Reviews for Harry Potter and the Summer he will never forget
AECM chapter 25 . 8/18/2014
Wish you would write more
Bcb chapter 3 . 11/24/2013
...
Pearlphin chapter 25 . 3/19/2013
Please continue you have potential with story!
Refreshingly Original chapter 25 . 1/31/2012
Oohh, this is an amazing fic! I hope you can continue with it.

Ro
GreenCanary chapter 25 . 8/6/2011
I like the begining a lot
TivalovercalledAbby.1997 chapter 25 . 7/24/2011
cool!
Helena chapter 25 . 4/24/2011
I absolutely love it and I can't wait to read more! Please update soon!
Lyra124 chapter 25 . 4/23/2011
Please update! That was... To Ron weasley's phrase: BLOODY BRILLIANT!
Riolyne chapter 5 . 2/26/2011
I'll start this by plainly stating, I've gotten to chapter 5 and I won't go farther.

I do enjoy the writer's license, meaning, whatever the heck the writer wants, the writer gets. If I want to change Snape into a character similar to Mrs. Weasley then no one can tell me not too. This being said, as of this moment, I like the storyline, so far. I have absolutely no problem with it.

Why I'm stopping, is the format, specifically, paragraph breaks. I don't consider myself to be a know it all in the english language written word, but I find it hard to read something on a screen when there is no consistant format. Its almost as if someone told you "You need to have at least 5 paragraph breaks" and you put five in(and in the correct places I may add).

It's not enough to put the words down on digital paper, you also have to think of the presentation of those words. Example: Is something being thought of and not spoken? if there is alot of thoughts then maybe I should put them in italics or use ' instead of " .

If someone else has already pointed this out, and this has changed or will be changed, due to getting a beta or whatever, as the chapters progress, then please respond to this review and I will be happy to continue reading.
Rosa Clearwater chapter 25 . 11/19/2010
Oh please continue this! I know it's been more than two years, but it sounds sooooo coool! Please please update again :(
LillyPheonix chapter 11 . 7/23/2010
Umm Confussing Chapter? Plus the grammatics, as well as format are also just as confusing. Is there a possibility of a re-uploading?
cyiusblack chapter 25 . 3/10/2010
update soon
young wiccan chapter 25 . 1/30/2010
Hm, I wonder what Moldy Voldy's planning now.

I love the idea of Minerva being like a mother to Harry
David305 chapter 15 . 8/24/2009
Hi!

I'm sorry for having been incomplete in my review, regarding the word "pronounce." I wrote:

(To pronounce means to say a word carefully with exaggerated enunciation or special accenting: "Be careful how you pronounce French words.")

I should have added:

"Pronounce" CAN also be used to mean, "Announce in an official capacity; confer an official sanction; proclaim" as in the phrase,

"I now pronounce you man and wife."

But it ought not be used merely as a synonym for the simple but effective "says" or "said."

Cheers,

David
David305 chapter 14 . 8/23/2009
You have an interesting story with good ideas.

I'd love to be able to recommend your story to others; but the way it is now, it's so burdened with errors and typos that it is unnecessarily difficult to read.

You urgently need to get a beta reader to do editing and repair for you. That will render the story far easier to read.

In my experience, writers don't believe you if you merely say, "You have too many errors." They can't see them unless they are pointed out. So observe:

"why are you the one interviewing my" me

"to snap Harry back o reality" to reality

"Minerva’s door deep doorbell rang" Minerva's doorbell rang

"more frightened then he thought" than

"He pulled his wand from out of his front pocket" He pulled his wand out from his front pocket

"HARRY 16th BIRTHDAY HARRY" "HAPPY 16th BIRTHDAY HARRY"

"the first genuine smile that had had created" that he had

'WOW" Harry pronounced' proclaimed

"Well were not getting any younger" Well, we're

"Fred pronounced." announced

"Mrs. Weasley pronounced" insisted

(To pronounce means to say a word carefully with exaggerated enunciation or special accenting: "Be careful how you pronounce French words.")

"They both said on at the same time." (delete on)

"pushed him into the seat that was comfortably seated" comfortably positioned

"and preceded to hand him" proceeded

"the other was one his baby hand" was on

"His parents smiles in that photo where the smiles" parents' ; were the smiles

"There was also a card that went along." went along with the present.

"to remember the feeling that they gave you." the feelings that they had for you

"but Fred and Georges screams of cut him off" but Fred and George's screams cut him off

"This only shot up Harry's suspicion" increased

"On the Kitchen counted" counter

"chocolate shavings surrounded" that surrounded

"Harry stared at the cake in AW" in awe

"I thought that that must inquire an actual cake" must require

"never seen this king, open side of McGonagall" kind

"sat at the dinning table" dining

"Small talk surrounded the house." filled the house

"Quiditch World Cup" Quidditch

"I was just wondering how what happened to Professor Snape." (delete how)

"to happen at you Aunt and Uncles house." your Aunt and Uncle's house

"with the crutatious curse" cruciatus

"Harry though did not take place in the conversation." did not take part

'at least for the meantime' at least for the time being

"look like Quiditch" Quidditch

"all of my friend were there" friends

"I miss him so mush" much

"he forcibly whipped away the stupid tears" forcefully wiped

You can come to me whenever, I’m here for you I hope you know that." should be

You can come to me whenever you need to. I’m here for you; I hope you know that,

"do some grammer checks" grammar

That only covers typos, spelling and usage. I did not include corrections of capitalization and punctuation, which would have more than doubled the list.

Many of these errors suggest not paying attention, or being an infrequent reader. Good writers are also good readers first. While your ideas are sound, their execution is not. All art depends on both essence and expression; conception and manifestation; both what you say and how you say it. You don't lack good ideas, but the follow-through needs help. However, if you lack the skills in spelling, usage, punctuation, grammar and phrasing, it is not only no shame to get help - rather, it is a sign of strength and wisdom.

I'd love to recommend your story to others! But until its stream of errors are fixed, I can't.

A good Beta Reader would have caught all these mistakes for you; heck, even Spell Check would have caught half of them! Betas are free, and they make authors look good. Let someone help you!

For details on how, why (and why not) to get a Beta, click my user-name, and see the short essays on my bio page.

Cheers,

David
165 | Page 1 2 3 4 .. Last Next »