|Reviews for Geared|
| Baeraad chapter 4 . 4/14/2006
M... the beginning was a little confusing, mostly because I still don't entirely get why Jan up and fainted at the first mention of her grandfather. Also, I'm not sure about the POV switch. To me, it breaks the flow of the story and seems to serve no purpose.
Just my opinion, of course. :)
After that, it got good. The ELI sounds interesting, and I'm especially curious what Mal's relationship to it was - not the one he claims, I can bet on that. ] All in all, well done.
| Baeraad chapter 3 . 2/15/2006
Yes, this is what I meant. Good job. The only thing I found that I didn't like was:
"Mal quietly admitted to himself that he would settle for a last known location if the woman proved unreasonable. The former Agent had more than one way to find people that would be useful to him, after all."
If you plan on having Mal use his people-finder skills later, it'll really be more dramatic if they're revealed at the time instead of pointed out in advance. And if he's not going to use them in the story, the tangent is kind of redundant.
Just my thought. Otherwise everything was fine. :)
| Baeraad chapter 2 . 1/20/2006
Again, well done. I love the way you talk about magic in such a relaxed way - to Mal, making tea and pulling a pad out of thin air would of course be equally everyday activities. ]
As I said before, though, you might want to sprinkle in some... well, not information, necessarily, if you don't want to. But hints, at least. Give the reader's brain something to work with, that's my suggestion. :)
| Baeraad chapter 1 . 1/20/2006
Very good start. Definitely establishes Mal as a man with an eventful past.