think I can't be an effective ninja because I'm a woman." Unless this is how she says it in the original, I think that Kurenai explicitly stating how much she dislikes people who disrespect her for her gender was a little heavy handed. I'd go more for a, "I dislike people who base my effectiveness on my gender instead of my skills." Still, maybe she's the type of character who just says things as they are.
"Naruto nudged the Aburame boy. Shino's head snapped around at Naruto so quickly the blond flinched back. Kurenai wondered if the bug-user was used to any sort of human contact. " I like the development of Shino, how you get the idea that there's stuff going on under the surface, and how he's also dealt with a certain brand of shunning. The interest that Kurenai takes in Naruto is a great mix of professional and compassionate. She's determined to train him the right way and give him the equipment he needs, like vegetables, but she's also cares about him personally. Good depiction of how she makes sure to answer all of her students' questions in a non-ridiculing manner, she has all the makings of a great leader. Thanks for bringing up the improbability of the orange jumpsuit! Also, very good supposition on how Naruto ended up with it, that it may have been a deliberate attempt to sabotage his career as a ninja. The story flows well and is engaging, really, excellent job.
| WWW chapter 1 . 3/20/2011
Your story is the best NARUTO FIC. I'm Naruhina fan.
I love this story whether they get together or not.
Just don't including Harem shit like other macho idiots.
| adrogoz chapter 1 . 3/19/2011
Kakashi was a great teacher and I object to your comment that states otherwise. But the story itself is brilliant
| Foxwell chapter 1 . 3/12/2011
Wow. Just. Wow.
This is amazing!
| TheZeitgeist chapter 1 . 3/2/2011
I like the premise, and it's very well written. I'm waiting for an update!
| Wydra-and-MashumelloKage chapter 1 . 3/2/2011
Please, please, PLEASE update! I've waited for forever! I need to know what happens next! I love this story, and consider it one of the few gems I have come across... now that I have(hopefully) stroked your ego, will you update? * puppy dog eyes*
| Tracer chapter 1 . 3/2/2011
| saya.sen chapter 1 . 2/20/2011
I absolutely love this story! You've really developed Shino and Hinata's characters, and I like how you've used their respective families to do so. I really wish Kurenai hadn't died so quickly- I can hardly imagine how they'll continue without her. But at the same time, I'm extremely curious to see how they'll continue without her. All in all, I'm very excited to read more of this!
| killswitchtheory chapter 1 . 2/13/2011
What does ooc mean?
| CielBerlitz chapter 1 . 2/10/2011
This seems like it's going to be an amazing story, but I'm just wondering what's going to happen without Sasuke there... I mean, wasn't most of Naruto's growth a direct result from the rivalry with Sasuke?
Anyway, I don't really care. I was just wondering.
Can't wait to read on!
| Echelon9 chapter 1 . 2/7/2011
Reading the first chapter got me thinking that Naruto might actually be a good fit for a recon team. In the origional series his fighting style was quite boisterous, but in Shippuden it evoles into something more subtle with his skills with the shadow clones.
Jiraiya had been well known for his recon abilities, and he had been Naruto's teacher after all.
| nibijinchuuriki chapter 1 . 2/4/2011
This is realy awesome..you obviously put in alot of effort...so thanx!
| naash chapter 1 . 2/3/2011
wow i absolutely love the twist
| fanofthisfiction chapter 1 . 2/2/2011
Bravo! I like the way the beginnings of the Naruto story were teased into this tale and with the twist of having Naruto on Team 8, it is sure to take on a new life. The history of his being was more than adequately covered and the telling of this chapter from Kurenai Sensei's eyes worked particularly well. The prose glides quite smoothly as does the dialogue. I appreciate the T rating as it makes it open to a wide readership. I can't wait to read on, although due to time constraints on my own part, it may take a little longer. I can tell it will be well worth it. Over 10,516 reviews is quite remarkable!
| Falco12 chapter 1 . 1/30/2011
Hiashi is an ass good story I hope hiashi fights Itachi as well and get his ass kicked bad. They he will think twice before stoping Hinata from helping her team mate.
| Almon chapter 1 . 1/28/2011
Another awesome as always. When I saw my notification that a new chapter was up I was overjoyed. Thank you for your hard work. I like how this story is moving. I am curious about who will take over as Sensei to Team 8 though. Looking forward to the next chapter.
| Jinsoku chapter 1 . 1/19/2011
Beautiful downer. My joy at your update was tempered by the sadness choking up the chapter. Still, I'm pleased to see that you're back.
| Rixxell Stryfe chapter 1 . 1/19/2011
Nice start. I like the fact that this chapter was more from Kurenai's perspective. This chapter was a good read and I look forward to seeing how the story builds from this.
| NaruHina143 chapter 1 . 1/14/2011
Just reminding myself that this story is freaking EPIC. I just really Really REALLY wish you'd update pretty pretty please B( Seasons greeting by the way:)
| XGaaHinaLoverX chapter 1 . 1/13/2011
man that's a lot of reviews :D I love re-reading this story. i like this story, a lot more than the actual Naruto - it makes so much sense and not only that, he ends with Hinata for sure and stops hanging all over Sakura lol update soon :D
| Not-Always-Fanfiction chapter 1 . 1/3/2011
I like the first chapter, it was interesting. However kagebushins make naruto great for scouting. The techinque was developed for spy missions. You see when the kagebushin is disspeled, all its memmories are transfered to the caster. But it was a good chapie.
| StandUpEvenIfYouStandAlone chapter 1 . 12/22/2010
yo this sounds AMAZING so far and i'm eager to find out what will happen through out this story
| Blinded in a bolthole chapter 1 . 12/18/2010
A very lovely start. And it lived up to the image I had about them (well, maybe not Kakashi).
An Eight Pointed Star of Chaos Undivided for you Herr Matthew.
| BundleofContradictions chapter 1 . 12/14/2010
It will be interesting to read a Naruto story in which he has a strong older sister/mother figure in his life. This is an interesting concept.
| SecondSeraphim chapter 1 . 11/4/2010
That's fine. A long as you don't kill either Naruto or Hinata none of us will have to track you down and beat you to a pulp ( :
Just got introed to Naruto a few months ago, and have just been reading the fanfiction for about two weeks. Read this one over the past few days. It rocks.
| miner249er chapter 1 . 11/1/2010
wow this great!
10,001 review yes!
| Azaeilia chapter 1 . 11/1/2010
I love the beginning! Your writing style is very descriptive... I shall continue to Chappie 2...
| LOVEPOINT33 chapter 1 . 10/25/2010
| Rio-Vena chapter 1 . 10/16/2010
congratz your 1 of only 7 naruto fanfics complmented on . Awsome story and snapped is funny haha!
| YoungBloodSage chapter 1 . 9/26/2010
So far so good! But soooo longgggg chapters!
| Obi1Nemogbr chapter 1 . 9/18/2010
Finally got around to reading this story and good to see that you are updating.
I always thought that the idea of the orange jumpsuit is akin to the Orangutan's camouflage. They are orange.
Looking forward to what you came up with.
| Anbu-Dave chapter 1 . 9/16/2010
Good AU, I like the character development. Naruto is a bit of a Mary Sue but really...in a fanfic you gotta have a little fun.
I dig the NaruHina coupling as well.
At 5 updates a year (average) this year only one...it's a bit slow.
| Lian Ryu chapter 1 . 8/31/2010
I'm not sure if I already reviewed this chapter long ago but it's worth reviewing again. I truly like the turn you've taken with this story. There are quite a few "Naruto on another team" fic's out there but not a lot of Good ones. This I have to say looks like it will be a great one.
| xxburuxx chapter 1 . 8/30/2010
Hi. I know it has been a long time since you've updated. but I saw this story on someone's favorite and decided to check it out. First of all I am greatly shocked at how many reviews you've received. I began reading your story two days ago and finished this morning. I was completely addicted to it. It is one of the the BEST fanfiction i've ever read. I bow my head down to your truly entertaining gift :) I also wanted to ask you about how long do you take between updates? Months? Years? Judging by the length it can't possibly be weeks but I also understand that you may write whenever you feel like it. So which one is it lol :) Thanks!
| Ranglar chapter 1 . 8/28/2010
I'm new to Naruto fan fiction. I said the same thing about Harry Potter fan fiction when I started reading NOFP back in December. This fic seems like it'll endear me to Naruto fan fiction as much as your other fic did to Harry Potter fan fiction.
| MsTeaN chapter 1 . 8/27/2010
I would be lying if I said that I'm not a LITTLE excited to be your 9,900th reviewer. And I would be SERIOUSLY LYING if I said that I have been looking for this story for little over 2 years.
I read this a while ago, and completely loved it, but somehow, I lost the title and author names. You see, I read this, coincidentally, around the same time that I started high school, and in the midst of all the hustle and bustle, I pretty much dropped the Naruto fanaticism in favor of school.
It was during my summers that I started diving straight back into Naruto fandom, and this story has always come up, but I just never clicked on it... Idk why. I think it's because I usually don't touch the "what if". I think my steadfast loyalty to canon may be why, lol, and it's rare to find a well-written NON-canon story that makes me want to even read past the first chapter.
So thank you, for a great story, great plot, and great characters. Thank you, for my entertainment. :)
| Story Weaver1 chapter 1 . 8/18/2010
Wow...when I arrived at this story, I was FLOORED by how many reviews you have. Almost 10,000. For 20 chapters. That's Insane.
Now I know why.
Just from the first chapter, you have humor and drama and well-thought out characterizations and well-written sentences. AND IT ALL MAKES SO MUCH SENSE!
By the time I get to the end of this, I might like it more the actual series.
| Jacob Matthew chapter 1 . 8/18/2010
I haven't read this yet, but the fact that you have 9000 reviews with only twenty chapters is amazing.
| kryrsel chapter 1 . 8/12/2010
im impressed, this is a very well written chapter that kept my interest all the way though, recently that has been getting harder to do. well done.
| Shadow Gricken chapter 1 . 8/6/2010
is chapter 20 the last chapter
| Kenta Raikiri chapter 1 . 8/5/2010
Kenta: Cool! I've never read a story like this, though your scene with Naruto's Kage Bunshin Technique seems a little off.
Naruto's able to make a single clone without it looking like...this story's clones did...but I digress.
Nice job! Normally I hate the idea that Naruto will be changing clothes, but there are other times where it seems not only necessary, but it would make sense.
Keep it up!
| lollipop-chan chapter 1 . 7/29/2010
Okay, i regret letting you know that I had to will myself to read all the way through the first chapter. I wasn't huge on the idea for this story when I first heard of it, but all I can say is wow. I'm in love. It's excellent. I want to apologize for not giving this story a chance at first! It's soo good! Keep up the good work! I can't wait for the next chapter!
| kakasakufan chapter 1 . 7/28/2010
You must update!
| darkgloomie chapter 1 . 7/24/2010
Ok, just finished this up to the 20th chapter and... It's pretty good. Got to be expected, I guess.
I'm not entirely comfortable with Hanabi's characterisation- she seemed a tad kinder to her sister in canon (to me at least) but then again, the event in the backstory may more than make up for this slight change.
Another thing I didn't like (just a personal complaint, really) is the way Kurenai was able to teach Team 8 3 types of elemental release so easily, even if only basic ones. According to canon (and here I'll stick) learning to manipulate the chakra like that requires lot of effort unless you're naturally attuned to that particular element. And even then, it'll take a while- Naruto's training to use Wind elemental chakra required him spawning endless Kage Bushin and some days, and he was attuned to that element, while Sasuke's training with Chidori took him good part of a month of specialized training, with a teacher that made full use of his strenghts (ie Sharingan's ability to copy stuff). This said, I don't the condensation jutsu realy can be considered an elemental release (they used the chakra to ocndensate humidity rather than, say, transform the chakra in water like with the "real" Suiton), but I'm personally discontinuing the basic Doton and Raiton used by Naruto :p
Have a nice day and continue like this
| Kanjiro chapter 1 . 7/16/2010
I read about this story on TvTropes, and boy were they right to recommend it. You seem to have a very good grip on your characters and a fluid style. Kurenai's pov is interesting, given her sharp insight. I don't read fanfiction often, but this makes me want to read more.
| EdmundAkbar27 chapter 1 . 7/7/2010
plz could u continue Team Eight? What has happened? is it a writer's block or is it that ur just not into it anymore?
| Jarjaxle chapter 1 . 7/5/2010
| librarycat9 chapter 1 . 6/24/2010
actually Naruto's clones and henge are really good for recon as well...
| iamalittleLeStrange chapter 1 . 6/23/2010
you got almost 10000 reviews, mind telling me you secret and giving a few tips?
| TheKazenoKiba chapter 1 . 6/15/2010
o thank go you're back...plz update more...this story is not only one of the best on the site, it has created much insipation for the entire Naruto genre of fanfiction
| Ataokoloinona chapter 1 . 6/6/2010
I really like the whole concept you have going on here. Not only are you tackling Naruto's character and the prolonged neglect and outright abuse, if you want to be direct about it, you are also tackling the lack of female characterization rampant in this series. Kudos. It's one of the main things that bugs me about Naruto. That Naruto is expected to be this great person all the time when nobody treats him even civily most of the time and the fact that pretty much all the female characters are damsels in distress. Anyway, the one thing that confused me a bit is the part where Naruto makes off with the shadow clone scroll. How much time passes between the announcement and when Iruka comes back? Other than that, this looks like it's going to be a great read.
| zero 2362 chapter 1 . 5/29/2010
ooh this is a fun idea. my only complaints so far are that you use a little too much japanese and that there wasnt a team test. both of these are very minor complaints however as the story so far seems to be developing at a nice pace. definatly going to read more. but first i have a halo itch to scratch.
this is zero signing off
| Samuraiguy2 chapter 1 . 5/28/2010
Love it just simply love the concept and chapter.
| Lostinfantry chapter 1 . 5/28/2010
I read this almost a year ago i believe. well i read it when the last chapter was the prelims with Naruto doing the the punch K.O. which I found extremely fitting and new. So many people would have some injury on naruto slowing him down to make the match fairer or naruto taunting Sasuke for most of the match before finishing. One punch and its done was very unique. WEll anyway, I thought it had been abandoned after I didnt se activity on it for months but apparently I thought wrong. So i'm gonna start again since i cant rememmber anything about it. Now that I think about why am I writing a review now before i even read it yet? ah well, see you when i get there.
| Uzumaki Ricky chapter 1 . 5/24/2010
| DiamondKing12 chapter 1 . 5/23/2010
I only recently was alerted of this story and I can already tell that I'm going to enjoy reading this. One thing that had always bothered me about Naruto was the neglect that he suffered as a child (its cause I understand, but still...) and it will be interesting to see what it's like with Naruto having someone in his corner from the start of his genin career. And, I also happen to be a huge Hinata fan, so I'm likewise excited to see Hinata, and even Shino, get more screen time!
| Cre A. Tor00x chapter 1 . 5/11/2010
something is wrong with chapter 2 of your story, it won't let me read it
| Marchgirl chapter 1 . 5/2/2010
Hello Matthew. I was intrigued when I saw just how many reviews you have and had to see if you were that good. You are! This is very well written and your additions of Japanese flow very well. I like how you've re-written the story and look forward to more.
| ninjanerd1 chapter 1 . 4/26/2010
you should make a sequal to this series, like to see it for shippunden aswell
| chaosglory626 chapter 1 . 4/23/2010
There is another aspect of Naruto's clones that would be an asset to a recon team, with the multitude of clones he could cover a wide area in a small amount of time.
| uchihacutie chapter 1 . 4/19/2010
wow...thiis was an amaziing way to begiin a fanfiic...
| Dieuwtjin chapter 1 . 4/19/2010
I just realised I forgot a bit of speculation in the previous review, namely, the political implications of Kurenai's death in Konoha.
Losing a jounin in an open assault type of fight to s-rank missing nin that were able to walk through the streets unchecked doesn't promise a lot of good to Sarutobi. If I were in his opposition, I would definitely charge him with forsaking his duties in protecting the village. If s-rank missing nin can enter so easily, what is stopping them from slaughtering innocent civilians at will? Clearly the village needs someone who is much stricter in his duties and much more capable, such as...
| williams5505 chapter 1 . 4/10/2010
You might of noticed that this was a long review. Put I don't want to write a one line review saying "Cool chapter!", because I actually care about this story and you, its author, so I wanted to write a real review about what I think about the story in general and this chapter. I would be honored if you read through it, as I think it might help your story.
I love this story and you are one of my favorite authors, and no, I'm not one of those reader's who has over 10 favorite author's (I have 3). Its something special to make it on the list...well, at least for me it is. I regret not reviewing any of the previous chapters, but I hadn't a profile, and for some reason I didn't want to review. Shame, seeing how I re-read your story multiple times, and could've helped you before.
Shame, also because I have finally gotten an account in the past year, when you updated the chapter. It pains me to review this chapter, but I'll be honest, because an amazing author such as yourself needs amazing reviews to help his story. That is, if you even read reviews at this point. I personally will never stop reading reviews, but you already have over 90, so perhaps its too time consuming.
Introductions aside, I wasn't as pleased in this chapter as I was with previous chapters. Before you sigh to yourself and think 'Damn, another bad review, I shouldn't waste my time', please read on. I'm not going to say that you ruined the story, because you did not ruin the story in any way. The chapter seemed rushed, regardless of the fact that it took a year to come out. I can tell that you might have wrote this in parts, writing the beginning months ago, and coming back to it periodically. While you have a job, a family, and a life, this method made the chapter feel choppy.
It seems as if the scenes weren't long enough, and it was jumping around between Naruto and Hinata to Kakashi and Itachi, sometimes only to make one scene more dramatic. For this, I mean that you needed to end one scene at a dramatic part, such as Kurenai dying, so you switched to Naruto, where you only gave him a scene where he walked through the market for a couple paragraphs before you jumped back.
This will be one of the easiest things to change for you next chapter, whenever you get working on it. Extending scenes to allow readers to fall farther into the story is a better and more comfortable style, and that can be easily changed for the next chapter. Readers can feel the characters out more when the scenes are longer, instead of trying to, only to jump to another character, which forcefully rips the mind out into a different memory.
Continuing on with the review, a lot of important events happened in this chapter, perhaps too many for such a short chapter. Clearly, you chapters aren't short in comparison to others, but just too much happened. Readers of Naruto are used to Kishimoto extending a main (or sides) characters death up to 5 episodes, perhaps 2 at the least. One key element of Kishimoto which you did not copy was his tendency to use flashbacks. While this becomes annoying in the anime, it allows readers to feel the authentic feeling of your story. They can relate it to the manga, and feel as if they are reading a true different style of Kishimoto. Kurenai should have had flashbacks, many different types. You should've used her death to allow readers to understand her past more; show her entire team and sensei, missions, deaths. You could've also used the opportunity for her to think about her team, and how they so easily replaced her family and team.
As an author, I understand that reading should've and could'ves is painful and its easier not to read them. However, I hope that you don't think of this review in that way. You have far too great a story and far too awesome talent to allow this to ruin your story. You can still allow this theme to occur in futur chapters. Now, going back to my previous point, a lot happened in the chapter. Itachi came, which had to happen in this part of the story. Still, Kurenai's death aside, his role seemed choked in this chapter.
Recap: Naruto and Hinata spent some quality time together. Itachi appeared. Kurenai died. The Kyuubi took over Naruto. Analyzing your previous chapters, all of this should've taken over 60 pages in word, or around 25,0 words, or more logically two chapters. Readers have been looking forward for Naruto spending time with Hinata alone for a year now, and unfortunately, that was unable to happen due to all of these other significant occurrences happening in the same chapter. Once more, you can still fix this by including more in-depth Naruto and Hinata in the next chapter, so no need to worry about that. I personally was waiting the entire chapter for something interesting to happen between the two, though it never did.
Logically, because this chapter was so fast paced, it would be a relief to readers to have a much slower paced chapter next. Already writing about Kurenai's quick death, I'll go on to the Kyuubi. The Kyuubi is a fear monster and a great character. In the anime and manga, he is only showed several times, with powerful lines, and we are always on the edge of our seats, waiting to hear about this. Still, it is upsetting that he took over Naruto for several seconds, walked around a little bit, dialogued, and dissapeared. Once again, this can be chagned in future chapters so you don't have to worry.
To summarize my review, understand that 1: You are a fantastic writer and this is a fantastic story. 2: This chapter wasn't as good as previous, but not enough in any way to ruin the story. 3: Everything was rushed, and you combined several chapters worth of information into one chapter. 4: You have the oppurtunity to fix most of the mistakes in this chapter in future chapters by slowing down, going in-depth in character, not jump around scenes, and allow readers to fall easier into the story.
I really enjoy this story, and I believe that it is going stay one of my favorites. I know there is a large chance that you won't read this, though perhaps the large size of the review will catch your attention. If at this point, you are upset and don't like the review, you can always just scroll down the page and observe the thousands of simple reviews telling you that you are a god and that they love your style. However, I actually care about this story and I actually care about you as an author, so I'm not going to write a short review. I want to tell you everything I can from the experience of a reader and a writer. You are my role model on this site, and I want you to be at your best. You have such a great talent, and this is the greatest Naruto story on the site so far.
Thanks for reading this review, if you did. If you have any questions or complaints, you can always send me a message over fanfiction. I love this story and you indeed are one of my favorite authors. I wish you the best of your talent (not luck) on the next chapter, and I hope you continue to please readers worldwide. Thanks again,
| Chewie Cookies chapter 1 . 4/8/2010
Wow... Damn, can't wait to see more!
Keep up the good work!
| Rhyssia chapter 1 . 4/8/2010
Damn. Having just read the latest chapter, and gone back... way to go with the forshadowing!
Also, now I'm all sniffly.
| Ivanjedi chapter 1 . 4/8/2010
Ouch. this I didn't see coming. Definitely will steer things in different direction than the canon.
In my opinion, evil Itachi makes more sense than the good one in the canon - the canon makes him look like an idiot. Then again, the Shippuden storyline sucks - I mean, come on, everyone else trains under Jonins and improves, Neji even becoming Jonin himself, Sakura improves dramatically under Tsunade, and Naruto pretty much doesn't budge for three years skill - wise under a teacher who is known to have trained one of the strongest ninja in history - where's the sense in that?
Interesting spin in killing Kurenai (pity though, I liked her) Now Naruto will have a reason to seek vengeance on Itachi like Sasuke.
| Hartha chapter 1 . 4/7/2010
Good Story so far.
| braindamage730 chapter 1 . 3/31/2010
great start to a great story
| Airyballoon chapter 1 . 3/27/2010
Woot! I was really looking for an amazing naruto fic, and I think I hit the jackpot with this one! Kurenai was so sweet to Naruto! This is how it really should have turned out, I don't disagree with Kishimono's ideas, but the Sausuke chasing and Mary sue-ing was really getting on my nerves. It's so refreashing to read something non-Sausuke-the-Mary-sue...
XD hope my little rant didn't forever destroy all respect for that duck haired *.
| RedSavant chapter 1 . 3/26/2010
I can't believe I haven't reviewed this fic yet. I would have loved to see this as the manga's canon - we'd be able to get a good love story out of it rather than an emofest with Mr. Needs Eyedrops there.
| BelleDayNight chapter 1 . 3/13/2010
Wow...what a great opening chapter! It was really hard to watch/read the first Naruto...I prefer Shippouden because the characters are more mature. Sakura especially is tolerable later on, I hated her at this stage...Ino too. Stupid Sasuke. Maybe Kiba will make that team better too! I really adore that you made Kurenai take such an active role and truly TEACH Naruto! I look forward to the development of this story! Thanks for taking the time to write it!
| DemonShadow999849 chapter 1 . 2/24/2010
gr8 story just read up to chapter 19 btu just wondering whats taking chapter 20 so long? it's been on 52% for around a month now...
| Quivalen chapter 1 . 2/20/2010
Can someone adopt this story ? I like it a lot ... but it stopped T_T
| Sam chapter 1 . 2/11/2010
Your story is amazing! Naruto exibits such growth that I can honestly say I've enjoyed this more than other works. Hope you post a new chapter soon!
| YetAnotherAnon chapter 1 . 1/20/2010
Very well written. I'm afraid that the only aspect of writing I can comment on is mechanics and I will therefore mostly point out grammatical/spelling mistakes.
"...guilt follows no logic but it's own"
"'If they fall into a trap,'..." I'm not sure if this one's intentional, so I'm just pointing it out.
"His live-and-let-live attitude ended where his ramen began." That was funny!
Again, very nice chapter.
(And secretly hopes your work on the latest chapter magically jumps from 6% to 100%)
| Dara363 chapter 1 . 1/4/2010
This is a verry well written fanfic and shows a great storyline. I love what a great job you did with Naruto's personality. Don't stop working on it because your doing a great job!
(Have you quit working on it? I noticed it has not been updated in a long while.)
| Eclipse1234 chapter 1 . 12/28/2009
i was gonna start reading this, but then i noticed the date for the last time you updated...and i wasn't impressed. a year ago? come on...i know its hard to write consistantly and still maintain a social life, but a year is stretching it.
| notgonnasay09 chapter 1 . 12/6/2009
I have thoroughly enjoyed this first chapter. I think it is an interesting point that Naruto's personality was probably due to neglect. You defiantly have me hooked. Be proud of this. If one chapter can be this good, than you are doing fine.
| JAYSEN chapter 1 . 12/6/2009
This is a pretty good story. Kurenai is one of the 'grey area' characters and you did a damn good job of fillng in the blanks. I always wondered about how strong Naruto would be with someone actually teaching him and looking out for him.
| midori ringo-chyaan chapter 1 . 11/18/2009
I really really really really love how this is going :)
| Taerisi chapter 1 . 11/16/2009
Please update this story! I love it!
| HeartsDragon chapter 1 . 11/9/2009
i love Kurenai! She is absolutely amazing!
Poor Naruto. I'm glad that he has someone to care for him now (that he knows about).
This is a great story, i love the plot already, i've been smiling non-stop since i started reading cos i'm so happy with Kurenai~ -
| Itachi's apprentice chapter 1 . 10/30/2009
| Painter'sTape chapter 1 . 10/22/2009
This made me cry
Not in a bad way, no way.
No, in a good way. I'm so happy, even if its just a fanfiction, that FINALLY a jonin noticed Naruto's potential :'D
Thank you so much for the wonderful story.
3 ~ Me :)
| Xaidjou chapter 1 . 10/12/2009
I have only recently started to read this story along with other stories you have written. I like how logical your stories end up becoming. The characters in your 'what if' stories end up neither too unbelievable nor carbon copies of what happened exactly in canon. Particular in this story, I like how, despite lacking Naruto, Team 7 was still able to defeat Zabuza (and even brought a certain someone back), despite loosing the client. Your convergence in this story makes for an exciting read, especially with the added focus on relationships within the 'clan o bastards', clans with other clans, the village council, etc. Moreover, the focus on the lesser known characters and the amount of background they get is fitting.
In short, I find this story and enjoyable enough read to be reading it when my alarm clock rang for me to get up. Any story that can keep me riveted to my place is already commendable and needs no further commendation from one such as myself. Despite that, you have it, unabashed.
| like2read chapter 1 . 10/3/2009
| Immersed.In.Longing chapter 1 . 10/2/2009
I think this story would keep me busy, it doesn't seem too ordinary, and it's a interesting plot. The chapters are pretty long, so that's really good :) I like how the relationship between Kurenai and Naruto is going :)
| Vanathor chapter 1 . 9/26/2009
Yay I have the 8801st review yay!
| Tikigod784 chapter 1 . 9/12/2009
So I see now why you haven't updated your Potterverse... Naruto is indeed addicted on all fronts...
Well, I'm still looking forward to reading this! :D
| Hatake Tsughi chapter 1 . 9/10/2009
I just started this story and I really like it so far can't wait to read the rest
| no name please chapter 1 . 8/18/2009
A Tale Of Legends Thrice by Racheakt is almost exactally like yours!
I think that author is plagerizing your Team 8 fic!
| 7thtreasure chapter 1 . 8/17/2009
This is one of THE BEST Naruto fics ever!Well, that I have ever read...Beautiful!Your story line is unique and interesting!And you have a really good way of weaving out the story!
| DrakkNyte32 chapter 1 . 7/18/2009
| maya-sleepy chapter 1 . 7/14/2009
This is very original and well written.
I don't think I've ever read a story like this.
| KaijuBlue chapter 1 . 7/10/2009
Really like it so far but I noticed you haven't updated in quite a while. Are you still writing this fic or have you abandoned it?
| EfficientLazyness chapter 1 . 7/7/2009
Very good reasoning. In fact you're reasoning (putting Naruto in Kurenai's team and her motives for doing so) are so good that I wonder why wasn't this done in the manga and anime. It seems a hole of a lot more logical then teaming him up with emo-boy and fan-girl. Every point you stated is simply right on the money, and given the fact that you didn't do in an overly dramatic way just adds more realism to it (I do sometimes like Sasuke , Sakura, and Kakashi bashing but all that drama just make's me bored sometimes.)
All in all I hereby say that : THIS IS HOW THE ANIME AND MANGA SHOULD HAVE BEEN!
| coleInTheWind chapter 1 . 7/7/2009
This is the absolute best Naruto fanfic I have ever found. I love the way that you have the characters achieving powers that they never in the original but doing it in a way that is totally believable and actually makes more sense.
Keep up the good work and bring out a new chapter
| tedlay chapter 1 . 6/27/2009
awesome story please write asap
| weslderf222 chapter 1 . 6/21/2009
great job so far the story in my opinion is among the better ones and unlike most of the other reviewers i've been on viridian dreams so I know you're having problems right now so good luck with them.
| scottishfae chapter 1 . 6/3/2009
Congratulations! You've been rec'd!
The Reader's Have Chosen is a new fanfiction recommendation community dedicated to finding the best of the best in fandoms across the boards, and sharing them with other authors and avid readers. Your story, Team 8, has been rec'd and is now being voted on in the Monthly Poll (Naruto). Fellow fandom-aficionados will vote for their favorites of all the recommendations, and the stories with the most votes will be posted on the front page.
You can find our website at (without spaces): thereadershavechosen . eternflame . com
You can find the Naruto Monthly Poll at (without spaces): thereadershavechosen . eternflame forum / index . php ? topic 994.0
Thank you for sharing your work with us!
| AlQuixote chapter 1 . 6/3/2009
damn, u write a good fic, update soon please.
| dragonriderofp3rn chapter 1 . 5/17/2009
I loved the chapter and I plan on reading the rest of the story. Keep up the good work and update soon.
| marc chapter 1 . 5/12/2009
Definitely one of my top ten Naruto fan fics. Please update soon, we're all waiting.
| AzureDawn chapter 1 . 5/10/2009
this story has an interesting premise. I'm particularly interested in seeing how Shino's relationship with Naruto changes over time. It's a bit odd having those two on the same team, they're polar opposites pretty much.
| opiumsong chapter 1 . 5/3/2009
This story is amazing.
| Orchamus chapter 1 . 4/18/2009
I just started reading this, and I can already tell it's going to be great-
| Ashans23 chapter 1 . 4/18/2009
Hohoho that's one of my new top 3 favorite story now COLAD, Uzumaki of the Whirlpool and Naruto's happyness
| agentsleek chapter 1 . 4/11/2009
This is an excellent story. Excellent descriptions of the characters' moods, thoughts and motivations, and the fight scenes are great too. Keep writing!
| Stephly chapter 1 . 4/6/2009
This has to be the best Naruto fanfic that I've ever read. The depth that you've given to these characters is amazing. Please update soon! :)
| SilentSinger948 chapter 1 . 4/4/2009
| Lilamedusa chapter 1 . 3/26/2009
Hi hi lilamedusa here!
I really liked the first chapter. I've always tought tat too! you know, everyone's so horrible to Narutpo, i dont think someone as Kakashi sensei is a proper teacher for him. I mean, he's cool and all, but he is too aloof. And careless. Besides, all that mistreat from Sakura-chan... I really like how Sakura and how she evolved as a character in the manga, but it must have been awefully hurtful to Naruto being mistreated like that.
I always tought that Shino would be an excellent partner for Naruto too, 'cause, even if he has not a bu¿biju inside of him, the bugs are really... eww. HE must have been mistreated, even by accident, tons of times.
And about Team 7... I didn't really like the arrangements, I've never liked the idea of a team with out the whole Sasuke-Naruto relationship, but it's ok.
I've promissed my self not to judge a story by the pairing, but I really dislike NaruHina. I'm a SasuHina fan. I hate Sasuke, and HInata, though(so it's a mistery how my fav stories and pairig is SasuHina).
I'll stop the rambling, and I'll keep reading, reviewing randomly.
| Shizuka Taiyou chapter 1 . 3/22/2009
It's been almost 3 months. Whan's the next chapter of this fic? Or do I need to huant you till ya write one.
| Winter Wisp chapter 1 . 3/22/2009
Great Story you got going, can't wait for more!
| adfdsvn1 chapter 1 . 3/11/2009
well i wont leave a really long review i only do that for the last chapter but ive got to say i couldnt find any mistakes at all plus it was all gramatically correct without being like reading a dictionary its got good imigination and incite to see how people react to certain things but so far i cant wait to get to the next chapter
| emillian chapter 1 . 2/2/2009
Oh wow. I love this story. Funny thing is I can picture this happening instead of the cannon manga and making just as entertaining of a read. I'll be the first to admit Gaara is my favorite followed by Haku so I love what you are doing with them. I can't wait for the next update. Keep up the amazing work.
| StaplersBreak chapter 1 . 2/1/2009
Yay!. You're still writing! Thanks for the update!
| pyromaniacal fish chapter 1 . 2/1/2009
I've just read this story on ur other fanfiction website, and i hope for a quick update
| mcjazzman32 chapter 1 . 1/29/2009
Good! I enjoyed it and will keep reading. I think Naruto isn't hyper enough, but I suppose if you planned for that as what you wanted to write, then no biggie. I'm looking forward to the rest. :)
| randomone13213 chapter 1 . 1/26/2009
this is by far the greatest fanfic i have ever read!
if u can make this up to when sasuke leaves then...
U WILLB AWSOME LOL
| GoldKing chapter 1 . 1/22/2009
| roranoid chapter 1 . 1/19/2009
Whoa. That's awesome! Whoa... This is as good as the manga~~ Whoa. When you gonna update?
| Lilcross chapter 1 . 1/17/2009
Dude...You are the best writer on FF. Your a total beast.
| Rhythm Kukyou chapter 1 . 1/12/2009
I just started this, but I can tell it's going to be good. Can't wait to read the rest!
| WhyMustIWrite chapter 1 . 1/6/2009
I only just found this story, and I have to admire the amazing start. You are very insightful as to the character of the individual genin. And it's refreshing to see someone putting such thought into the team assignments! I love where you've put Naruto, and your reasonings behind it.
I also love your insight into Naruto's life and the hardships he faces because of the villagers' hatred. The story line thus far is very believable, and you have everyone behaving in character in these altered circumstances. You mentioned that Naruto will start becoming more and more ooc, but I don't necesarily agree with that. If canon Naruto is placed in such a different situation, it would be unreasonable for him to turn out completely the same! As long as he acts in a way that we could reasonably expect him to with what we know of his background and personality prior to this, it wouldn't be ooc at all, I think. :)
| Crimson-lips46 chapter 1 . 1/5/2009
Okay, I'll be honest with u. I don't usually review for a story but you truly do deserve it! XD I loved this chapter, mainly for the Naruto/Neji conversation! Made me so happy!
| Kyuuketsuki Fang chapter 1 . 1/4/2009
i havent finished the first chapter yet(its long) but so far so good.
| Oreithyia chapter 1 . 1/4/2009
What a most welcome Christmas gift indeed. In fact, in my gratitude I have been lured out of years of lurking to express it.
Due to what I will assume is the constant bombardment of unnecessary angst infesting fanfiction, I had my doubts about the Hyuuags being portrayed as abusive, but your handling of characters dispositions and reactions to the situation and incidents entirely believable and not the least bit trite or shoe-horned.
I also enjoy your broad handling of the Naruto universe. Too often, fanfiction becomes character centric to the point it is narratively suffocating. It also leads to a mere rehashing of the established story line without any actually re-imagining of the characters reactions or growth in light of new influences. It makes me very curious to see just how you will handle the largely Sasuke driven story aspects; I have no doubt you will continue to exceed expectations.
I have to applaud your story telling style as it is what got me hooked. The differences in perceptions, observations, and motivations each character has comes through not only in their thoughts themselves but in the nuance of word choice and internal grammar. I just love that.
I look forward to your next opportunity to update.
| The Disappearing Me chapter 1 . 1/2/2009
Just looking at this fic, I know I don't have time to finish it tonight. But I'll be back in the morning! So far, I like it a lot! The details really make the fic feel more real. I like how you switched Kiba and Naruto - they're pretty similar, so that just makes sense. Can't wait to read more!
| Evening D chapter 1 . 12/31/2008
WoW! The idea is really good! It's so simple that it's unbelieve nobody have ever used it before :D
I found your fic by Crimson skies who had favorited this storie. Your so good writer I cant wait to read more of your work!
Eagerly moving to read the next chapter!
- Evening, from finland
| mrf1576 chapter 1 . 12/28/2008
Hello, I was just writing to say that I really enjoyed reading your story so far, I like how the plot is developing. I always figured that Shino would understand Naruto better then anyone else thats isn't a container. I like how your building the relationship with Hinata, I've read other stories where one minute they barely recognize eachother and the next their practically married. I do have a question that you probably already answered a thousand times but I have to ask it anyway, why didn't you have Naruto sign the toad contract? Like I said I'm sure you answered already but I'm curious. Anyway just wanted to say great story so far and I'm looking forward to the next chapter.
| Alaska-sama chapter 1 . 12/27/2008
I still love this fanfiction!
Third...maybe fourth time around, even!
I think you could use a tad bit more description, but other than that, thanks for your work!
I really enjoy this fanfiction.
| Hotstreak's crossover stories chapter 1 . 12/24/2008
| TheUtsukushiiYume chapter 1 . 12/23/2008
omg, this chapter was so long but it was so good. it's gunna take me forever to read it.
| irezel chapter 1 . 12/19/2008
:) this story is so good i can't take it! :D
| Moon Ecstasy chapter 1 . 12/14/2008
This is really awesome. Actually I found it randomly when I was searching info on who was team 8 and who was team 10 (I thought I might have had it mixed up) on google and this popped up and I read this chapter for the sheer hell of it and WOW! It's the best Kurenai-sensei fic I've read. Ironically I've been searching for fics with Naruto under a different jounin (much as I LOVE Kakashi) for the past few days. I love Anko and Asuma ones, and I picked up a few really good Ibiki ones (where he was a mentor not a team leader) and I found a fabulous Hayate one (the coughing guy).
So I'll reiterate: I FRIGGIN' LOVE THIS! YAY YOU!
| undeadyeti chapter 1 . 12/10/2008
Nice work hope it keeps getting better.
| Lisa chapter 1 . 12/10/2008
Wow wow wow! Im speachless! I just love the way your characters are going, and how everything about naruto changed, because finally someone cared..
| Laundreu chapter 1 . 12/4/2008
It's the weirdest thing - I'm not all that fond of Naruto as a TV or Manga series, yet I had this story recommended to me and found myself enthralled. (It has directly contributed to my bachelor's degree capstone project being delayed, amusingly enough.)
I'm not too good at the criticism, but one thing I noticed is that sometimes things seem a little too...'pat', I guess. Things fall into place too easily for Naruto sometimes, and he's adapted to the new way of things a little too easily. Partially, I suppose, it's because it's not all that clear how much time has passed between chapters - I know time has passed, mind, but it kind of feels like a few days, not weeks or months.
On the other hand, I really adore how Shino's become a sort of elder brother figure to both Naruto and Hinata. It's friggin' adorable. I really enjoy all their characterizations (though Hinata is a little too self-loathing, I suppose that has to do with Hiashi (?) and his going for the gold metal at the Konohagakure I'm A Tremendous Dick Olympics) and how well they work with one another in characterization.
Finally, I must note I'm holding out for a Naruto Secret Technique: Six-Armed Cockpunch Jutsu being applied to aforementioned Hyuuga clan head.
| CyberXenoNovian chapter 1 . 12/3/2008
I've readed a bunch of Naruto get strong fic but this one is the best I've ever readed here. Each chapter is like an episode when reading to me and this seem more probable than alot here that take up space.
I come back here once in awhile and read the whole all over again. Love how this is and will be waiting for future chapter.
| Meatzman2 chapter 1 . 11/27/2008
i want to read this fic cos so many people have recommended it, but it's naru/hina which makes my eyes bleed! i will probably read it at some stage, maybe, possibly...
| puregarnet chapter 1 . 11/24/2008
Bice story. Update often!
| JC chapter 1 . 11/22/2008
Will ther be a update soon?
S'Tarkan this story too grood to stop Now.
| A chapter 1 . 11/17/2008
This fic is awe inspiring. I can't wait to see where it goes.
| kyuubigan chapter 1 . 11/13/2008
All right S'tarKan, let me tell you exactly how I think of your story. I'm beginning my sixth reading of this. Sixth. I rarely finish anything I start, yet here I am starting your story for the SIXTH TIME.
In all honesty, I believe this to be one of the few Naruto fanfictions in which Naruto himself isn't either ridiculously overpowered nor severely out of character. Not that I'm saying Naruto is weak in this story. I'm simply complementing you for actually giving a reason for his level of growth. Something I rarely see, and for that I'm grateful. Also, Naruto improving his taijutsu rather than just overall training makes perfect sense with his clones, unlike other fanfictions which basically make him a god.
That being said, you've also done an excellent job in keeping characters in character. Like Shino's logical and formal nature and Hinata's lack of self-confidence. One of the major problems I see in any fanfictions is that some if not all the characters are out of character. I have yet to see any real deviations that wouldn't make sense with the story. So bravo on that!
Now your story is not without its flaws. First of all, you seriously understated the power of the Kusanagi blade. That sword is legendary for it's cutting power. When Sarutobi blocked it with his bracer he should have lost his arm. The blade is also indestructible, meaning Haku's ice wouldn't break it. Another note is the ease in which Naruto accesses the Kyuubi's chakra. Usually it takes extreme rage to trigger the transformation. But in your story a mild annoyance is enough to at least bring a little into his system. I mean, in canon Naruto gets mad all the time and we don't even see a hint of the Kyuubi. It took the death of a precious friend and surrogate brother to trigger the transformation initially.
Other than that however, you have written an excellent story. Like I said, I'm reading this for the sixth time. Way to go!
| fgsg chapter 1 . 11/1/2008
i love this story!
| Bullwinkle's Lady chapter 1 . 10/28/2008
| AequusTempestas chapter 1 . 10/26/2008
| Romez chapter 1 . 10/24/2008
I just started to read your fic, but I know I'm going to love it since I love long stories... plus you have 18 juicy chapters. This will provide me with some good entertainment for quite a while.
| DreamingofPurpleSkies chapter 1 . 10/20/2008
Love this story. I've read this twice now, since it's so good. I wish there was more. I'll be waiting patiently for the next chapter. Good luck!
| OwlofNight chapter 1 . 10/19/2008
First of all, my name is matthew 2, i read alot of fanfiction.. And i mean alot. i just found this one and the HP one and im gonna be busy for a few days straight :)
| deux-michelle chapter 1 . 10/8/2008
i've been looking for this story since forever!
i read this two years ago and was instantly hooked! you're absolutely amazing!
| driftingcloud chapter 1 . 10/1/2008
Adding to faves!
| pokefreak59 chapter 1 . 9/20/2008
SOO...DAMN...LONG! IT TOOK ME FOREVER TO READ THIS! WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU!
Still i like the story so far. hope the the the chapters are as good as this one
| Summerlover01 chapter 1 . 9/19/2008
To be completely honest with you, when I first saw the idea for this story I wasn't completely thrilled. This was mainly because I didn't want to have to re-read Naruto from the beginning. But I finally convinced myself to give your story a chance and I've got to say that you've thoroughly impressed me! Your writing is superb and this is definitely one of the most well thought out fanfics I've ever seen. From little details like changing Naruto's outfit to something less flagrant, to Kurenai informing Naruto he shouldn't eat so much ramen because it isn't good for his health, it looks like you planned out your story to the smallest detail. I especially liked the way you set up Naruto being placed on team 8. Once again, very well thought out. All I can do is applaud you for awesome work. I really hope you'll continue because I would love to see a conclusion to your story. Keep up the excellent work. ~Summerlover01
| LurkerLordX chapter 1 . 9/14/2008
Hai! First Confession Time
I only know Naruto from the American Dub so some stuff is a bit odd for me. That said i was directed here for Regame from Deviant Art after he read a little Ben 10 fic did there and i mentioned i had my own Naruto Fic in progress
That said I love a good story and i'm already lovingthe direction your going. Any good remake of a series for a early point will case a massive divergence, just ask Martey McFly if you need proof one small ripple in the past can change EVERYTHING.
Looking forward to seeing how the story develops and in the future id love to see how the new team 7 will develop.
| ramenlova610 chapter 1 . 9/12/2008
Sry but I have to favorite this like right now I swear it's soo good
| Dakota Dugger chapter 1 . 9/12/2008
Wow not bad Im already into it and Ive only read the first chapter nice work.
| Aqualens chapter 1 . 9/9/2008
Unless it's a crossover with another series, I don't ever read Naruto at all, point blank. However, since one of my favorite authors recommended this story, I decided to give it a try. To my surprise, I couldn't stop reading once I had started. This is a really worthwhile piece of fanfiction, and I'm so glad that I came across it. Fantastic plotline and very good character development, and if you keep churning out chapters in the future, I will definitely keep reading all of them.
| kyuubi shadow chapter 1 . 9/8/2008
| Sakura Reservoir Chronicles chapter 1 . 8/24/2008
| Seravy chapter 1 . 8/16/2008
this is just the first chapter but I'm already hooked! well written and paced, i have to say I like it a lot more than the original. from the way you've analyzed it, it does make more sense to put Naruto with Hinata and Shino. anyways, off to read the second chapter.
| Jesse A. Harper chapter 1 . 8/15/2008
I like this story a lot so far. You have this talent for putting a different twist on things, as well as make them seem believable. Well done.
Oh, I really liked this line of this chapter.
She sat there quietly fuming while they waited for the check. The boy was reluctant to put up with abuse from random shopkeepers, but that left her wondering where he’d found the orange suit. Maybe it had been cast off in a refuse heap, or it had been the only thing they were willing to sell to him. Perhaps some worthless trash of a human being hoped the bright colors would make him more likely to die on a mission.
Kurenai didn’t know the owner of the equipment store she frequented, but if they snubbed Naruto in front of her it would be the last thing they did. Experiencing two hours in the life of Uzumaki Naruto left Yuuhi Kurenai ready to commit assault, if not murder.
| CIMG214 chapter 1 . 8/8/2008
i really love how Naruto gets stronger and proved it to everyone who didnt believe in him.
your descriptions in the beginning of how the shop vendors hated him and kicked him out were great. I felt so bad for Naruto then.
| Erendhyl chapter 1 . 8/4/2008
So far, this story is very good. You did an excellent job with Hinata's character in the Hinata bit earlier in the chapter. Kurenai was also nicely in character and the past you came up with for her seems believable. I also like how nice she was to Naruto; he really deserved to have someone finally treat him like that.
Wow, this is going to cause A LOT of changes. Are Sasuke and Sakura going to develop into decent human beings without Naruto around? Most of Sasuke's change was from Naruto, and he influenced Sakura's change as well. I also wonder how the Sasuke Retrieval Arc would turn out if Sasuke and Naruto weren't best friends. Will Kiba take that place, or will Naruto bond with Sasuke some way other than being on his team? Or will Sasuke just hate the world?
| Gin-Ryuko chapter 1 . 8/2/2008
Interesting, original and I'm happy that Naruto will have an understanding jonin instructor. But this will mess up things huh? Still, this was a good chapter and I'm quite sure it will also be a great story. Good luck!
| Mirage88 chapter 1 . 7/31/2008
The only reason I decided to read this is cause it had over 70 reviews, and i can see why! Ive only read the first chapter and im hooked. I cant even find point out any mistakes, or anything that could have been improved.
| SithStalker234 chapter 1 . 7/30/2008
| gaga chapter 1 . 7/17/2008
| Dawrnit chapter 1 . 7/16/2008
I've heard this story was good, so I decided to read it although it's not one of my frequented pairings.
And this first chapter is so promising that I might just end up reviewing every chapter if they're as mind catching.
I love how you've characterized Naruto so far.
| Winged Wolf Demon chapter 1 . 7/15/2008
I've been reading this story since the very beginning and I've always been impressed with the depth and the length you give to each chapter. It's the reason why I don't try and hurry you up with reviews telling you to do so.
About Temari's summons, I think she actually mentioned her saying that she thought she was the only who could summon things after she saw naruto summon Gamabunta. Might be wrong.
| Rachel A. Prongs chapter 1 . 7/15/2008
I must say I'm really impressed with this story, even more so than with your Harry Potter stories.
Fact is I'm hooked and I'm absolutely Naruto clueless. I've read the first chapter or something, which is why the presence of the demon inside him and the situation around his exam didn't confuse the hell out of me.
So between trying to piece together where you diverge from cannon, and what's your own ideas, I'm loving your rich characterization. Hinata is a particular favourite, Kurenai very good as well. I'm assuming Naruto kept much of that pranking, happy-go-lucky attitude in cannon?
Oh and I don't get why everyone is so creeped out by Shino! Ok so I don't like bugs that much either but he's the dark, mysterious type... And his reaction patterns never cease to amuse me. What flowers on Nejii's grave indeed.
I've pieced together a couple of things here, that I don't quite understand; Sandaime and Yondaime - those aren't names are they? Because Sandaime is also named something else (Saurtobi or something). So it's some sort of title for the Hokage, but why are they different?
Also some characters that pop up a bit randomly can be difficult to keep track on (if you don't read cannon Naruto i guess). That Haku boy who fought with the Sandaime, who was he? Where did he come from?
Babbling aside; I want more chapters :D
| SnarkyBlondes n SassyBrunettes chapter 1 . 7/11/2008
I hate writing reviews -I'm so lazy- but your wrting really deserves a review so here it is: very incaptivating to the last chapter, can't wait till you write more
| misunderstand my love chapter 1 . 7/11/2008
your fic is so great i love it
i whish you can continued whit it
well i have to go
again great fic
| jcogginsa chapter 1 . 7/6/2008
do you take origanal jutsu suggestions?
| HyuugaPrincess15 chapter 1 . 7/5/2008
i just wanted to let you know that your story is the best fanfic i have read so far. each chapter gets better. i drove my sisters nuts because i couldn't stop talking about it. I'm so excited to read your next chapter i cant wait. you rock! i love how you kept haku alive having him be a chunnin and help the sandaime fight orochimaru was so cool. once again you rock! you gave me some good ideas and make me want to write my own fanfic HyuugaPrincess15
| Razzaroo chapter 1 . 7/4/2008
Everyone likes reviews and you have heaps of them!
You're a really ggod writer.
I've only just started reading it but, hey it seems really good so far
| Bronwen chapter 1 . 7/3/2008
This is what a team should be like. T_T This is teamwork. XD There's a desire to see this Team 8 actually be canon.
| BluFox15 chapter 1 . 7/3/2008
I love the detail that you put into each paragraph, and so far I have no trouble envisioning each of these characters-Naruto, Kurenai, Hinata, Shino, and others-in your perspective. I'm going to read the next chapter now, and I hope you continue with your other stories.
Don't forget to check out my only story, "From Clear to Crimson"!
| nartohaloevovled chapter 1 . 6/30/2008
man this is SUCH a good story!
| Bam-There You Go chapter 1 . 6/25/2008
i have a question thats kind of random and meaningless, but none the less nipping at my brain- as a guestimate, how many words do you average per chapter? not that its a bad thin but this chapter, although interesting, seemed really lonh although i know ive read longer. it may just be that im currently readin at five in the morning and havnt ad any sleep yet, thus im slower at reading. but whatever, me and my nocturnal mind were just curious.
| LemonyCrosby chapter 1 . 6/19/2008
Well your 'mental aperitif' turned out rlly nice keep it up!
| Thirteenth Hour chapter 1 . 6/12/2008
There are bad fanfics. Then there are average fanfics. Then there are good fanfics. Then there is Team 8. I am astounded by the level of quality that you put into this and also am humbled by the review level of over 70 that you have recieved. Congratulations. Your stories are some of the better ones out there.
| Scribbler chapter 1 . 6/7/2008
It's hard to find a story where the plot's actually been thought through, and i'm still dazed by reading all this 8 hours straight.
Even though, the awesomeness of this story makes my lack of sleep and my soon to be headache totally worth it.
Seriously, this story simply reeks awesomeness all over it!
You have the writing enough to make JKR envious. I don't know how you're still not an internationally known writer who's winning 500 million dollars a year, but i'm pretty sure you'll get there.
I really can't find anything that can be improved, so i'll just say the things i love the most about the story:
The plot has, as i said, been thought through.
Your chapters are longer than many stories i've read.
You are amazing at writing fighting scenes
And last but not least there are no OOC characters (i thought that was impossible in fanfiction, i guess i was wrong)
And the other details as well.
So yeah, please keep up the flood of awesomeness!
| royale deep chapter 1 . 6/7/2008
With such a story, it is no surprise that you got over 70 reviews and you are on FanFictions Bigten writers
| no longer online anymore chapter 1 . 6/7/2008
Wow! I just love this story! I'm not much of a NaruHina fan but this story changed my mind. :D I LOVE THIS!
| Zephyr.Camida chapter 1 . 6/3/2008
Since this is seemingly going to be a wonderful fanfic to read,
I shall most definitely take the time to review each chapter.
lol I sure hope you don't mind that. Things I really liked, was
that the characters in the beginning chapter were very well in
character. Another thing I liked a lot was the length of the
chapter, as I have a growing weakness for lengthly fanfics
with good if not great plots. I'm already liking the idea of
Naruto bonding with his new teammates down the line and also
with his new teacher. Even now, the interactions betweem
Naruto and Kurenai were very touching and IC. I look forward
to becoming a regular reader to this fanfic~!
| Epidot chapter 1 . 6/2/2008
Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! I love this story, and have always wondered what would happened if Naruto was placed on Team 8 in stead of Kiba. (no offence to the character though) The only thing I think is a little off, is that I am unable to stop reading when I have started. D...
| shikatactics chapter 1 . 6/2/2008
This story has made Shino one of my favorite characters you just make him seem so cool without making him seem like a different character he's believeable and that's part of why I love this fanfic believeable characters. I don't remember how I found this story but I love it you have inspired me to start writing maybe I'll make a fanfic of my own. I cannot find fault with this story it's in my opinion the best fanfic I've read.
Plz plz update soon, shikatactics
| D.J chapter 1 . 5/31/2008
when will you update
| OnGuard chapter 1 . 5/31/2008
this is one of the best naruto in team 8 stories i have seen.
| choomb chapter 1 . 5/24/2008
totally teared up more than once. you got me.
| HellsGate9999 chapter 1 . 5/9/2008
I love how your starting to really crank out the chapters i hope it continues. it kinda sucked having to read like the last 3 chapters everytime a new one came out so i could remember what happend last time lol Great story keep up the good work.
| ArminaSkitty chapter 1 . 5/9/2008
I haven't had a chance to read this chapter yet, but I just wanted to inform you that you are my new hero and best friend for getting the last three updates posted so quickly. This is me tackling you to the ground a la Naruto Pounce of Glee (tm).
| Lintila chapter 1 . 5/9/2008
wow this is fantastic! I think you've portrayed Shino and Hinata really really well! Please update soon
| Elen chapter 1 . 5/8/2008
Excuse me for commenting on a small and rather petty portion of the story, but: I really do appreciate the comment you made when Naruto was training with Sakura and Sasuke in the forest chakra training, and he said he was flat footed. XD
See, its because I'm flat-footed myself, and have had a multitude of problems in sports because of it. So I could never really imagine someone like me doing extreme ninja things in those sandals of rather lacking arch support. Till now. Hehe.
Overall, this is one of the best naruto epic stories ever! I hope naruto reaches a happy conclusion, but one that involves his own reality(personally I think he should go back in the end).
| Book Mad TJ chapter 1 . 5/8/2008
| Mosho chapter 1 . 5/5/2008
Matthew, that was an awesome first chapter, I am hooked. I know I am going to enjoy this fic. Keep up the wonderful work.
P.S. congrats on such a successful fic.
| meluvnaruto chapter 1 . 5/1/2008
ok its a nice story but i dont like how you make naruto look so weak.
that is my only critisism.
besides that its a good story, keep up the good work.
| aimdiscord chapter 1 . 4/30/2008
What struck me most about your story idea (other than its brillance) is that Kiba / Sasuke and Shino / Naruto do pair up better on teams than the original author's teams. Sasuke seems to have a strong personality and he will demand to be the leader of any team he is on. Kiba has this problem too, but Kiba seemed less capable of making good decisions than Sasuke, based on his actions in the chunin exams. (i.e. Hey guys, instead of hurrying to the finish line, lets go beat up other teams and steal their scrolls because I think it is a great idea!) At least Sasuke is mission-oriented if a little bit selfish... :D He won't let Kiba go off and do stupid things. And Naruto will draw Hinata and Shino out of their reclusive shells! Yay!
Great story concept, I look forward to reading the rest.
| almond-goddess chapter 1 . 4/30/2008
I like the storyline so far, but it is straying a little from the mother-child relationship recently. Perhaps in next chapter you can something that corresponds to the title of your fan fiction.
| deleria chapter 1 . 4/30/2008
Interesting story premise. I like how you have portrayed Naruto here. He's clever and bursting with potential, not stupid with an overwhelming amount of chakra and luck. I can't tell you how much it irks me to see people characterize Naruto as an idiot whose only purpose is comedic in nature. I mean the kid learned a Jounin-level technique by himself in one night - he's clearly not soft in the head.
So kudos for that! :D
Now back to reading...
| ketaramaru chapter 1 . 4/27/2008
omg that chapter is so long!
and lucky fer me kurania has always been my fav junin next to kakashi great work im gona review on each chapter
| plmk chapter 1 . 4/23/2008
The last few chapters, were amazing. I love how you made Naruto win in a different way. To be honest, the way Naruto won in the anime/manga was kinda dumb. Yeah it was cool, but it was cheating. He used the demon fox power. But in your story, he actually beat Neji fair and square. Awesome!
And LOL for Neji getting hit by the weights, by Hinata AND Naruto!
| Anonymous chapter 1 . 4/21/2008
Woohoo! Another chapter, I'm extremely happy to see such as fast update. It was nice that the post didn't lose any of its quality in the process either, I eagerly await the next installment
| memnarch chapter 1 . 4/21/2008
Your choice to have Naruto severely injure or possibly kill Neji is sure to have lasting effects on your story and I look forward to the possible ramifications. Your introduction of Jiraiya was well done and keeping very true to the version of Naruto you've created. I'm also interested to see how you execute the Sound Invasion. Thanks for writing such in depth fanfics. Please keep up the good work.
| KILLUS chapter 1 . 4/20/2008
Didn't anyone catch that Naruto's eyes turned purple? That sounds much more like the cursed seal, to me, than Kyuubi. Something which everyone was up in arms about to begin with-the Kyuubi breaking the seal, that is.
Anyway, totally great chapter. I can't help but wonder what happened to Neji; if it was anyone but you I'd be certain that he was killed.
Is Hiashi really the bead guy in this fic? From that scene with Iruka it doesn't seem so. He looked to be playing peacemaker with that comment. Then again, his abuse of Hinata is inexcusable; then again one must wonder if the clan considers it abuse or not...
Jiraiya was hysterical; so like the two of them. I loved it!
tjchaos thank you for the wonderful omake; it was grand.
Cannot wait until next update.
| CrimsontheBloodyDemonKing chapter 1 . 4/20/2008
AWESOME! Update soon.
| TgCid24 chapter 1 . 4/19/2008
Excellent chapter, as always.
You know, every time it's time for you to introduce a new character (i.e. Jiraiya) I worry that it will be the first one that you take OoC without proper development. Once again, my fears prove unfounded.
Loved the Neji fight. I found the fact that Naruto turned down the Frog Contract very interesting-especially as it might pertain to any future fight against Gaara-do you plan on having him sign a contract at all (I understand if you don't want to answer that...writer's perogative and all that)?
Thanks for the good work. I look forward to the next chappie.
| Dragoon740 chapter 1 . 4/19/2008
A excellent chapter. I am looking forward to seeing what the reactions to Naruto using the Kyuubi chakra on Neji's head will be like. I myself am leaning to TSBasilisk's third suggestion on cancelling out the Caged-bird seal. That should get the Hyuugi in a right state.
| TSBasilisk chapter 1 . 4/19/2008
Well, I can think of three possible things Naruto did at this point and I'm hoping it's the third.
1.) Sorry, Neji, no more eyes for you.
2.) A new beauty scar for his ugly mug.
3.) Oh looky, Kyuubi chakra plus caged bird seal equals no more seal!
| MeowingFrogs chapter 1 . 4/14/2008
Very good chapter! I now wish i would've read this when i first seen it MONTHS ago...ANYways...so far i'm lovin' it!
| Early Morning Dawn chapter 1 . 4/14/2008
I love your story so far. It's very hard to find fanfic that are this well written. It makes it a pleasure to read, I don't have to over look grammar to enjoy a good storyline. I am looking forward to reading the rest of the story. I took a chance starting this one because I normally don't read stories that are not complete, a lot of people stop half way.
My favorite sentence from this chapter: His live-and-let-live attitude ended where his ramen began.
I love it!
| The Jade Knight chapter 1 . 4/13/2008
I KNEW IT!
i am a resident of many fandoms including HP and I got a distint potter vibe from naruto there for a while... not a bad thing... i think its working very nicly
anyway great story so far... i hope to see a little fluff in the future... and a kick ass fight sence... and some kyubi goodness!
| Sealed-Dragon chapter 1 . 4/10/2008
I thought it was 2008? What sort of screwed up universe am I living in? Oh well, I'll live.
Well, I don't always like fluff, but they way you're going about your story, is pure genious! I'm liking how you made her think succeed or die trying. That might get a few things through her head. And Naruto understanding about Neji, was pretty good.
Now, make sure that Naruto doesn't just practice taijutsu! I would personally like to see this Naruto go to Chunnin faster, and with his skill, he should be able to do so. So please, let him learn more ninjutsu! I meen, come on...it's the Hyuuga's main weakness!
Thank you for putting this one up so soon. I'll probably ask you something else in the future. But that's as i see how things work out.
| EDelta88 chapter 1 . 4/8/2008
just so you know(if you dont already) team 8 was a tracking team not a recon team(team 10 was the recon team)
| thatguy chapter 1 . 4/8/2008
We know that the Hokage isnt going to let Sasuke into the final exams just because of the villagers petitions. but what will some of the higher ups do to resolve the situation?
| EPIC chapter 1 . 4/8/2008
| czgohan chapter 1 . 4/6/2008
great story, well written and discriptive and i got so happy when i saw your website and it showed chapter 15 is 100% with final beta please load it soon i cant wait to see the others reaction to Narutos unbelivibly fast defeat of sasuke (the jerk had it coming) again keep up the great work
| Petshop chapter 1 . 4/4/2008
This fanfic has been recommended by Petshop on Yumegatari.
| nenshoufox chapter 1 . 4/4/2008
When you mentioned the water splitting around Hinata rather than splashing her does that mean she'll have advanced elemental chakra control or is she going to be related to Haku?
Please update soon!
| madara-sama chapter 1 . 4/3/2008
| DarthValgaav chapter 1 . 3/28/2008
Hope you update soon
| narutojazz19 chapter 1 . 3/21/2008
wow this is actually a really good story
| GrayCoder chapter 1 . 3/17/2008
Let me start by saying that this is the first review I have ever written. But then, this is the first story that made me want to get off my lazy butt and write one. I am using this as a general review of the story thus far and not just for chapter one.
To start off general, you have a great writing style. It shows in your competence of in the English language as well as in your attention to detail, not too much and not too little. You don't seem reiterate details unless necessary as well. In point of fact, I am actually reading and enjoying your Harry Potter fiction and I am not big Harry Potter fan.
Moving to this story specifically, this is by far my favorite Naruto fan-fiction and definitely one of my favorite fan-fictions. I like how you have changed something seemingly small, but fundamental to the original. You have changed the team that Naruto is on but more importantly you have changed the dynamic between Naruto and Sasuke. They won't be friends or rivals and when Sasuke defects, which seems likely, it won't have the same effect on Naruto, if any at all. Despite this change, I like that you are not allowing it to drastically alter the general course of the whole story, and it shouldn't in my opinion. You appear to be using the original as a framework and only making changes where it makes the most sense. I could continue but I don't want to get too wordy.
Ultimately, I am thoroughly enjoying this fiction and I hope you continue.
| donna8157 chapter 1 . 3/14/2008
I'm just tagging this for future reading. :)
| Giant Turkey Sub chapter 1 . 3/2/2008
Seriously... this and "Two Halves" are THE best Naruto Fan Fictions I have ever read.
I was a Fan Fiction hater until I stumbled upon this gem while surfin'.
Seriously, keep this one going!
| Isa Knightwalker chapter 1 . 2/29/2008
I love the way you began this story, and I can't wait to see where it goes. So far, it sounds amazing.
| 2006 chapter 1 . 2/21/2008
Thank you for welcoming me to '06! LOL. Happy '08! So far I am very happy with what I've read. Onto the next chapter!
| Asgeras chapter 1 . 2/12/2008
This is one of the few fics I've even endevered to read which isn't based, at least partly, on Ranma One Half. There were just WAY too many people having it in their favs.
So far, I like the fic quite a bit and am looking forward to reading more. I won't promise continuing it to the end, but you've definitely peaked my curiosity. No matter what, however, thanks for posting what you've written so far.
| Matthew C chapter 1 . 2/11/2008
I love this story and I am wondering when will you either update it or finish it for I want to know what happens later.
| Mist33 chapter 1 . 2/10/2008
I just got done reading this story and wow! I love the idea you had of placing Naruto on team eight, it's a refreshing break from the usual Kakashi and team seven that most fics follow. Except for poor Tazuna he will be missed... a little anyways.
I enjoy the detail you place on Kurenai and her team both in combat times and also in their thoughts and interactions about each other, both as teammates and friends.
I must admit I was a little worried about the changes you made with Naruto getting rid of his impulsive attitude and using just Kage Bushin and hoping for the best. In the end it was worth it I believe and how he's actually making good use of his training is a nice change to the normal story.
Your version of kurenai is also great. Her tough love attitude towards the team as a group, yet caring and attentive to them both in a one on one aspect and from behind the scenes makes her a great sensei, far better then Kakashi being overly protective I think.
Over all a great story, looking forward to your updates!
| sheedy15 chapter 1 . 2/6/2008
I FUCKING LOVE YOUR STORY I LOVE ALL YOUR CHARACHTERS, FROM TEAM 8 AND FROM NIGHTMARES OF FUTURE PAST! I LOVE HOW LONG THE CHAPTERS ARE AND OF COURSE I LOVE HOW YOU ARE NOT JUST GOING TO ABANDON THESE STORIES...right?
| Joshua The Evil Guy chapter 1 . 2/1/2008
DUDE! What's taking so long in updating. From what I've seen so far, you've been on the ball and updating this Fic at least once a month since you started it. You gave us the Christmas update and then all of a sudden you MISS January?
And I wanna see who and what kind of training Naruto gets in the month before the Final/Invasion! You gonna include Jiraiya or not? What else have you got cooking up? How did Sasuke react to losing from one punch? How is Kakashi going to react to the news that *ALL THREE* of his genin *LOST* in the Preliminary Rounds?
C'MON Man! People want to know!
| Bandit666 chapter 1 . 1/31/2008
Great story, and I really only have one complaint: Random Japanese.
I'm not sure if it continues throughout the story, but please, assuming you continue and finish this story (I've seen far too many great novels fall in the middle to be too hopeful), don't substitute random Japanese words for English. Is it really so difficult to just type 'brat' or 'kid' instead of 'gaki'?
Aside from that, great job so far, and I look forward to reading the rest.
| NarProfiler chapter 1 . 1/25/2008
This is one of the best stories I've seen written as an adaptation. Your use of the original characters and their personalities is superb. I love the perspective from Team 8 and more information on Kurenai with as little as is given in the cannon. The writing style is excellent and well thought out. If there is anything bad I could say it would be the update speed, but that's not a bad thing really... it just means that people like the story and want to see / read / hear more of it.
| Legolam chapter 1 . 1/25/2008
I absolutley love this fic. It is the best naruto fic I have read and the second best fic of every fic I have ever read (More Equal Than You Know Being, a harry potter fic, being the First)
You are a fantastic writer and the only disappoinment I had was that there isn't even more (although it is alrady a considerable length)
Anyway, keep up the fantastic work and update soon (so I don't go insane in anticipation)
| WolfLord04 chapter 1 . 1/24/2008
whoa its offical with over 50 reviews you have reached a level of popularity with your story that few will ever had congrats.
| anko2468 chapter 1 . 1/22/2008
anko:I LUV KURENAI EVEN MORE, NOW!
shikafan:yeah, b4 anko decided on anko2468 as a name, she thought about KURENAIROX! or genjutsumastah so she could b like kurenai, and she some times goes by 1 of those.
shakakurulz:thing is, we dont tink its possible 4 her 2 luv kurenai or anko more then she already does.
| Kuro Fuyu Mitsukai chapter 1 . 1/18/2008
| galilab chapter 1 . 1/18/2008
This is excellent!
your fiction is almbitious, but it's definitly a success!
can't wait to read the rest
(pardon my english, i'm french -_-')
again, congratulations (ka-tching, in my favorites)
| Kyubi san chapter 1 . 1/16/2008
PLZ update soon this is one of the BEST fanfics i have ever read and im dying for the next one
| Divine Fighter chapter 1 . 1/8/2008
Love this, story, Love all the chapters.
| IVIaedhros chapter 1 . 1/8/2008
Interesting to see how you portray the difference in teaching styles as well as team mission. I look forward to reading the rest of this.
| MULAN-IFUWEREGAY chapter 1 . 1/7/2008
this is good
| Thisisnolongermyprofile chapter 1 . 1/3/2008
Good so far. Continue
| Lifehouse32 chapter 1 . 1/3/2008
I already love the story! I can see why it's so popular. I love the fact that Kurenai cares about Naruto. If there is one thing that I don't like about Kakashi (who is one of my favorite characters) it's that he never cared about Naruto enough.
| Zachary chapter 1 . 1/2/2008
I am really starting to like this story. I've come across some stories were the teams are different from the originals in the storylline, but I have to say that this will turn out to be a great read.
| FictionWeaver chapter 1 . 12/27/2007
Most of the stuff I figured while reading the chapter has already been said by your reviewers, but I was also wondering how much more it was going to affect Sasuke the fact that he got his ass handed to him so decisively by Naruto this time. In cannon Naruto's increased strength and ability (the fight between them with the rasengan and chidori before Sasuke left with the Orochimaru freaks) were probably one of the things that made him turn to Orochimaru I am thinking that it will be even more of an influence this time around. By the way, that little scene was awesome, and according with all the changes in the story it is also quite believable, Naruto dropping his weights before the match started and Sasuke running off his mouth in such an insensitive way against Hinata were two big-ass warning bells to me.
| hadar chapter 1 . 12/27/2007
I love your storys, and can't access "true colours". can you send me a link to the story?
| Facing Fear chapter 1 . 12/26/2007
Holy... this story is almost 2 years old... wow... I admire that, you never gave up on this story (Who would? It looks great!).
So I look forward to start reading this story, I can't right now, I have other... things to do.
I've read the first chapter and it's cool, so I'll have to put this aside for a while.
Ja ne, I'll try to leave a review for every chapter (not a promise) 5257 is A LOT, I'm jealous.
| socorro13 chapter 1 . 12/26/2007
omg i luved it! you write very well, and i luv the plot! all the characters and events actually match up! yay!
can't wait to read the next chapter! yay! XD
| DarkDragonessFliesEveryWhere chapter 1 . 12/26/2007
I have read this story more than once and I love it a lot and you are a great author so be happy that you made a great story because it is truly great!
| hovertin chapter 1 . 12/26/2007
Undoubtedly, another awesome chapter! )
| fmriver chapter 1 . 12/25/2007
Thanks for the Christmas Present!
I loved this last chapter.
someone mentioned in the reviews that they found the Naruto-Sasuke fight unrealistic but I disagree. I totally see it happening.
you showed how little Sasuke matters in Naruto's head while stating how amazing his victory is for everyone else through Kurenai's reaction.
I think that is the ultimate show of Naruto's growing maturity. He didn't stop to banter, he just kicked ss and went back to what mattered, Hinata.
I guess there's going to be a lot of drama in the month before the Finals (Hiashi-Naruto interaction perhaps?) and probably more followup of Hinata's recovery.
That was one thing I hated about the original series, they throw the Hinata situation into our faces and then there's barely any followup. Just the fact that Naruto beat up Neji for hurting Hinata, but no visits or character development.
Sasuke is probably gonna fester, especially since he is now tecnically parto of the weakest rookie team (the others got 2 team members into the finals).
I really really REALLY HOPE you update soon. This is one of the best fanfics I've read, and the only real criticism I've got is how long it takes for the next chapter.
| pyroko chapter 1 . 12/25/2007
wheres chapter 14
| DarkHeroOrion chapter 1 . 12/24/2007
I like how this story is progressing. Kurenai and her strong conviction put all of her contemporaries to shame. That was one of the parts that I liked. If Kishimoto-sama had written it this way, it would be VERY interesting. I can't wait to read more.
| kaptin-hippy chapter 1 . 12/14/2007
Good story so far. It's good to find an author who actually sees the value and importance of proper grammar and good word usage. I'm looking forward to reading the rest.
| THE UNKNOWN lazy chapter 1 . 12/13/2007
Just another review to add to your ego. ROFLMAO on Naruto's 2 sick clones.
| Niko Nightwind chapter 1 . 12/10/2007
Wow... this is absolutely awesome. Extremely well thought out, extremely well executed, a fresh idea, characters that don't get half the spotlight they deserve... I love this, and I'm only one chapter in. I've spent so much time picking through the crap in this fandom and reading things that mostly suck but have a single interesting aspect that make it hard to put down, but you have me totally caught. I'll review more as I read more...
I really like the in-depth characterization, in particular. You make them all very real, which is something the show even glosses over the majority of the time. I'm seriously falling over myself adoring the perspective you're spinning here.
| The Frog Lady 88 chapter 1 . 12/5/2007
An excellent AU, exceptionally well written, with a plot well thought out! You deserve all my admiration for having started such an ambitious project.
Thanks for sharing your wonderful work with us!
| Narutochica chapter 1 . 12/3/2007
This is pretty good for a first chapter, and I enjoy your stories a lot.
| Klaelman chapter 1 . 12/2/2007
Rereading the story, cuz I like it so damn much. I found something that annoys me-in the fic, at this point:
“Kurenai-chan!” Moritake-san called out with a smile. “And who is the Gaki?”
“This is Uzumaki Naruto,” she said in a loud voice, “one of my new students.”
She was a little disappointed to see the hesitant expression on Moritake’s face, but he quickly mastered it and smiled at the boy. “I know what she wants, but how about some tea, kid?”
What irritates me about it is a subtle attitude one finds in a lot of fanfiction-everything associated with the main character is perfect, or extremely close to it. I'm looking at Kurenai's attitude as the main issue-hers is supposed to be the correct one, pointing out everyone's flaws, as well as those of society. It's borderline mary-sue, but that's not what I'm complaining about. This bartender is apparently a close acquaintance or friend of Kurenai, and reflecting on her near-perfect reaction to Naruto's being the cage of the demon is his almost perfect response.
I'm not really sure if I'm saying this right; I may have just stated that in a completely incomprehensible way. Is there any chance you understood what I meant?
| SpaceNugget11 chapter 1 . 12/1/2007
I'm sure you've heard this many times but, I just have to say that this is an amazing story! I love it! The characters are amazingly realistic and I can just imagine all of this actually taking place if kurenai, indeed, was chosen to be Naruto's teacher! I hope you continue with this story!
| Fox-Shinescar chapter 1 . 11/17/2007
yo I like this and I was wondering could you make the reason my friend Nine-tailed fox AKA as Kitsunes all call him, Kyubi
| Sharkteeth chapter 1 . 10/27/2007
very interesting i always thought that naruto would be better if he was'nt on team 7
| Princess Malika chapter 1 . 10/26/2007
OMGOSH! This story is FREAKING AWESOME! I LOVE it so far! _
| Lady Bonbones chapter 1 . 10/23/2007
I don't care for the OCC, I love your fic! It's so...I can't find the words but the 1st chapter has left me hypnotized.
| New Dragon Rider chapter 1 . 10/20/2007
Wow. This was only chapter ONE? That was amazing! And long...and I still have 10 chapters left...*faints*
| Byakugan789 chapter 1 . 10/18/2007
aww, dont describe it as mental constipation...rofl. naruto's awsome, and you obviosly seem to like the story. with your level of understanding of the charactors and story thus far, how could you not? if the rest of the story continues at the same level of excelance then id love to see what you have for harry potter! neither story has many good fan writers. most of the great ones on naruto are by a small collection of avid authors.
you also do well in makeing kurenai from a likeable, yet reletively unknown, into a highly likeable and righ charactor. that is if your work so far is a good judge of the rest )
PS: i read alot and rarely praise. i rarely review for that matter.
| Setsuko-san chapter 1 . 10/13/2007
I wonder what will happen between hinata and naruto hmm oh well read on
| NaruHinaLuver chapter 1 . 10/10/2007
I fricken love your story! It's amazing, I love your concepts, your grammer, and your the way your characters are! You rock :D
| rasenbyakuluv chapter 1 . 10/5/2007
Hi! I just joined this website, but i know for a fact that before I joined I read at least, like fifty stories. Yours is one of the best so far, but please write more, I'm on the forest of death chapter. Wanna see watcha come up with next.
| dragonboy18 chapter 1 . 10/4/2007
great story. oh and if youre still interested in This Means War by Jeconais, you can find the full story at jeconais. hope to get the next chapter soon
| Rauchster chapter 1 . 9/17/2007
Found this story through a favorites list of one of my favorite authors "Daneel Rush -Koushi-"
I like it, and am looking forward to continuing reading this piece.
There were some minor surface errors, mostly spelling. But it was limited to under 10, so for a chapter of this size, it's acceptable.
To prove how minor they were, I can't even recall what they were without going back and reading through again.
I like the storyline, not the most original, but I think that your idea behind the story (Naruto having a stable teacher) is a relatively undeveloped idea.
Grammar is good, with a rare mistake, but again, nothing major.
Flow is great, you have a good way of transitioning.
Detailing is good, you always make sure to add something to the scene. It could be more, but it's easily sufficient.
Character Development, well you haven't done much yet, except for a small amount of Kurenai backstory. BUT, I have a feeling his will be developed later on, just as it should be.
Hopefully this story continues to be as good as the first chapter, and lives up to it's favorited status.
Ja Ne! Rauchster
| Kadai chapter 1 . 9/16/2007
Nice update, I look forward to seeing the next update
| LianFex chapter 1 . 9/16/2007
Holy cow...a very long and a more than astouding job! Very very very WELL-WRITTEN and I would love to read more, however, I really have to sleep now. At first, I was impressed at the number of reviews and based on someone's profile, this is the number 1 fic in Naruto that got the largest amount of reviews...? Anyway, I don't really read NaruHina but reading this made me wonder. Now I know why you got a hell lot of reviews~! MORE THAN AWESOME job and you'll see me as soon as I read this again! You got great talent and hopefully you'll update again.
| Rianestorm chapter 1 . 9/13/2007
I have to re-read this whole story every time you update! I just hate when I forget something. LOL
Anyway I don't know if I ever reviewed before, but I've been reading this forever and I really like it.
| encyser chapter 1 . 9/13/2007
If Naruto keeps changing, then he won't be the Naruto I've known and loved. So thanks for the entertaining first chapter, but this is as far as I want to go.
| Tiky3000 chapter 1 . 9/13/2007
I first read nightmares of futures past. After that I downloaded naruto just so I could enjoy this fic. You're an amazing author, keep it up!
| BandGeekNinja chapter 1 . 9/12/2007
let the angelic choruses ROAR!
| phatpigeats chapter 1 . 9/12/2007
yea good chapter can't wait for the next chapter
| Goatis chapter 1 . 9/11/2007
I can only hope that you again continue with this series...I checked you FF page and you seem to be concentrating on your HP series since that story was updated last in August...but please! There are a lot of fans for this story too! We all hope to see more for this series, we just enjoy it so much, and you've done such a great job writing it! Anyways, hoping, praying, begging...whatever it takes...that you write more for this series.
| Artemus chapter 1 . 9/6/2007
Dont worry about it. It may be a break but it so far is a good story, and besides I like the spin on it. They do appear in character. Keep up the good work.
| Nosferatum chapter 1 . 9/1/2007
I've just thought about something... While Naruto is training with his clones he is retaining knoledge from them, right? But essentually the thing that separates a child from an adult from an elderly person (considering it's one person) is amount of time passed and experience gained. Even if clones are just training (though they may be not) they have their own mind during their existance, and they think and conclude. Therefore I believe that logically this should bring Naruto to age mentally much (and I mean MUCH) quicker than usual...
| SovietSniper92 chapter 1 . 8/30/2007
im not 1 2 be a naruhina fan but nice story plz review
| Khaeos chapter 1 . 8/30/2007
I usually read alot of Naruto fanfics, especially NaruHina pairings. They usually go the same pace, the same way. While it's not necessarily a bad thing, it can get kind of boring.
However, you've taken a unique spin on things. I often wondered what would happen if he had been on Team 8 rather then 7. You're writing is very good as well, nowhere near as stuffy so far as most. This is only after reading the first chapter, but keep up the good work either way!
| Jahfan chapter 1 . 8/24/2007
amazing story i admire yur writing skill
| Rokudaime56 chapter 1 . 8/19/2007
This is good.
| Yumizuki chapter 1 . 8/18/2007
You know, I really like the sentence structure and some of the vocabulary in this chapter! i.e. "ineradicable". _
I have to add this to my favs and alerts - i need to go to bed and read it later :D
| mu-beta chapter 1 . 8/15/2007
This is absolutely brilliant...And I believe that this is the FIRST story I've ever read in which Naruto FINALLY realizes that Sakura is an , Matthew-sama.
| DaneeDarling chapter 1 . 8/14/2007
| Doggi-chan chapter 1 . 8/9/2007
hey this has to be one of the greatest naruto fics i have ever read. it has great detail and i hope you keep with the story. O.
| 5337281 chapter 1 . 8/8/2007
Hm... I just found out about this story in one of my random site wanderings, and it took me two days of reading to catch up on this. Not only do I admire the leangth of you're chapters but the detail you put into each character.
I think Naruto being on Team 8 would be better for him if it had happened in the anime. In Team 7, as you led me to believe in Chapter...8? Naruto would've been stuck with Sasuke and Sakura. I've always wondered why those two never even suspected a thing about Naruto, even after the bridge builder, when Naruto almost beat Haku to a pulp after Sasuke 'died'. I now realize that getting stuck on team 7 was the worst thing the creators of the show could do on Naruto's behalf. Sasuke is too self-absorbed and bent on vengance that he is blind to alot of things and Sakura is too obsessed with Sasuke.
I am also leaning towards Shino being one of my favorite characters. I really don't see many Fanfics with him in them, so how you put detail into him and his family is great.
Naruto needed a team that would be more than a team for him, that would stand behind him, too. It's gonna be interesting to see how this story continues further into the chunnin exams.
Eh, and that's it for my reveiw. I sorta clumped all of the story int one reveiw.
| Eerie Iri chapter 1 . 8/6/2007
I love this story!_
| Nikkolite chapter 1 . 8/4/2007
| Tonnerre chapter 1 . 8/2/2007
I can't wait for the rest. This is a very interesting subject. Alot of people wanted him on Team 8 anyway. Good for you pleasing the people! I think you'll make lots of strides with this. Hell you already have!
| RyuHll chapter 1 . 7/31/2007
got this from a friend and started 's very well done...I like it.I can't wait to see more.I've been thinking of working on an OOC , differently than you, I think, from what I've angsty Naruto sorta change in his sensei or team, but a lot , can't wait to read more.
| Firefly Lanturns chapter 1 . 7/30/2007
please update soon! This is a great fic!
| hinatanaruto chapter 1 . 7/26/2007
hey I read all part of the story one by one and I like how you wrote about naruto and hinata, but I was wonder when you are going to continue to write because I like your story very much.
Hope you don't let the story incomplete like other people who write great stories too but they didn't finish it.
Hopfully I will see your writing again.
| Narutomaniac chapter 1 . 7/26/2007
This story is really really good I'm really enjoying it though I have one question. Did you write this chapter before or after the manga told the secret behind the Kage Bushin No Jutsu? That secret being that whatever a shadow clone learns like reading something, or going on recon, or even chakra control goes back to the user when it's dispelled, which allows for someone like Naruto to get like 10 years of practice done in like a week. Anyways onwards to the next chapter!
| Kage Husha chapter 1 . 7/16/2007
Yo, S'TarKan - I'm having trouble accessing your website Is it still there? Are YOU still around? And why have you shut off private messaging? Too many people pissing you off? Please, let me know what's up. Thank you.
| iheartmwpp chapter 1 . 7/10/2007
Wow, really long chapter, but I shouldn't be surprised after reading HP&NFP. And it was just as good. we really don't know that much about Kurenai, now that I think about it...Question, do you have a thing for writing stories about insomniacs or something? Whatever, it's all good. I didn't really think that people as old as thirty would still like Naruto, but this only reinforces how popular it is. It is incredibly good once you get passed Naruto's idiocy. Oh, please tell me Haku shows up later - oh yeah, you already wrote a lot more for this, I probably will find out sooner or later, huh? O, Gaara's gonna show up later, right? Right? Heh, gotta keep reading to find out I guess. And I apologize now if my reviews sound stupid, I just type whatever's in my head that has to do with the story. Need to read more now...
| Halcyon Nights chapter 1 . 7/9/2007
...wow...this story is awesome!
| Kempodragon chapter 1 . 7/9/2007
I've followed your story from the beginning, and while I do have some minor quibbles with your story,(i.e. Henge is clearly listed as a ninjutsu, not genjutsu in both Wikipedia and NarutoFan), overall it is very well thought out. So far you've managed to keep to the manga and anime without any major problems and most likely you could follow it right up to the end of time break. The major divergence is Hinata. You've been dropping hints that things will come to a breaking point between her and Hiashi. He has already publicly called Hanabi his heir, namely the rescue mission, and Hinata has admitted to herself that there is no place for her in the clan. My guess is that Hinata will be disowned and expelled from the clan after her fight with Neji. While cruel, in the end it could be the best thing for her. Hinata will be free to find her own strength without having to meet impossible expectations.
| BarnOwl93 chapter 1 . 7/9/2007
... Holy freaking snot. This is *amazing*. o.o And you made it make PERFECT sense...! Gah. Wow. o_O I really am shocked speechless right now. I must. Read. More. *favorites*
| KinKitsune01 chapter 1 . 7/8/2007
Possibly one of the best prologues I've ever read since reading "Lacking Sight"(it's on my fave's list - can't remember author's name). You've opened new doors to the character of Kurenai for me. I thank you for that. :)
| x0SilverFeathersx0 chapter 1 . 7/6/2007
I usually hate to read very long chapters, but this was way too good and caught my eye right away.
You're a great writer and the characters are IN character!
Also you make Kurenai's intelligence shine brightly, especially with her sensible reasonings and all.
Gee thank you for keeping me up til 5am. ;]
| Hebi R chapter 1 . 7/4/2007
A fic recommendation; when I read this I thought of Team 8.
Starlight and Logic
| TheSilverHeart chapter 1 . 6/30/2007
On Chapter one after a recommendation and I love it so far.
I will read until my eyes bleed.
| JH chapter 1 . 6/24/2007
"She wasn’t happy about being forced to work in a team again, but when the Hokage asks, he doesn’t necessarily have to say please.
The fact that Sarutobi did so made him even harder to refuse."
I was totally not excpecting that right there. THis is where you had me hooked. Normally I can predict stories word for word, the fact that I couldn't even see the second paragraph just got you another impressed reader.
Kurenai is very interesting here. I am surprised that she is the only jonin scouting out potential genin, but then again Kakashi and Asuma are the other jonins.
I have one comment. The Hyuuga must have done something terrible to Kurenai; she's normally too open to be biased.
So: Everyone tends to make the Hyuuga out to be cruel people. Is there a reason for this? I think Hirashi made a point to change during the chuunin exams, so maybe they aren't terrible. That does not excuse however his behavior to his kin. His abusiveness strikes a sore spot close to home. So he deserves Kurenai's scathing view-we agree there.
I liked how Kurenai was smugly proud of Hinata for having a crush on Naruto. Cute, and in the character of your story.
Her theory on ninja is insightful-never thought of it that way myself. What does she think of Gai?
Wow. Interesting change of teams. However, it was to be expected. With Kurenai in the spotlight of the narrator most of the time how else would anyone learn anything about Naruto. I especially like Kurenai's insight on the genin hopefuls. I like the point she brought up about Naruto and his tenant.
I do not understand why they beat him. Could they not tell that poor Naruto did not wish to the the Uchiha? Aside for the spitting and gagging, he was pushed. Stupid ninnies. (I like the 'TM' on the fanclub.)
There was a review commenting on your use of Japanese. I understand his/her point and normally favor it myself, but I understand your use of it as well. Honestly to take away Hinata's use of 'ano' is like taking away Naruto's blonde hair-simply not done. However, I hope you're not one of those people who throw around Japanese like a trapize artist throwing around people. That tends to be annoying and gets in the way of those reading a story. Kudos that you don't seem to do that in my opinion.
I'm impressed with how you write Shino. Your own brain must be one of high intellect itself.
Love how Naruto beat Sasuke, and learned that Sakura isn't the nicest person. Humph, maybe now he'll wise up.
"Was I ever that young and stupid? Surely not.”
Okay. That is one of the most hilarious things I have ever read. Mainly beacuse it's so realistic. The older generation watching the younger and pondering if they were ever like that, before deciding that they weren't. Thanks for the humor.
Was that Shino being sacastic? Hee-hee! Guess he'll have to eat his words now that Naruto proved how good his Kage Bunshin is.
The whole conversation between Naruto and Kurenai made me laugh. Naruto's horror at his favorite food stunting his growth is just too funny not to imagine. Neat genjutsu.
Was the "Kurenai-sama" intentional, or did you mean "Kurenai-sensei"?
I like how Kurenai is so dedicated to her students, but if she becomes obessive...And already her anger at those who've treated Naruto poorly have blinded her. The Hokage may be the leader of the villiage, but that doesn't mean he can control everyone. The pain of a ruler...
Glad I found this when there are so many chapter. I'd hate to have to wait for the next one after reading this chapter. Great writing/creativity!
| Jage360 chapter 1 . 6/22/2007
I would first like to say to you, Thank you. Its not to often that a story can wisk you away to another place and keep you there; but you have been able to do that for me flawlessly. Your story has kept me glued for sometime and I truley envy for that. I see no reason why this should not be made into a full fledged book. If there is anyway I can help at all throug your story makeing it would my pleasure to help. Once more I truely thank you for this story and I iwll keep reading till its end.
| general skittles chapter 1 . 6/19/2007
i love your story so you need to finish it soon please
| Nakashima Ayumi chapter 1 . 6/19/2007
I was a little skeptical about reading it at first, but after the first chapter, I was hooked.
Can't wait to see what else you put out, so don't take too long updating please.
| Tiro chapter 1 . 6/18/2007
I really find this story interesting and inspiring. Keep up the good work!
| SplotchOfScribbles chapter 1 . 6/16/2007
I love this story! gotta say the plot and differation from the origonal is awesome. the skill and maturity that naruto attains is something to be desired in the origonal. Hope for more in the near future!
| Misaotheokashira chapter 1 . 6/14/2007
OMG! A story written by a grown-up! How do I thank you? If I had to go into anymore stories to find out they were written by 16 year-old fangirls, I was going to cry. I think you're right, Naruto is the way he is because of the neglect that he suffers at the hands of an apathetic village. If someone took him under their wing, how could his behavior NOT differ from the original storyline offered in the manga/anime. (Kakashi was an excellent example of this, he all but shunned poor Naruto to coddle Sauske.) If someone had taken care of him, there's no telling how great he would have been upon his graduating the academy.
I plan on catching up this week, but I had to let you know how much I appreciated your work.
| laceypinkdream chapter 1 . 6/14/2007
| Trance Sephiroth chapter 1 . 6/11/2007
| Genki-angel-chan chapter 1 . 6/11/2007
omigod omigod omigod! I've never seen a story like this and I love it so much! I have always liked Kurenai but I find she is always shoved in the back round along with Hinata and Shino. He is almost never spotlighted but I've always thought he has the potential to be an awesome character. I've always loved Hinata... her crush on Naruto is adorable right? Aw, Naruto is adorable! Well I'm gonna read more now okay? HOLY CRAP you have alot of reviews! Well, more the merrier, neh? :D
| Kage of the village hidden in the Blood chapter 1 . 6/5/2007
Isn't Kurenai showing a lot of favoritism to wondering.
| Nozomi-dono chapter 1 . 6/4/2007
go kurenai .ive never read a story with this kinda of twist before. i likes ;P
this fiction is really well written and thought through
your a great writer!
| Matt chapter 1 . 6/4/2007
Love the story keep it up.
| Skullera chapter 1 . 6/2/2007
still as good as ever1 more!
| soara chapter 1 . 6/1/2007
A good chapter! The story is fast-paced... just the way I like it!
| Chuckamaru chapter 1 . 6/1/2007
You have an amazing writing style! The idea is also very creatuve. I'm definitely feeling this story. Unfortunately it's quite long, so I'll have to come back and read the rest some other time. Don't worry, though, I will be back!
| Dragnew chapter 1 . 6/1/2007
Another brilliant chapter. I'm also enjoying True Colours as well. Keep it up.
| Elias Herrera chapter 1 . 5/29/2007
Best story ever! Please update.
| MicDDciM chapter 1 . 5/28/2007
Brilliant story. One of the best that I have read so far. I love the idea, the fact that just because Naruto is on a different team so many events/people have been affected. I also like the fact that you have made Shino a main character, he's one of my favourite characters.
I can't wait for the next installments, to see how Naruto, Hinata and Shino do in the Chuunin Exam and beyond. I really want to know what happens in the fight between Sasuke and Gaara after the exam, because if Naruto isn't there to fight Gaara then Sakura/Kiba/Sasuke could die. I also want to know if Naruto still meets Jiraiya and learns the Summoning technique.
I would love for this to go on as long as the manga does. It's just as good. Really worth reading. I've wrote quite a lot for a small review I think so I'll stop now. Excellent work. Actually Now.
| Elias Herrera chapter 1 . 5/24/2007
Please update. It's such a good story!1
| Elias Herrera chapter 1 . 5/21/2007
Awesome story! It's very well written!
| Sapwood2 chapter 1 . 5/15/2007
Wow, you're really good at writing! I knew I should of read this before those evil Naruto stories.
| Elias Herrera chapter 1 . 5/15/2007
Best story I have read! please update
| Anon Ymous chapter 1 . 5/13/2007
AWESOME. but UPDATE NOW! i know u have better to do than write a story but still up date please, also DIE SAKURA!
| netbreaker0 chapter 1 . 5/12/2007
I love your Kurenia
| Amari Kazama chapter 1 . 5/9/2007
Dude this is one of the best fics I've read
And trust me I've read a lot of fics...xD
| King Bokira chapter 1 . 5/8/2007
Please update soon because your story is you read my story and tell me what i should work name is Nomad Ninja,
Update Soon Please
| Elias Herrera chapter 1 . 5/4/2007
Best story ever.
| Red Monkey chapter 1 . 5/3/2007
Your Story is so vivid and well another note i'm releasing my new naruto fic Watch Your so you know thats the title.
| Brownkun chapter 1 . 5/2/2007
wow...nice fic... never thot naruto would actually get TRAINED
| Kirek chapter 1 . 4/30/2007
Alright, just wow. Since a very long time, this fic made me feel so giddy and eager to read more, it's unreal. I honestly hope the rest of the chapters continue the quality you set in this first one, if so, I don't think I'll be getting much sleep tonight.
Just great detailing, interaction, descriptions.
I bow down in worship.
| Sir Deadpool chapter 1 . 4/27/2007
i hope you do
1. make naruto eat his veggies an dgrow taller or have a kyuubi indused growth spurt to make him just as tall as the other kids and get rid of the piece of shit jumpsuit
2. make sasuke get off emo avenger ness
| Ghostlanxx chapter 1 . 4/26/2007
Wow, this is very interesting. I've just finished reading a fic that had Naruto in Kurenai's team, but it was different, focused more on Naruto, while this is mostly from the point of view of the jounin.
I like it a lot - by the end when Kurenai slowly realised why Naruto only eats ramen and wears that suit (I think it really might have something like that - he'd been wearing it for such a long time that he even grew attracted to the color) it all was very enjoyable and stuff.
| Bucks chapter 1 . 4/25/2007
tHIS IS VERY GOOD. KEEP IT UP.
| Elias Herrera chapter 1 . 4/19/2007
Best story ever. Please update.
| Elias Herrera chapter 1 . 4/16/2007
Still my #1 story. Please update.
| IndiZone chapter 1 . 4/13/2007
| PurpleAjah chapter 1 . 4/8/2007
Wow, I really like! XD Do not usually read team-centric fics, but yours is very interesting and I can't wait to read on.
I love the small switch in characters (Kiba for Naruto) and the awesome glow in Kurenai's eyes XDD
"(Yeah, Jiraiya did care for the boy later on, but the Toad-Sennin is irresponsibility incarnate.)" Ah but you have to admit Jiraiya is so one of the coolest characters o.o! I think he is a lot like Kakashi... Uh... Will stop spamming review now.
Anyway, all over it was a good start to the story, and I'm off to read more! -ajah
| Lady Silverhawk chapter 1 . 4/5/2007
Cool. You make the AU seem realistic. Nice job.
| Lionheart chapter 1 . 4/4/2007
You know, your rather excellent description of how to break genjutsu techniques makes me think there might be an alternate way Lee could learn to reopen blocked chakra points.
In a mirror of the ways to break genjutsus, Naruto can force them open by massive chakra pressure, while Lee could theoretically cause the blockage to fall away by applying a near-total absence of pressure. I know of a great many blocks that are held in place by the force of whatever is behind them, and that may (or may not, at your discretion) apply here.
If it does, Neji is in for more than one surprise.
A potential second step, if you are of a mind to use it, would be for Lee to actually learn to reverse the direction of his flow of chakra for a brief instant, pushing those blockages free from the other side. I only mention this possibility because that bears the potential later on for him to learn to absorb chakra from his environment, pulling it in through those holes that normally express it. In fact, there is a ninja theoretically loyal to Konoha (one of Kabuto's teammates) who already has a chakra absorption technique going, working and active, and I'm sure Gai would know of him and be able to do something. Perhaps (though I hate to even contemplate doing it, as the guy is a traitor) arranging an exchance, giving some amount of training in exchange for the absorption technique.
Or, if not, then by hard work Gai and Lee could learn to recreate it (perhaps with a bit of Hinata's help).
I love the idea, as a chakra absorbing Lee is just frightening to contemplate, especially if he can learn to use temporarily absorbed energy to power his own genjutsu and ninjitsu that he could never have learned to power without it.
It gives him a growth path, if you wish to use it.
| Emperor Jaden chapter 1 . 4/2/2007
An excellent story so far! Truel brillant! I can't wait to read more. Adding this to my laerts and favourites for sure. *Grins* Until my next review...
| Crazed Inventor Lucca chapter 1 . 3/31/2007
holy S(Beep)! you really know how to crash and burn someone's spirits. here i thought i had some writting talent anf then i read this. I'm getting emotional from this i'm starting to cry. (That or it's the fact i didn't blink when i started to read this). This will help me slightly understand Shino a little more, plus satisfy my hanger to see Naruto and Hinata together. however, people like you tend to lose me, if it's not to much trouble, mind telling me the definitions of the Japanese words your using mean? it would help me stay focused and know what they are saying. please make more diamonds like this one!
| Dramil chapter 1 . 3/30/2007
just wanted to ad you to my favs.
I live for your story. LIVE for it. if you don't accomplish but one thing in your life. Finish this story. I love shino and his vocabulary. Very funny. good job. nice character development.
| BigBrownBear chapter 1 . 3/28/2007
Good stuff man, ive read this story before up to your latest update and i cant wait to get there, though i hope you update more offten becuase your story is amazing!
I like the first chatper so keep it up and ill keep reading :)
| griffin blackwood chapter 1 . 3/26/2007
| j.curl chapter 1 . 3/17/2007
I usually wait until the last chapter of a story to leave a review, but after reading just the first, I'm so impressed I had to do it now. Original plot, yes, but the fact that it is so well thought out and detailed is what makes this idea truly great.
| Regrem Erutaerc chapter 1 . 3/16/2007
I just reallized somethin' due to some re-readin' as well as a comment on your blog. Technically, the only ones who know of who killed the missing nin are Team 8, Sarutobi, and Kakashi.
Though, it would be possible for Tsume to have detected that he did indeed kill at least one of them, if not two of them. And, throughout it, she would detect that the only blood at all on Hinata or Shino were her own. While Kurenai had two, and Naruto had three. She could likely deduce as much, since she IS a master of the Inuzuka clan.
Either way though, Team 7 finding out I would think would be inevitable. Whether it be through that massively surprising way, and the kinder way as well, or rather through the indifferent yet blunt way of Kakashi... Or even both. XD
In any case, I cannot wait to see the next one. And, I have a feeling that them discovering that would make Sasuke both jealous while at the same time more respectful of them, the respect goin' for all three Team 7 members to varying degrees.
Anyways, can't wait to see your next chapter._ I check daily to see if there's any progress on that blog of yours, if you know what I mean.;)
| nadinex chapter 1 . 3/16/2007
you got a great story going on here.
i'm kinda sick of those super powerful naruto fics. this one he gets stronger by hard work and it takes time.
you haven't updated in quite sometime, planning on updating it or just gonna keep on going with ya hp story? an answer would be highly appreciated.
thanks in advance,
| Anon chapter 1 . 3/15/2007
It's folks like John Doe that just piss me off. John Doe, you just don't seem to understand the time it takes to write a story. Yeah, he's got another story he is dealing with but so what? It's his choice. He doesn't have to update at all if he doesn't want to. Even still why are you writing a review on a story you obviously don't like or impatient for the next update on this fab story.
Tell ya what John Doe. Why don't you stop looking at this story and find something else to entertain you're time with.
| gizm chapter 1 . 3/15/2007
A very nice story, and even though your other story HPatNoFP is just as well, I find myself hoping that you will update this story next.
| Regrem Erutaerc chapter 1 . 3/12/2007
As you continue workin' on this wonderous story, Matt, just wanted to point out somethin' to ya. Seemed that in the last chapter, though not by much, Hinata's bravery slightly went backwards as compared to the chapter before it, though only slightly. As did her belief in herself, and this part had no reason for it happening since everyone was believing in her during that chapter. Just thought I'd point that out._
Let's see. Hope you still include someone's scene of Kiba findin' out about the truth about Team 8's mission. And, through Kiba, Team 7 learning of it. Due to Haku's influence and the fact that for once, Naruto wasn't as cocky or smirky, Sasuke wouldn't be mad at Naruto for not telling them, though he'd definately be irritated that Naruto beat him, though not so much since he actually was modest about it and didn't rub it in. Just a thought. And, maybe Sakura will not hate Naruto as much then either, I hope. Though I want him to end up with Hinata for certain, keeping that friendship that developed through the other timeline wouldn't be bad. Not needed, of course, but not bad.
Hmm... I also hope to see more fluff in the next chapter, but, considering you continue to make it so reallistic, it's probably best to take things at your own pace, eh? You always provide the best results then, it seems._
Oh, and though Naruto hasn't been as vocal as much now, and not so much of a show off, he's still one to not be quiet about backing down when something counts, and he wouldn't let his team down, so I hope that he still helps influence the results of the first exam like he did previously... though how he does could be different if you arrange it right. Though, for that, I have absolutely no idea how that could be different.
Also, with how fast Team 8 will likely get through the second exam, how will their waiting in the tower for the others go? And, will they become friends with Gaara's team earlier in the series, or at least thaw them out a little earlier? Or will that just make them more weary of Gaara's team, despite trying to be their friends?
Geez... there's so many possibilities here that it's frightening, but that's what makes this so exciting._ And, then there's how you made fluff moments between Naru/Hina as real as possible, while at the same time adding the new pairing of Iruka/Kurenai(which, by the way, I really love how you carried that out_).
And then, there's how creative Naruto is, and how he constantly likes to come up with his own versions of attacks he uses and sees, like you showed with both his Shocking Grasp and his flying kick that turned into a heel kick when he sparred Shino during the C-Rank mission. So many possibilities...
I also wonder if Naruto will be revealing his secret to any other people now. It seems that the more people he reveals it to, the more confident he becomes, and the less he cares about people learning about it.
Either way, I must say, very well done.:D And I can't wait until you get the next amazing chapter finished.
| The Gemini Project chapter 1 . 3/12/2007
Since it seems I cannot leave a review for a chapter more than once, I guess I will review this chapter then. While it has been a while since your last update, I find myself irked by some of the people who have reviewed your story lately. The mindless ramblings of people upset that you don't update often do not take into account the amount of time that obviously goes into any chapter of any story you write.
I guess what it is I am getting at is please don't listen to the people that are in the minority who might make you feel discouraged with the thought of continuing this story. It was this story that helped influence my desire to write on this website because it was so well written and intelligently thought out. To think that there are people like the John Doe who reviewed and told you to stay out of this genre is disgusting and disturbing, because it is those people who have no taste for a true gift - which you possess.
Having said that, I found myself bored with the lack of stories that intrigue me, so I chose to re-read your story and I am still awed by this story. I've tried to critique more when I leave reviews but I just have trouble finding anything wrong except for the occasional spelling error but we all have those. Keep up the good work and I sincerely hope to see your continued efforts on this story. Until next time. Ja ne!
~ The Gemini Project
| henriette chapter 1 . 3/11/2007
As Im sure you have noticed -being a Harry Potter fan- your Team 7 sounds like a fucked up Golden Trio : )
You have Kiba Ron
Sasuke a Draco-like Harry without the hothead-ingness
I'll be looking forward to the exam for that team without the powerhouse that is Naruto...I mean, Sakura is useless in the whole first part of the series...so you basically is left with two arrogant selfish boys to make it true...
How is the next chapter looking? Do you have a plan on when you will post it? I'm really glad I tumbled over this story, keep up the brilliant work man!
| John Doe chapter 1 . 3/10/2007
You have no respect to the naruto fan so just stop. You don't update on your useless thing called a blog and it looks like you care about more about your harry potter story line then do you about the naruto story line so just stop and just do your stupid harry potter story and leave the naruto universe and fan alone. If you are pissed with this review so what. Thank you if you stop writing this story.
| J.F.C chapter 1 . 3/6/2007
I have never read a story were Naruto was given a diferemt team, up to the next chap.
| Type-00 chapter 1 . 3/1/2007
interestng story... I think I'll enjoy it.
| Mystic4 Gohan chapter 1 . 2/26/2007
Hello I usually don't do this, but this is an awesome story and I love it so much. With one of the most regular naruto stories on here being discontinued for maybe ever because of the author going to boot camp I'm forced to ask, Will this story be updated soon? It really is one of the best Naruto stories out there at the moment. I know you are focusing on your other story and this was only a kind of side project, but I was hoping that you would focus on this story a little also as it has developed quite a following.
Please please please update soon.
| w-matt-s chapter 1 . 2/25/2007
awsome keep writing ive read chapter 1 and i would like there to be more thanv 10 chapters as i will probably read it all tonight
| Cola Kid chapter 1 . 2/25/2007
I think I've reviewed this story before... Regardless, this has been my favourite story on I've read. I love how you have characterized everyone. It's intresting to see how much a character's history can change when fate intervenes. Hope you update sooner rather than later!
Also, I hope you start bringing in the rest of the Kohana Eleven. I'd love to see what you do with them. :]
| Tommy chapter 1 . 2/25/2007
I just wanted to say say that I loved your fan-fictuion on Team 8. I just started reading it today 02 23 07 and it was a great read, once i started reading chapter one I could not even get up to use the bathroom until I completed all ten chapters. I think that you captured the charcters and what drives them very well, and It was intresting to see soemthing from the naruto universe so well written, that exspanded the charcters in ways I never thought of. I would love to try and help you by telling you something you could do better, but i think everything was great. (including the jutsu names that I thought were fine, and well i can speak japanese perceftly I can read and understand most and the names seemed both logical and understandable to me. Once i finished reading Iwas dismayed at the date of the last update, adn i understand that u do this as tool to improve your writing, and you are not being paid. That being said I hop to see that you have updated soon, and I will be checking back multiple times a day for an update. If u do not intend to comple this story would u kindly allow me to see your outline because I am caught up in this story and would really like to see where you planned on going with the story. I hope that is not the case and I hope peole stop harrasing you using harsh words. In my opinion you are a genious and an excellent writer. Thank you for entertaing so much mathew samma and I hope to see more on team * as soon as you have so fee time and the will to write them.
| t-fly chapter 1 . 2/23/2007
Wow, you have a lot of reviews. Its like being a drop in an ocean.
The story is progressing nicly, and everyone is in character. Personally, I perfer Tenten with Lee istead of Neji, but that is neither important to the story or my place to decide. Although, seeing how Naruto is friends with Lee, and was dissed by Sakura, maybe he can tell Lee to abandon his 'youthful love'.
Speaking of pairings, I have an idea regarding Haku being alive and in the Villiage. Seeing how Haku is a pateint, gentle, and caring person while still being a fantastic ninja with a strong bloodline, he and Hanabi should meet. If Naruto is the person to change Neji and show him how fate is not one's master, prehaps Haku would be able to do the same for Hanabi. And if Hinata's love interest is outside the clan, maybe the two sisters are more alike then they think.
Another, darker idea, is that Haku meets Orchimaru and makes a deal with him to bring back Zabuza. He would definatly be a potential body, although, deep down, a little to pure in his intentions, or a bodyguard like the Sound Five.
Continue the good work.
| Jonakhensu chapter 1 . 2/23/2007
Kurenai was ready to snap after just two hours, yet Naruto lasted YEARS without even HURTING anyone. That has to say something about him.
| Draco Tourn chapter 1 . 2/21/2007
good story thus far keep up the good work.
| Dahlia Franks chapter 1 . 2/17/2007
Wow! this is a great first chapter! Hell, this is just great! I'm glad I rummaged through SOY's fav's and found you juswaiting there, ready for me to read.
I'm really excited to see where this is going to go, and how Naruto is going to act. (I completly agree that Naruto's personailty seems to be a cause of the horrible treatment done to him) So i'm excited to see how your Naruto will turn out.
Keep up the amazing work! I'm going to five into the next chapters now.
| Destiny'sPromise chapter 1 . 2/6/2007
FINALLY! Someone who knows how to puncuate and spell the English language correctly and uses correct grammer. And on top of that, you are a creative genius! I usually am a little hesitant to read AU fictions because they never catch my interest. However, once I began to read this one, I was hooked. At first I was a little skeptical about your characterization of a more serious Naruto, but after I thought about it, I realized that had he had a sensei such as Kurenai, he may very well have turned out that way. So thank you for putting together this highly creative work and I sincerely hope that you continue this endeavor. Good luck with the next update and I can't wait!
| Mad Merlin chapter 1 . 2/5/2007
This is simply one of the best stories on Not only do you have an interesting premise (which abound on this site,) but you, unlike many others, take the time and effort to actually develop the story propoerly. I am in the process of writing my first fanfiction and I can only hope it turns out half as good as this.
| Hakusho009 chapter 1 . 2/2/2007
Ack! This is completely awesomely, great, cool and other accolades! I've always been curious about what would happen if the teams were switched around and this makes it so believeable. Its almost like this was an alternate series they wrote. I also love that Kurenai is taking Naruto under her wing. Having a woman teacher will be good for him because she'll act like a mama bear protecting her young from the stupid people in the village. Hurray! Please make this a really long fic so I can enjoy it forever? Please? ;_;
| RasenganFin chapter 1 . 1/25/2007
Only a genius could write this good and would have THAT name
This is RasenganFin if you check out my profile you'll
know why i called you a genius. _lol
| courageouscoward chapter 1 . 1/24/2007
nice...never really paid attention to kurenai before but she seems cool by the way you characterize her and stuff. good job. yay. \m/
| Yersi Fanel chapter 1 . 1/20/2007
I just happen to find your story, you see, Hinata is my favorite character along with Neji and Naruto (because Naruto is cute, can't say otherwise) and I think your story is very interesting and I'll read it!
| Shadow Rave chapter 1 . 1/15/2007
Officially my favorite story on this site. Extremely well written. Your portrayal of Naruto and Kurenai is one of the best I've seen.
This story is a gift in my opinion. You have incredible talent, and I am glad to have witnessed it.
| Deres chapter 1 . 1/10/2007
very good job on this story. i thought it might be like the other one i read like it but u picked the other jonin for him and i must say it is a very interesting turn around so i hope you keep the chaps coming!
| Jess Anime chapter 1 . 1/1/2007
This story is so cool. I agree with you too. All Naruto needed was a person who would really look at him and train him. This sounds very promising.
| sympatheticassassin chapter 1 . 1/1/2007
I know I already reviewed the latest chapter, but I got bored and decided to read it again. I thought of something. It's OK if it is irrelevant by now.
If I'm remembering right when Naruto first met Gaara, Konohamaru was being threatened by Gaara's brother. If that happens in this story it would be interesting to see the change in reaction with what just happened to Konohamaru. Threats to him would be very dangerous right now. Naruto is a lot better prepared to protect him now too. I don't understand how Gaara's brother (I cant remember the name right now) got away with threatening the Hokage's grandson in Konoha in the original. It seems like that would be unacceptable behavior for a guest shinobi. Don't they have people watching them or something?
Anyway, keep up the good work. I can't wait to read more.
| Rurouni Tyriel chapter 1 . 12/28/2006
I'm not even halfway through the first chapter, and already I love this story to death. I can't believe I've let a gem like this slip past me before.
I love this team that's been assembled. Shino, Naruto and Hinata are my top three characters in the show, to see them together is lovable beyond words. I look forward to seeing what comes next and how the Naruto-verse unfolds in this compelling (and, thank god, well-written) AU.
| Graypdrink chapter 1 . 12/28/2006
I love this story and its only the first chapter :D i hope Naruto and Hinata start too get closer soon!
I never liked susake and i still dont, Kakasi (SP) is ok but i always hated how he seemed too care more about Susake more which really made me mad. Sakaur is ok i think though i wish she wasnt so mean to naruto or liked susake.
Anyway i love the start of this story nd i cant wait till i read the next chapter keep up your amazing work and ill keep reading it!
| sealdfox chapter 1 . 12/24/2006
Great I realy like this story so far.
| Mr.YeaH chapter 1 . 12/23/2006
your stories cool try to make naruto jounin level before the chuunin exams
| RI100014 chapter 1 . 12/22/2006
I like your story and because I don't have to facade or fear facing ridicule, I'll state full out: I cried. Because I know the lonliness that Naruto shares. He works against it differently than I do, Shino would be a better comparision for my outward appearance. But I know the pain of being alone. I also am quite interested for these reasons in psychology and as a child possessed a yearning to understand the world around me and...truthfully...why I never seemed to fit in it. Keep up the good work. I've always found myself fond of these tales, that aren't necessarily looking for outright pity but do realize these character's struggles. It just feels more filling, I suppose.
Till next time...adios.
| Mikazuchi chapter 1 . 12/17/2006
Hello S'TarKan, Mikazuchi here. I had heard a lot about your story (and I was seriously shocked when I saw the number of reviews) but now I finally got into reading it.
I've enjoyed reading this first chapter. This is solid, good quality writing, and the characters all seem in-character so far (I know some people are nitpicky about OOC, but I'm usually not... different circumstances can bring out different responses in individuals, but you already know that, don't you). I can't really see any way to criticize.
That was actually a good idea on Kurenai's part to have the team less specialized. Throwing Naruto into the mix would definitely make them more well rounded, and give them the ability to escape... but I have a gut feeling that 'escape' isn't always gonna be the option. Whenever that situation arises, I hope Naruto'll be ready to show everyone what he's made of!
I'm looking forward to reading more of your story, to watch Naruto's growth in a totally different Team, challenges and struggles he may face, and the fostering friendship between him and Hinata.
It's been a pleasure, and looking forward to reading more~
| Jonohex chapter 1 . 12/16/2006
Damn! Really impressive, sorry I'm a year late. Well researched and way more thoughtful than even the original. Great work!
| CelestialLunarWolf chapter 1 . 12/15/2006
This story is so awesome! It seems so realistic, but at the same time different from the original storyline. This is great. Write the next chapter soon!
| Zenze chapter 1 . 12/12/2006
I only just finished the first chapter but I'm already getting teary-eyed. It's really strange, since there really wasn't anything sad about the first chapter, but reading Kurenai's thoughts and all the things Naruto went through really makes my heart ache. The poor kid. I can't even begin to imagine what it's like to be shunned by everyone for something that wasn't even within your control. You're a terrific writer. I think you really caught Naruto's character very well. I've never payed much attention to Kurenai, but I'm starting to like her a lot too. )
| Marz1 chapter 1 . 12/10/2006
I like how Hinata says "That is very foolish of them since he will be Hokage some day." That is one of the best lines ever, with alot of indepth set-up. I read up to chapter ten of this story, because its very addictive, so now i'm back to review. Also it's nice to see people putting effort into modifying Naruto's behaviour. Kakashi is cool, but he doesn't seem like a very good teacher. update soon!
| Tigers Like Red Blood chapter 1 . 12/10/2006
this is a great story! what are the stats for it?
| Riiiceballe chapter 1 . 12/9/2006
~Meow~ Nice chapter! It's great. Hope the chapters ahead will be just as good or even better
| kobisaki chapter 1 . 12/9/2006
| Visceral Epiphany chapter 1 . 12/9/2006
lol i wouldnt like to be the hokage wen kurenai is through with him...good he has someone like kurenai on HIS side...i wonder wot he is gonna be wearing...is the pairing hinata and naruto or kurenai and naruto or is kurenai gonna be sort of like a guardian..?
| DarkSideOfBlue chapter 1 . 12/7/2006
Addendum to my review for chapter 10: this webside stupidly shortened three hundred and thirty-three (the numer) into just 3 when I was speaking of how many chapter they were into the manga. Sorry if that caused confusion. This website gets stupid when uploading reviews and chapters when it THINKS you're just trying to put in a space filler. bah. makes me frustrated.
| William chapter 1 . 12/3/2006
Wow, I gotta say, I've read a lot of NaruHina stories and this is by far one of the best. I actually thought it was written by the author himself. If I had to mention one criticism it would be that the story moves a little slowly sometimes, but I also like the amount of detail you put into it. Please keep writing.
| D.J chapter 1 . 11/30/2006
Whew man, what a great story so far. This is one of the few 'what if Naruto was on a different team' I've ever read, and this one is by far the best. I like how you've made Naruto better, but still realistic.
I also like your explanation of why Naruto had so much trouble with making normal clones.
Thanks for writing, and I eagerly look forward to more.
| Irsool chapter 1 . 11/28/2006
heya, just started reading this story
got very interested
well, im off to read more, cya~!
| Jho chapter 1 . 11/20/2006
i like this concept :]
| stagflower13 chapter 1 . 11/14/2006
Love your other story! Now I love this one too!
| Noctourne chapter 1 . 11/12/2006
To be honest, I haven't read this story. But my brother swears by it, and insists I should take up Naruto obsession JUST so I can read your fanfic. Which is pretty amazing, because said brother is a critic of doom for most writers.
So keep up the good work.
(Woohoo! I didn't even tell you to update soon. I know how irritating it can get when people demand content, and sometimes forget that, you know, you're over 30, and have a life, and a job, and friends, but that's okay! Just as long as you update, right?)
| Antiguo chapter 1 . 11/8/2006
I hope you write more of this excelent fic
| Ryfee chapter 1 . 11/6/2006
first chapter and i've already fallen in love with this. with that one change, everything will also change in the future, you're right. & i simply can't wait to read the rest.
this is an awesome naruhina fict, & i should have read this earlier, screw my laziness. )x
oh, i really loved the part about naruto protecting the villagers by having kyuubi sealed within him. twas just touchy & somehow, inspired me. :D
& kurenai so kicks ass. n_n;
i'm not rly fond of her, coz she doesn't do a lot in the manga or anime... she rarely appears, tho. o_o
but i must admit that you potrayed her really well here, and you made me like her even more :D
beside, she really kicks ass with her genjutsus. only that kakashi kicks ass & rox more. n_n;
i really loved this. great job (:
| bullseye chapter 1 . 11/3/2006
i just got into the first chapter and i can already tell i like but if you screw up ill hunt you down... no just joken no pressure
| Xeno-Freak chapter 1 . 10/12/2006
I have read up to chap nine on this… and I have to say. I am deeply, deeply impressed. This has to be one of the finest Naruto AU’s I have ever had the joy of reading. The detail and subplots are believable and intriguing. The attention to detail inspiring (the little explanations and side histories of said details only drawing readers in further I might add). I know I am new to the writing game, but I humbly offer whatever services I can in the making of this excellent peace of literary artwork. (Although requesting my skills as a beta is ill advised, my own fics are constantly being hounded on for my pore skills in the typed word) The single complaint I could ever bestow on this fic is that Shino seems a tiny bit out of character… then again that is largely because the bug users character is barely explored, and as such is sorely a matter of opinion. I will not request you to speed up your time table as your other fanfics’ deserve equal praise and you of corse have a life outside of the computer.
Once more thank you for your submitting of this peace of fanfiction, I believe I speak many aside from myself when I say that it’s one of the better Naruto fics out there. I know I will not be the only one with it in my favorites file.
Until next time, Xeno-Freak.
| Kt3 chapter 1 . 10/11/2006
Not an original idea, but certainly an underused one. Of course, probably the reason it's underused is because of a lot of the thought having to go into how subtle changes in the past affect the future. You did a very good job at that, and it's very well thought out.
Your prose is also surprisingly strong, and brought a smile to my face simply by clever turns of phrases. Keep up the good work. Please. :]
| battousai222 chapter 1 . 10/9/2006
Yo I love this chapter alot. I can already tell you that I will read this story till it is over with. Heres my scedule. sleep from 12:30-6:00a.m. School 7:00-2:30p.m. Can read if don't have a life that day till 2:40-8:00p.m. then random areas between 8:00-12:30. So that is when I can read during the week days the week ends are free game though. I love this story. I'm glad to see the new teams and glad that every one is so strong. Hope fully naruto grows to become truelly strong. And learn all of his father's AH HUM COUGH YODAIMIE COUGH oh sorry about that. Any way learn the fouth hokages tequniques to. Love your story and will read untill you are finished! Keep up the great work!
| Noobelinoob chapter 1 . 10/9/2006
I reviewd before...just going to add to fav.
And im going to say it again , awsome story...take your time , write when you can , cus you can't hurry perfection.
| kagehisa chapter 1 . 10/8/2006
Great chapter, dude. Your vocab skills are definetly top notch. Don't take too long to update. It's too good to keep from progressing.
| faetlrae chapter 1 . 10/2/2006
I am absolutely captivated by the start of this fan fiction! I am excited about getting to read more, but I see I have quite a few chapters to go before I catch up.
I am eagerly reading!
| Altrict chapter 1 . 9/26/2006
Heh, I would put in a massive amount of writing and constructive criticisum but I'm really in a rush right now! Homework and all that... Well all I'm going to say is that you're hitting everything right on! Way to go! Keep on going all the way.
PS: I'll probably properly review your's and every one elses story when I have enough time. Everyone likes reviews! Even the massively popular people! Am I right?
| Dan Ingram chapter 1 . 9/22/2006
Dunno how I stumbled across this fic, but I'm glad I did. The running subplots, a mentor that actually takes an active part in Naruto's life, all combine to make this a great story.
That said, I'm not really seeing anything OOC in regards to Naruto. It's been shown plenty of times that if someone points him in the right direction, Naruto will bust his ass to make it to the end goal. He's impulsive and doesn't think things through yeah, but he's not completely stupid.
As long as you're writing this I'll be reading. Any chance we could see some of the other teams though? I'd like to see the interaction.
| John Doe chapter 1 . 9/20/2006
Like what the hell if it takes a fuckng month to write a fucking chapter what is the fucking point of you countining to write this story. So if you keep doing this without even an update stop immediatly please!
| Bad Habits chapter 1 . 9/18/2006
Reading through it for the third or fourth time at least and I caught something I'd missed on previous read throughs. When you're going over team assignments Hinata thinks "This was rapidly becoming one of the happiest days of her life, definitely the happiest since her mother died." Not necessarily a mistake, but it does seem to imply that the day her mother died was a happy day.
| CheliGirl chapter 1 . 9/16/2006
| sasnejgaashikshi chapter 1 . 9/13/2006
That was by far the most awesome story I have ever read about Naruto! But what makes it even more fantastic and I hope you don't think I am silly but, is that it was the first story I have ever read without it being a crossover with Inuyasha! I can't wait till you update!
| She is the Bird of Hermes chapter 1 . 9/8/2006
Woa those villagers are jerks!
| SlayerIssac chapter 1 . 9/7/2006
Normally, when I read a story already started, I don't review the first chapter, but this just can't wait.
Even before this, I saw you as one of the best writers I've ever had the privaledge to read, but this one passing sentence was enough for you to activate super-god-mode-writer-genius! "The copy-cat ninja was feared throughout the ninja world, but he was also squirrelly as hell with his chronic tardiness and perverted reading material." "squirrelly"... The most amusingly accuate adjective I've ever heard used for Kakashi. YOU ARE A GENIUS, MAN!
Ok, back to reading. Sorry for lack of critisism. You're just too good.
| Willie Taing chapter 1 . 9/2/2006
Dude this is fuckin awesome! I'd totally buy it if it was made into a real book. You should totally write to the author of Naruto. This is so fuckin awesome!
| Duff-Duff chapter 1 . 9/2/2006
I LIKE IT.
| KrazyKorean530 chapter 1 . 9/1/2006
I've reveiewed your story before but never mentioned that the thing that I like most about your writing is the way you handle a characters emotions. Their reactions are completely beleivable and in characters even in the most extreme situations. In further installments I hope to see the same level of emotional depth that you've shown us so far.
I simply cannot run out of great things to say about your story! My only problem (and it's not so much of a problem as your story is extremely well written) is that I happen to find your story very unique, and I couldn't help but notice the apparent direction that the pairings are taking. Now don't get me wrong I've nothing against Naru/Hina my self but that pairing is just so bland and overused, and I just think that it's squandering your talent to NOT be describing in explicit detail the spectrum of emotions that Hinata goes through after Naruto leaves her heartbroken. (Or at least have Naruto have SOMETHING with another girl even if the end pairing is Naru/Hina).
Overall though my opinion of this story hasn't changed in the least and I look forward to reading the next chapter.
| Heosic-chan chapter 1 . 8/29/2006
This story is so awesome, and i'm only on the first chapter! XD
Luv Hinata, kurenai, and Naruto, i can't wait to read more! XD
| Blues59 chapter 1 . 8/28/2006
After reading the first chapter. You've got my attention. Nice work
| Mireekian chapter 1 . 8/25/2006
This is an absolutely AMAZING fanfic. I'm speechless. The only thing I can manage to do right now is add it to my favs list. Wow.
| Bloodreaver Alpha chapter 1 . 8/19/2006
Well done, well done!
Intelligent writing, subtle foreshadowing, infinite plausability...your talents truly make reading a pleasure. I am honored to read this story, and I find myself inspired. It is so rare to find authors who think and write three-dimensionally, and you are a gem of exceptional brilliance and clarity. I take my hat off to you, sir!
| Commander L chapter 1 . 8/17/2006
For a long while, I've always considered Two Halves to be the best Naruto fic around (well at least in the NaruHina category). With that said, I considered this story to be equal if not greater to DameWren's masterpiece and I hope that you continue it and find ultimate success. You have handled your chracters bueatifully; progessed them and changed them in an amazing fashion that was believable and pleasantly gradual.
Your hard work has not gone unnoticed and is praised by many as you have undoubtedly realise. I hope this motivates you to keep on writing and that you won't stop until you finish this story.
Speaking of which, although their is an unlimitless possibilty of where this fic can go, I hope you do have an ultimate conclusion planned for it. I have always believed that to write a successful story in such a spontaneuos way, the minimum requirement one needs to meet is to have an ending planned relatively early on in the writing process. All I'm saying is that you can't write forever, and readers like closure (but only if everyting in the plot is delt with first). So if you havn't already, decide upon an ending, no matter how distant in the future it may be, so you have something to work toward.
And so you can start other awesome NaruHina fics in the future :)
PS: Story added to favorites and alerted. You now have another faithful reader :D
| Ikasury chapter 1 . 8/17/2006
. i liked kurenai before but now i love her, she's badass! and she cares about her 'kids'/students, i like her hateing the hyuugas and being somewhat motherly to hinata... this is awsome, i wonder if shino will come out of his shell some more, ah well, on to the next chappie after i sleep... sayonara! (i also read half the night before i sleep . lol)
| Leo Gryff chapter 1 . 8/17/2006
I've been watching the anime for a while and decided to check out how good the fanfiction is and 'lo and behold I find the standard for the general Naruto fic higher then the usual Potter stuff I've read.
Your fic is probs around the fourth I've earnestly started reading today, but I can immediately tell the quality of writing is another step up. Yuuhi Kurenaiu such a blank page as you say in the anime has begun to hold my imagination through your writing.
Looking forward to reading on.
| clicke chapter 1 . 8/17/2006
On this site, there are three kinds of writers. Beginners; they'll make obvious mistakes but'll correct them over a certain amount of time. Mediocres; average writers with enough experience to maintain a plotline, but not enough to keep it alive. And finally, Professionals (they deserve a capital 'P'); Very good at writing. Extremely good at writing. Bordering on the very edge of godliness.
However, after careful evaluation of your skills it seems that I have discovered a new category. It is called 'omgwtfbbqhaxxor'. Your pieces of literature are above the achievements of even a long time writer. If you worked in Bed Bath and Beyond, you would be placed in the Beyond section. So I have come to the conclusion that the only reason you write so well is because you hack the world and bend it's laws in unthinkable ways. Good job.
Just don't stop hacking, I'd hate to see another beautiful masterpiece ruined by dust and time.
P.S. Will the story 'Team 8' have any pairings?
| Kid Dynomite chapter 1 . 8/15/2006
I'd like to take the time to say thank you. I know how hard it is to write a work of any length (my thesis topped out at 65 pages...heh), so I can appreceate the time and effort it takes to write something on top of a regular job.
Your story and characters just seem to meld right in with the manga and anime characterizations, making this is one of the best Alternate Universes I've ever read, in any genre.
Congratulations, you're the first author to get me to review in quite some time. I look foward to more of your work, and if you keep up this level of quality and plot exposition, you'll definatly see my handle again.
Good job man, keep on writing.
| StarGazingNights chapter 1 . 8/14/2006
Wow...I didn't actually get to read your whole story but it was soo good! Sorry...I review random people when I read the summeries. haha. Anyways...The summery made me want to just click the link to your story so bad! and wow! You started this on new years day? Well, I wouldnt blame you. It's hard to update often sometimes. Not only that but it does take awhile to write long stories. I tried to keep my chapters short because after I while I get a bit tired, and I don't have the time to write my story until around 9.
| Trasaric Comnenus chapter 1 . 8/14/2006
I really admire this fanfic. IIRC, you mentioned having studied psychology and it really aids your writing, I feel. You show a real skill for significant but believeable changes in characterization. I feel so sorry for Hinata, having such an awful father. People who obsess over bloodlines and family history obviously have little in their own favor, or they feel the need to prove themselves. I know that Hinata's difficulties reflect badly on Hiashi as a member of the Hyuga clan, and how he makes things worse for Hinata by extension. I can see how she'd sympathize with Naruto, seeing as how they're both kinda hated for things they couldn't control. Though I despise Hiashi, I'd like you to develop him a bit more. Try to get people to understand why he'd be so cruel to Hinata, even if they'd never do the same. You don't have to make him a sympathetic character, but with everyone else so well developed, it would be a shame if you left Hiashi as the Lifetime Network Abusive Father stock character.
Your portrayal of Yuuhi Kurenai is a very interesting one. She must have made an impression while you were watching. Is it just me, or are you using her as a vehicle for your own observations about the Narutoverse? I don't know if we ever get into her head, in canon, but I hope it's left vague enough for you to be able to use. She seems to be as much of a learner as her genin in some ways. While she possesses a keen understanding of her students, at least for Naruto and Hinata, she's not so all seeing that she predicts everyone's motives for every action.
Sasuke is a jerk. What do all those girls see in that dark haired handsome, mysterious, talented, hurt loner who's obviously in need of a beautiful girl's warm love to melt his icy heart and kiss away his pain?
Well, Okay that one was kinda obvious, but he is a real snob. Unfortunately, I doubt he will really make changes for the better anytime soon. Sakura's too busy crushing on him, and who knows what reactions that Kiba will exhibit. Naruto in the series is a bit thick headed, but his heart's in the right place, and seeing the academy's resident bumbler come into his own so soon would really influence Sasuke. He may be stuck up, but he isn't stupid.
I don't know your plans for this, but PLEASE, if you haven't already decided, keep Haku alive. He was developed so well and then died. He really could have been used more in the series. Without Naruto going all Kyuubi-fied on him, he'd have taken far less damage, and would have been in better shape to survive. Maybe have the fight drag out, with Gato's army of thugs ending it prematurely, then
The humorous bits are nice too. They don't dominate the chapter, but they do make the scenes seem a bit more real. And they never take a long time to set up. Brevity is the soul of wit, after all. Even a good joke can turn foul if it takes too long to set up.
My favorite part in chapter 7 was the interaction between Aburame Shino and his parents. You've established their calm, analytical nature without it being their sole defining trait. They're a loving enough family, if in an unconventional fashion. But it's not like people can't convey love without hugging and soppy, saturday morning cartoonish pet names.
This does much to develop a character that would be all to easy to portray as an emotionless drone.
As far as the Nihongo Kempetai are concerned, don't worry about them. The only advice I'll give for the inclusion of Japanese is that once you decide on a certain rendering of words or phrases, you remain consistent. And please,
I understand this story is secondary for you, but I really, really want to read more. I hope this review will do my part to keep your mental gears turning.
| rebelyell11339 chapter 1 . 8/12/2006
| Schwarzd354 chapter 1 . 8/6/2006
I have to say that this is easily the best Naruto fic I have ever read. I come from a rather f*ed up family background myself, and there were several times in your story that I found myself crying. For both Naruto and Hinata.
For Naruto, I can sympathize with the feelings of neglect and the desire for attention. Even in the series he had to fight for the attention he desired. There are precious few characters who actually acknowledge him. And most of those characters either can't do so openly (Hinata and the third Hokage), don't have time do give him the amount of acknowledgement he needs (Tsunade, Jiraiya and Iruka), or give him the attention in a halfa**ed way (Kakashi).
I fully understand and support Naruto's out of character behavior. Kurenai's treatment of him is exactly what he has needed for a very long time. Not only is he recieving support from his teacher and teammates, but from outside of his team as well. In the series, his first friendships with Sasuke and Sakura were tentative at best. And to get most of the other characters to see him for who he is, he had to beat them up. Not the best way to make friends in my opinion. It worked fine for the series, but not for real life.
For Hinata, I've seen two different versions of her father in fanfiction. One is the version you have, a cold bastard who treats her so horribly it borders on criminal. The other being a man who, while being quiet and reserved, supports her. The canon version is more in line with the second choice, at least, it is after the Chunin exam. I don't begrude your characterization of him though, I applaud it. You are doing an excellent job showing a very abusive relationship, it is a very difficult thing to put in writing.
I'm also pleased to see Naruto recieving some real training. Even in the actual series, Kurenai seemed to be the only person who trained her entire team. Azuma is only shown training Shikamaru in preparation for the exam, Gai focused primarily on Lee, and Kakashi only showed the kids something when it was absolutly necessary. And even then he wouldn't stay and help. (Yes he was injured in the water country story arc, but even so...). It's good to see a version of Gai that isn't focused solely on Lee, and the training from both Gai and Kurenai is having a very positive impact on Naruto.
In all honesty, I could easily see this story happening instead of the actual canon. That is how believeable your representations of the characters are.
A few side notes on scenes that I particularly liked. One of which being when Shino walked up to see Hinata passed out on the bench. "She's really tired." "So I see." I couldn't help but laugh at Naruto trying to explain to Kurenai why Hinata was out cold.
I was starting to wonder how you'd bring the fox chakra into the story the way it was in the fight with Haku, very well done. I'm also curious as to what will happen to Kakashi, Sasuke, Sakura and Kiba since Naruto won't be there to break out of Haku's bloodline limit. Kinda worried actually, but I'm confident that you'll have reasons for whatever choices you make.
I look forward to the next chapter. This story has made it onto both my alerts list and my favorites list.
| Anerwyn chapter 1 . 8/5/2006
This is a good fanfic that I am thuroughly enjoying, please continue to write it as I have not seen another chapter in a while. Also if you could get a picture of naruto in his new outfit that would be awesome.
I wait for the next chapter of "team 8" with baited breath.
| PJ chapter 1 . 7/31/2006
| KatanaKage chapter 1 . 7/28/2006
I really like it when fanfic authors make the teachers stand up for Naruto... I wish Kishimoto would have done so in the Manga and/or Anime... Keep up the good work
| Amael the Chosen chapter 1 . 7/27/2006
short of one or two small, barely noticeable spelling errors that happen to the best of us, this fanfic is one of the best I have ever read, up on par with work by Strike Fiss.
You have taken an interesting approach to the fanfic, and still have managed to get it to mesh very well with the timeline suggested in the anime, which I find very impressive.
The only thing I can suggest for you to improve on, is maybe to type faster, and even then this is only because I would love to see an update sooner so I can read further.
Thankyou for returning faith in amateur writer's talents to someone who had lost it, after the thirtieth fic I read that used "u" instead of the full word...
| Regrem Erutaerc chapter 1 . 7/27/2006
Just reallized a few things.
For one thing, I agree with many reviewers. You seriously undermined Naruto's reaction to killin' two people, but maybe it'll just take a bit to settle in for him to reallize exactly what he did.
But, maybe this instance will also get him to reallize that he can harness the Kyubi's powers.
For another thing, well, like I said, I'm eager to see how Shino and Hinata react to what just happened. Both with how Hinata reacts to the praise from her teammates, and with how Shino is handling the two colonies(speaking of, are the colonies of those species different bug types?).
For another thing, I do know that Shino and Hinata were unable to see what happened... but the remaining 40% of Shino's bug colony were not, and they could and likely did see what happened. They of course don't know the exact details of what happened, since they couldn't see Naruto too well from that distance, but they could see how much power and how ruthless he became, as well as smelling something very, very wrong coming from him, along with the fact that his voice that they heard seemed to be beastly, and almost like two voices were speaking as one. As such, they can't tell exactly what happened, but what they'd be able to inform Shino and his new colony of is sure to cause some possible conflict or greater curiosity within Shino at least. Though, the fact that it happened after the two of them were hurt so bad and it happening due to him wanting to protect them would be a plus in Naruto's favor even for his bugs.
Anyways, what you've given us is sure to cause much interesting scenarios in the next chapter.:D
| The Apple's Pie chapter 1 . 7/27/2006
Ma... I wanted to go back and re-read the fic... and review the chapters. ;
I loved the fact that Kurenai was the only one to scout out the gennins to be. I wouldnt be serprised if she did that in the anime too.
I was so happy when she offered to help him buy clothes. No. More. JUMPSUIT! WOOT!
Ma... Shino-kun... ~~
| KCKitsune chapter 1 . 7/27/2006
Kelenas, I think I can answer this: Naruto thinks that these... people killed one of his precious people. He snapped and that's it. I'm figuring that he will think back about this and THEN the guilt will come to him.
| baldragnarok16 chapter 1 . 7/26/2006
I always look forward to your new chapters; and for damn good reasons. You provide believable plots, characters that seem to be actual people (the way all characters should be, but so few are actually able to produce them that way, me not included), detailed environments, and interesting subplots and story twists. I especially like the Hyuuga heiress and history of Kurenai subplots; they are relevant to the main plot and are integrated well. The only real critism I can give is that you update slowly, but it is worth it to recieve a large chapter such as the ones you are so well known for. I can't wait until the next chapter to experience this again. This is defintely the quality of work that I could only dream of for my writing.
| Blank402 chapter 1 . 7/25/2006
Great so far, I'm looking forward to what you've got for the future.
| i-x3-shikamaru chapter 1 . 7/23/2006
a hell lot of reviews.
im gunna read this one now
| krazykorean530 chapter 1 . 7/22/2006
I immensly enjoyed reading your story. Not only do you have an amazing grasp on EVERYONES characters, but there are next to no grammatical or spelling errors. Your story flows nicely and you pay a lot of attention to detail, but not so much that it gets boring. You describe just enough to keep me captivated while progressing with the story. In fact your writing is so exquisite that I decided to read some of your Harry Potter fanfiction. And while I love the Harry Potter series I was never very interested in the fanfiction. I still however have no interest in it whatsoever but thats not to say that I wasn't thoroughly impressed with "Nightmares of futures past" and was astounded when I realized that I enjoyed your fanfiction more than the Harry Potter books. But to get back to the Naruto review the way you portray Naruto as he evolves under the caring tutelage of Yuuhi Kurenai is both beleivable and a welcome change from Naruto suddenly gaining power from the kyuubi. My only gripe with the your story and this isn't really much of a problem yet because im sure that this will be a fic of epic proportins, but your story is majorly lacking in major conflicts but I'm sure that this will change once the Chuunin exams begin, and am interested in seeing how the "new" Naruto interacts with the sand siblings before the exams. Anyways this is overall a great read and I encourage you to continue both this and "Nightmares of futures past" and I want you to know that I in no way will be surprised if one day you are an author, so keep up the good work
and I'll be reading.
| Plus-44 chapter 1 . 7/16/2006
good keep up the good work!
| All's End chapter 1 . 7/15/2006
This is the best story I have ever read. It is just so perfectly AU and you've, introduced us to an entirely new world, but it all makes so much sense.
| Rory chapter 1 . 7/15/2006
I Love this story alrdy. Great POV for the chacarters. They dont show how Hinata's dad opinion about naruto at all in the Canon but this might how he felt and that flashback during the fight with Neji makes me believe this was how Hinata was treated. ill review for the other chapters now
| Kuryousity chapter 1 . 7/8/2006
Holly Heaven you have over 10 reviews with only SIX chapters! unbelievable! oh, and I like the start! :P
| cmartist chapter 1 . 7/6/2006
Definitely one of the best Naruto fics I have read in a long time. Can't wait for the next chapter :)
| sekan chapter 1 . 7/3/2006
this is very good!
one problem though, your chapters are to long.
| Hisshou chapter 1 . 6/30/2006
Haha. This is awesome. I can't wait to see where it goes from here. You are an excellent writer.
| WEEEEE chapter 1 . 6/27/2006
HOLY CRAP THAT WAS A LONG FIRST CHAP
| Ayje chapter 1 . 6/26/2006
Just finished first chapter, nice n long :D
so far im likeing ur take on the 'new team' storyline, kudos to you :)
| angelforshow chapter 1 . 6/25/2006
Oh, this is an interesting plot - I really wanna read more now!
Good job so far. I always thought Kurenai should've gotten more scenes in the anime.
| Diosmary01 I chapter 1 . 6/20/2006
I love this story. cant wait till i read the other chapters
| koswarg chapter 1 . 6/18/2006
Hi. This fanfiction came on very high recommendation from a few people I know. I've only read the first chapter, but I already adore it. I laughed, I "awwed," I snickered. This is officially my favorite NaruHina fic. So, yes, I really don't have anything productive to say, other than "good job!"
| A Closed Account chapter 1 . 6/15/2006
0.0 !*thumbs up!* Finaly found something to keep my sharingans on yay!1
*cough* Professional opinion:...!...!...*speachlessness*
| Evilevergreen chapter 1 . 6/15/2006
Reviewer 1271? Wow, I didn't even notice that until a moment ago, but I can see why the number is so high. I've only just read the first chapter and I can't wait for more.
You have quite the beginning here and I look foward to seeing how Naruto changes along with Hinata and Shino.
“If he was able to break into the Hokage’s office and make off with a heavily guarded scroll… it makes me wonder how hard that test is,” Asuma grumbled sourly. He’d been forbidden to smoke inside and Kurenai was sure he was suffering from lack of nicotine.
| ragnaros chapter 1 . 6/12/2006
the teames in the real show are based opon skill like team 7's. but hinatas score was barely better than narutos and shino score wasnt good enough to soupport the both. this seems like some lame story to get naruto and hinata on te same team.
| John chapter 1 . 6/8/2006
Wonderful, excellent, magnificient. I like this story alot. Keep going please and continue the story. Your a genious.
| KyLewin chapter 1 . 6/6/2006
An interesting story you've got here. I seem to recall reading Naruto on a different team stories before, but not one that starts as well as this one does.
I particularly liked the "ever since that incident..." and "ever since that tragedy..." parts you put in, it reminds me of the manga (and just like the manga, you don't seem to be in much of a hurry to explain). So, props to you for that.
Your scenes and thoughts are all well laid out and Kurenai is already an interesting character (given how little we know about her from canon). Giving her a troubled past adds a bit to her character and makes her more interesting than she's been so far in the series. You've also given her a kind heart (deductible from canon, I think) which works well. I'm not so sure about her immediate protectiveness over Naruto, though. While she might not hold any sort of grudge against him for the Kyuubi's actions, she doesn't really have a huge reason for taking him under her wing right off the bat either. I mean, Kakashi was the Fourth's student, so he has some reason to look after Naruto, but Kurenai doesn't have anything like that... unless the 'that incident' will explain some of this. It's not like it's a big deal or anything, but it left me scratching my head a bit.
For the most part I really enjoyed this opening chapter. Your descriptions of the scenes are well done and your insight into several characters (particularly Hinata) seems right on. I found your characterization of Shino(I've only just started watching the anime and haven't reached the filler arc yet, so he's a bit of an unknown to me), especially his rather detached 'Vulcan-esc' way of looking at things.
My one real hang up on this so far comes mostly from your portrayal of Naruto towards the end. I won't delude myself into thinking that he isn't going to be OOC since he's on a new team and all, but he seems to be hurrying in that direction more quickly than seems logical. Even with a listening ear - something he really hasn't had much of yet in his life - he isn't going to change his reason for becoming a Hokage. His reason for becoming Hokage was (and, so far as I know, still is) to force the people of the village to acknowledge him. When he answers Kurenai's question about whether or not he wants to protect all of the people who glared at him on their way to the restaurant with:
“I’m already doing that, aren’t I? The fourth Hokage picked me for some reason to hold back that bastard fox. I spend every day keeping it from destroying Konoha. If he picked me for that duty, I’d like to think he considered me worthy of that responsibility. I just want everyone else to see me that way as well, so his choice would not be in vain.”
It just seems out of character and not with in the realm of something he'd say despite the changes to the time line. This answer is well thought out, insightful even, and not something Naruto is likely to say yet. I don't think (as many a fanfic author tends to) that Naruto is particularly stupid, but I also don't think that a twelve year old, loud-mouth, hyperactive kid, who pays little attention during class, is going to come up with something like this. In my view he might say something to the effect of:
"I don't care what they think, when I take the Hokage name and protect them as the strongest ninja ever, they'll have to recognize me and acknowledge me."
Naruto's two hang ups this early in the story line are #1 being acknowledged and #2 being the strongest (which is mostly a means of attaining #1 anyway). His answer to her question should really have reflected this.
Still, that one part (which probably bothered me a lot more than it should have, considering this is an AU) aside, this was a really good opening chapter and I'll definitely have to read the rest.
| Triberre chapter 1 . 6/4/2006
I'm not one for over-the-top reviews going into every little detail about the story, however I'll make an exception in this stories case ). As far as I can tell by your writing you're pretty skilled and have a certain knack for fitting your words in, which is a BIG thumbsup from me because I know how difficult it can be at times and how annoying I find it looking at some of my structuring and having that prattling voice in my mind going "ZOMG T3H L1N3 SUXXORZ!11!".
Interesting plotline, keeps me entertained, originality at its peak are chapters 4 and 5.
Oh and by the way, yours is one of few, -few- fanfictions I've actually gotten attached to the characters because they fit so well into they're original context. Also, Kurenai will never be looked at by me as simple eye-candy whenever I rewatch Naruto 3.
In conclusion, encore encore, bravo *throws sakura petals*, *blows kiss*. Please continue D.
| schiZochic chapter 1 . 6/3/2006
I love it. Your writing is so good. The story is well-written. Normally im too lazy to read such long stories. Astonishingly i found myself reading each and every word carefully. The plot didnt appeal to me that much but after reading a chapter. it got me hooked completely. By the number of reviews, apparently your story is one of the legends here in the Naruto section! God Bless! I hope to learn more from your style! Reading your story actually helped me improve even a little. Thanks so much for sharing your story.
| Akira Stridder chapter 1 . 6/3/2006
well I never watch Naruto dat much..but this is an awesome story to read!
| Hikari no Tenshi chapter 1 . 5/30/2006
A very beautiful begining to what looks like a great story. Love the Naruto Kurenai interaction.
| MydridFox09 chapter 1 . 5/30/2006
This is great, I've just read the first chapter and already sakura's a B, and Naruto is away from her evil clutches. I can't wait to read the rest. Are Hinata and naruto getting together
| PropellerGolem chapter 1 . 5/30/2006
There is something unexplainably badass about this. It's something that isn't new, but you've done it really well.
Kurenai is interfering just a bit much however. Tone down? Less meneacing speeches to shopkeepers etc. about how badly Naruto is treated? They get embarassing fast.
More drinking and partying. Vodka!
| Wicked102 chapter 1 . 5/29/2006
Thanks for writing this story. I know I've only read the first chapter, but I have to say I rather enjoyed it _. I hope the other chapters are just as good. I like how you have Naruto in character, but are slowly changing him. This is a better approach than just suddenly having him be really mature or different. Character development is always a good thing!
Once again, I want to point out how wonderfully written this chapter was. Keep up the good work _
| dreamlifter chapter 1 . 5/29/2006
unbelievable. this is the most interesting (and best wriiten) 'what if' Naruto story in all of i'm abosolutely loving it. you seemed to have rewritten the entire first few episodes scene for scene. i don't mind if naruto gets more personalized at all since it seems this is very well thought out. Great great job!
| Lunarian chapter 1 . 5/29/2006
I'm not sure if by this point you'd even respond or take much from a review starting off considering you have so many, but here it is.
I know of your HP story but never read it, I forget why. This has been the first Naruto story I have ever read, pure Naruto that is. I've read a few crossovers, most notably JeffreyOneShotWong's Just Won't Die.
I really like this story and its premises. Firstly you give us a few extra points of view to early scenes from the show, I especially like anything Hinata related since she is so nice to Naruto. I haven't seen too much of the show beyond whats shown each week on cartoon network, but if ever Hinata showed a reason she cares for Naruto I felt it was when she offered to let him cheat off her during the first test, really selfless... heh wonder how that might be different in what you'll write.
Giving Naruto an adult to really take charge and greatly look out for him like this is great. Kurenai is like an OC to me since Ive not seen any of her in the anime, but you write it so she fits flawlessly into the picture. So I like how she is planning on taking things Iruka tried and going several steps further.
Considering the anime really hasn't gone much into Shino and Hinata I look foward to seeing their interaction with Naruto.
I can't really offer any criticism, I rarely can in my reviews, as what I read is just too perfect to think of a change to improve.
| pRettY-iN-bLacK21 chapter 1 . 5/29/2006
| WalterDornez215 chapter 1 . 5/26/2006
"Naruto himself will start becoming more and more OOC as time passes. A lot of his personality seems to have been formed as a reaction to the less-than-benign neglect that has been the basis of his life. I always wondered what he would have been like with a solid mentor who was really looking out for him. (Yeah, Jiraiya did care for the boy later on, but the Toad-Sennin is irresponsibility incarnate.)" I agree totally and love fics like this, so great job so far.
| Masau chapter 1 . 5/19/2006
Wow. I would have started reading this as soon as you posted it, but I knew nothing at all about Naruto, so things would have been... strange for me. Fanfiction writers have a tendancy to write as though the reader already knows the canon, which is udnerstandable, though it leaves the rest of us in the dust. Anyway, let me finish what you have and I should have another review for you.
| waylander chapter 1 . 5/16/2006
come on update this already. I know you have that harry potter to write and all but it's almost been two months since the last update so hurry up and update, update, and update.
| Ty16 chapter 1 . 5/16/2006