the plot is very good. But you're use of past, present and future verbs lacks. You use way too many present tenses when you're supposed to use past tenses.

This is amazing. I have read every Jily fan fiction I could find and this one is so far my favorite. I can't wait to finish it.

Why would all muggles in England have "baseball" bats? They would be having cricket bats! Americans are so ignorant!

Nooooooooooooooooooooooooo
Why do you do this
Nooooooo
Why
Noooooo
I don't
Want
Them
To
Be
To-
-ge-
-th
-e
-r

Hi! I really really love the story so far!
I just wish that you talked about James playing quidditch cuz that seemed like a big part of his personality.
Thanks for writing! :D

Damn you! Damn you!
But thank you. There was some weird grammar, I won't lie. But overall, this was beautiful. I'm sitting here crying because I loved it so much, and hated it in the best way. Thank you, thank you, thank you for writing this. For writing them.

Your writing is really bad and confusing. You have no flow. Please stop for the sake of mankind. U fucking dimwitted silly girl

I absolutely love it! It's so captivating and it kept me on edge for days on end. I think you should turn this into a book for it gives a good description on how James and Lily came together. All in all, this is by far my favorite story! Great job!

Omg I absolutely LOVED your story! It was so sad yet brilliantly written. I write also (poetry not fan fiction) and I ADORE your writing stlye. Keep up the amazing work

Wokay!
You write real well!
Do you not have a story which has more romance and less action?

Holy freaking cow! I loved it so much! I know you probably don't read reviews or look at this anymore, but this was an amazing story! Loved it so much -with all of the laugher and tears that came along with it. Absolutely Wonderful!

YOU ROCK!
THIS IS INDESCRIBABLY AWESOME!

I just read your whole story in a matter of a few days. I am absolutely in love with it. It broke my heart, and it mended it. It made me want to throw my iPad against a wall but it also made me want to clutch it to my chest and never let go. You have the power to do amazing things with your words. Use them. They are an amazing strength, and you can move mountains with them. If you ever publish a book I will be the first one there to buy it. Hint hint. I do wish, however, that we would find out what happened to Lily's family. They sort of disappear after her Christmas with the Potters, and I would like to know what happened to them. I am following you and favouriting you and everything I can, please keep writing.

This was amazing (albeit a littlr confusing) I read the whole thing in 5 hours! Please write more Jily or Percabeth please please please! Love your writing :)

That was really, really, beautiful. Thank you. :')