|Reviews for Redeemed|
| mastersam chapter 2 . 10/15/2007
Not bad, a little choppy, and I think that 'kid' was what they called baby goats until the 1800's.
| Kitty-Chan . blackkat chapter 1 . 3/24/2006
Hey I loved this chapter, it was great! I wish I could write as well as this. You're really good at describing things...I could really see the environment. .
| scionofkyuubi chapter 1 . 2/13/2006
do u plan on putting in the characters from the series, or is this siegfried-centric?
| Sacharja chapter 1 . 2/12/2006
Uhum... this story deserves more attention and of course a review. ;)
Well, I kinda feel as if I had never read your story before, so I have no idea how "crappy" - as you said - it was really. What I do know is, that I seriously like your style of writing.. Characterization of Siegfried and similes to describe the environment among other things are done very well.
Since 90% of the content is already known stuff from the intro, I cant really criticize anything about it despite the fact, that its written well.
But theres one thing, that bothered me right when I read it the first time. If I were you I would have neither explicitely said, that the Azure Knight still exists nor given Sieg a hint of mentioned existance already in the prolog of your story. Its way too early for him knowing about his mightiest contrahent and it draws the possibility of creating great suspense away in later parts of the story.
So unless its part of some great master-plan you gotta fix that for your stories sake.
Better let Sieg fight off some unimportant enemies, get thank-you and stuff from the village and regain more of his confidence. You could let him walk that line and cheer him up during the story while creating a dark veil of negative aspects ready to struck him down in the moment of greatest joy. Just some idea, I guess you have your own plan. ;)
Anyways, just in case you havent taken that into consideration yet, different perspectives really help a story out. And while Im against collecting-fics with all or nearly as much SC-characters in it, I suggest you to at least use 3 or 4 different points of views for this story. That would help the overall-atmosphere and you should still be able to maintain sieg as core of the story.
Just some ideas. Like I said, if you have plan, you may ignore any of my suggestions.
Hope I kind helped you and got you to continue writing. Update soon. This place needs more serious fics. :)