Reviews for Descent into Rapture
HopeoftheForgotten chapter 6 . 10/20/2007
Ne, this is incredibly entertaining, it's like Gilmore girls... fun :)
HopeoftheForgotten chapter 4 . 10/20/2007
A note was dripping with sarcasm, that was kinda cool, You are pretty good with words, I can actually SEE what is going on, good job!
HopeoftheForgotten chapter 2 . 10/20/2007
Ne, that was funny, good job!
HummingbirdsWildHeart chapter 32 . 8/22/2007
I love your story i finally finished all the chapters! It has a beautiful range of vocabulary, and the conversations are witty and comical. Also sweet and dead serious. Seriously you are one of the best freaking Authors i have come across so far. A few have your talent and I seriously love your work! So please keep up this exquisite show of literature! In short IT KISS ASS! I love shades of great and i love descent into rapture! And really I hope you updated soon! *British accent* Fucking Fabulous Sweet heart and a Bloody good show! Keep it up!

-Bitter-Blood
Hiei's Cute Girl chapter 32 . 8/14/2007
I like the gaming idea you added. Quite amusing, I must say. One thing I really dislikes was Sakura's attitude, made me think 'Take that bitch out pronto!' (Yes, with the word 'pronto', which is sometimes too pocha for my tastes, but it popped into my head. XD) Ah, anyway, that's the only thing that bothers me. It's like she thinks she knows everything about Sasuke, which, from what I can tell, she does not. I can't wait until she gets the wake-up make. Make it good, yeah?

Good luck with the makings of the next wonderful chapter!
ilovekoga chapter 32 . 8/9/2007
awsome. no other word can describe how i'm loveing this.
kenshinlover2002 chapter 32 . 8/7/2007
Good chapter, update.
dream.sequins chapter 32 . 8/7/2007
Phew, I managed to make it through all 32 chapters. (...Not that it was a terrible feat, mind you!) I had been admittedly intrigued to take a look at this fic for a while now, what with the mention of scalene triangles and ItaHinaSasu in the summary, but found myself a tad bit intimidated by large number of chapters it had accumulated to date. Usually, when a story has 25 chapters already, I'll wait until it's completed to take a look...

But, boy am I glad I thrilled that I decided to read this pre-completion!

You've managed to concoct a brilliant fanfiction here, mixing together an interesting, intriguing and inticate plot, along with original characterization, accomplished without making the characters dreadfully out of character. (If that makes any sense at all...) Mixing your characteristics with Hinata's works well, although a small part of me still has to get used to Hinata's witty remarks and comebacks. (But you have adjusted her character in a way that makes perfect sense in the fanfic, without eliminating the endearing aspects of her personality, eg. the blushing, putting her family before her own desires...)

The wittiness of your story is something that caught my eye immediately. Everything is just so...well put. A favorite of mine would be when they were comparing Sasuke's family to a circus. 'Don't feed the executives...' Clever, as was the symbolism of the ring! Not to mention your vocabulary is impressive, using learned words without disrupting the fluidity of the story.

...Oh, and I most certainly knew what it meant to 'osculate', so by no means was I disappointed. _ The issue of them 'sucking face' was approached wonderfully. It was described eloquently, with enough description for me to know that they were going at it, but not in the way that made it seem I was reading about a tacky tongue wrestling match.

During chapters...6-10, and for a bit on and off afterward, I found myself becoming restless with the lack relationship development...And becoming more and more irked with Itachi, as a side note ( But, I found myself becoming more interested again once chapter eleven came around. At a few points, I found all the questions without answers and plot twists a tad bit confusing, but never enough for me to actually 'lose track' of what was going on. Occasionally, the dialogue would become a bit jumbled up, especially when the characters in the scene hadn't been predetermined. (eg. The beginning of chapter 28) But, I usually found myself figuring out who was speaking quickly enough, although there were a couple of scenes I had to revisit a few times.

Other than the sporadically confusing dialogue, I have no real complaints about your fic from a literary standpoint. Your grammar is good overall, even in the unbetaed chapters (I've never had a beta, so I know how troublesome it is having to proofread /everything/ yourself...)

Now, to switch from my complimenting/critiquing mode to my crazy SasuHina fangirl mode:

Hinata just /has/ to end up with Sasuke! It's obvious that he cares for her, seeing how he's opened up to her in ways he hadn't to anyone before! And Itachi is just an uncaring jerk... Although it seems that Itachi has some feelings for Hinata, they are nothing compared to Sasuke's. Hinata and Sasuke have bonded better, and...ugh! He could /obviously/ run the company well, because he was supposed to wed Hinata in the first place! Geez, Hinata just has to forget about that playboy Itachi and follow her heart's desire!

(And I refuse to say that that is a biased account, because I support ItaHina as well...)

Anyway, I LOVE your fic to pieces! In all actuality, it is /seriously/ underrated; you deserve oodles more in the review department. And don't be mad just because readers ask you to 'update soon'! Not /everyone/ who reads your fic can leave a critique, or maybe they just dont have the time. So, they just want to give you their support; telling you to update soon just conveys how much they love your fic, and how eager they are for you to continue. But, not wanting to fall into a reviewing faux pas, I will end with this:

I hope that you find the inspiration to continue this story as soon as humanly possible. (For I know that inspiration can be hard to come across) I rabidly await the next chapter!

Ja,

TheTwilightPrincess ;)
talapadme chapter 32 . 8/6/2007
I love Latin! Sorry, I've had three doughnuts today really really hyper but still mellow! Okay, Review time after a brief word of sympathy for having your laptop stolen and having to lose all that information! AH! I will kill the frinking moronic idiot who did that! GR! Anyway, sorry! Love the story so so much, Clockwork! LOVE IT TO THE MILLIONTH POWER! But scalene triangle to whom I wonder! Oh well, can't wait for the next chapter!

Lots of Love,

Talapadme
NanamiNihilia chapter 32 . 8/5/2007
lol great job!
kyuubizshadow chapter 31 . 7/19/2007
Great story! The plot is awesome and not never wraking cliche-ey, if thats a word
peachluver chapter 1 . 6/29/2007
lol.. Is it possibl include whos the pairins in this story lol... no way m I gonna read 31 chappies w/o knoin tht lol
Renoa Heartilly chapter 31 . 6/27/2007
oh WHY do you tease me so? *pulls hair* that was one hot moment back there, i hope something develops from their game xD (loved the scene with hinata thinking in the shower, beats all the fan-service-y pretends-to-think scenes done badly in anime) and i love damp hair
Hatake Megumi chapter 13 . 6/27/2007
I should probably be reading the rest of the story before I say anything but I truly hope that Hinata gets together with Itachi in the end...

As for your story, cheers! I love that your vocabulary in this fanfic and your sarcasm and humour is absolutely fantastic. Keep up the good work!
Hatake Megumi chapter 8 . 6/27/2007
I'm not even halfway through your story but I have to say it's amazing! I love the way you portrayed Hanabi, she has to be my favourite character so far. XD
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