Reviews for The Captain and I
I Need More Cowbell chapter 7 . 3/9/2006
I Need More Cowbell chapter 6 . 2/27/2006
Aw...that was so sweet! Great job! UPDATE SOON!
Tipperose chapter 5 . 2/18/2006
Hello raemie, I'm back to review and offer some new advice. While I still like the foundation of your story, the grammar and punctuation continue to severely lack throughout your writing. My advice to you would be to slow down, look at what you're writing. In this chapter alone I saw several areas where you've made mistakes. Such as you're not putting question marks at the end of questions. Like here:

" Ah Lisa , have you ever gazed upon a finer sight" asked Lady Georgina.

And here:

Conor toddled over. " What are you writting about".

Plus, it's 'writing' not 'writting'.

You've done this throughout the whole chapter. A writer masters basic grammar and punctuation in order to make a story come across in a credible manner. I would suggest in all sincerity that you take the time to check and recheck your work to be sure that it is correct. I know you're still learning and that's fine, just so you learn from your mistakes. I would be glad to help you anytime you need it, just PM me.

Feltonsgirl90210 chapter 3 . 2/10/2006

you're writing is getting better by every chap (but grammar is getting worse)

looks like you typed in a rush but still COOL! im at home with a crappy pain in my back so im going to miss the wholes valentines thingy today! damn!

oh and if "Tipper" reads this review would he/she please go and read my stories and offer any criticism needed because he/she offers brill advice! thanks


oh and heya GaryLovesPickles (haven't talked to ya in ages x8x8x)
Feltonsgirl90210 chapter 2 . 2/10/2006
tehe! love it! gonna read next chap now! x8x
AchtungBabyAchtung chapter 3 . 2/9/2006
hey! nice story, if a little conf. but who am i to talk (seriously - lots of whiny complaints) but i like it anyway. keep going! iz x
I Need More Cowbell chapter 3 . 2/9/2006
Good Job. Update Soon. Please let Lisa survive the sinking!
I Need More Cowbell chapter 2 . 2/7/2006
Good job, update soon! Please let Lisa survive the sinking!
Feltonsgirl90210 chapter 1 . 2/5/2006
ooh yet again i lurve it! btw what the feck do you buy for lads on Valentines Day! im so lost! help! YAHOO YOU USED "..." THINGEYS! YIPEE! LURVE YA BABE!

Tipperose chapter 1 . 2/5/2006
You have set a good foundation with the storyline, but you really need to work on the grammar and punctuation. You put quotation marks within the sentence, like this:

" I will give you time off". When we reach New York , you will live in my new manor". " This is a new start Lisa".

It should read like this:

"I will give you time off when we reach New York. You will live in my manor. This is a new start Lisa."

Or you could even reword it have it come out like this:

"This is a new start for you, Lisa. When we reach New York you will live me in my manor and you will have time off accordingly."

I would suggest that you work on those areas. Also, you're very choppy with the sentences and you rushed it along too fast. You should slow down a bit and put yourself in the shoes of Lisa. What would her reaction really be? Would she ask for time to talk it over with her family? Wouldn't her parents want to talk with Lady Georgina before letting their daughter sail halfway around the world? These are all improvement areas.

But, as I said, the foundation is good, you just need to pace yourself and work on the grammar and punctuation.