|Reviews for Four Years Later|
| KDR chapter 1 . 9/16/2013
How about you stay away from superpowers.
| Guest chapter 13 . 9/2/2013
Ok I don't get it. Kim and shego are two of the most powerful martial artist on the planet. Both of which hate drakken. And yet neither of them thinks to simple knock him out and take the vial? Really!?
| SirRealism chapter 13 . 3/27/2013
So let me get this strait, the water manipulator caved to someone's demands for fear that they'd break a vial of liquid, which she could easily pull off the floor and hold together for later use. Furthermore, she walked away rather than waiting for her plot powered telepathy to turn back on so she could pull the recipe for the cure out of his head.
That was stupid.
| SirRealism chapter 7 . 3/25/2013
A lot of that centurion armor exposition was unecessary for the reader's understanding. And this story is already full of long drawn out explanations of abilities. It might be better to try to summarize this stuff, and maybe only explain things as they become relevant. Caring about a laundry list of armor features and superpowers isn't easy for a reader, when we can't see how they affect a story yet.
| Kailyn Molyneux chapter 4 . 12/3/2012
I higly enjoy this fiction, the only thing that I find quite strange to read about is when you write about the areas because I know every place you speak of... ._.
| CriticQuality chapter 9 . 10/22/2012
Ok I read up to chapter 9 so I'm going to stop. I have quite a few points to make that I honestly think you have to improve on. I'll start with the good points: good characterisation, good grammar, good diction, good structure. Syntax is fine.
Now this is what I find extremely lacking in this story:
It's incredibly boring and straightforward. Ive had to push myself to even get to this point in the story. There is zero reason for me to continue. Not to mention Kim is severly over powered to the point where your explanations no longer make any sense or add any kind of interest. They just seem like a catalyst for Kim to achieve a very straightforward goal.
Another point, you are over explaining and over complicating things. Wades inventions,
Kims over powered super powers, Shegos super powers, it's just become ridiculous.
Structure, I'll give you points for since that's hard to find on here. Plot interest and depth? Sorry but that's honestly something you need to work on. This story is WAY to linear.
| Lunamagi chapter 1 . 8/29/2012
interesting. So you've put kim in my land? Very good. You deserve some poutine and a review.
| Akiho Tonoshi chapter 19 . 8/16/2012
awww! i can assume the vortex is a rip in space, maybe even time, would love to see where it sends them.
for a guy you says he cant write romance, you do a pretty good job.
anyways please write the sequel soon!(i see a preview!)
| Akiho Tonoshi chapter 13 . 8/15/2012
ok. i have to put up a little rant here. ARE YOU STUPID! put the dam thing onto drakken's head and make HIM WORK FOR YOU! god dam! really? how can you NOT SEE THAT! GAHHH.
| Alexis Serrath chapter 20 . 8/11/2012
Add me to the list. It's about time realize that it's quality is in it's skilled writers and the quantity of writers making it a one-stop shop of sorts. If it continues to wipe out quality stories due to some misguided prudish belief that children who can go to literotica no problem will be FOREVER SCARRED! D: by a lemon need to get a reality check.
| ErnestTheGuy chapter 1 . 6/30/2012
so im assuming that is is completely Au? i like it so far. interesting.
| chiaki chapter 20 . 6/16/2012
hey if I don't have a account, how I can help?
| Noonz chapter 19 . 5/23/2012
This was such a great story, I literally died with all they emotional stress they were going through and boy did I hate Drakken by the end of this. I now wait not so patiently for the new story following this.
| alichi chapter 13 . 7/10/2010
Uh, I haven't finished reading this fic but that scene with blueboy here at ch 13 just screams 'idiotic decision'. They are thieves, martial artists, in the same room as a crippled blueboy. The very knowledge that a cure exists should simply spur them to take it from him instead of give up. If he breaks the vial, simply force him to make a new one.
With that mental connection they could just time a distraction by one of them together with the other one moving fast and knocking him out.
I haven't read past ch13 yet and don't know yet what you will do to fix this but so far it just screams of 'idiotic plotdevice', with a lot of focus on the 'idiotic' part. These kinda scenes kill the joy of reading a fic. It sure killed the joy of reading this story.
Anyway, loved the fic until this part, will continue reading some other day if just to see how you fix this situation.
As for thoughts on the other chapters (1-13). I'd say you have too much happening too quickly. Seriously, long day, night chase, talking, sparring, museum breaking, sparring, fighting, breaking into Drakens lair and then the idiotic decision. No sleep and no true planning for the future, like where they will stay in the world, getting Kims stuff from her apartment before GJ comes after her, securing Kims money before she becomes a wanted criminal or anything like that. You just kinda have them living in the moment, and thats totaly not professional (master thieves should know to think things trough) or smart.
| Me chapter 19 . 4/19/2010
Holy tomato! That was crazy good, I'll be waiting for the sequel for sure :D