|Reviews for The Real GX|
| D-Rider chapter 2 . 6/21/2008
Yeah; don't you believe that Raven's Feather Duster is a bit TOO powerful of a card? I mean, they jumped up on Harpies Feather Duster years ago, yet your character pulls out a mixture of Harpies & Gryphon's (which destroys ur spell/traps yet u get the increase of life).
Sorry it seemed rude or anything, but that was more the Duelist in me talkin instead of the author.
| Reanna Morton and Aeryk chapter 5 . 9/28/2006
Yay! More chapters! *franticly reads and giggles* o.o; o Elemental Dragons... hey that's me! O_O Roar for Ruin! Okay... I envy all of these reveiws, how come I can't get that many? *pout*
| Cager of Dreams chapter 5 . 4/22/2006
when do I appear?
| Tim VanSciver chapter 4 . 4/19/2006
Yay It updated!
| Mavrik Zero chapter 4 . 4/15/2006
pretty cool origanal cards. the next chapter sounds intresting hope u update soon
| Cager of Dreams chapter 4 . 4/15/2006
Um when will I come in?
| Mavrik Zero chapter 3 . 4/13/2006
good chapter cool new cards can't wait to see what happens next
| King Dragun chapter 2 . 3/22/2006
I believe that Raven's Feather Duster was my creation. Please give me proper credit for it. Otherwise, this is an interesting fanfic, implementing Duel Academy into the real world.
| Sdrive chapter 2 . 2/15/2006
Sdrive: Sorry for the late review. Anyway, there was some mispellings and such but nothing too bad. I only really caught when you spelled Character without the H. You're story is going really fast, and actually reminds me a lot of mine. Just the first half though. The only reason I say this is because in the real show, three students do not sit up on a stage during the opening ceromony, in fact there is no big speech at all, it's a dorm thing where you all go eat meals. Having three students sit in front of an audience was something I changed to make my story more original, but it's fine that you used it. You're putting too many breaks with too little happening in between them. The whole part with Tim wondering if he got her message was really not needed till later on before they all arived. It could have gone something like, "He stands there thinking, 'hmm, I wonder if she got my message. Five minutes pass before Cynthia and Marie arive, 'I was waiting for you.'" I didn't use the exact words but I was just going off memory. Anyway, the story does seem to go really quick. Marie says, "Oh yeah, someone wanted to see you in the obleisk arena." without ever mentioning it was for a duel. When they get there tim was like, "it took you long enough" and then they both start dueling. The problem here is, it could have been someone just wanting to talk and felt like meeting in the Obelisk Arena. I think it would have been better if Cynthia said, "Hey, I made it didn't I? Why did you want to see anyway?" And then Tim says, "Because I want to duel you!" Instead it's just assumed that it they are going to duel. The duel was pretty quick, but creative. 40 pointers tend to end quickly. I can barely even write a 40 pointer without it ending quickly. The story is good. This is just constructive critism, it's better than someone coming up saying, "This story sucks" and not telling you why. I don't think your story sucks, I think it has a lot of potential, but like I said, you need to add more detail and slow everything down and don't assume the reader is going to know what is going to happen. Readers truely love it when they get surprised. Have you seen Lucienshadowmasters review's for my story? He is dying to figure out who Ami is because I've kept her so mysterious. People love a good mystery, and they love not knowning what's going to happen next. An even better way to do this for your story than what I said earlier is this.
"Oh yeah, someone wanted to talk to you in the Obelisk Arena. They said that you should be able to figure out where the arena is so it was a safe bet to talk there." Marie says.
"Alright, I'm on my way!" Cynthia says before stopping. "Where exactly IS the obelisk arena?"
Marie sighs, "Follow me."
At the arena Tim is waiting for them impatiently. "I've been waiting here for five minutes. Did she even get my message?" Another five minutes later Cynthia and Marie arrive. "Took you long enough."
"I made it didn't I?" Cynthia asks back. "So, what did you want to talk to me about anyways?"
"Actually rookie, that whole wanting to talk to you was just a way to get you to come. What I really want is a duel!"
Sdrive: Something like that might throw the reader for a loop, and go, "whao, didn't expect that!" Not all people think that way, but they'll see that Tim tricked Cynthia and that it's at least a surprise for the character. So, don't give up. Like I said, it's got plenty of potential. Work hard on it and it can be something you can truely be happy with. Good luck and I can't wait for the next update.
Power to the Hikari's
(P.S. Sorry for going Teacher on you there, I don't remember if I mentioned it in the last review but I want to be a Creative Writing Teacher so I usually give lectures in my Reviews lol. After all, the bottom of the Review box says, "It is extremely helpful to use this opportunity to comment on an aspect of the story that can be improved. A well rounded critique is often the most rewarding tool for the writer." And I hold that to be true. So, again, sorry for the Teacher moment.)
Power to the Hikari's
| Anonymous chapter 1 . 2/10/2006
O! _ YAY! HEEHEE I can't wait til the next chapter!
| Sdrive chapter 1 . 2/1/2006
Sdrive: I got bored and decided to check out reviewers of stories and see if they were any good. You were the first one to actually write YGO so I figured I'd check it out. Pretty nice start. I think the duels should be longer though. And I'm going to have to keep in mind that you use show cards, not real world cards, because I almost mentioned as a critizing thing that De-Fusion won't work on the Magnet Warriors. But now I'm just mentioning it as example, bleh, guess I just can't get away with correcting things like that, *slaps my face* don't do it. Anyway, I see you like to seperate authors notes and the actual story through the title just like Cyber Commander. I did find you through him after all. So, are the cards going to be as rare as they are in the show or are there going to be 85 Blue Eyes White Dragons floating around? Just curious. I guess I'll try to keep up with this story, looks promising enough. Well, keep up the good work.
Power to the Hikari's
| Cager of Dreams chapter 1 . 1/30/2006
i jion?If so send me a form via e-mail and I'll fill it out.
| Tim VanSciver chapter 1 . 1/28/2006
| Mavrik Zero chapter 1 . 1/26/2006
good start update soon
| Ancient Gear Golem fan chapter 1 . 1/26/2006
SWEET! Don't sto0p writing because several time people have good stories but then stop for no reason at all, so just keep writing alot!