|Reviews for Becoming Neville|
| psychopixi chapter 34 . 11/24/2016
This is the best story I have read that focuses on fleshing-out one of the secondary characters from HP. I love Neville's development through the course of this story; his confidence and self-esteem increasing as he learns more about himself, his past, and his family. I enjoyed Remus and Severus's awkward friendship, and Neville's own growing relationship with his previously terrifying professor. I thought the plot line surrounding the Cruciatus Curse was original and interesting, and I liked all of the OC's you introduced - even if I didn't exactly like them all as people! I found the ending very poignant, and thought it worked very well. I like the open-ended finish, which I found tear-jerking but on balance a hopeful and positive close to the story. Neville didn't get the miracle cure he fantasised about (and which we probably all recognised as unrealistic) but he did get to see the beginnings of improvement from Dr Chatterjee's treatment. Excellent fic, thank you!
| norwich36 chapter 34 . 11/22/2016
This is one of my favorite Neville stories of all time. I also really love your Snape and Lupin, as well as your OCs (especially Dr. Chatterjee, who is completely delightful).
| coolshava chapter 20 . 10/7/2016
dang. this is getting darker and darker, but I can't bring myself to stop!
| pambob343 chapter 34 . 9/3/2016
| lrsgreenleaf chapter 32 . 8/31/2016
| G the Headmaster chapter 34 . 8/27/2016
Neville is such an under rated character.
This was a great story. Thank you for writing it.
| Prackspoor chapter 12 . 8/23/2016
There are characters that make you wish that you could punch them through the screen and in the face. Not many, admittedly, but they exist. Nurse Nettlethorne would now be officially added to my list. She reminds me too much of Sister Ratchett and Dolores Umbridge all rolled into one. The way she Stupefied Alice showed clearly that she would forgo dealing with a patient professional for petty revenge which is scary when you think how much power someone like her has over her patients. This is exactly the "imbalance in power and abuse" hospital scenario some people are afraid of.
Driftwood seems shifty. Even while I read the very first sentences he appeared hin, I was thinking that this was a guy I would trust no farther than I can spit. His hollow phrases that are meant to comfort, the slighlty over-the-top friendliness, the condescension of the medical professional towards the layman - it adds up to draw an unflattering picture of him. But what really corborrated my suspicions is the apparent poison overdosing they are treating them with. I share Neville's concern and I am sure there is something fishy about this.
This also sounds like Snape is going to become important later on when Neville is trying to work out the medication of his parents, the contraindications and the cross-effects.
Snape and Neville teaming up to curbstomp haughty Driftwood and his dumb nurse would be something I'd very much like to read.
All in all, I feel like we're sliding into a Harry Potter version of "One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest" here.
| Prackspoor chapter 11 . 8/23/2016
Here we go...
I know Molly just means well, but I still don't like her butting in at every possible opportunity. She is too over-protective and smothering. Lupin tells them to stay put as well, but he at least interacts with them in a normal manner and gives them something to do. Also, he stays calm and understanding when he tells them why their trip was foolhardy. Molly on the other hand isn't even present most of the time but still she is always interfering even if there are other adults who are tasked with looking out for Harry and Neville (which leads to her kind of undermining everyone else's authority on the matter). And she's always flying off the handle when she does and goes bossing everyone around even when they are not her own children.
But she's the same in the books, so I guess kudos to you for getting her right.
Remus' breakdown was hard to read. It was hinted that Sirius' death was still eating away at him, and looking back we had it a long time coming, but the extent of his breakdown was unexpected. Neville once again shows off his observational and empathic skills. No one acts until he offers to take Lupin upstairs and even afterwards the only other thing Snape is capable of are flippant remarks.
That being said, I do get the impression that despite everything, Snape is sorry for Lupin.
Truth be told, I find your Snape more interesting than the original, simply because he appears more layered, more human and less jaded here.
Ah, so Driftwood is a doctor. I'm excited to see whether this obscure doctor will turn out to be a help for them or someone Alice wanted to warn them from.
| Prackspoor chapter 10 . 8/23/2016
The trip to Muggle London was a very Harry thing to suggest and you wrote it hilariously. This was the funniest part of the story to date. We're usually so swept up on our daily lives that it would never occur to us how strange some of our devices and customs might seem to someone who is not used to it. You did a great job pointing that out, especially when Neville was talking to the door of the train and thanking it for reminding him of the gap.
I also read the thing about moving pictures and motion pictures and thought "Well, that's right. Good point." The wizarding world doesn't make sense and neither does the Muggle world.
A day of lighthearted fun surely did them a world of good. I'm glad Neville thinks he found a friend and I hope he is right. Sadly, he's right in that he won't be able to contend with Ron and Hermione, but as it is he and Harry are alone at Grimmauld Place circumstance makes friends after all. Maybe he'll grow to be a friend for Harry in his own right - a friend who's different from Hermione and Ron, but just as important only in a different way.
I wonder what the consequences Moody announced will look like.
| Prackspoor chapter 9 . 8/23/2016
I already mentioned it before, but I really enjoy how you keep your characters close to the original without them being exact copies. Snape for instance is absolutely in-character in how he acts and treats Harry and Neville, but he does seem to be worried about Lupin to some extent at least.
Neville holding his ground during his questioning was the biggest win for him so far. I'd go out on a limb and say that standing up to Snape can only have a positive effect for Neville. Snape does not like people who talk back at him, but as I see it he downright despises people who won't even stick up for themselves. A self-confident and polite Neville might even get along with him on purely professional terms, seeing how they share an interest and a talent. It will be interesting to read how that is going to play out.
| Prackspoor chapter 8 . 8/23/2016
What a wham!-chapter in more than one sense.
Neville standing up for himself and not giving in an inch to Nurse Nettlethorne!
Grandma Longbottom being her usual awesome self and finally seeing Neville as more than a clumsy boy!
And Portrait-Bellatrix, holy damn. It makes sense that there'd be a portrait of her somewhere, but it would also make the trusthwortiness rating of Grimmauld Place drop from "dubious looks, vaguely safe" to "get-the-hell-out-of-there-and-move-to-the-Fiji-isles-before-they-get-you". Portraits are sentient as far as we know and they can also move between frames.
My question is, how does neither Bellatrix nor Narcissa know that the Order's headquarters are at Grimmauld Place? Following Rowling's logic, portraits are aware of their surroundings and can think coherently (or at least as coherently as their real counterparts), which would leave the Order basically busted. The Fidelius Charm stops working as soon as an outsider knows of the location. So how is everyone still alive? Or is the worst yet to come?
I think I know now why Harry was so grumpy when Neville arrived. I don't think talking to Bellatrix is a good idea.
| Prackspoor chapter 7 . 8/23/2016
I wonder what the "driftwood" clue will turn out to be in the end.
Your Tonks is even better than the original. I always liked her, but here she's rising quickly to one of my favourite characters. Makes you wonder what would've happened if she'd been in the same year as Fred and George. They'd probably blown up Hogwarts between them.
Finally Neville is starting to notice he's not only being involved but also that he finally starts to believe in him self. It's high time the boy gained some self-confidence.
Favourite quote comes from Harry this time:
"I thought you were reading up on exorcism." - "I was, but I got sidetracked."
The personality of Harry Potter in a nutshell.
| Prackspoor chapter 6 . 8/23/2016
Having Lupin grow up in St. Mungo's is a very cool idea. It makes sense seeing how sometimes parents just aren't able to deal with a severely impaired child. I don't see why this should not apply to the magical world as well.
The scene where they bond over lost parents is nice, although I must say that "The Orphan Welfare League" sounds like something Hermione would have come up with instead of one of those three.
Neville's in charge of the project - nice!
| Prackspoor chapter 5 . 8/23/2016
Addition to Chapter 4: The scene were they figure out the messages on the wrappers is spine-chilling.
It poses so many questions. Why does she need their help? Against whom? I wonder if St. Mungo's is everything it makes out to be.
All in all, the scene is creepy as hell.
I really like the Golden Trio dynamics here and all the difficulties they are having. Ron and Hermione getting closer while Harry's being periodically distant. Neville is a good observer when he wonders about how they can be such close friends in the first place. Seamus and Dean having a betting pool is awesome and I'm adding that to my head-canon of Gryffindor house.
It's aggravating to read how inferior Neville feels next to the trio, though. He's always putting himself below them. While he might never be as close to the three as they are to each other, it's sad to see that he thinks so little of his own accomplishment. Then again, this is Neville we are talking about and it's a realistic way to write him.
You can relate to him and Ginny, when it is made clear that the trio is a private circle you cannot simply become part even if you might want to.
On the other hand it's interesting to read of his resentment against his parents being seen as another mystery to solve. I don't think the trio is seeing the mystery exclusively with no regard to Alice and Frank as people, but I can see why this might rub Neville the wrong way.
That being said, I really like your Ron. He seems more mature than the original and it requires less suspension of disbelief why Hermione would fancy him.
| Prackspoor chapter 4 . 8/23/2016
Augusta Longbottom owns this chapter from the first time she makes an appearance. When you ignore that like almost everyone else she is underestimating Neville and putting him down in a way, she's awesome.
On the other hand, from a healer's perspective she is probably the worst patient you could have what with smoking in a hospital et cetera.
The scenes with Neville's parents are at the same time heart-warming and heart-breaking. It's sad that Neville is always worried about what Harry is thinking or that he'll be made fun of for something he does. But at least he allows his mother to groom him despite everything, because it matters more to him than other people's opinions. Good job on the scene where he is envious of Harry. The sentiment is very relatable. On the other hand, I think no one would say that Harry didn't deserve a bit of motherly affection as well which makes it all the more difficult.
I enjoy the little details you mention which make the whole story more realistic because those are things everyone subconsciously picks up on and can relate to, e.g. old women reading cheap paperbacks which are stacked on their nightstand, patients complaining about their food and so on and so on.