|Reviews for Salvage|
| The RyRy chapter 3 . 2/18/2006
"Hard to believe that all her possessions fit inside, along with the sword on her back and the pistol at her hip, but then she was an adventurer at heart - she would always travel light." I don't know, but I think this sentence would sit better with an 'it was' at the beginning. It would feel less like a sentence fragment.
Again, the influence of the sports talk on the story is great. This really distances itself from both the Confessional and the events of FFX-2, and gives it the required in-between feel that I think you were going for.
"Thoroughly nonplussed by this speech, all Berrik could do was kiss her back, and then lead her to the bed." - This, I think, is the best characterization of Berrik in the whole story. I really get a feeling for him in this, by his thorough nonplussness (if that's a word, really), and suddenly I feel like I know what he's going through. It's hard to love a woman like Paine. He handles it so gracefully.
I wonder what happens to him afterwards, aside from the whole playing blitz for the rest of time thing. ;)
Great story, and a great intermediate between the events of The Confessional and the game. You cover a great span of time here very easily. Great work!
| The RyRy chapter 2 . 2/18/2006
Good chapter. ) I like how Gippal's keeping the secrets, and how he obviously wants to talk about it but is being forced by his own conscience - or something - to hold back. And the clumsiness with the tray - great. He may think he's graceful, but he's not. Not really, anyway. ;)
I also like how Paine stumbles in her speech at the end. I can hear how hard it is for her to tell him. You're really very good at writing dialogue, you know?
| The RyRy chapter 1 . 2/12/2006
I love when Paine wakes up to Berrik and she says "Hello". It's so realistic and believable!
The talk about blitzball definitely has a feel of a sort of sports article, which is nice. The author's voice sounds like one who is experienced in the world of watching, describing, and loving sports - which, I know vaguely, you do. Way to use your knowledge to cut through your writing and make it "feel right".
I really like how this is from Berrik's point of view. He's never written about, and I think I like him - at least the way you write about him. Great work, and I'm sorry about getting this so late. Time to catch up!
| Yuna-flowering chapter 3 . 1/19/2006
I was wondering how you'd end that. And I always wondered too how Paine might have come to join the gullwings. This was a cute little story- now on to your next epic! :)
| Ikonopeiston chapter 3 . 1/19/2006
Seamless. You have done a grand job of inserting this very necessary episode into the pattern of the lady's life. It fits flawlessly.
I greatly admire the delicacy with which you have drawn Berrik. You have managed to show him as a complete man with all the small imperfections of a real person. His hesitancy and shyness in this chapter makes him all the more genuine. I do hope you will find somewhere to use him again. Telling the story through his eyes was an inspiration!
And how easily and smoothly you set up the next step in Paine's journey. She healed at precisely the proper speed and moved to join the Gullwings at just the right moment. I had wondered how she could ally herself with the idiotic Rikku but if it was Buddy who charmed and recruited her, it all works out believably.
This is a lovely story and I am grateful to you for writing it. The title is exactly right on so many levels. *applause*
| Ikonopeiston chapter 2 . 1/13/2006
The scene by the railing is so beautifully done with one meaning for those of us who experienced Confessional and still another, equally valid, for those who did not. I particularly appreciated the image of her looking up at a taller man ... Painted with great skill and accuracy. Beautiful.
May I tell you again how much I admire your talent with dialogue? After reading some other fanfic today it was especially pleasant to come back to your work and the smooth flow of conversation. Your dialogue always falls properly on the ear and that is not an easy thing to do.
This is a brilliant story. The manner in which you insert the connections to her recent past into the present without descending into maudlin emotionalism is elegant. You are showing us more clearly than ever what the relationship meant to her and how badly she was damaged by what happened at the end. There is no question that the situation between the two must be repaired in order to preserve them both. I am growing very fond of Berrik and feeling grateful for what he is doing to help Paine. It is a pity we cannot clone her. Truly, this is one of the most internally valid stories you have written. One feels you have inhabited Paine and understand her perfectly. Thank you.
| Ikonopeiston chapter 1 . 1/10/2006
Lovely. I feel like Berrick, slipping back into conversation with one I know well. What a grand idea this is - to fill in those months with a rekindled flame and a myxterious past. (Hers, not his.)
You have moved easily into the persona of Berrick. He seems worthy of our lass but she always did have good taste. I am eagerly looking forward to the continuation of this. Your interpretation of Paine has ever intrigued me.
One thing I note - you seem very much at ease with this pair of lovers. Your writing has become more and more fluid. Go back and look at some of your first stuff and you will see what I mean.
A tiny nit - "scouring Spira for anything the Al Bhed can use for construction"
My ear tells me 'could' would work better here. The sudden move into the present jars it.