Reviews for Schatten
sunny chapter 1 . 2/18/2010
Hello Yami,

good story. I really enjoyed reading the first chapter and I surely will read the other ones too. I like stories with a promising plot.

But let me give you some german lessons:

Schuldig is spelled with g.

My little toy is: mein kleines Spielzeug.

And "meckern" is to bitch, an verb, but you ment bitch as nomen, so its "Schlampe", although its the female version.

With best regards

sunny )
MinervaEvenstar chapter 1 . 7/19/2006
Hmm...You know, I actually found this extremely interesting. Please write more!
yellingatthemonkeys chapter 1 . 6/14/2006
This was fun, I wish you would finish it!
Aki chapter 1 . 5/10/2006
Nice Story, but... sry your german sucks

Good day my little toy, how nice of you to come

German people didn't say 'toy' in these case. And your translation is to formal to fit Schuldig. Better would be something like:

Hallo mein Kleiner, wie schön von dir vorbei zuschauen.


How said to you that 'Meckner' means 'Bitch'? Oo

It would be 'Schlampe' or 'Hure' but both are just used for females. The male version is 'Stricher' but that dosen't match the situation. Better use 'Arsch' (ass) it's typical german _

Any other question concerning german, just send me a mail, I am german. (-)/
i love athrun chapter 1 . 2/17/2006
OneWingedAngel chapter 1 . 2/7/2006
I personally thought this was reall good. BRAVO, BRAVO, BRAVISIMO.
duo-no-micho chapter 1 . 2/2/2006
I still can't believe you managed to mix Hojo, Sephy, and Ni together for your villian, although combinded I think the world would run in fear. ;
Kabishen chapter 1 . 1/30/2006
I want turkey salmon and chicken ocean flavors keep me lickin'. _