|Reviews for Easy|
| zanganito chapter 1 . 1/28/2014
I like your opening sentence, since it instantly made me want to keep reading and find out what the choice was that was made. I like how you managed to show the character is in a little bit of denial about how "easy" the choice was to make (which is tricky to do in 2nd person pov) by repeating the line /Maybe you're wrong/. Even if Ron has convinced himself it's the right choice to make, it would be hard for him to leave Harry and Hermione, and I think you showed that well here.
| truthsetfree chapter 1 . 1/28/2014
This is a great exploration of Ron.
His emotional state in this is well illustrated- the image of his weary and disheveled state, the way his thoughts sort of jump around a bit. The reader gets just the right measure of distrust, sense of abandonment, and indignation. His motivation is understandable, his character is recognizable though warped, but at the same time, it's clear he's being influenced by something outside himself. Excellent work there.
Nice job re-enforcing the idea of choice. Good use of repetition.
Excellent job with the dialogue at the end. It seemed natural to close this with a flashback to that conversation.
| Edhla chapter 1 . 1/27/2014
Ha, well, despite being a little concerned by the summary and warning, and not being Harry Potter savvy, I really enjoyed this piece :)
The almost-second-person-voice, the use of "you", is deeply unique and immediately caught my attention. You garner a lot of sympathy for Ron, particularly in the first part, with his "jumper on crooked" (a wonderful image!) and the poignant idea of his being just along for the ride, like an afterthought.
The fact that you never explicitly state Ron's decision, even showing it two ways - through narration and through straight dialogue - is very nicely done... all the more powerful for its understatement, particularly Ron's abrupt "it is now", which falls like an anvil blow.
Very, very impressive writing x
| MissScorp chapter 1 . 1/26/2014
I really love how you played up the entire jealousy and resentment angle here with this piece. This could have easily been the way that the story could have gone had Rowling decided to take it that way. It was very obvious from the writing in the novel, and the representation of it in the movie how easily Ron could have chosen to have sided against Ron and Hermione. Really great job in representing this. I also love how you close the story at the end with the conversation between Ron and Hermione, it solidifies his justification for his choice, but also shows his irrationality preventing him from seeing the truth.
Really love your hook line: ((In the end it's not a hard choice at all.)). It makes me wonder what choice it is, and why it is not hard. Great job!
I thought you showcased just how ((dismiss it with a ruthlessness that might have made Hermione proud once.))
Oh, the jealousy and resentment sings out of this line: ((Somewhere along the way Harry and Hermione and you became HarryandHermione with you along for the ride.)). It is clear that Ron feels like a third wheel here. He believes he is not as smart or as savvy with magic as Hermione, nor as lucky or seemingly as talented as Harry, so he questions his use and necessity. That his feelings are being magnified and complicated by his jealousy also make it harder for him to see his role in things.
Oh, this was a fantastic way of closing out Ron's thoughts: ((And you think that maybe the next time you'll see Harry, you'll be at the end of each other's wands.)). It shows just how deep the resentment and and jealousy has drug him, that he's willing to forsake all that because of the madness shimmering inside his head and heart.
Just a suggestion:
(("I know this isn't easy choice to make, but – "))- just need an 'an' after (isn't).
| Esther Huffleclaw chapter 1 . 1/17/2014
At first, the use of “you” gave me pause—is this written in second person? Then I realized “you” is referring to Ron.
The description of him standing by the door with his “jumper on crooked” is wonderful. I can truly see Ron like that in my mind, and it makes me smile. But the feeling he has of being an outsider now makes me sad, because Ron was never an outsider. He was Harry’s first friend, and he will always be Harry’s best friend.
And then Ron leaves, and it sounds like he’s going to use dark magic against Voldemort, and now I’m wondering, is this a Ron-the-Deatheater kind of thing? I don’t think that’s in character for him at all. But it’s very well-written, and the line about the next time Ron and Harry see each other, they’ll be on opposing sides is very stark and sad.
The bottom line for me, is that if Ron turns evil here, I’m not happy about it, but this is still a well-written story.
| Madam'zelleG chapter 1 . 12/23/2013
The voice that you have established here is just absolutely gorgeous and haunting. We get such a clear image of what's going through Ron's head, and it's very potent. I was particularly taken with your summary, and how it led into this, because we almost expect the cliche, but it really doesn't play out in that manner. It's Ron in a rage, but it's still very much in character, and I find that to be really impressive.
I loved the way that you used run-on and clipped sentences to give us an idea of how the thoughts are playing out in his head. They flowed together especially well, and it's just so sad and it draws me in for the entirety of the piece. Really well done.
| Ersatz Einstein chapter 1 . 12/14/2013
I always love it when authors deliberately play with language, and your spacing in the 6th paragraph definitely qualifies. The smaller things you did, such as the gasping, stumbling run-on in the 5th paragraph, worked well, too. The only thing is that your comment on what Dumbledore said seemed at odds with the rest of the piece. The ending gave it a bit of an asymmetric feel, largely because it's such a short fic to begin with, but it was certainly a surprise.
| 3dumplings3 chapter 1 . 8/14/2012
I don't even like traitor ron, but this is so...interesting somehow...I don't know why.
| Guest chapter 1 . 3/22/2011
This was great. I can see Ron's dilemma, or rather the way he no longer had a dilemma. Well done.
| Isha-libran chapter 1 . 1/6/2011
Ooh, love this. The twist at the end - wonderful! Didn't see it coming at all. )
Thanks for sharing this with us!
| Mrs. Crocodile chapter 1 . 11/16/2010
This story does not bite at all! I thought it was very well done. It felt real and heartbreaking.
I've been a fan of your HP oneshots from way back, and I guess I never read this one because I love Ron, and I didn't want to see him do the whole betrayal thing. But I'm glad I finally read it because it was not what I expected at all.
| heygodcomplex chapter 1 . 10/25/2010
I really liked this. People always show Ron as the comic relief or the immature one in the group, but they seem to forget that he's probably the sanest one and... morally right. Your Ron was perfect.
| Espoir Noir chapter 1 . 8/10/2010
Poor Ron. I feel like he gets the hard end of the stick so often. Thank-you for giving him this story for me to pity him and love him that extra little bit more.
| 34. The Forest Again chapter 1 . 7/28/2010
Very original. I have been suffering from writer's block and this is just what I needed. So I thank you. :)
| Louey06 chapter 1 . 7/24/2010
That was very good