|Reviews for Looking for Magic|
| duj chapter 23 . 2/27/2006
The chapter seems a bit flat. I think it's becayse it's all "talking heads". Any dialogue more than a couple of lines long needs to be anchored in some activity the protagonists are engaging in. Some writers call this THAD, Talking Heads Avoidance Device. Conference meetings are especially prone to this problem, but you can solve it to some extent by paying attention to body language.
| princesssfiona chapter 23 . 2/27/2006
Well, Sev and Hermione working together in the cellar - alone! next chapter - looking forward to it *grin*
I'd love to read Sev cooking dinner for the boys and them having to eat the meal - I can just imagine Sev terrorising them before I while they eat hehe
| lady-rhian chapter 23 . 2/26/2006
This is big, huge, oh my goodness - such a deftly handled turn of plot is to be commended. I love the scenes with Severus and the Order - it lends so much reality, dare I say even insight? into the characters. It also, of course, indulges all of our crazed curiosities about what JK does with them! The handling of the Malfoy family right now is just superb. I have virtually nothing constructive to say about this chapter, save that I cannot wait for the next one - which, I hope, is the scene with Hermione and Severus with the potions!
All the best,
| severus-fan chapter 23 . 2/26/2006
Another fantastic chapter. I'm really enjoying this story, and finding a brand new chapter in my inbox was wonderful. It made my night. Making Lucius into a spy is a bit of a risk, but hopefully everything will turn out okay. What I'm worried about, is if it looks like the Order is losing the war, will Lucius switch sides completely? But Voldemort would have to find out he's a spy first. Otherwise Lucius could just sit on the fence. Yep...Yeah...anyway, awesome job, and UPDATE SOON!
| MiMschi chapter 22 . 2/26/2006
this is a very good story. in my opinion you have every right so make up ur own characters even if that does not go well with canon. its fanfiction after all and you do a great job there.
| Siren34 chapter 22 . 2/24/2006
Great new chapter.
I feel so bad for Severus, taking 2 Crucios so that Draco can remain safe.
I like Lucius so far, I am hoping that he will remain a loyal friend to Severus.
I can't wait to read more of this.
Please update soon
| OzRatbag2 chapter 22 . 2/24/2006
Thank you for the compliment! :)
I do like the way this story is progressing and i can tell you're having a lot of fun writing it too. It shows as you explore the characters in a new setting, and let them unravel aspects of each other. There is still a sinister undercurrent, but it's tempered by a healthy dollop of hope.
I love Hermione's graduation present to herself - and I can see her using her tried and true study techniques in her...explorations. The idea of Draco hunting out the adult sites is just a gorgeous counterpoint and one that he may well slip up on at some stage. I daresay if he had any idea of your unique initiation practice for the DE's, he'd be running very swiftly in the opposite direction.
I'll be avidly watching to see how you get Severus into the picture in the US. I do have a theory as to how you're going to achieve it, but I'll stay mum for now and just wait for it to wander out into the open (as it were). :D
| rinny08 chapter 22 . 2/23/2006
i'm liking it more and more with every chapter. keep up the good work
| princesssfiona chapter 22 . 2/23/2006
Woohoo! I came home from work to find 2 chapters waiting for me - You marvellous woman!
I loved Hermione and her vibrator - great scene! I also like the way Draco and Hermione are interacting. I am enjoying where you are taking the characters - even Lucius. I'm getting quite fond of the man who is caring for his family. I wonder though what he will do with the info about Hermiones safety that Sev let slip - hmm, could be interesting in the future.
Love Sev - he rocks!
| Jinxd n cursed chapter 22 . 2/23/2006
fabulous, as usual. :-D
| flowerpagoda chapter 22 . 2/22/2006
I genuinely hope you continue this, and soon. I have spent two nights reading this wonderful story when I should have been reading for other classes or doing something of the like. I greatly enjoy it- I cannot possibly convey this anymore! :D Give mee more...yes, I sound ridiculously childish :D
| duj chapter 22 . 2/22/2006
Still too explicit for my taste (not that I have a right to complain as it is M-rated, but often M-stuff is still quite innocuous).
I'm glad you're portraying Lucius as a devoted family man. Torturing strangers and loving your family are not mutually exclusive activities; even people who lead evil lifestyles are not uniformly wicked.
| severus-fan chapter 22 . 2/22/2006
I do like the idea of Lucius not being 100% evil. He's my second favorite Slytherin. I can't find many stories where he isn't evil, in fact. Which is to my everlasting sadness. Anyway, this story was wonderfully written and interesting. It was horrible reading about what Voldemort did to Severus (Poor man!). It was nice of Lucius to help Severus though. I wonder what Lucius thinks about Draco becoming more friendly with Hermione? Does he see it as a means to an end, or is he a little worried they might actually be friends? I'm glad to know there will be some Severus/Hermione interaction in the near future. I do love SS/HG, and this story is grand. Why will Hermione need to go back to Englad? Is it just for a visit? Will Hermione eventually have a run-in with the elder Malfoy? I really can't wait to read more, so I humbly beg (and offer cookies) that you update again very soon. Please? :o)
| Purplygirl11 chapter 22 . 2/22/2006
I loved your updates, I can't imagine what might happen next so you'll just have to update again soon! right?(hopeful thinking) ~Joani
| snapedreamer chapter 22 . 2/22/2006
Hello! I did get your replay back to my comment and if anything you can call me Edania or snapedreamer..whatever is easy for you.
Anyway I have just read chapter 22 and thought i give my somewhat final thoughts. I do kinda do this once in a while,after i read all the chapters.
To say I have read some stories that have taken ,this route..you know taking in how hermione goes to college..well in Snape fic anyway , but frist ever i read one where she goes to the same college with draco..so i like to say very good thinking on that part. I liked how how your taking your time with chapters and showing us a little piece what goes on with snape and hermione , very well detailed too. You really don't hide anything back and really explain yourself..oh i mean them. But you get it.
You did a great job og really telling us everything about whats going. Now i have read chapter 22.. now that indeed shocked for i have not seen that coming and had not known, that snape went through that and again with yuor gift of story telling, you clearly gave us in sight of what he went through. This story i think will rank one of my time favs and will be coming along very good. And that leaf..? You also got thinking that draco was evil..for moment anyway.
Oh one more thing, do say thankyou for me to your betas, they did a wonderful job , i know that the three of you will come out with another great chapter . I shall be here to read it . And do keep it up and thanks for updating so fast too.