|Reviews for As the Seconds Pass|
| callumrogers7 chapter 5 . 4/25
OK I will list some positives - 1st I like the whole idea of Georg, once Elsa is out of the picture, building a close friendship with Maria then using the invite to a New Year ball to move their relationship on. 2nd You write very competently. 3rd I like Georg's friends giving them a push in the right direction. 4th I like the second ending the best. As for negatives the same as everyone else - 1st Vocabulary like slut hooker is out of place. 2nd Liesl would never chat about underwear in front of her father. 3rd Maria taking Capt vT's shirt off is too forward, as is him walking in on her in a changing room, more subtlety is needed. 4th Children wouldn't talk of flirting in front of a parent. Lastly Capt vT saying Maria acts drunk/high is odd. FANTASTIC story just a few small improvements from being faultless. You should definitely continue to write lots of potential there.
| UnfollowTheSun chapter 5 . 12/30/2014
Probably a tad out of character, but I love it regardless. Haha! My only criticism is I'd leave out the 'slut' & 'hooker' stuff & phrase those things a bit more appropriately for Maria, also the bra bit was a bit cringe worthy. Not sure she'd take the Captain's shirt completely off neither but hey! Apart from that I like it & hope you write some more SOM fanfics.
| utility - singer chapter 5 . 7/9/2013
Wonderful story! Love the flirty banter between Georg and Maria.
| som04 chapter 5 . 2/29/2012
cracker lovely story, nicely writen too, hope to see more of your work. :)
| login password chapter 5 . 1/11/2012
| Owl Emporium chapter 2 . 7/29/2010
Okay, so I couldn't finish reading this. I'm sorry...you're writing was perfectly good...if you were writing a High School Musical fanfic. Or a Juno one. Or whatever teenage movie you can think of. It's not the writing that's bad, it's that it DOESN'T FIT. The language is wrong ("Slut"? No.) and the characters are, well out of character. Maria and George would NEVER act that way, unless they were MARRIED. Not even bethrothed would she take off this shirt. Liesly wouldn't go lingere shopping much less know what it was, considering she's 16. In today's world, kids know this stuff but keep in mind that this is the 1030s. Sex was a very delicate topic. And Maria was going to be a nun. ...I think it's pretty obvious she wouldn't take those liberties unless she was married with him and not for a while, too.
Again, the writing isn't bad. However, it's not suitable for SoM. I think you need to understand the time period better before you write anything else SoM.
| Vampire Wings chapter 4 . 5/21/2010
I just realized what that summary you wrote ment. At first i thought you did not like how Kurt reacted in the story. I get now that you ment in your story. I was confused i admit it.
| Vampire Wings chapter 5 . 5/21/2010
From what i read the only different part was Kurts reaction. I really love the story. You should write a sequel.
| Christa chapter 1 . 1/10/2009
Are you a Harry Potter fan? You'd tell me "It's none of your business!" but I noticed that your Penname is Marauders3 and that you used the same phrase that Harry used to ask Cho to the ball when you wanted to express the same feelings with the Captain, this time of course, with Maria. I don't really know why I'm asking. Just natural curiosoty, I think! By the way, Excellent job!
| eac-dudette chapter 5 . 1/8/2007
omg this was wonderful! wow i loved it to bits! *sigh* perfect!
| Guest chapter 5 . 9/3/2006
Hey. Just finished your story. I liked the story itself (A LOT), however, I didn't think that Maria, Georg or Leisl were very much like their characters - especially the bit about the dress and the bra, and also Maria removing his shirt whilst they are still just friends, and the flirting thing.
That said though, I do very much like the idea that they become close friends before getting into the relationship, and that she becomes more at ease with him - I just thought that them curled up on the sofa with him half naked was making them a little 'too comfortable' with each other.
I also like the idea of Anna and Joseph giving them a push in the right direction (although I found Jakob a little forward!), because in the film we know little about the Captains friends.
Oh...and I like the 2nd ending best!
In all though I like it, despite what I said at the beginning - its just that its often easier to elaborate on things you dislike, even if they only make up the minority of you opinion (if that makes sense). After each chapter I was still eager to read the next, and I was (as always) anxious for them to realise they loved each other and finally get together.
Thanks for a good read.
| Hikaru-neko chapter 1 . 7/25/2006
| RevSue chapter 5 . 5/25/2006
Hm ... I'm having a hard time deciding which ending I like better re: Kurt! I like them BOTH!
And I LOVED the chapters at the ball with them dancing, and the bantering back and forth, and how Anna set them up for the kiss, etc. ... great job! Thank you!
| The Marauders3 chapter 5 . 4/23/2006
I liked the tangoing but I don't really know about the flirting... hmm.
| TartanLioness chapter 5 . 3/12/2006
aw, this whole story wzs just so cute! I thought both of Kurt's reactions were great!
Going on my fav list!