Reviews for The Finals Straw
Reader101w chapter 1 . 7/20/2010
Another strong story,

You did great with the emotional scenes, and I can see how even Debra would break down under that.

I'm getting more an more curious on what Debra's past held, and what Phase III will be. guess I'll have to read on.

keep up the good writing,

reader101w
HeavyMetal84 chapter 1 . 1/25/2006
Looking forward to when u Out.
Goinghome chapter 1 . 1/25/2006
Excellent episode! I love your description once again of the Upperton campus and the lifestyle! Your description of the clock tower reminded me so much of the University of California, Berkeley campanille clock tower. The main difference between your description and the campanille is the campanille has an elevator that allows visitors up to above the clock room to an observation floor which has a centrally located carillon. I can put myself into your story so easily and visualize all of the action going on. Many times, I'm able to imagine myself into your story because of the vivid picture you paint. I love your writing about finals and the hubbub and crazy studying/cramming it produces. I did the same, but for the reason of there being too much to study and limited time to absorb the material. You hit a good point about Kim getting awesome grades in high school, but doing O.K. in upper scholastic work and not feeling pressured over it. Many high schoolers do get trapped into that dilemma, yours truly included. You have really evolved the character of Debra. I used to remember her as smart, tough, and independent. Later, you showed the hard working, caring, and loving character of her. Now, you have shown a sensitive and vulnerable character that can be hurt and needs help. You have shown her to be a well disciplined and enduring person, yet everyone has their limit as your story has conveyed through her undisciplined upburst at the end. Despite her japanese upbringing, everyone does have a breaking point. I feel for her as her friends do also at this time. I happen to know some friends who have had their past catch up with them(some Japanese, some Oriental, etc.). You really do a great job of showing how good Debra's friends are. George Castle is something! When you mentioned Master Shimizu and something about Debra returning to Japan, you reminded me of Hitler when he was trying to get Marlena Dietrich, a well german singer, to return to Germany. Did he try doing something bad, I don't remember exactly. I did notice some misspellings and wrong tenses, but your story still came through loud and clear. Your stories to date have been awesome and well thought out. I notice you do have a small circle of dedicated friends, Kim, Ron, Rufus, Debra, Felix, George, Monique, and Loretta. I'm impressed with them being stuck together throughout their university years to date. Any thoughts of increasing this circle of friends with other characters? A successful run through the higher academic life can be done with a small circle of friends, but it's actually better with a bigger circle. Just a thought. A very heartbreaking, but touching episode. Looking forward to your next update. One more thought, you mentioned the Drakken War. Any thoughts of updating what has happened to Dr. Drakken and Shego or any of the other villians and are they getting any further involvement in Kim's life, even from a non-criminal standpoint? I know you do want to focus more on Kim's academic life, but just a thought. Great job once again! Looking forward to your next writing!