|Reviews for Independence of a Hero|
| Pathseekerme chapter 17 . 3/8/2013
OMG! A cliffhanger! This story is so good, I've read it in one sitting without stopping! Please, please write more!
| MathiasNightlord01 chapter 1 . 1/20/2013
Ok for this chapter I can honestly say that you had so many things go wrong.
For one the amount of Galleons Harry had to use last chapter was ridiculous. I doubt someone like Alastor Moody had 6000 galleon to spend on a trunk nor would he want to. Hell, a 1000 galleons was enough for Fred and George to start a business. 6000 would be enough for a wizard to live comfortably for at least a few years because it would be considered a small fortune.
According to JKR, 1 galleon equals 5 British Pounds Sterling which is equal to 7.93 U.S. Dollars. Using this formula here's what moody would have had to pay for his trunk with how you priced it.
6000 galleons equals 47,580 Pounds Sterling which converts to over 75,535.79 U.S. Dollars!
As you can see, the numbers show that the pricing for the trunk alone is ridiculous. I seriously doubt anyone would pay the equivalent of almost 80,000 U.S. Dollars for a Trunk with a few rooms. A single wide trailer in the U.S. Costs less than that at 18,000 Dollars! Add in all the other stuff you had him buy and you basically have him spending the equivalent of 178,681.17 U.S. Dollars in a day! Good God Man a person could live comfortably for at least up to five years with that kind money! It's just plain unrealistic man.
Then, we have the multi-wood/core wand. I'll just say that it's ruined more stories than I can count and would have been better to keep it simple one wood, one core and that that demons in HP universe are simply malevolent magical creatures such as Kelpies, Kappas and Grindylows. Also, I very much doubt you could put eyes or fangs into a thin tube of wood without it being crushed so that was just ridiculous. After that, the holster. Dragon hide is impervious to most spells and potions so I doubt it could be effected by magic much and is just the Wizard equivalent to muggle Leather but with a snakeskin-like appearence. There is also the fact that who would want it to become part of their skin? Just not very believable to anyone who knows the HP universe like most fans.
Next, we have the Imperious Potion, The Imperious Curse is already covered in control and the castor doesn't even have to be in the same country or even concentrate much for it to work as seen in cannon as Voldemort had imperious victims under his control all across Great Britian at the time he was battling at Hogwarts and with his death they were freed. So making a potion with the same effects was unnecessary. Plus, if you really wanted to control someone that way a Love Potion like Amortentia would work just as well.
After that, we have the Dark Arts Books. Considering the political atmosphere and general frowning upon by most people on Dark Arts, Harry should have disguised himself before heading into Knockturn Alley for two reasons, Harry could get a lot of political flak for being seen in a place like Knockturn Alley and of course the Residents of the Alley would most likely not sell to him if they knew who he was and the retribution it could bring them from either Voldemort and the Ministry.
Finally, we have the Time Machine. You do know that Wizards already discovered Time Travel so there was no need to introduce the Machine at all you could have had Harry find an experimental Time Turner that he accidentally sends him into the past were it then would break from the useage and leave Harry stranded and that would have been more believable, plus Magic causes Electronics to die or go haywire so that stops your theory right there unless your saying that harry somehow changed the way the machine was powered in less than a second without him knowing it. Sorry it's just not that believable.
All in All, there were all these problems with this chapter shows that you didn't do much research when writing this so it stands to reason that it wouldn't be as believable. But aside from that it was okay in terms of Grammar and Vocab at least.
| Ranmaleopard chapter 1 . 11/21/2012
this is really awesome and interesting i cant wait to see what happens next please continue!
| HappyEndingsFtw chapter 17 . 11/16/2012
F%#"! AWSM STORY! epic, your plot is fantastic. I hope you will continue the story someday. Thank you for your efforts
| Othinus chapter 17 . 11/4/2012
A shame you did not wish on finishing this piece of art. A real shame that.
| WhiteElfElder chapter 17 . 9/20/2012
I have to wonder if it is Bella that is the spy for Voldemort, that her jealousy has led her to that point in a chance to be rid of Row down the line. If it is her, what she does not realize if that is the case is that Harry will become something worse than Voldemort if that happens, plus it would give Voldemort the key to Hogwarts and it wards and magic. If it is not her, I hope the person screws up and is captured.
| WhiteElfElder chapter 15 . 9/20/2012
Is it Bella or Malfoy that is the death eater assassin?
| johfra chapter 17 . 9/10/2012
just finished reading well done more please
| Sprmanfan chapter 17 . 8/2/2012
| Andy Elladora Black chapter 17 . 6/3/2012
| nintschibintschi chapter 17 . 4/22/2012
Hope you Update sson thanks nintschi
| A heartless flamer chapter 1 . 2/14/2012
my my a fellow Egyptian author in fan FIC ? I am quite surprised ... your style is deliciously flawless ... I wonder why you quit your fic ? o.o
| lunarisita chapter 2 . 1/5/2012
| shubhendu dutta chapter 17 . 11/29/2011
This here is a great story. Why ever did u stopped writing it.
| shubhendu dutta chapter 4 . 11/28/2011
Great story. U write very very well. I generally do not review in between chapters until end but your story sort of forced me to. Continue the good work.