|Reviews for Little Piece of Heaven|
| sailormoonie17 chapter 11 . 3/18
So I think you're a great writer! I see it's been a while since you've published this, so I'm sure you've only gotten better since then, too. You write fight scenes clearly, you have a pretty good and original plot line (for example, I probably should've seen this coming but I was surprised when Orochimaru and Kabuto came after Sakura so soon and how they used that family), and I like the humor you have sprinkled throughout.
However, there was one thing that kept bothering me more and more as I read. I was kind of disturbed by your characterization of Sasuke and (to a lesser extent) Sakura. Don't get me wrong, I liked Sakura as a character, and I think Sasuke is realistically portrayed as someone seriously traumatized by his time with Orochimaru. But what you seem to be saying is a romantic relationship (between Sasuke and Sakura) just seemed like an abusive, obsessed one. I noticed more and more how:
1. *Sasuke put Sakura down* ("Forget it," Sasuke growled. "She's not up to speed today. There'd be no point."- Chapter 5; "That's not it," he muttered darkly. "You shouldn't even go. You'd get in the way."- Chapter 6)
2. *Sasuke was possessive to the point of being threatening and treating her like his child* ("Well, it… it was Neji. He kissed me..." Sasuke's glare intensified "...on the hand. I was at his house this morning and then he… but I don't think—" "What were you doing there?”- Chapter 9; He scoffed. "You're my responsibility." Surprise illuminated her eyes before returning to their cold, calculating fury. "I never asked to be taken care of like a child…" she hissed. "I never asked you! Who the hell made me your responsibility?" "I did.”- Chapter 18)
3. *Sasuke was dictating her actions and forcing her to do things or not do things, not even taking no for an answer* ("It'll be dark," he assessed. "I'll come pick you up." "Huh? That's really not necessar—" "Just wait for me inside, Sakura." It was practically an order. And before she could defend her own independence, Sasuke was already off and on his way, clearly not willing to put up with any protests.- Chapter 9; She glared at him then; the fiery emeralds warning him against going any further with his actions. "I don't… expect you to understand…" she muttered quietly. His own black eyes narrowed in response. "Don't talk to me like that." With what little strength she had, Sakura attempted to push the stronger boy off, but she could only struggle against his sudden firm restraints. Nevertheless, it didn't stop her from letting her inner frustrations find relief through her vocal chords. - Chapter 18)
4. *Sasuke becoming more controlling and obsessive* (It was nothing at first: dismissed as curiosity. But slowly and surely, he had to know about anything and everything that involved Haruno Sakura. Where she was, when she'd be back, who she was with… he had made the effort to subtly find out the answers. If that didn't work, something inside him would snap, forcing him to blatantly demand an answer from the most reliable source.- Chapter 15; “Get off me, Sasuke…" growled a barely audible whisper. "I want to go home." "Yeah, well, we don't always get what we want.”- Chapter 19; “Don't argue with me. Holding that kind of information to yourself is a punishable offense, Sakura." Sitting up, she rubbed the back of neck irritably. "Okay, okay… I'll go with you then." "No," he stated simply. "You stay here, eat something, and go back to bed.”- Chapter 20)
5. *And finally Sasuke becoming physically violent and terrifying* (Sasuke hadn't given her any time to react before pressing his lips against hers. It was rather forceful to say the least, as if he expected her to escape and therefor had to trap her in place before she had the chance. His hands, gripping tightly at her forearms, kept her pushed against the tree, and with each millisecond that passed, he seemed to be pushing her harder and harder against it.- Chapter 19; She was now scared shitless of this man, yet there he was, holding her possessively in an abandoned alleyway trying to prove she meant something to him. It was hard to want to run and even harder to want to stay.- Chapter 26).
I know some people really like stuff like this, but I don’t think it’s ok to portray Sasuke and Sakura as having a desirable relationship, because not only is their relationship not loving, it’s not even romantic. It’s not even healthy.
www DOT helpguide DOT org/articles/abuse/domestic-violence-and-abuse DOT htm
www DOT huffingtonpost DOT com/entry/early-signs-of-an-abusive-relationship_us_588e6c63e4b06364bb1e2730
www DOT livestrong DOT com/article/105230-warning-signs-dangerous-obsessive-relationship/
(sorry, not sure if these will show up if I use the actual links)
There are plenty of really young people who have never been in a relationship who use fanfic to shape an idea of what they want (I used to be one of them), so I think it’s dangerous to show Sasuke and Sakura’s relationship like this. What I think would be really, really wonderful would be if you made a fic where Sasuke is (so, so understandably) traumatized and changed because of his quality time with Orochimaru and is, instead of being loved and “fixed” by Sakura, is encouraged by his friends to seek help before he begins a healthy relationship. It seems like you have the talent as a writer to pull off something so complicated and delicate.
Wow, so sorry this got so long, but I felt like evidence was needed and, as I’m sure you can tell, I feel really, really strongly about this! Also, looking at your other reviews, I see that I'm not the only person so see this trend. I think it's something you should think about.
| K chapter 5 . 3/8
Jeez, Sasuke.. He can be a proper a-hole. But I have to admit, he still cracks me up sometimes. I still like him.
And it's so cute that he cares about her and looks after her. I mean sure, he's been rude in times but he kinda was always looking after her, making sure she was safe and alright. Sorta. Lol.
And Neji... My oh my. I really like that you seem to be giving him a slightly bigger role in here, seeing as he's not usually one of the most mentioned characters in stories. But I like it, I like him.
Tbh, I like everyone, so I'll definitely be happy with whatever you're going to do :D
| K chapter 4 . 3/7
I don't know why the hell I waited 4 chapters to comment, I'm sorry, because THIS IS SO AMAZING!
I love your portrayal of everyone so far. And the way you write is pretty damn perfect. I love grown-up Sakura so much, okay, I generally love Sakura so what. And SasuSaku was my first pairing of Naruto ever and they just always stuck with me, whatever happened and even though I started liking other ships, they just have something very amazing. I love their story. (in general. Not really a fan of the ending. That could've been better. But whatever). And I am so glad that I found such an amazing story as yours dedicated to them! 4 chapters in, it's very very great already and I hope it continues like this *wink wink* I will definitely keep reading for now
| Sasusaku 69 chapter 26 . 2/19
Love this story
| TipsyRaconteur chapter 5 . 2/4
This is super sweet and is actually making me like Sasuke more than I already do, and it's pretty funny too! Neji is such a fun foil for him, although I like how you write Neji so much that I almost want to be on his team!
| Guest chapter 1 . 12/27/2017
¡BANG! It's AMAZING
| Kemi chapter 10 . 12/27/2017
Sakura: I made breackfast.
Sasuke: Good, go and eat it.
I know Sasuke is mean, but for some reazon I could not stop laughing at this!
| Kemi chapter 8 . 12/27/2017
JajajaI was not expecting that, but i suppose it is ...natural? Sasuke is a pain, and if he had ever done that, he would have done it that way, grumpy as ever!
| Taco Taco chapter 26 . 12/11/2017
I liked the story up until now, but this last chapter is a little uncomfortable. It's not rape yet, but it gets pretty non-consensual sounding towards the end there. She's terrified and says no so much and he doesn't stop touching or kissing her, and it's just kind of off-putting rather than romantic.
| Yesterday's Secrets chapter 26 . 11/18/2017
You know, you're one of the very few fanfic authors deadset on making sure that the characters stay in, well... character. Thank you. This has been a very good read; not brilliant, so to speak, but it's clear and not far-fetched at all - like, it's something that could've definitely happened in canon if the mangaka was being romantic. Lol. Hope you write more!
| Guest chapter 1 . 10/31/2017
I love it, thats all.
| LimitedEternity chapter 25 . 10/22/2017
Oh man I gotta say the heart wants what the heart wants but compared to Sasuke Neji really did everything right! But glad Naruto told Sasuke about himself.
| LimitedEternity chapter 23 . 10/22/2017
Tbh that punch was a long time coming. Like a looooonnngggg time.
| LimitedEternity chapter 22 . 10/22/2017
Well Sakura pinning him was satisfying. However the timeline for when Sakura got her door fixed and then moving in with him realtive to him following Orochimaru is a bit confusing.
| Yuya chapter 19 . 10/22/2017
Wow,once he made up his mind he really starting pushing for it huh. This should make for an interesting conversation in the morning.