|Reviews for Sacrifice|
| Cranberry Scoop chapter 1 . 11/1/2008
I like the plot.
However, I feel that:
1) You shouldn't need to explain your thought processes to the readers at the end of the chapter. The time it takes to explain could've easily gone into fixing those possibly confusing lines.
2) Also, I feel that you're trying to hard with your tone. I could be wrong, but it sounds like you used a thesaurus for a lot of those words.
3) Chill it with the commas.
4) Bold and italicize sparingly. Too much will slow readers down, and the emphasis will lose meaning.
Otherwise, it's a fine start. I've only read chapter 1, so for all I know, you could've improved by leaps already. ]
| FallenAngelsFeelNoLove chapter 6 . 9/8/2008
this is a great story! i cant wait till the next chapter! please update soon! D
| WhiperingXStringsXViolinist chapter 6 . 8/5/2008
i love this story and Tenten. But are u gonna have Tenten x neji together and sasuke x sakura get together bcuz im getin the feeling sasuke likes/loves her. PLZ UPDATE!
| nejitenfan chapter 6 . 6/16/2008
| BLAZE r e q u i e m chapter 6 . 6/12/2008
OMG! You updated! There were a couple of mistakes, and you should go over the fic and fix them.
| swartzvald chapter 3 . 6/11/2008
If you have to spend more time explaining how to read the story than on the story itself, you're probably doing somthing wrong.
| Matahari chapter 6 . 6/10/2008
Oh my... that was very dramatic. Looking forward to see Tenten again.
| Tanya Lilac chapter 6 . 6/9/2008
Firstly, just let me say that a year was definitely worth it. Pretty much anyone who says "hurry up and update", while I understand, should find something else to do. (Time paradoxically seems to fly by faster for a reader than the writer)
Secondly, I have not been on since forever; today's been the first in a while.
Thirdly, and finally down to business, I must reiterate that I love the way you write. Not only are you able to explore the lyrical quality of the English language, you also exploit its capacity to express and evoke emotion.
In regards to this chapter, I must finally confess to be a general Sakura-basher. More often than not, it's her lack of usefulness (i.e. her complete inability to fight someone a majority of the time) that annoys me to bits. Somehow, you've written her well enough to create sympathy and understanding, so more kudos to you. T
he "clarification" of the ensuing battle scene after the cliffhanger that was chapter 5 was, I hope, deliberately ambigious? Artfully done, in any case.
Neji's reverie was nicely integrated (I generally try to avoid flashbacks these days; they're a bit painful) and I loved the comparison between Tenten and Sakura; I think it was true to his character.
Loved the symbol of the reversed fool (the link at the bottom doesn't work!) and it brings to the fore, once again, that things are never as they seem on the surface.
Tenten's segment at the end was nicely captured; it was frenetic but not cliched. I liked the repetitive "tree line" that you kept throwing in; it framed her mind set perfectly.
(Again, I write too much. Sigh.)
In any case, take your time. Your work is amazing.
| Altais chapter 6 . 6/8/2008
I hope you don't mind I decided to read the whole story before reviewing.
Your writing is unique, and absolutely elegant. I was wondering if a fanfiction written like real literature existed.
And the way you write relationships slowly like an actual real-life one is beautiful.
I wish there were more fanfictions out there like yours
Keep up the good work!
| dreaming.sapphire chapter 6 . 6/8/2008
*_* Gah! I thought Tenten was the one that made it back. T_T No! Neji! Do something! But love it so far. XD
| Akemi chapter 6 . 6/8/2008
This is cruel, you update every six months or once a year! T.T Anyway though, great work, I love the plot
| HimeHeenim chapter 6 . 6/8/2008
Finally an update from you! Thank you!~
And I love every second reading this chapter. Beautifully written and the words describing Neji's feeling for Tenten is simply beautiful!~
Can't wait for NejiTen romance. After all that angst and frustration, they deserve it don't you think? *smiles*
Keep up the good work!And hope you can update soon~
| demoneyeskyo86 chapter 6 . 6/8/2008
you made me cried. this story always brings out very sad emotions from me, which is good because that's what i'm looking for when i read this fic. again, wonderful job. I especially love the tarot card idea, very well done. i guess i'll wait patiently for the next chapter.
| Vampyric Ninja chapter 5 . 4/13/2008
This is a very, very well written story. Beautifully written, in fact.
I have to admit that I was greatly put off by the hinted NejiSaku. I know that the pairing is supposed to be NejiTen, but...the NejiSaku seems to be better written than Neji and TenTen's relationship. I for one have a hard time believing that Neji would honestly want to marry someone like Sakura, but perhaps that is just my great dislike for NejiSaku speaking.
I also have a hard time thinking that Sasuke, who hasn't shown much interest in Sakura, would object to her marrying someone (I have a feeling he would like it), but I think that's just my dislike for Sasuke speaking.
However, TenTen's emotions are exceptionally written, and I am really intrigued by the storyline, so please take my review with a grain of salt. I look forward to your update...If it gets updated, because I'm aware that your last was a year ago. xDD
| BLAZE r e q u i e m chapter 5 . 3/14/2008
It's really good. You just take too long to update. I mean, come on! SEVEN MONTHS? Nu... -dies-