Reviews for No World For Heroes
machievelli chapter 1 . 7/28/2013
Posted 2 December 2012, at and the Coruscant Entertainment Center in my The Critic's Two Cents. I was posting directly to the actual story threads, but my computer went down for the second time in six months with a virus in June of 2012. Then in November kotorfanmedia went down for reasons unknown, so I was stymied in my attempts to post the reviews. I had waited for it to revive, but you on deserve your reviews.

Some of the work I read is what I consider worthy of a professional. These are marked as Picks of the Week. While they are posted on I am adding the best of the week where applicable.

Pre KOTOR at the end of the Mandalorian Wars: The final meeting between Revan and the soon to be Exile

The piece needs sight editing, in the first chapter you use reigns (rules) instead of reins (control devices for a riding animal) for example.

The concept is interesting, rogue Mando'a acting without sanction to continue fighting, and our Exile, not yet bereft of the force confronting what Revan is becoming. The idea that one death is the straw that broke this camel's back is interesting. A lot is not explained here; how Bao-Dur survives, and what is to follow. Of course I only had a chance to read the first of 22 chapters, and this is one I think worth coming back to if I ever find the time.

Pick of the Week
TheLostGranger chapter 22 . 6/15/2011
All I can say is... magnificent. You have written a story that gets at the heart of two of KotOR's central characters, the Exile and Atton, and fleshed them out perfectly. Your description of Elori and what effect her Force-wound would have on her- with the benefit of description, as opposed to a video game- was both terrifying and amazing.

I am not certain if you are aware of this fact, but your fic has been recommended on TV Tropes. All of the fics that are recommended on that site are quality works, well-written and very entertaining.

There were a few spacing problems, but they were few and far between, and certainly not enough to detract from your story (unlike far too many fanfics). I was slightly confused by the attack on the Temple, but I guess that could still be fit somehow into canon. Elori meeting and talking to Atton would have raised some problems for KotOR II, though. Wouldn't Atton have recognized Elori right off the bat? I may have missed an AU tag on this fic, but it was so well crafted that it could be considered its own entity. Keep up the amazing writing, and look for critiques of some of your other works!
AuronKae chapter 22 . 9/6/2009
Love the story, wish you could've gotten over a 100 reviews! I'll start reading a sequel soon. :)
LaniZion chapter 22 . 9/19/2007
It took me almost two weeks, but I finally managed to read through all 22 chapters of this fiction. You may of well have had this published...this is an awesome fiction! Wow. I was completely taken away by the way your words molded so seemingly into each other, and all the characters that were introduced had such distinct personalities.

Again, awesome fiction! This is definitely one of my favorites!
Kendoka Girl chapter 10 . 4/17/2007
Great intro to Korriban.

"his Sithfulness" - LOL! Very good. Great characterization of Jaq. I like how he contrasts with what we see in KOTOR II.

The confrontation between Yuthura and Jaq was excellent, full of tension and drama.
Kendoka Girl chapter 9 . 4/6/2007
I'm getting some great advice from Bald as Malak and I'm hoping it helps my input as well.

I always hate making character comments as I'm a firm believer in various interpretations, so this is merely my opinion. I thought Master Vandar seemed somewhat out of character at first. He struck me as much more serious. I was also once told that he doesn't speak like Yoda either.

Good portrayal of Bastila. It really brought out her character. Her trepidation at the mission was well done.

Mataki is really developing as a character. Her interaction with Kepp and Javin really flesh out the story. You reveal her inner thoughts in a way that makes me feel what she feels.

The final scene really topped it off. You have a great sense for action. The fight flowed well, wove in good tactics, and used excellent descriptions.

Great chapter.
Kendoka Girl chapter 8 . 4/2/2007
Great chapter. The action is tight and the OC's add a real depth to the story and are well fleshed out. Uthar and Yuthura came along nicely and your take on them is everything I imagined.
Kendoka Girl chapter 7 . 3/28/2007
Hi again,

Great opening. I'm really enjoying Elori's travels. The Bith musician was a nice touch as was the psychological discussion.

I have to admit a love of Ewoks, so the Endor setting is great.

The conversation that Elori had was very heartfelt. I loved how she used the alias and said that she was dead. The backstory filled in a lot of detail too.
Kendoka Girl chapter 6 . 3/22/2007
The post exile scene was excellent, culminating in the non-ignition of the lightsaber, which was well done.

I thought the transition back to Mataki was a bit abrupt as were some of the other scene transitions. I did like how she dumped the robes in a dumpster. That was fitting.

I think you hit Jaq's personality right on. He has that suitably roguish feel.

Great descriptions of Nar Shadaa. I could feel the grime and desperation. The fight scene was well done. My only comment on that would be the POV.

Great job and a rich tale.
Kendoka Girl chapter 5 . 3/15/2007
This was a great chapter! The exile scene was gripping and intense. The interaction between Elori, Kavar, and Atris brought out a wonderful dynamic.
Kendoka Girl chapter 4 . 3/15/2007
I enjoyed this chapter as it built a lot of background for Revan. I also liked the take on Uthar and Sith philosophy, which I think hits the mark.

I'm by no means a grammatical expert, but a couple of things caught my attention -

“Oh, I heartily agree, my Lord.” smiled Uthar.

I was told to use speech verbs with dialog.

It's very minor, but I thought I'd bring your attention to it.

I love your take on Revan and his 'management' of the Academy.
Kendoka Girl chapter 3 . 3/12/2007
I really enjoyed the idea of a retreat to escape from the horrors of Malachor. You really tie this in well with the sequel and I'm getting a great sense of who Yura is. She has a very kung fu master mystique to her.

I can't think of any concrit here. Great work.
Lerolain chapter 22 . 3/11/2007
I've just read this from beginning to end and can I just say...

Bravo.

You counterbalance action and dialogue beautifully. Neither one takes centre stage, they complement each other well. And what dialogue! You have a way with phrases and even when you went into the deep and meaningful dialogue it was still clear.

I'm impressed with the ending in particular. I like it that you didn't go for a 'happy' ending with Atton and Yustan. I know that it's obviously over by the beginning of KOTOR 2, but you could have given in to the temptation of giving them just a few minutes of happiness. I like it that you didn't.

Just one thing - and I could be wrong about this and hold my hands up humbly if I am - is there a God in the Star Wars Universe? Occasionally your characters said 'My God', or prayed, and I think the devil got a mention too. I didn't think that these things were ever alluded to in Star Wars. It sounds very corny when I try to write it, but I thought they'd mention the Force instead. As I say, I could be wrong.

Otherwise, marvellous!

Bex
Dante-Raven chapter 22 . 3/8/2007
I can't believe it took me this long to read this and review. This was unbelievable and a perfect ending to this story. It's almost as if everyone has found some normalcy in their lives, yet at the same time, you end it off on a semi-cliffhanger that branches off into the unknown. I think it's a little safe to say this has branched out into the 'Alternate Universe' if it can be called that, but this was a really well written rendition of the Exile's journey inbetween and subsequent tale of her exploits. Great Job, Jord, I can't wait to read your sequel.
Kendoka Girl chapter 2 . 3/6/2007
Wonderful intro to the chapter. I loved the transition from bat to stew. The conversation around the stew was nicely done and had a real Dagobah feel to it. I also really enjoy your take on the Order and the 'outsider' view that comes from Yura.
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