|Reviews for Heart Shapped Necklace|
| Cathaign chapter 1 . 5/10/2007
Um, you do realize that when you can't find the sub-category for whatever fandom you're writing for, you put them in the sub category marked "miscellaneous", right? Just be a little smarter than the average five year old, please.
As for the fic-
It's short. None of the characters are discribed at all. You expect us to know who they are automatically. What with the fic being in the wrong section and all, it's doubtful that many readers will know what you are talking about.
Also "pain shacking groan came from his bedroom" makes no sense. Grammatically, it is correct, but I didn't know that "shacking" meant anything. The sentence would be better if you said "a pain-filled groan came from his bedroom."
So yeah. I think they opened up a Princess Ai section.
So move the story, add details, and watch out for nonsensical sentences!
| Lunamaria chapter 1 . 7/25/2006
hello, this is a princess NINE category & if you're aware of that, then don't put it in a category it doesn't belong in.
it's in the rules you know.
| S. Chensu and Luff chapter 1 . 1/7/2006
OMR, I'M SUPPOSED TO BE YOUR STALKER AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW YOU HAD POSTED! I'M SO SORRY! *Coughs* Anyways...
Now I haven't read the manga, I only know it vaguely but not a bad start. You might want to spend some time on your scenes though and make them a bit longer, really try to get some emotions in there. You also have to make the assumption that not everyone will know the characters well too (like me) so you can introduce them too.
But keep on going, this is a promising start!
S. Chensu x (your new found stalker).
| Yugi and Mai chapter 1 . 1/5/2006
CHARLIO! *glomps*..howdy wowdy my taller and new fanfic member, hmm member..hehe soz..mind got carried away there..and as you can tell im not pugi..*spotlights flash on*..I DAH DAH..YUGI MUTO! hehe.._ talk about action, well depends on things but anyway I like what you have done so far and to be honest *puts hands up*..I DONT KNOW WHO ANY OF THEM ARE..0_0...I thought when you said Kent you meant the county XP (yami: What an idiot..) _ hmpf but heh I like it and as you know with my sick mind well when I heard the groan from the bedroom.i was..*twiddles fingers*..i thought it was going to be yaoi.I CANT HELP IT! is hikari a guy or girl..hmm..probably a girl but i know 4 different hikaris and they rguys, (Yami: She means Yugi, Ryou, Marik and Satoshi) YES THE HIWATARI WAS ORGINALLY A HIKARI!damn..ijust ramble on dont i but anyway I feel this has great potential I just need oworkout who is who first..i know who princess ai is and i can now gather that Kent is not the county. heh but i hope you enjoy readng this essey and i told you i ramble on but well i honestly cant say much at the mo till i get to read what the actual manga is for I dont know anyone but I like it and guess what as your a friend I wil have to add this fic to my favs but you have to be proud for *trumpets blow*..UR THE FIRST PERSON TOHAVE ASTORY INOLVING A STRAIGHT COUPLE PUT ON OUR FAVS! _heh you should be proud of that..but please update soon and well you'll be expecting these sort fo reviews from me..SO U BETTER UPDATE! _
| Lia Xaragi chapter 1 . 1/5/2006
Hey Charlio dude, welcome to Good to see another familiar face here, and I'm honored to be able to be the first to review you, my old friend!
If you do get some people going on at you because it's in the wrong series section, just ignore them cos they obviously wouldn't have read the summary. Maybe you have to contact the administrators to get a new section added to the site.
Right, onto reviewing the story! Great start to your fics collection, it's short but sharp and grips attention, setting the stage for a good story to follow! Nice work! (Not that I expected anything less from someone with your imagination, ha ha ha!) So keep up the good work and I hope to see the next chapter up ASAP! (Just don't get your stories mixed up in with your English coursework-I did that once and it lead to some pretty bad questions...)
Great job! Keep it up and update soon!
From your pal
PS My reviews aren't always this long-winded...you'll probably find that later on it'll be two line with 'good job update soon' content...I just wanted to make the effort cos it's your first fic...I'm also on a free period right now and have free time to randomly type..yeah...