|Reviews for Secrets in the Past|
| witchs jade chapter 11 . 9/12/2008
cant wait for next ch.
beautiful cliffies by the way
| FmaFan10 chapter 11 . 9/11/2008
oh! soo good! please update soon!
| Varietygirl9143 chapter 11 . 9/11/2008
Woo! Someone who can help them! Maybe they'll get something done now :)
| Jenn Hoffmann chapter 11 . 9/10/2008
Hello! I'm glad you've FINALLY updated! Yay! I think this story has potential. It was a pretty well-written chapter, but there were still a few mistakes, mostly punctuation-wise. But, keep up the good work! And please udpate soon!~Jenn
| Varietygirl9143 chapter 10 . 2/18/2008
Cool story so far! But you can't just leave me with a cliffie. D Update soon please!
| Registered Nerd chapter 10 . 2/13/2008
Once again you just continue to amaze me with your witty humor and awsome story line! I caught up in one night and had forgotten alot but now, rivited once again I cant wait for the next chapter! I hope we don't have to wait as long for the next chapter!
| Jenn Hoffmann chapter 10 . 2/10/2008
Sorry I didn't get back to you in time! I really wanted to work on the chapter for you, but I was out of town for the weekend. :/ But, this chapter was pretty good! Please update soon!~Jenn
| sarahyyy chapter 10 . 2/8/2008
A CLIFF! It was just getting interesting when you cut it off! *pouts* But anyway, I love this chapter to bits. I'm glad Draco decided to help her. He could have gotten her killed for all he cared. :D
| witches jade chapter 10 . 2/8/2008
| Hermione727 chapter 10 . 2/7/2008
keep writing!1! write more, write more! and where, my lovely friends am I thanked in this story...I have been the one to motivate you and keep you writing :P lol love ya...WRITE MORE!
| MYgaara-MINE chapter 3 . 8/12/2007
wow this is pretty original ive never read a fanfic with a plot like this
this is cool
| FmaFan10 chapter 9 . 7/19/2007
wow, this is good! ooh cant wait for the next update!
| KGSoprano chapter 9 . 6/16/2007
I like it! Really lovely
| Recipe chapter 1 . 6/15/2007
The story has potential in plot, I think. It could be manipulated excellently and, through dialogue, you portray the characters rather nicely. The light humour is enjoyable.
However, the story is lacking in description, thoughts, emotion, and visual aid (which can be categorized under description). At minimum, the third person omniscent point of view could describe the hatred between Hermione and Draco in more than just dialogue.
For instance, when Hermione discovers that Draco is the Head Boy, she would not exactly be so accepting as a quick, "Get over it," because chances are she's going to be just as sore as Draco about teaming up with an enemy with mutual feelings of hate shared between them. You could describe her as shocked and speechless before the shock developed into a horror and fury, with her fist clenching as she grounds out her words or something. Harry as well should likely be disappointed in himself for not receiving Head Boy and not meeting up to his father's footsteps, unless an explanation (such as Harry turning down the badge due to having too much on his plate) is given.
The ratio of the dialogue to the remainder of the story is in favor of the dialogue, so for future chapters, you might want to cut down on the dialogue or add in more descriptions and feelings. For instance, when boarding the Hogwarts Express, you might suggest that Hermione is "excited and anxious to start her final year under different circumstances as she boarded the familiar train once more. She paused at the alley as she looked down the rows of compartments with students of all heights bustling up and down, shouting for their friends or simply and meekly trying to find a seat while pushing their luggage around. She hesitated as she realized the next time she boarded the train would be her final one..." and continue like so, and describe colors such as "the familiar red plush seats" and "walked past that door that slid open with extreme difficulty that still hadn't been fixed over the past three years."
Basically, the plot you've got going is great, but you really should flesh out the story more to have it come to life. The characters are flat and shallow as of now, but that can be easily fixed. Other than that, nice. XD
| Snow-Leopard-Patronus chapter 9 . 6/12/2007
Whoa, really cool story! I'm a pretty recent Dramione fan and this is really good. Love the plot and everything!