Reviews for Written In Ink
JiraiyaShika chapter 23 . 8/10/2008
hi again, um i was wondering if you would mind emailing me when you update a new chapter, because your story is simply amazing. by the way, if you havnt yet thought of a new attack for the kitsunetsuki, i was wondering if you could make it a massive blast of chakra coming from the mouth, while Naruto has the power of the kyubi, but complete control of himself. and then maby Jiraiya can only do it when in Sage mode( check wikipedia) and only do it once, but naruto can use it a couple of times. and if possible can it wipe out half a mountain with one shot, and possibly look simmilar to the lohingrime from the show: Gundam Seed? if that were the new move it would be so kick ass. and please let me know when the next chapter is up, this story is magnificent!
JiraiyaShika chapter 23 . 8/10/2008
you wouldnt possibly be considering hooking up Gaara with Sumi, would you?
Kira chapter 23 . 7/5/2006
I'm so glad you updated. I was starting to worry. But I enjoyed this chapter and can't wait for the next.
White Alchemist Taya chapter 23 . 7/4/2006


like i said on mediaminer.

update soon!~
Battosai25 chapter 23 . 7/4/2006
great chap!

loved your fighting scenes, they were not too long and compact, Sumi got the drop on them and thats it

Dont compare Naruto and Sumi, it would be unrealistic if Sumi is better than him, and on the other hand, she cannot realy protect him if shes weaker... so let them develope great teamwork, so that, if they fight together, they are tree tims better than each of them alone or so (for example they are aware what the other is gonna do and Sumi attacks long ranged and maybe uses gejutsu and helps keep Narutos temper in check and he is a close ranged fighter and uses taijutsu and ninjutsu and helps Sumi develope her confidence and that sometimes you just have to do something instead of thinking too much xD...)

both of them arent really teamfighters, maybe you could let them slowly accept the other one as an equal, there is a lot to explore is this domain

hope I somwhat helped you develope new ideas .

Im interestet in the techniqus you thought up...cant wait to see them
Battosai25 chapter 22 . 5/28/2006
your story develops nicely

I liked Narutos talk with Kyubi, he acted so mature

Maybe you could give Naruto a B class mission or so, to see

some action and a few new tricks and techniques Naruto learned

from ero-sennin, it would be interesting.

keep up the good work
Kira chapter 22 . 5/27/2006
Yay for the update! Can't wait to see what you have planned.
Kira chapter 21 . 4/13/2006
Your welcome. And you don't have to worry so much about updating faster. Because if you rush, it doesn't turn out as good as it could(that rhymed!)Just update as soon as possible. By the way, excellent chapter.
Battosai25 chapter 21 . 4/13/2006
Nice chap

I like the way Gaara acts

In canon Gaara became Kage in 3 years.

I used to believe that Gaara just decided to be a Chunin, and hey, who argues with Gaara

When Naruto enters the Chunin exam, Gaara is the only one who would be a challange

However, we alreade had a fight between them in the manga...

Maybe you could enter a few sand genin OCs

keep up the good work
Kira chapter 20 . 4/3/2006
i really enjoy the story you're making, it has an interesting plot. but i was wondering if you were going to put Sumi with Gaara pairing wise. i think it'd be a good idea.
Battosai25 chapter 19 . 4/2/2006
So, that is what happened to Sumi, hope Gaara scares them for life when they trie to capture him
dreamer360 chapter 18 . 3/22/2006
awesome, update soon!
Rishan chapter 16 . 3/12/2006
Nice chapter, it is kind of a sad marketing scheme -.-
Battosai25 chapter 16 . 3/12/2006
Danmn it, I hoped the secret about that notation Tsunade found would be revaled this chap...Im really courius about it .

Nice chap, the way Naruto handels Jiraiya XD
Battosai25 chapter 15 . 3/4/2006
so, you want critique...

unfortunalty, Im from Austria (not Australia) and not the best at english. concerning gramma, stile,..., Im not really able to critiqu you

Im only able to give you some ideas.

One thing I can think of is ... character development.

Now that Sumi is Narutos bodygard, shell come in contact with the brutal shinobi world: is she able to kill without remorse? how will she react after her first kill? and Naruto was away training with Jiraija, he should have matured at least a bit (maybe some flashbacks ?_?)

it would be nice if you include a talk between Naruto and Sumi about the duties of a shinobi (maybe after a figth with bandits and she sees him kill..., or something like that)

And if Sumi really has a problem with the duties of a shinobi, you can send Anko to help her out (she is just scary, psychotic, full of bloodlust... it would be funny if they meet O.o)

You already have most of the parings, but you could let the reviewers vote for some you arent certain about.

I hope I helped you someway .
44 | Page 1 .. Last Next »