Reviews for Together Forever
Wait-For-Sleep chapter 1 . 5/14/2007
Great. This is awesome, I like how it takes place a week before the scene in Renji's flashback. Ive only read a couple of your fics, but they're really great 3
Aileen chapter 1 . 4/16/2006
Nice work! I love the flow of the narrative, though I'm not sure you need the last sentence. You could almost end it with Rukia making that proposal, as we all know where it goes from there ;P

As for a title, I agree that you should change it. How about... "The Third Mark", or something about the last grave, etc. No need to allude to the together forever bit, more to the transition that occurs after the third death.
Clazziquai chapter 1 . 1/10/2006
Nicely done. One of my favourite pairings too.
notnow chapter 1 . 1/10/2006
The 'fleeting' seems to come across stronger than their wish to be together forever. Perhaps you can work that word into the title if you still want to change it?

Anyhow, I found this not only well written, but also written with unique phrases. Lines such as 'Silence again became the monarch' is a perfect example of great phrasing.

And about butchering the use of the semi-colon, I wasn't sure if you weren't sure how to use them...? It's basically taking two sentences that can stand independently and putting them together because they effectively support the same idea. That's why “Everything is fleeting; nothing lasts." works while "She pulled her hands away from his; not harshly, but abruptly." would be better with a comma in place of the semi-colon.

Also, when used too often, it can lose its effect.
Renleek chapter 1 . 1/9/2006
That was beautifully written, way to go! I loved it! Can you write more drabbles of this pairing, they deserve more attention! Thx, very beautiful!