Jesus. That was...God, that was beautiful. It's exactly how I want to write. Lord. Absolute perfection.

Wow, that was powerful. And beautiful! 3
A bit ambivalent at times, but mostly the metaphors were quite easy to follow, which doesn't make them any less awesome.
Great job!

Twisted and profound.

That was fascinating. Simply.. fascinating.

Clever and chilling.

Wow.

Beautiful language, haunting characterization; and I loved the way you used the chess game. Just... wow.

oh my god i am desturbed yet entraced. woah this was good :)

Impressive vocabulary, beautiful images, apropriate use of characters, little to no flaws.

The abstract trains of thought are hard to follow, such as when he's picking up the sword, but you've captured dream-thinking quite well, I think.

Overall, I give it a 9.8.

Bravo to you and kudos to your betas.

This is utterly fantastic. Great use of metaphor-probably the best on this site I've ever read.

Well done.

Incorporation of dreamscapes into reality was surprising but oddly entrancing, the exploiting of loopholes left in the original story was also well done- was this reality, dream, fantasy or hallucination? It seems vague, but it brings out a lingering, emotive feel to the story- a light tone, but a strong message buried within the words and a trace of the tragedy that this story portrays.

All in all, good work.

*gibbers & faves*

"Bitterness slipped into her voice: “But you, you, my dear Artemis, have some demons to face.”"

I thought I should review this -

Well, it's brilliant, but I think you got that from the beta job I did. I love it all, the layering, the iambic sections, everything. It's much more refined than anything I could manage. I'm a bit disappointed that you didn't do the spiral thing at the end that Sorry reccomended, but hey, to each his own. I envy your layering skills. It's just so... elegant. So few people notice the things you do with words, it's depressing.

I'm honored that you mentioned me at the bottom. Makes me go all warm 'n' fuzzy inside. :)

Anywho- I have your SGB story all edited. Email me when you want it (if you even use this email anymore)

Hey Nallasariel, long time no see.

I'm glad you reposted this. It's one of my favourite fics. It's even better now than I remembered, even though I've only had the chance to skim.

I was just wondering if I could archive it on Criminality (when we get our act together).

Are you getting back into AF fanfiction? I'd love to see more writing of yours. And, like, I'll go read that novel sometime too. Maybe.

Hoping you're well,

~ Yeti

Beautiful. Just beautiful. I can't even say...

Awesome. You blow my mind and it's more than worth my thanks to those you've mentioned, and to you. I bow.