|Reviews for A Pair Of Not So Normal Teens|
| CheshireCatGrin3421 chapter 1 . 12/25/2008
aw adorable! :)i really like it ! :) keep it goig! :)
| Harriet Usher chapter 1 . 5/1/2006
This is a really good story, and I enjoyed it. But I thought it was a bit short. It would be good if you wrote a sequel, where there's more of the Ghostbusters thene, instead of it being all about what happened at school. A for effort though.
| Abadon 666 chapter 1 . 3/14/2006
I like the character. I never understood the Eduardo & kylie pairing bit frankly. It seems to me at least in some episodes, both women (Janine & Kylie) have a thing for Egon.
Eduardo is usualy portrayed as a pretty worthless guy, who hangs around and pesters Kylie & Janine, but they aren't interested in him because they're into Egon and, the mans an asshole. That's the charm of the series & a continual sub plot.
I like cartoons that are timeless. 0nce you start dating them you'll screw up the timeline everytime. Most fanfic authors who try dating the series do so from 1997/8 when it was in production. Like I said it's better NOT to date toons at all.
Exactly how long are these folks going to college? Following your timeline I make it about 7 or 8 years. A bit long unless they're going for a doctorate.
Some people like Eduardo. I don't. He was a joke character added to the series to be a bungler and a poor mans, politically-correct Peter Venkman. But whereas Peter was actually funny in the old series, Eduardo was miserable in the latter day busters.
I like certain aspects of your story though. If I were a teacher, like Egon, and it was a paper or project, I guess I'd give it a C.
| Kingpin1055 chapter 1 . 1/7/2006
Ceratainly an interesting story... but it felt a little... pointless. It was mostly the introduction of this new author created character, and the Ghostbusters part really only played a very small role in the background... though I sense, you plan more for this character.
There were some parts I was concerned over.
Firstly, dates. I assume from some comments, that this story is set in 2005. That means that Kylie, Eduardo, Roland and Garrett have been going to College for 8 years, which seems a little long for their classes which they started in 1997 (When Extreme Ghostbusters aired).
In addition to dates, the following also concerned me: “But I thought Dr. Spengler, along with Dr. Peter Venkman, Dr. Ray Stantz, and Winston Zedmore had captured all the ghosts in New York City by 1985.”
The Real Ghostbusters series ran from 1986 to 1991, they were 'busting' ghosts for nearly seven years... yet you seem to have them only operate for two.
“That’s only a few blocks from where I live,” Eduardo put in. “I live over in the Briarwood Building.”
At least in 1997, Eduardo was living in a small apartment over his brother's garage... now I suppose in 2005 he might have moved out... but there also seems to be little information about where in New York it actually is.
He shifted awkwardly in his seat, blushing. “Actually…I was thinking about becoming a teacher. Little kids, not the University level. I, uh…I have a nephew; he’s eight, and I just…” He made a vague gesture to encompass everything he couldn’t say.
Eduardo is usually personified as a slacker... so this seems a little odd coming from him unless he was lying to Amarin.
“What, your heater go out? I’m actually a pretty fair mechanic; I might be able to fix it.”
On the show, Roland was the established mechanic/electrician... Eduardo made the near fatal mistake of confusing positives and negatives with electricity, so this is definately out of character.
Finally, you mention Eduardo's cousin as being eight years old in 2005, but he would have probably been closer to 10 or 12 in 1997...
I think there's a lot of room for improvement in various fields... firstly, I'm worried that Amarin might be turning into a Mary Sue character, but I'd also recommend a careful look into the background of the characters... rewatch the show if you can (You can view most episodes at or study a compilation of facts that was made for people writing fics (Such as the Ghostbusters Omnibus Timeline at
It pays to know the characters you're writing about. Hope the advice helps.