Reviews for Coming Home
bookbelle.314 chapter 1 . 1/17/2011
I read the Telegram and thought that was the end, so glad I finally noiced this story. So glad Susan is a true Narnia again. Your writing is really good, worthy of C.S Lewis.
PicnicAtHangingRockGirl chapter 1 . 10/31/2010
"She was in a cold coffin under the ground, a meaningless epitaph written into hard stone above."

That really got Susan's pain across. Great work!
Eavis chapter 1 . 6/5/2010
Precious.
Rebekah chapter 1 . 7/10/2008
Ilove it!, but if you want to make it better write more!.

sincerely,

Rebekah

P.S. make sure she meets peter,edmund and lucy again!.
Phoenix2772 chapter 1 . 5/9/2007
Very good.

Lewis considered Hell a very real and possible destination for every human soul, and that he imaginatively consigned one of his own Narnia characters to it, after a fashion, is not an unexpected manifestation of the that. However, while one lives, it is still possible to say "what if" and even if Susan's re-dedication to the meaning of Aslan and Narnia comes in this form of conversion, that too is something Lewis believed in. It is nice that you have used the quirky genre of "fan stories" to express that hope.

In that regard:

You mentioned Virginia Woolf's quote about JA in your PM. The quote about Austen I agree with comes from Leo Strauss, who felt that Austen was a better writer than Dostoevsky because more consideration is needed to write a character that changes than one that fails. IOW, it is harder to write a transformation story than it is to write tragedies. Pride and Prejudice is the best example of Austen's ability to write a transformation story with a plausible psychological trajectory. Transformation vs. Tragedy is at the heart of Western Literature, at its best. Characters must overcome a defining flaw or else, in Elizabeth Bennett's case, her own pride.

Further up and further in, then.
Anonymouse chapter 1 . 1/12/2007
Very good!
DaveLoneRanger chapter 1 . 10/22/2006
I found this story via The Lion's Call, which was featured on the Dallas Morning News.

Let me start out by saying, wow. The style does not follow Lewis's style, so it doesn't hearken back to elder days in my mind like Lewis did when he wrote. It has a more contemporary, modern feel.

But it's still a great piece. In fact, if one does the calculations, Susan could conceivably be alive today, as an older woman.

I've always been interested in Susan's departure from the story in The Last Battle, and wondered how it would have been like for her. I believe Lewis wrote at some point that "Susan's story is not finished." (How tragic that Lewis's story finished before hers did!)

But I really like how you fleshed out the story of Susan afterward. The emptiness of having all whom she holds dear being ripped away from her. The shame and sadness of having left Narnia behind her. Of her regret over her overly eager leap from childhood to obtain an inflated idea of adulthood. The longing for the family dynamic that got pulled away from her. It's those things that I didn't consider long enough for them to occur to me.

In many ways, that image is something a lot of people can identify with today.

Here are a couple of suggestions.

One, that you make it longer if possible. Don't drone on if you can help it, but make it a better story. Perhaps, perhaps you can even begin with the description of her sadness and emptiness, of her regret and longing, without revealing who it is! You may have a harder time finding an audience without mentioning that it relates to Narnia, but still, it might be a better story device.

While everyone wants to read of something like it, I know few people who are given such a gift as the experience you write of Susan having, some vision or dream to help them carry on through the pain. Then again, I don't believe Lewis had "real life" in mind when he wrote the books.

Fantasy is about a taste of what everyone longs for. The outside-of-the-ordinary is perhaps the heart and soul, the thing that makes the story so bittersweet.

Good writing.
Marta chapter 1 . 10/20/2006
This is such a beautiful story! I've just finished reading it, and there were tears in my eyes. I cried with Susan Pevensie. Beautiful writing!
ChabeMica chapter 1 . 10/13/2006
Very touching story...I really like it!

It is a very good tale about how Susan can redeem herself and go back to Narnia...

See ya and keep it up!
I Heart Narnia chapter 1 . 10/10/2006
Thank you so much for this ff. This is so great, I always wanted to know what anyone thought would happen to Susan after the Last Battle; its mystery worried me because I never considered her coming back to Narnia Queen-ness. This fanfiction gives me that warm, fuzzy feeling! Thank you so much!
Lady Rosebud of Narnia chapter 1 . 10/9/2006
That was splendidly done! It makes me feel so much better every time I think about the Last Battle. I love the way you portray Aslan. Just like Jesus; always watching over us, always there for us even if we've turned our back on Him. Just as Aslan gives Susan strength, peace, and hope, so will Jesus if we will just call out to Him and ask Him to come into our lives and be our Savior. Sorry, I didn't mean to write a sermon, but it's what came to my mind as I read your wonderful story. A fitting end to a great trilogy. -Lady Rosebud
queenlucythevaliant chapter 1 . 10/9/2006
Wow that was really great, I read your first fanfic and by the time i was done i was bawling!
trecebo chapter 1 . 6/5/2006
And we have her understanding! Excellently done, I must say. No easy fix, only a crack and the light is shining in, leaving her to 'bear it well.' This is a nice closure to the trio of stories. Not a trilogy, per se, but a trio fits quite nicely, methinks.
Andi Horton chapter 1 . 4/26/2006
Oh . . . *soft, admiring sound*

I can't believe I missed this one. When I first came to the Narnia section I thought I looked over everything, but somehow this one got by me. I can't imagine how, though- it's so perfect. It's almost exactly how I pictured Susan's return, and it felt so GOOD to read it. I have such a silly smile on my face, now- thank you so much!
InactiveNotUsed chapter 1 . 3/24/2006
And the trinity is complete! And we don't get a silly, sappy ending - we get something genuine and real. We get a conversion experience which is entirely realistic.

I absolutely love the way Susan's redemption is highlighted by what had happened to her other siblings, especially Edmund. Her seeing the parallels between the two of them is especially good.

I also like very much the way Susan shifts from asking "Why did Aslan abandon me?" to "Why did he let me forget him?" She realises her own guilt in this, and - almost - refuses to accept redemption.

Almost.

But, then the Lion comes along and does what he does best. I think the imagery of hearts of stone is well-used (it is both Biblical and Narnian) but I think you could get away with doing a shade more with it, making more of the point.

And she doesn't die or anything at the end - she carries on and it makes perfect sense!
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