|Reviews for The Princess and the Horse Lord|
| crhp chapter 34 . 10/3/2013
| Connectticuts chapter 34 . 2/3/2013
You should change the name of this story to The Princess and Elladan. Because a lot of Lothiriel/Eomer fans will surely be dissapointed when they read your portrayal of Eomer. I thought the first half of the story was well crafted and a joy to read. I was looking forward to see how Lothiriel and Eomer's love would grow and develop in spite of Elladan's constant interference. The story takes off in a different direction once we get to Lothlorien. Lothiriel cheats on Eomer without any hesitation, guilt or remorse. This doesn't strike me as normal behavior for someone who, just in the previous chapter appeared to be so smitten to the one she chose to be bound to. The other characters passively accept her behavior and she faces no real consequences for her actions. You could've thrown in a slap from the Shieldmaiden to defend her brother's honor at least, instead of having them carry on like best friends. Eomer looks foolish and is treated like a third wheel or an obstacle standing in the way of the lovers you obviously favor. They flaunt their love for each other at the tournament (at this point everyone knows what is going on between them). Then you have Elladan knocking him off his horse and giving him a concussion. Eomer takes this all in good stride. When he offers Lothiriel an out, she doesn't take it. She claims she loves him and they kiss right I front of Elladan. Though her thoughts are with Elladan she literally turns her back on him. How can he still love her for that? And how in the world can Eomer not hear how she pines for Elladan during their kiss. I am very curious how things will turn out for everyone. I know the ultimate goal is to get Lothiriel and Elladan back together but you need to give your heroine some moral scruples. More internal dialogue from Lothiriel would be nice so I know what motivates her and what to make of these choices she's making. Right now you have me scratching my head in horror.
| LalaithElerrina chapter 34 . 2/3/2013
Hello! After/While I read a story, I try to leave only positive reviews, or at least constructive criticism. So I'm not sure how to say exactly what I'm about to.
For positives: Your writing is well done. You definitely have a skill there!
For not so positives: By the end of the story, I no longer care about the characters. Lothiriel is flippant and selfish, and I find myself mentally begging Eomer to dump her. I lose respect for Eomer when he doesn't. Lothiriel is a hussy, Elladan is a cad, and Eomer is a weakling. I find myself no longer caring what happens to them.
Having said that, here is a bit of advice I try to give to as many fellow authors as I can:
Don't comletely disregard what readers have to say. Sometimes a reader can see something in a story that the author simply can't. (A strange phenomenon, but true.) At the same time, do not let criticism get you down. Keep writing.
| Shane McGowan Lives chapter 34 . 1/12/2013
As I wrote before (not too long ago at all!), you have written this very well, and made the characters very much more easily related to for modern readers. This story came after a string of events that aroused more poignant emotions and associations than it otherwise would have, and I'm especially taken with how you write as if there were no apologies or need to excuse the actions of the characters, but rather present the action and continue through the consequences. Lothiriel's maturation comes quickly through the course of the narrative and everything is moreover done with great skill.
The only thing I found myself disagreeing with, though I was easily able to suspend my preconceptions through the story, was the way you presented the Elven manner of binding themselves to each other through declared intention and then consummation. From what I've read of Tolkien's works, the process of binding themselves as through marriage was done as you said and as I've repeated above, but I don't believe that binding was a conscious act done within the consummation, but in fact was consummation itself the binding. Your presentation of the Elves and distinguishing between both the family of Elrond and the other elves such as Legolas (a very nice blend of the movie and book versions I felt) made the entire thing better all round.
This story needed (or perhaps could use again) more of the Hobbits. With that said, I await eagerly your next installment.
| Shane McGowan Lives chapter 24 . 1/12/2013
I noticed the new chapter, and then read from the beginning to get back what I had lost from time, and I have to say I'm impressed with your writing here, mostly because of how angry I am with Elladan and Lothiriel, though mostly with Lothiriel. I can't help but think of how lightly she seems to hold her betrothal with Eomer, even with the effects of Lothlorien's timelessness and the feeling of being a world apart; or if she doesn't hold it lightly, how utterly unready she was at all for what she's developed with either him or Elladan. Where before she struck me as a wilful young woman, now she strikes me as a wilful child who doesn't have the first clue as to what love is at all. Where before I pitied Elladan, all that has transferred to Eomer and I must confess an antipathy for Elladan, despite his past. He's knowingly seduced and bedded a young naive girl, the fiancee of a king (even if she did return to Eomer, what of the chances of her infidelity bearing fruit?), because he desired her. I wouldn't say they made love here. The site's posting rules won't let me type what I feel they've done.
I apologize if I've gone on about something of no consequence (it's fiction, after all, and fanfiction on top of that), but my reason and excuse is that I am reading this on the tail of circumstances that touch upon this theme of trust, promises, and self control in my own life.
| shine lots chapter 34 . 1/10/2013
Heart breaking for all three of them. :'(
Oh Lothiriel, you *****.
| Glory Bee chapter 34 . 1/7/2013
Glad you are continuing with this. I still struggle with Lothiriel's infidelity, she certainly has her flaws of character at least, if not in beauty. Eomer continues to be very forgiving, I hope that now she has made her choice that she is faithful to Eomer and has little contact with Elladan, who likely won't find her nearly as attractive at the time of Eomer's death. Be nice if he found a lovely elleth that he loves much more than he ever loved Lothiriel and that they would find happiness in Valinor.
| Lialathuveril chapter 33 . 9/26/2012
it's nice to see you have not abandoned these two altogether. I hope life is treating you well.
| Glory Bee chapter 32 . 5/29/2012
What a surprise to see a new chapter Oshun! I truly thought this had been abandoned. I really hope you will write a story for Elladan where he finds the love of his life, even if that is in Elvenhome. Elrohir needs a nice elleth too. :)
| aturnofthepage chapter 31 . 3/18/2012
This story is really well crafted. The language and characters are very engaging. My only complaint is how lon it's been since the story was updated. Hopefully a chapter is coming soon.
| mahlee chapter 31 . 9/26/2011
would love an update for christmas! ;)
forgotten how good this story is
| shine lots chapter 27 . 8/24/2011
"I do know what that is like. I once rejected an Elf I idolized, who was much older and wiser, and glowed with the light of Aman. Unfortunately, at that time, I had not a young lover to take his place. says Arwen.
Am I getting once upon a time Arwen-Glorfindel vibes? lol Nice reference to the Silmarillion!
| shine lots chapter 26 . 8/24/2011
I'm not sure I like Galadriel's informalness, but I suppose she can't always be resrved and aloof.
"I want to know it all—the inspiring as well as salacious."
What did you mean by salacious? Did you mean scandalous or did you really mean salacious?
| shine lots chapter 4 . 8/22/2011
What, uh, oh dear. Do you allude to Shakespeare? Please don't tell me that this story is a tragedy like Henry V. For despite sharing multiple traits with King Henry as Éomer does, I would like Eomer to find fulfiling love.
| shine lots chapter 3 . 8/22/2011
I enjoy how you keep your language similar to Tolkeins. Your vocabulary is very large.
"garrulous", "perspicacity" lol I'm impressed.
You describe Eowyn exactly how I imagine her. "It was hard for Lothíriel to imagine her as the shield maiden of Edoras who brought down the Lord of the Nazgúl, so self-pitying she could seem at times. "