Reviews for Unexpected
x x x XXXXX x x x x chapter 7 . 9/29/2002
Ah, and they are back together! I'm so happy! YAY! ::dances around the room:::

x x x XXXXX x x x x chapter 6 . 9/29/2002
Aw man! Vegeta you have bad timing! Damn you! This chapter is making the story much more complicated - I'm lovin' it!

x x x XXXXX x x x x chapter 5 . 9/29/2002
Ahhhhh. He finally and willingly kisses her! Blah! I'm on cloud 9!

x x x XXXXX x x x x chapter 4 . 9/29/2002
Man oh man! He called her a slut! Surely she realizes why though . . . right? Blah! lol, this chapter is killing me!

x x x XXXXX x x x x chapter 3 . 9/29/2002
Man your writing is SO DEEP! I WISH I COULD WRITE LIKE THIS! I love how well you explain why Vegeta is the way he is. I wish Bulma could have read his mind when he thought that she was only hald right and the fact that he didn't care about himself. Very very very VERY good writing!

x x x XXXXX x x x x chapter 2 . 9/29/2002
Well here is another review from me. I really believe in reviewing chapter by chapter so I can let the author know exactly how I feel. All I can say is that I really like what you are doing here. I mean, you let Vegeta be sensitive w/o being OOC. I dunno, when I write Vegeta I go OOC even when I try and try not to. This is really awesome and I will read on. You know that nightmare scene reminded me of the scene from X Men where Rogue walked in a Wolverine was tossing like crazy. You wrote that scene very VERY well and it was just like I could see pictures in my head. Well okay . . . this is a REALLY long review! Sorry!

x x x XXXXX x x x x chapter 1 . 9/29/2002
I totally love this point of view thing you are doing! It gives a whole new feel for V/B stories. I'm reading on! :-)

Bucky chapter 13 . 8/3/2002
You know, a buddy of mine referred this fic to me. Said it was her favorite B/V ‘get together’. When she said your name, I was all, ‘Oh yeah! It’s that one author who did a really awesome drawing of Sango and Miroku! So for the first time in months, I deliberately picked up a B/V ‘get together’ romance.

And WOW. Okay. First, I’ve got to trumpet about why I don’t like B/V romances (I’m a soap box queen. Make a lot of people nervous, I do.) And then I’ll expound on why yours was different, and why I loved it.

Why I’m not fond of the pairing, or the fics pertaining to them:

A) Never been too crazy about Vegeta OR Bulma. Their characters just never intrigued me much.

B) Strict B/V fics are either horribly OOC and loaded with clichés, OR, worse, they’re just an excuse to post for all these *underage* fangirls (not that the authors seem to care how old their readers are) a generous helping of cheap characterization, fleshed out sex scenes, and vulgarity.

The way I see it, a good author doesn’t have to depend on the crutch of scene-shockers like pornography and bad language to make their stories fly. Anyone can write a lemon fic, and probably get twice the reviews because so many kids are drawn to the cheap thrill of a taboo subject. But it doesn’t mean for a second that the author’s writing is good, or that the story has integrity. Does that make sense? If they have to rely on that to get reviews from a baser crowd, then there’s something to be said about their technique…or the lack thereof.

THAT said…

You, girl. Egads. You took a pairing I didn’t like, with a premise that most authors portray with ZERO taste, and wrote an absolutely BEAUTIFUL love story. The citrus teasers here and there were done with discernment, and you focused so much on the psychological chemistry between them that it validated their relationship 100% by the end.

Ok. Details. You wrote this in not only first person, but in PRESENT TENSE! NOBODY can pull off present tense, because it’s usually an accident! But I’m under the impression you did it deliberately, and it worked. I couldn’t believe it. I had to read chapters 1-6 all in one sitting.

And the switching of the POV’s totally worked. The insecurities you gave Vegeta RANG true…and that’s also another pitfall, I’d imagine. His whole inner struggle about being with her/not being with her was masterfully done. I even felt bad for him, and you did such a good job at eluding to his heinous past WITHOUT spelling it out (most people think they have to provide all the gory details because they assume the readers are stupid. We’re not stupid. We can read between the lines.) THUS, you showed, vs. told. WONDERFUL job doing that. Hell. I even felt bad for Vegeta, which is amazing because I generally find him unforgivably despicable. Par with Hitler. I snort when people try and portray him as a victim *rolls eyes*. As though that can somehow justify all the mayhem. But you did it! And did it so utterly well, that I bought into the notion, and really really liked the guy by the end! And you did it believably. I love that you touched on ‘how can anyone live with so much blood on their hands?’ SO well done. I’m glad you made him regret at some point his past deeds. Granted, it pitched him headlong into a big ass identity crisis (which you played out perfectly), but was SO necessary if he was going to be redeemed enough to be with Bulma.

Ok. Nuff of him. Let’s get to her. I really liked how you wrote her. The depth you gave her. You stripped her of the shallow nature that she’s notorious for, and made her so wounded. (thank you for not writing in every detail of every fight. Another great touch where you eluded to without fleshing out, focusing on the more significant aspects of their relationship). And I LOVE how you wrote Yamcha into this fic. YOU ROCK! It was so emotional, and so gripping. How could anyone not love him? You did such a great job at SHOWING how deep their friendship ran, without going into the whole “we’ve known each other for so long, blah blah blah”. And the transitions of falling in and out of love on both their parts was smooth, while supplementing the sexual tension in no small way *grin*. This fic was LOADED with tension. SUCH a great read.

Cool line – something about ‘why did you have to fall in love with me now when my heart is no longer mine to give?’

And I thought it was AWESOME that you had Vegeta help her through a miscarriage. That she was bleeding like crazy in a very undignified manner, and provided an excellent opportunity to make Vegeta do something really cool, while seeing her at her physical worst. HA! You even had him deliver the baby! That’s AWESOME! THAT right there added SO much to their relationship, because all the surface fluff was gone, and again, he saw her at her worst and didn’t hold it against her. It totally dignified his character for me. NICE NICE NICE touches, those. Great job.

And I dig how you wrote Trunks’ character, too. The depth you gave him, and the feistiness. Lots of good tension there, and when they finally reconciled it was so believable for the personalities you gave them.

Ah, there’s more. So much more… But I’m pressed for time. All in all, you paced their relationship perfectly, wrote it BELIEVABLY, portrayed their characters with taste, depth, and beauty… *sigh* I loved it. The whole thing *hugs the fic* Blew me away. You deserve every review you’ve gotten and ten times that for not resorting to the trashy techniques that most B/V authors rely on to rope people in.

(*blushes* Good thing this fic is finished, because I’d piss a LOT of people off if they read this review! Hell. YOU might even be irked if some of your fellow friends/authors fall into the above category, but I gotta give credit where it’s due. Your story kicked ass.)

Ok. I’m done. *grin* Ah. I feel I should mention one other B/V fic that blew me away. A one-shotter called ‘Fallen Angel’ by Stef-chan. Just had to toss it out there.

K. I’m out. Wonderful wonderful job. You just broke a stereotype.
sabriel chapter 13 . 7/31/2002
hey nice fanfic...i really like how you describe both of their emotions in a realistic makes it more exciting to read...i also loved the part when trunks asked vegeta why he left them...i think that can really had happened. I like the way you portrait yamcha...because most of the fics i read...he's a always a bad guy...and the fact they had a baby...i defintely loved the's a nice way to end they finally have closure with their relationship. I hope to read more of your fanfics.
247Lyricism chapter 13 . 5/11/2002
Wow. This story is absolutely amazing. I loved it. The best part about it was the psychology that went into it... I loved how you explained Vegeta. I loved how their relationship seemed so in character. I loved them. You are an incredible writer and this story is just wonderful. Keep it up!
Comet-Hime chapter 13 . 5/2/2002
That was a very sweet fanfic.
Majin Cosmo chapter 13 . 4/24/2002
Really beautiful. You have such a masterful command of language and words. I praise sango! The Queen of beautiful words! Go Sango! All hail Sango!
firestarsolo chapter 13 . 4/11/2002
That was an awesome ending! Great job!
me chapter 13 . 4/11/2002
i really loved your story. i would have reviewed after every chapter, but i would always have to get up in the middle, you know. anyways, other than that, i just wanted to say that i like your style of writing, especially the way you did the story through the point of view of the different characters. really good. and if you could write a sequel, that would be muy cool.
Xela chapter 13 . 4/7/2002
i really liked your story, alot. i was a little confused at times but, other than that i thought Vegeta was in perfect character, and there were a lot of twists, but it was a good story!
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