|Reviews for One More Chance To Die|
| MossiStone chapter 13 . 9/24/2013
Holy vapor! Amzing
| DarkHououmon chapter 1 . 5/20/2013
I do enjoy this story a lot. But there's two things that confuse me.
First, in the second chapter, you state that Aelita was not yet materialized. The whole story is written to support this, with Aelita not appearing in school, just on Lyoko. That is, until the final chapter, where she suddenly standing with the others in the real world, with no explanation.
And the other, if this takes place before Aelita is materialized, then one of the ways Odd is nearly killed could not have been due to Yumi. XANA does not have the power to possess humans in the first season.
Another problem with this is that, even if this took place in a different timeline where XANA got human possessing powers faster, he still wouldn't have been able to control Yumi. It is shown in the show that Odd and Ulrich are immune to possession due to all their times fighting on Lyoko. Yumi would be the same way. Now this could be forgiven if it wasn't Yumi, but a polymorphic spectre posing as Yumi, which XANA is fully capable of doing.
Despite these two issues, I did enjoy the story. I hope you have a sequel in store in the future.
| IMMAFIRINMAHLAZER chapter 13 . 9/14/2008
the song "do you belive in life after love" is on right now and i think it matches this story perfectly! write another story!
| majinbuttercup chapter 13 . 7/26/2008
This was pretty good. I doubt Xana really cares that much one way or another to continuously attack one person, but for the purpose of the story it was pretty well done. I noticed you didn't mention anything about Kiwi trying to comfort his owner when he was in pain, which I'm sure he would do (not that there would be much a dog could do, but he'd still try. He'd stand in front of him protectively or lick his face while wimpering something along those lines.) Also, in the last chapter, you have Aelita in the real world, when you had said she hadn't been materialized yet. In all that was going on with Odd, I can't see Jeremie entirely focused on the problem of materializing her, so I doubt he'd be able to do it at that moment. Otherwise, as I said, pretty good. The emotions were realistic and the attacks something I could see Xana doing. You probably had Ulrich doing CPR for too long, 'cause I thing there's a short amount of time and after that, without blood and oxygen going to the brain it causes brain damage, but I'm not a doctor and don't know exactly how long that is, so I may be wrong. Anyway, as I said, pretty good. There were some spelling and grammar mistakes that you should watch out for the next time you post something, though.
| Steph chapter 13 . 7/11/2007
oh poor Odd
love the story so much
| Random Monkey chapter 13 . 6/10/2007
;_; I'd hate for this to be an abandoned story, since the ending calls for... a sequel of sorts!
The ending of this chapter was pretty ominous.
The only problem I have, is i thought you said that they hadn't de-virtualized ((I can't spell!)) Aelita yet, but she was with Odd and the others when he woke up.
Otherwise, great chapter!
A quick read story, but worth anyone's time as well. Nice job.
| Random Monkey chapter 12 . 6/10/2007
For the sake of the story, they can cry on Lyoko.
Only ten life-points left... Ah, I'd freak. Yup.
As usual, Good chapter.
| Random Monkey chapter 11 . 6/10/2007
Must read the next chapter! It's so close to the end...Ooh, what's going to happen? And I think it would be like Odd to lie about something like that, good job keeping them all mostly IC.
| Random Monkey chapter 10 . 6/10/2007
Gah, what's going to happen now?
Apparently something bed... Must read the next chapter!
I need this to have a point... so I guess you should go over your grammar/etc. a little bit more. That's it.
Awesome... coming towards the end, too.
| Random Monkey chapter 9 . 6/10/2007
_ Live, Odd, LIVE!
Nice chapter. I better go read the next one!
| Random Monkey chapter 8 . 6/10/2007
Poor Odd. I can't help but wonder what happened to make him stop breathing.
I also think this chapter was longer than the others.
| Random Monkey chapter 7 . 6/10/2007
Awesome, barely any spelling mistakes!
Oh... This story feels like it's going to end up with Odd dying.
I hope not, he's just too cool to die!
| Random Monkey chapter 6 . 6/10/2007
All you need to do is go over spelling. There's some criticism.
Hm, I'd like to know why his leg is still broken...
But who needs sensible answers? Not me, nope.
| Random Monkey chapter 5 . 6/10/2007
no no, NOT short and stupid. Short and awesome!
...Yeah, I suck. The leg thing kind of makes you want to cringe, neh?
Check your spelling, and that's it. Very nice.
| Random Monkey chapter 4 . 6/10/2007
All you need to do is make the chapters a bit longer, even if the story is finished. This is for... future reference, I guess. Then, check your wording/spelling, and it'll be great.
More detail would be nice, but this can be skipped. Nice chapter, Odd's cement comment was funny.